Worst SNES Classic Ever 2 - Rerez

The NES and SNES Classic are two of the best systems Nintendo has

ever

released. While these are just snapshots of the company's history, they've done a great job of making sure their older games run really well on those small systems. But... Some companies just want to have fun without putting in any effort. And then they released these: cloned systems that aren't NES or SNES Classic, and they're much worse. They are filled with tons of terrible games and don't play them correctly at all. And one would assume this would have ended here. No other company would really want to keep making terrible systems, right?

Well...they have done it! A company recently released a console that turned out to be one of the

worst

systems we've

ever

seen. Before I start exploring this mess, I need to tell you what the name of this console is. Now, one would assume it would be called SNES Classic or some variation of that name to copy Nintendo... Well, that's not what they did here! This system is called, and I'm not making this up, Classic Mini HDMI TV Game SX-86 Mini Games Console Entertainment System. You can call it whatever you want, but I'll call it what it really is: garbage.

The console itself looks like the European SNES Classic or the Super Famicom, which is cool, you know, because when you look at the box and see PLAYSTATION CONTROLLERS, you're probably going to be very confused. And those PlayStation controllers aren't just any PlayStation controllers, they happen to be the

worst

ever made. When you hold the controller, it feels so light and fragile, like you're about to break it. And it all seems so tacky it's not even funny! The D-Pad (all those little individual buttons) appear all at once, which is awesome because all they needed to do to fix it was put it on some sort of center pivot.

And if you touch the little shoulder buttons on the back, they're so flimsy and wobbly that you're surprised these things actually work. But by far the most offensive thing about these controllers are the terrible analog sticks. These things are made from 100 percent real trash plastic. And they don't feel good when you touch them! Usually on the top, there would be some kind of soft rubber to be so gentle on your finger and make it easier to play, but with this, they slide because they were made without any care or love. . Exactly the same amount of effort that went into the controllers went into the console itself.

It feels hollow and very sticky. And when you touch it lightly, you can hear the plastic creak, which is a great sign of build quality. I could spend an hour looking at all the problems I find in the box itself. Look up here where it says "NEOGEO" and you'll see an image of Street Fighter. Do you really think any of the Street Fighter games appeared on a Neo Geo platform? Oh, and check out this perfect model family! They look cute, don't they, all in their cute, crisp white shirts. Well, look at that kid holding the controller!

Look at that controller a little closer and you'll notice that they Photoshopped it so badly that you're clearly not touching any of the buttons. But all this is nothing, right? As long as the console plays well, that's all that really matters. But if you thought for a moment that this console was actually going to run games properly, you were in for something else. Buckle up, folks, because it's about time we take a look at one of the worst consoles we've ever seen on the show. Now, friends, before turning on this beast, we have to play it safe and read the user manual.

And when I did, I found a couple of choice sections that, well, you'll be able to listen to for yourself. Number 4 of "Introduction to Machine Function": ...What did ALL of that mean?! Even though the box shows a child playing, you have to read the manual because he says in the "Attention to use" section, Again... gibberish. Okay, it doesn't look like the manual is going to be much help! Let's turn this on. And... the—okay? It doesn't seem to be working. Let's try it again, turn it on and... Okay,... it still doesn't work. Ah, let's press the reset button...

It still doesn't work! Okay, let's unplug it and plug it back in! And… there we go! Finally! Well, the third time is the charm. Or maybe not, because sometimes when you turn this thing on, an error will appear in the card reader. Unlike other video game systems we've reviewed that have a large number of games built into the system, this one comes with games, but they're all on an SD card included within the system itself. If there is ever a problem with reading that card, the system must be turned off and on again for it to actually work.

But if you're unlucky, the system will eventually turn on and you'll be able to choose from a selection of preloaded games. Let's take a look at the first selection, "NEO NGO". Neh... What is that?! How did you spell "Neo Geo" wrong? D—ngh—okay, let's just...let's get in there. Well, here's my first pet peeve: each and every game that is preloaded here is still a .ZIP file and doesn't have the correct title. Yes, you can know what some of them are, but some are a little more difficult than others. Okay, let's try Magical Drop II.

Now, regardless of which game you choose on this system, they all start with the exact same screen and from here you have a ton of options. But I just want to highlight a couple of them, because they're really dumb. The first is the "Game Guide", an option that serves no purpose, because no game in this entire system makes use of it! That means that when you try to start it nothing happens. Completely. Useless. Next is the Upload Progress option. This would be really cool because it gives you a bunch of save states that you can load a game at any time while playing!

But unfortunately, they forgot to implement a save state feature, so there is no way to use it. Oh wow, but I know what you're saying. "Shane, just go to the Settings option and from there go to Keyboard Mapping and change the controller layout." Well, guess what, friends! When you try to do that, the system doesn't recognize the controller that's actually connected to the system, so you can't remap any of the controls for any of the games you're about to play. But I think one of the worst problems is that if you actually look at the screen we just showed you, the one with the loading progress, settings, and game guide, you'll notice that one thing is missing.

The "Start game" function. That's because they didn't have one there! What you have to do is reset the emulation every time you go to play! So, you go to the top and press Restart. That's the only way to start any game on this entire system. Incredible. I have to imagine that what happened here was that they were going to have some kind of resume feature, you know, so when you turn off the game mid-game, you can pick up where you left off. But they just didn't do any of that and kept the reset button there. Bravo.

As crazy as it may seem, I'm willing to overlook a lot of things as long as they get Neo Geo games to run properly on this system. Alright. We'll see. YEAAUAUAUAAAUUGHHHH! HOW DID THAT WRONG?!! IT'S THE BEGINNING OF A NEO GEO GAME! IT'S THE ONLY THING YOU SHOULD DO WELL! And you SHOULD have seen that this was not correct! It's INCREDIBLY bad! That has to be one of the most iconic intros to any arcade system ever created, and just not hearing it correctly, enough is enough! It's like nails on a blackboard! Oh, and as for Magical Drop II, it runs at exactly half the frame rate you'd find on a real Neo Geo.

It makes the game completely unplayable! And that's on top of really bad sound emulation and terrible input latency. These same issues will affect every Neo Geo game you play on this system, meaning everything here is unplayable. But it gets better, because if you look at that list of games, you'll find non-Neo Geo games that were hidden here, like Street Fighter II! And since Street Fighter II didn't run on Neo Geo hardware, it might actually have a chance of running well. We'll see. It almost seems like it's working correctly, right? But if you listen a little closer, you'll notice that the entire game runs fifteen to twenty percent slower than it should.

This affects everything from the music to the sound effects, and especially the gameplay. If you're lucky enough that the game doesn't crash, which it eventually will, you'll notice certain visual glitches, like a broken screen, or in some cases, entire game assets are broken, like these clouds here. Every SINGLE arcade game here has visual issues and artifacts. But I think what makes things worse are the control issues. You have input latency issues where the buttons just register much later than they should and then (I don't even know how to explain this) the controller seems to be broken or it's the way the console accepts input.

I'm not really sure what it is, but what I can tell you is that when you play Street Fighter or any game, sometimes when you go to do something, it just doesn't do what you wanted it to do. By this I mean that if you push up in Street Fighter, you will usually jump, but sometimes it will be a punch, or sometimes the punch will be forward, or sometimes forward will be up. It's incredibly maddening because you just can't play anything correctly! So I personally think that anything that is an arcade game on this system is completely unplayable, whether it's a

classic

Capcom game or anything from "NEO NGO".

So let's focus on GBA. Now, when you think of Game Boy Advance, what is the first character that comes to mind? I-is it Crash Bandicoot? Well, I hope so, because that's the character that's at the top of the menu here. But the really fun thing is that the image they used is from Crash Bandicoot: N. Sane Trilogy, the new 2017 release! That means that this system must have come out some time after the release of this game, proving that this system was originally released to copy the SNES Classic. As if you didn't already know! But how about those Game Boy Advance games, eh?

How do they behave here? Well, as bad as you can imagine! Yes, the emulation is imperfect, yes, the games run slow, yes, there are a ton of graphical inconsistencies that make your mind melt. But it's the controls (again!) that seem to really be the most offensive part. I would have expected some of the input issues to have been limited to just the arcade games, but they seem to carry over to the Game Boy Advance. This tells me that this is not an emulation issue, but could be an issue with the drivers themselves. Now, whether it's the drivers or the actual system, well, I really don't know.

But what I can tell you is that most of the games here are not worth playing (at least the ones that turn on) because of all the problems involved. Next on the chopping block is SNES/PS1. That's right, they put them both in the exact same library. I have no idea why, but let's look at the SNES games first. Well, Donkey Kong Country 2 is one of the best Super Nintendo games, and on this system it seems to run pretty close visually. But a new problem has arisen: now the input latency is gone, but now you have a problem with the combination button.

What I mean by this is that, let's say you hold down a certain button to run and then press another button at the same time to jump, well, if you do that with this controller, it just does something wildly different. For example, in this game, if you try to run and jump at the same time, you just jump up or back. No joke, it makes a platformer where you run from LEFT to RIGHT pretty impossible. But the fun thing about running any Super Nintendo game on this console is that they all have very different problems. Now, everyone seems to carry with them the problem of entering the combination button, which is VERY fun, but many other problems arise, such as Toy Story speeding up and down.

Just look at this! Why does that happen? Or even this? This is Metal Warriors, which seems to run quite well when you enter the game, although it also has a speed that increases and decreases, but check out the opening introduction of the Konami logo! It looks like someone slammed his face into a piano! But nothing, and I mean nothing, is as bad as the way Super Mario RPG runs on this system. Just... just watch. Speed ​​problems, control problems and sound problems and visual problems! Everything that could go wrong, does go wrong in this game. And like all the Super Nintendo games you'll play on this system, nothing seems to work correctly.

Which is amazing, considering it's supposed to be a copy of the SNES Classic! Fine, but maybe it's just the fact that it's a Super Nintendo and seems to require a bit more processor than something like, say, a Sega Genesis. Attractive! They have Sega Genesis games here! That... image there, however, is not from a SegaReal Genesis——it's actually a knockoff clone—but whatever, let's not get into that! Let's see how the games run. Alright, let's try the cult

classic

Alien Soldier. Now, if you were to play this on a real Sega Genesis, it would sound and look like this: But how does it work on this system?

Well, take a look. Mm-mm-mm! That sounds terrible and looks bad too! But not only is this a problem in terms of visual and audio representation, it also has a problem with the way you control the games. Because... For a game like this where you move from left to right, the controls here seem to be WORSE than those on the Super Nintendo! We physically couldn't jump this box! No matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't do it. Virtually every Sega Genesis game you dare play on this system will break in one way or another. And even if you try to make your way through the experience, you'll come across games... that are in Russian.

If you know how to read Russian, that's fine. But nowhere on the box does it say that you need to have knowledge of that language, because I sure don't! And even if you look past all that and still think you can make your way to playing these games, you'll come across a couple of titles that don't work at all. Now they do start, but sometimes something goes completely wrong. This is Batman and Robin, which usually looks like this when you play it on a real Sega Genesis. Beautiful background effects, don't you think? But now look at it here!

THE ENTIRE background is GONE! There are things happening in the game, including platforms you can jump on that you just can't see. So without that, it's basically impossible to play this game unless you've played it before and memorized where everything is. But who the hell would do that?! The game runs drastically slower than the original! How is that happening?! There is no background! The system is not processing any of the things the Genesis would have processed faster! How is this happening?! How is that possible?! Clearly the games don't run well on this system. I think you all already know that.

But let's avoid the games we do know and get into some very strange titles included in this system, like Sega Genesis, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. This is just a Mick & Mack trick, you can clearly tell because, well, listen to the opening theme of this game. BICRUSHED BOY'S VOICE: Great! SHANE: Yeah, that totally sounds like music you'd hear in the Harry Potter universe! Look, this game isn't very good and I don't know if it's because it's a hack or because it runs on this system. Whatever it is, it shouldn't be reproduced. And oddly enough, it's not even the only Harry Potter game here.

There's also this other one who... Ouch, I don't even know what's going on here. At least the first one could BE a Harry Potter game (although that character looked nothing like Harry Potter), this one is clearly some sort of puzzle collecting marathon, and I played it for a long time. Time to try and get over it, this one is really bad, folks. And that brings us to the last section here: Famicom. Basically these are just NES games. All the games here are bad in every way you can imagine because of all the emulation problems we've already shown you.

And since all the controls are also bad, you can't play anything. It's really funny to see so many Famicom games run so poorly on this hardware, but you'd expect it by now. And I think that concludes the console and j... Hmm. Well, I think we forgot something, right? Oh! Oh, it's true! Look in the middle of the menu, it says SNES/PS1! We haven't seen any PS1 games yet! Well... let's see what this has to offer. Right at the top of the SNES game selection list you'll find a folder called PS1, and when you open it... ...you get two games.

Just two. But that doesn't matter, right? Every other console seems to have a billion games on this system, and none of them seem to run well; If there are only two PlayStation 1 games, there's a good chance that maybe, just maybe, they'll work perfectly. NO! I made a mistake. These are bad. These are very very bad. They are not working as they should. The first one here is Last Blade and, well, it's not really doing that well. In fact, you can tell how bad he is running by looking at the shadows beneath his feet. And all the problems we've had with the controls in all the other games?

The same here. So this cannot be reproduced. Okay, that was pretty disappointing, but how bad could the second game be, right? Well, the second game is Romance of the Three Kingdoms VII. Now, this game originally came out in North America, on the PlayStation 2. On the original PlayStation there was only one Japanese release, which means this game is... Yes! Completely in Japanese! And because there are tons and tons of menus you have to go through, unless you understand Japanese, you won't be able to play it. But even if it could, I highly doubt the game would work that well to begin with.

Heh heh... okay, let me get this straight: one of the games on the PlayStation list is actually a Neo Geo original, so they could have had the Neo Geo version here (although it still wouldn't have run) . well), and the other is a game for which you need to understand Japanese. Hmmh, those are some very questionable choices, but... but I think... I think... if I had ended up here, I—I might have been fine, I think I might have kept some sanity, but actually there are two others. hidden PlayStation games were lost in the list of SNES titles.

And I found them, and they are by far the WORST games on the entire system. The two PlayStation games we just looked at (you know, the ones they're actually proud to show you) don't actually have 3D graphics. They are 2D based games with 2D sprites, maybe some rescaling is done here or there, but they don't use 3D models. Now, that's a little strange, right? If you were going to include some PlayStation 1 games, wouldn't you include one that actually... made use of 3D models or something? Well, they have one! Hidden! It's called Soul Edge, but why didn't they put it in the PS1 trash at the top of the list?

Call me crazy, but this right here could be the reason. WHAT FRAME IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?! That's like 1 frame per second? IF the game ran THAT badly, why would you keep it included in the system? Clearly—CLEARLY!—you must have turned this on, there are ONLY ONE FIST of PlayStation games, you selected this! You chose this! You must have noticed something was wrong with the game! The moment you enter any command, it takes a FULL SECOND to see it happen on the screen! This is beyond embarrassing, folks. They stole this game; They could have taken any game that could have worked better, but they didn't.

They took this one and thought it was decent enough to show off on their console. And it could have ended there. I could have left this system alone and not looked for any more PlayStation games, but I was so sure there was one more left and I found one, the last game on this entire system, and ohh, I have no idea. What to make of this, it's a game I've never heard of before, but it will soon be etched in your memories just as it is in mine. At first I thought someone was playing a joke on me.

If you go to Wikipedia, you won't find an entry for this game. Maybe after this video comes out, someone will write one, but at the time of recording this video, it didn't exist. This game is called Ugetsu Kitan, it was created in 1996 by Tonkinhouse and Will. You may not be familiar with those companies, but I assure you they exist. The game starts with a video sequence where you see some kind of ball with pictures on it, then it turns into the moon, then it starts raining, and suddenly, Gyaah! There you go! A strange girl with white eyes!

Uhh, the mirror you're looking at breaks, then the character you're playing, who I assume is in a hospital, runs to the top floor of the hospital and jumps off the edge, and then finds his way in front of some strange looking tent . Once the video sequence is over, the game begins right there, in front of that tent. Now this game is kind of a point and click action adventure where you can look around, talk to people and stuff like that, but again, it's all in Japanese so I have no idea what it's all about. is happening.

You click around a bit and finally find yourself in a bamboo forest that is completely shrouded in darkness. Now, in this area, you keep walking endlessly, but from time to time, things like this happen! Uh—EUUHH, what is that?! I have NO idea what's going on, and there are TONS of weird, creepy characters in this bamboo place and they're all so weird! Sometimes you will find yourself in some strange situation with REALLY creepy images everywhere, but you will always find yourself back in the bamboo forest! But since I can't understand what's going on, I have no idea how to escape from this place!

And maybe this game is working really well, but I have no idea because I've never seen it before! So my only question is...why would they include this in the system? Th-this... there's no reason, maybe some people knew about Soul Edge and the other games, but this wasn't a popular game as far as I know, to the point that no one has really talked about it. . This is creepy and weird and I never want to play this console EVER AGAIN. Both classic Nintendo systems have been on the market for a while and we haven't really heard anything about the Nintendo 64 launching, so I'll have to assume we won't see either of them.

Those will be knockoff systems in the short term, but until that happens, systems like this will likely continue to hit the market, terrible systems that try to emulate what the NES and SNES Classic are, and fail. If you ever see one of these in the wild, be sure to avoid it. And never, EVER buy these if you think you're going to get a bargain. Beacause you are not.