10 Hours Stuck in IKEA

We just got here to Las Vegas. And there's one place we had to go right away - we couldn't wait! Beautiful, charming, IKEA: Home Furnishings Truly God's own land, isn't it? ( ♫ music ♫ ) This is my brother, Sean, by the way. - Hello. Wait, dude, these are free? You bring them back when you check out. - Wait, these are free bags? Just take them. - Are you serious right now? Is all this just free bags? Here, take this one. Hold this. Sean, you don't have to listen to Ethan. Wait. Are you serious? Do they only give away pencils here?

Are you serious right now? This is the best purchasing decision we have ever made. Here, Sean, take this. Hold this. This sofa bed costs $130. It doesn't even make sense. For example, you build that shit in China. You send it on a ship. Someone puts it together and puts it here. That doesn't even make sense, dude! Something strange is happening! As if someone was dying. Some kids' hands bleed with those $130. I guarantee it, friend. That said, an excellent purchase that would make a great addition to anyone's living room. ( ♫ music ♫ ) Can I buy this? What is this product called? (writing) True... true love.

I think the price is $9.99. Dude! Salmon fillet for $7? Do they also get...? Is this about the steak of Chinese kids working themselves to death building $100 couches? ( ♫ music ♫ ) It is a blåbär and hallon shake. You know? Have you never heard of blåbär and hallon milkshake? What are you talking about, Hila? That... is fucked... (jokes) I'll take the Swedish meatballs, please. ( ♫ music ♫ ) They give you the mobility and food of a nursing home. So, I'm on my way to dying here, fifty years early. Frankly, I'm looking forward to it. It is going to be very fun. ( ♫ music ♫ ) Finally, it tastes like sausage.

It tastes like round, fucked up sausage. They sell them like they're damn meatballs. It's sausage. Why would anyone eat this crap? Disgusting. Retirement meal. Why would anyone stand in line to eat this crap? Fucking disgusting. It's not worth the money. Hey! This food is horrible. Don't go to IKEA for the meatballs. It's not very good. But it's like... it's pretty much what you expected. Describe the flavors as they occur. - A shitty sausage. (laughs) A fucking sausage! Yeah, it's like a very soft shit sausage. It's like shit... It's like shit sausage at the restaurant you hate.

Wow, Hila comes with fucking strong words against IKEA! But, of course, do you know what kind of meat it is? Damn overworked Chinese kids, dude! It's the Chinese children's steak! - When they complain and ask for a raise, here they go. ( ♫ music ♫ ) Are you serious? Are they only giving away baby bibs here at IKEA? Are you serious right now, buddy? Are they just giving them away? Here, Sean, hold this. Hold this. Are you serious right now? - Now I'm ready. I'm ready to eat good IKEA food. It's quite fashionable. (laughs) It's very fashionable! That's it, what do you say?

Is that haute couture? That's pretty high fashion, I'll say, I mean, yeah, definitely bring 'em, dude. This is very useful for you. ( ♫ music ♫ ) I have the feeling, walking through IKEA, that civilization is about to end. You know what I mean? MMM. It's like... I have the feeling that everything is about to end very soon. I don't know how to describe it, but... When I look at a shelf with 100 plungers for 99 cents, it makes me think that it will all be over very soon. ( ♫ music ♫ ) We walked around IKEA for two

hours

so my brother could buy this.

I need one that is better. The cutest fucking toothbrush holder IKEA has to offer, I'm giving it to you today! You follow your dreams and find the best one! The cutest! What about this? Oh, that's like a little trash can. It's cute! It's cute? Cost? Well, there are two. Three dollars. That is what it is? Yes. Why are there two? You get two... (laughs). You get an endorsement, buddy. Here, like, look. This shit is falling out of our ears. Let's give them two. We have 10,000 of these. Ah, you found it! Oh this is the best! This one has metal, guys!

Well, it comes in a box. $9.99! That's more classy. That's more classy. So, is this the toothbrush holder of your dreams? Mine. Are you buying it? I buy it to you. Thanks my friend. Thanks, h3h3. I love you brother. We will connect you today. Sean, I just want to congratulate Sean. He got the toothbrush holder of his dreams, the best one they offer at IKEA, $9.99. That will be our gift here at h3h3productions to my beloved brother, Sean. Thanks my friend. I appreciate you. And now Hila wanted to say something about the toothbrush holder. Here, Sean.

This is from both of us. Thanks, Hila. Thank you. Sean, what do you think of your new IKEA toothbrush holder? - I'm so excited. I'm going to go home, grab my toothbrush and put it inside. ( ♫ music ♫ ) This is like some communist shit, man. Then when you think you're done, you have to come to the damn warehouse, give them your ticket, do your own shit, and then go home and build it. It's like, yeah, it's cheap, but you end up spending like 20

hours

buying and assembling your damn $100 piece of furniture. Isn't your time worth more than that!?

We don't have much time left on this earth, guys! You need to value every hour! You can't spend it building fucking IKEA sofas, dude! Cherish your moments here on earth, guys! It's not worth buying at IKEA! Cherish your time on earth, guys! Don't buy at IKEA! That is not worth it! We weren't born on this earth to build IKEA furniture, guys! We are more valuable! We are human beings! We have emotions and feelings! Time is precious to us! The gods are envious of man because they know we will flee when they die! We don't need to spend our only hours here at IKEA, shopping, taking out furniture and building it!

I know they're only $100, but it's not worth the damn effort, guys! Do not come here! The meatballs aren't even that good, man! Well, Ethan, the chair I wanted... is up there. Well. - So, do you want to push me up or something? Yes, yes, I got you. (laughs) You're doing well, Hila! You're doing it right. Get it! Grab it, buddy! It's only $7.99! It's the only one left! I can't get it! We have to take the chair, Hila, it's the only one left! (laughs) I can't do it. Well. (cough) I can't do it! - We literally spent eight hours walking around IKEA and now we have to go somewhere else because it's out of our reach and now I have to spend an extra $50 to save 20 hours of my fucking time! (♫music♫) (♫end♫)