Airplane Baby - SNL

GOOD AFTERNOON, FRIENDS. WE JUST REACHED CRUISING ALTITUDE AND TURN OFF THOSE SEAT BELT SIGNS. ENJOY YOUR FLIGHT. HELLO EVERYONE. I JUST WANTED TO SAY THIS IS MY BABY'S FIRST TIME FLYING, so I apologize in advance for little Eddie. I'M FLYING WITHOUT MY HUSBAND, SO BEAR WITH ME, PLEASE. I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. I RAISED THREE ON MY OWN. HOW OLD IS HE? I'M 11 MONTHS OLD. OH, WOW. DO YOU MEAN 11 MONTHS AND LIKE 15,000 DAYS? MY EARS FEEL STRANGE. AWW. IT'S OKAY MY LOVE. IT'S JUST THE PRESSURE OF BEING AT THE HIGH. MY EARS, THEY FEEL DIFFERENT. I DON'T LIKE!

IT'S OKAY. HERE. DO YOU WANT YOUR iPAD, HONEY? PEPPA PIG'S DEVICE? THAT'S THE ONLY THING I WANT. HERE YOU GO, HONEY. CHILDREN AND THEIR iPADS, RIGHT? DO NOT PARTICIPATE. I DON'T KNOW HOW HE DOES IT. PEPPA IS FANTASTIC. I LIKE THIS A LOT, I JUST WANT TO SHAKE IT. AW, YOU ARE THE SWEETEST BABY. CAN YOU GET SOME DRINK FOR THE BABY MONSTER? I'M SORRY. OH LORD. WORRY-FREE. I'll make the Diet Coke, please. AND FOR THE LITTLE ONE? WHO IS THAT WOMAN? SHE IS NOT MY MOTHER. NOW I FEEL CONFUSED AND UNCOMFORTABLE, AND I FRANKLY MISS THE Womb!

WOWHH! HONEY -- WAHH! IT'S OKAY. I'm going to look for your Baba. HERE. THANK YOU. I FEEL BETTER. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM? OH, ISN'T HE DEAR? I was worried he would come out overcooked considering I was pregnant with him for two full years, but here he is, a perfect little angel. AND HE LOOKS LIKE HIS FATHER. LOOKS LIKE A FATHER. DO YOU WANT TO PLAY A GAME, BUD? NOT NOW. I WANT TO SEE IF I CAN FIT MY WHOLE ARM INTO MY MOUTH. HONEY, NO. Honey, no. NO. Honey, no. Hey, how about we play with your poookie bear, huh?

I LOVE IT! AND WHERE DID HE GO? AHHHH! HE DISAPPEARED! HE DISAPPEARED! NO, Pookie! OH, HEY, POOKIE IS BACK. I feel so much euphoria! WHERE DID HE GO? NO, CHRIST, HE'S GONE! YOU KILLED HIM, BITCH! HERE IT IS. AND ONCE AGAIN HE HAS RETURNED. IT'S JUST A GAME, HONEY. SORRY AGAIN, EVERYONE. FIRST TIME FLYING. YOU KNOW HOW IT IS. STOP LOOKING AT US. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS HE SHITTING? I DON'T LIKE THAT HE'S LOOKING AT ME. I'M DONE. I DON'T LIKE HOW IT FEELS. I DON'T LIKE HOW IT FEELS. AH! NEXT TIME, USE BABY AVION, FLY YOUR BABY SEPARATELY ON BABY AVION.