Activities to Heal Your Inner Child (That You Can Start Now)

foreigner welcome to therapy explained where we explain demystify and destigmatize mental

heal

th and mental

heal

th treatment my name is denise pliner i am a licensed marriage and family therapist and

your

own mental health cheerleader healing the

inner

child

is directly related to our relationship with our parents our

child

hood and the healing of intergenerational wounds, as well as looking back at all the things that have been passed down from generation to generation and that remain painful habits that are unhealthy and can be toxic, that have been passed down to us and that in a way we have. experienced and suffered also means that we now have the opportunity to heal, undo and break some of those patterns;

However, this journey can be difficult and lonely. We've talked about

inner

child healing in the past if you want to learn more. I'm familiar with this, check out the video I'm linking here, but today I want to talk more about real things you can do to continue healing the inner child. It's hard for us to really think about practical things we can do. We have to do it or we would like to do it and it would feel good to heal our inner child, but on a day to day basis it is difficult to understand what that really looks like, so today I will share with you five different

activities

. for inner child healing before we jump into it, although I want to talk a little bit about the journey of inner child healing and the process of that, for us the journey of healing our inner child is difficult, it means looking back to the ways in which we experienced abandonment, rejection or abuse as children, it requires pain, it requires that we be able to sit in that grave and learn how to very slowly show up for ourselves when we were children, there was no safe adult, no one spoke for us or protecting ourselves when we needed it most and learning to be that safe adult is a journey, but that's the key, it's about learning how we can show up for that part of ourselves and that can be a very useful way to think about it and you'll notice that This is a pattern in some of the

activities

we'll talk about today: separating that identity for ourselves or knowing that those things are different parts of who we are, that inner child, that childish version of ourselves. who experience those wounds or probably even continue to experience them from time to time there is that adult version of ourselves that can pay our bills and go to work and take care of ourselves and those two constantly interact with each other, they are probably also different parts of us too that also They are falling apart in this Dynamic, but when we think about it that way, now we are so adults or we have the opportunity to be that adult that we never had practicing, that is really the essence. of Inner Child Healing With this in mind, let's go ahead and talk about activities that you can

start

doing right now for inner child healing writing letters, you can write a letter that helps you reflect on the feelings that you have had in the past and to express a feeling that you can continue to carry now, but who are you writing these letters to? you can write a letter to the father you have now you can write a letter to the father you wish you had you can write a letter to

your

inner child who you were at the time that wound was inflicted on you can write a letter to the future you to the past you to the present There are so many different players in this dynamic to whom you can dedicate yourself to writing letters to, so what?

What do we do with these cards and what is their purpose? It helps us express our feelings, something we probably haven't had the opportunity to do in a long time and definitely not as children, especially as people of color that we tend to come away from. again this idea that our culture has this idea that our cultures have this idea that children should be seen and not heard, you're not really allowed to have opinions or feelings about your life and what you want or what you want. what is happening because that can be seen as a response or disrespect, so we have learned to suppress our feelings.

If we were socialized as women, then this is another layer on top of not having a voice, not speaking up, and not being assertive about our needs. our feelings or our desires in our life, so this form of expression for writing letters has no filter, so I encourage you to do it, write the letter the way you would like to write it, whatever you want to say, don't hold back . Be mean, be rude if that's what you want, let it out, but these letters are not for people to read, it's not your place to give them to that parent, that friend or that other person, it's actually mostly for you. , because that's what the healing journey is about and it's for you to have a space to express how you feel now.

If at some point you would like someone to read that letter, the more you will process and express how you feel. You'll probably have a more concise, better-written version of what you mean when we write things out of pure emotion, anger, sadness, resentment, all of those things are valid and all of those things are true, but sometimes they're also painted with a broad brush. or it can cause us to make assumptions about other people's intent or the other person's intent and that's perfectly fine when we're first trying to express how we feel, but again, the more we process and the more we try to understand the dynamics and the stories . and patterns, the better we will be able to see what happened in that situation and then also express what our real needs and feelings are, so if you are going to write letters, I encourage you to sit down and find space both physically and emotionally, you can do this by letting a candle, playing music, making sure you dim the lights or make sure it's a bright space, whatever it is you need, that that physical space around you facilitates that reflection or that expression. very helpful, so set up some space for yourself, write some of those letters and I hope it can be a good

start

for you.

Engage in those parts of yourself that are suffering and having that dialogue is another active way that you can work on healing your inner child. Talk to your inner child throughout the day when you have a strong or overwhelming emotion. Don't judge him The way you talk to yourself is also the way you talk to your inner child and most likely it's also the way the adults in your life talked to you when you were a child. is that we tend to take what we were taught as children and then internalize it and then without even realizing it, we end up continuing to practice these behaviors and patterns that hurt us and do not facilitate the healing of the inner child, so engage in dialogue with Diálogo positive and compassionate, try not to judge these emotions or call yourself names like lazy or stupid.

I also encourage you to replace any phrases like "I have, I'm supposed to, I have to have, I should have," with perhaps more positive, strengths-based words, as I would. I would like to get there too I would feel good it could be useful too because the other phrases the first phrases are more about comparison and expectations they keep what keeps us stagnant because they weigh us down and it is not useful but when we give ourselves the opportunity to see things differently as if I really wanted to do this. I really think it would be helpful for me to do this.

It would feel good to do it. So it's actually more faithful to what's really happening. It might actually be more useful. set some boundaries I really want to sleep in or sleep more or make sure I eat in a way that makes me feel good instead of working through lunch, so that reinforces this idea of ​​what might actually feel good to me and would be helpful to do it without expectations and with what you really want to do now. If that phrase doesn't ring true to you. I would like to work 10 hours. So that's a sign to you that no.

Actually, I wouldn't feel good either. Actually, I wouldn't want to do it. It also helps you clarify spaces where you could use some boundaries and if you need more help with boundaries, I have a whole video on boundaries, actually there are two series of videos on boundaries so far, so be sure to check it out, engage in art and play what A better way to heal our inner child than to allow it to play and engage in art. These forms of expression can help us release emotions in a healthy way that we normally don't allow ourselves to do, but two when it's hard for us. even naming what we feel, this is a non-verbal way of doing it, to express what is happening to us even in anger, taking a crayon and coloring red on a large sheet of paper on a white sheet of paper feels good and yes , that is.

Art because when you look at it you'll see all the scribbles of your emotions shown on that paper, but also playing, playing, it's amazing, go, jump rope and play, I don't know, with your Play-Doh or color, all these things are so It's amazing to be in touch with that part of ourselves. If you were a parentified child, then you probably didn't have much time for art and play, so now is the time to allow yourself to do all the things you wish you had the opportunity to do. do when you were a child or that you wanted to do but you didn't have the opportunity to do it in our opportunity too and if you did and there are things that you enjoyed when you were a child, start doing them now.

I recently experienced something that brought me back. a lot of joy and I witnessed it. I couldn't participate because I was with another group of friends, but I was in a park with a group of friends and on the other side of the park I noticed that there was a group of 20-year-old adults playing with water balloons. Now we are in the hot California summer and it was amazing. It gave me so much joy to see all these adults playing with water balloons, shouting, laughing and just having fun, that's what we do. We deserve more, especially when we try to heal our inner child, it is to make space for that fun and that joy that is also part of healing rest.

Now I know this piece is hard, but allowing yourself to rest is the inner child work we don't do. I don't really think about it that way, but rest is crucial for us when we are exhausted emotionally or mentally, but also physically, and when we make sure we get enough sleep, that is, we tell our inner child and our adult self that our feelings are important and that our needs are important and this is a completely opposite message to what we have experienced in the past that our needs were not important and that we needed to serve family or we needed to serve our parents in order to help the family to survive in one way or another and when we practice allowing ourselves to stop and rest to enjoy, we are also healing that part of ourselves if you feel you need more support in general for inner child healing, boundaries and family navigation. relationships check out my group practice website we offer individual and couples therapy for bypoc adults in California so if that's you and you're interested be sure to stop by if not.

I also have some other pages on our website with resources if you are. not in California or would like other types of resources, you can also go ahead and check them out below. I know a lot of inner child work is easier said than done, but that's the point, if it were easy, we would have done it already. I did it and cured it. The point is, it's a journey and it's complicated and it can be difficult and lonely, but I hope some of these activities give you more clarity about what you can really do that day.

Nowadays there are more active and committed activities in which you can participate. All of these activities can also be a source of material for your therapy if you go to therapy and you're doing the work and you want to do a little bit. A little bit more, these are some things you can do and anything that comes up from all of this you can take to therapy and process what happened to you. One last piece of advice if any of these things seemed very difficult and challenging to you even just thinking about it. In itself it is something that can lead to the therapy process, why would that be difficult for you?

What are the barriers around that? And then you can process it in your therapy so that you can get to the point where maybe you can engage more in these activities. frequently or just be patient with yourself, it's truly a journey seek support if that's what you need and thank you so much for watching today's video. I hope this was another piece that you found useful.