2015 Golden Globes Funny Host Tina Fey and Amy Poehler

Good evening and welcome, you bunch of despicable, spoiled brats with a modicum of talent. We are very happy to be here presenting the 72nd and final Golden Globe Awards tonight. We celebrate all the great TV shows we know and love, as well as all the movies that North Korea was. Okay, that's right, the biggest story in Hollywood this year was when North Korea threatened an attack if Sony Pictures released the interview, forcing us all to pretend we wanted to see it. North Korea called the interview absolutely intolerable and a senseless act of terror. Even more surprising, it's not the worst movie guy review, so here tonight on Na.

Oh, many great stars, stars. Oprah is here. She is going to put a cranberry candle under all of her seats. Reese Witherspoon is here. She is so cool in the wild movie that she herself walked so bravely. Andy Serkis was cool like your backpack Simmons from JK is here or what Matthew McConaughey calls it just keep Simmons Kristof and amy adams vaults are here they were so cool with big eyes Oh actually they were and actually , one of those famous big i paintings is on display tonight, let's take a look Oh, it's cute but it's creepy, yes, eyes Patricia Arquette is here, she's so wonderful in the movie.

Childhood, childhood proves that there are still great roles for women over 40, as long as they hire you when you're under 40, Joaquin Phoenix is ​​nominated for inherent vice, but he's obviously not here tonight because he's publicly said that the award shows our total and absolute appointment. Oh hey, Joaquin Steve Carell is here tonight for Foxcatcher on Foxcatcher. Steve Carell plays a paranoid killer. billionaire and the role was a stretch for Carell when real life is a millionaire paranoid murderer deep growl Foxcatcher's look took me two hours including her hair and makeup, just for comparison today it took me three hours to prepare for my role as the woman human.

Frances McDormand is here Can I just tell you that I love you? You're the only person in this room I'd save in a fire. Julia Louie Dreyfus is here because she is obsessed with me. Okay, we're not friends. Jennifer Anderson is here tonight, nominated for the movie cake. We should explain to everyone in the room that Hollywood people's cake is like a fluffy dessert that people eat on their birthdays and birthdays are like something that people eat on their birthdays. People celebrate when they admit that they have aged, do you know what else has happened? I heard so many British actors play Americans this year, yes, and I, for one, don't care.

I love the sound of a British actor with an American accent. I like it when they talk like that. I can't tell they're British when they're talking in our movie parks Wes Anderson is here tonight for the big movie Budapest sir your usual western arrived on a bicycle made from old tuba parts George Clooney married Amal alamuddin this year Amal is A human rights lawyer who worked on the Enron case was an adviser to Kofi Annan regarding Syria and was selected for a three-person UN commission investigating violations of the rules of war in the Gaza Strip, so that tonight her husband will receive a Lifetime Achievement Award, of course, George Booty is here to receive the prestigious Cecil B DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award.

Award or does he know that you've been pranking a lot of people for 25 years and he knows that maybe you're about to go sessile? Hey, since this is the last time we're featuring teenagers and I wanted to quickly play through one of our favorite games, yeah, and Amy and I have been friends for almost 50 years and the secret to our long-lasting friendship is that we don't have any overlap in our tastes in men. No, we never think that the same man is attractive and we will prove it. doing it right now doing what everyone is doing at home playing a game of who would you rather is very quick okay would you rather Colin Farrell or Colin Firth? okay Farrell all day Firth for a polite time Sina next and Norton or Mark Ruffalo, which one was Hulk?

They both fired. Well, I'll pick Norton because he's method and he could act like he liked him. Well, I'll choose Mark because everyone knows I like Ruffalo. He's fine. Chris Pine. Chris Pine. ok richard linklater or alejandro in your v2 hmm I'm going to say injury to one it takes two hours straight without stopping now it blinks five minutes once a year let's talk about these great films yes, the theory of everything wonderful film this year the two things that To the public he loves a crippling nervous disease and super complicated math. Selma in the 1960s, thousands of black people from all over the United States came together with a common goal to form Sly and the Family Stone, but the movie Selma is about the American civil rights movement that totally worked and now everything is fine, Keep going girl, it was a big hit this year, yeah, come on girl, I don't know, I don't know, Tina, I didn't like it, girl gone, I go to the movies to escape, I don't want to just watch.

Up there on screen myself, the new Tyler Perry was so good in Gone Girl that he was actually asked to write and direct a sequel called Girl I Thought You Went Into the Woods, starring Meryl Streep, Maril plays a witch which sends the townspeople on a magical quest to collect the items he needs to earn another gold tooth. Have any of you ever done it at any time in the sun? Now I have it, but anyone could do it. It's a strange word. I'm not going to lie to you or the forest. Cinderella runs away from her prince Rapunzel is thrown from a tower by her prince and Sleeping Beauty simply thought she was having coffee with Bill Cosby.

I don't know if you saw this on the news today, but Bill Cosby finally spoke out about the allegations. Against him, Cosby admitted to a journalist that he gave the pills to people, people didn't want the pills in his La

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, hey, of course, that's not right, it's more like he had people, you're right, it must be like If I had bought the pills at the hoagie, that's it, yeah, that's it, that's fair, it seems fair, but finally Tina, let's talk about television. Oh, and they tell me we're running out of time. Our apologies. Television. I'm sorry.

Come back tomorrow. Well, then let's get started. Are you ready to have. a bit of fun