What's Your Type? | Jean Kummerow | TEDxGrinnellCollege

Translator: Leonardo Silva Reviewer: Mile Živković Today I am going to talk to you about something that we all do. We categorize everything that comes our way, including people, and sometimes we do it in an unflattering way. My favorite quote about categorizing people comes from comedian George Carlin. He said there are three

type

s of people: those who know how to count and those who don't. (Laughs) I'm glad you understood that. (laughs) Well, I want to talk about a positive way to categorize people. It's called a personality

type

and it's based on something called the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or MBTI Assessment.

I'm just going to be able to give you a little bit of that framework. There is much more than I am going to cover today. So

what

it comes down to is how you prefer to gain energy, gather information, make decisions, and live

your

life. Now this word "preference" is something really important in this system. So I just want to do a quick demonstration of

what

preemption is. So, let's say you're very skeptical about the personality type and you cross

your

arms and maybe even tap your foot. Try it with me, if you want, okay? Now, you probably didn't even think, "Which arm do I put on top?" You have a natural preference for the way you cross your arms.

Then, try to cross them to the other side. You can do it easily. It doesn't feel so natural. And we're going to talk about personality preferences within ourselves, and they're really natural habits, natural mental habits that you have, about the ways that you would like to think or do or act. Now, I think it's useful to know about personality type for two reasons. One is that it can help you understand that the other person isn't actually trying to drive you crazy on purpose. They simply see the world in a different way than you. And the second reason is that it can help you understand more about yourself, about the things that come easier to you, things that may take a little longer, that may be a little more difficult, so that you can forgive yourself. same when you are not perfect.

But that doesn't exempt you from trying. So let's start with this framework. When I was a child, I thought that family unity was everyone being in the same room reading a book. I am an extrovert, I grew up in a family of introverts. My mother thought my siblings needed to go to daycare and I didn't. It probably should have been the other way around. They needed their quiet time and I would have had fun with those other kids. I can assure you that we are all fine today. (Laughing) So this is the first one we call a preference pair, and it has to do with where we direct and receive our energy.

There is an extroverted way and an introverted way. Now, these are not social skills. There may be people who prefer extroversion and people who prefer introversion and who are shy. It's about energy. So extroverts want their energy to go off, and when it goes off, they're with people, they're doing things, and that energy comes back to them. And introverts want their energy to come in. By observing ideas, impressions and facts inside your head, you create more energy. Now, I need to make a brief comment on this idea of ​​preference pairs. We believe you have both within you.

It's just that you prefer one over the other. It doesn't really guarantee that you'll be good at it just because you prefer something. You may need to develop skills with it and, while you're at it, develop skills with the other preference. That will be helpful because there are times when you need to flex and act in a different way. If you do everything according to your preferences, it won't always work. So when we look at extroversion and introversion and how they show up in meetings, it's an interesting thing. Therefore, extroverts in a meeting are more likely to express their ideas.

If I bring it out into the light, it becomes real, and I can start again here and end here, because I have made it real as I speak it. Now, the introvert listening to the extrovert may be thinking, "If they would just shut up, we'd get somewhere." Well, they don't understand that extroversion is about bringing it out. So our introverts are taking things in during that meeting, they're reflecting on them, and our extrovert looking at them is probably saying, "Are you awake? Are you listening to me?" And we assume they are because they're working it out inside.

Silences for extroverts are spaces that must be filled. Silences for introverts are a space that must be valued. When we think about interruptions, there's also a different way people can look at it. Interruptions for extroverts can actually be compliments: "Wow, someone heard what I said! They want to chime in, you know, develop my idea." It's a compliment. But to an introvert, that same interruption can be rude: "I've thought about it inside, I'm getting my ideas out there, you're interrupting me. I need to stop and think, 'Is this new information or is this new information?' Is it pure dribbling?', and then I'll continue with my talk." Introverts, by the way, once they know people and topics well, will act like extroverts because they have done their inner work.

We say that if you want to know what an extrovert thinks, you haven't been listening. If you want to know what an introvert thinks, you haven't asked. Now I want to move on to the next thing, which is how we collect data and the type of information we like and trust. The preference pairs here are sensation and intuition. Now, I prefer to feel. I like things to be practical, current, real. I really want to get to the here and now of what's happening. Now, on the other hand, intuitive types like possibilities, meanings, big picture, and I want to show you a picture that addresses some of these differences.

So if we look at this particular image with a sensor lens, we can see pillars, trees, yellow flowers, there is an umbrella there, etc. If we look at this image from an intuitive point of view, we could see an ancient lost civilization, where wild creatures live, or a ballet of dancing trees. Now, we both look at the same image. So I use this in a community leadership program and we gather people into sensory groups and intuitive groups and ask them to look at this image and talk about it. We once had a civil engineer who pointed - he was in the detection group - he pointed to the intuitive group and said, "Hum, I always thought they were liars.

I would go to a community meeting and present my facts. I saw them a couple of days later and they said I said things I know I didn't say. Our memories are fine. So now I know I need to sit down with them and figure out how they got my data from what they're interpreting." So it is very important that they can miss each other. You're seeing the same image, but you're seeing different things. If we look at well-known figures, we can also start to think about what lens they see the world through. So, let's take Thomas Edison.

He's the guy who invented the light bulb, remember, putting in all those little filaments and going through hundreds of them, probably. He is known to have said, "it's 99% perspiration." He probably saw the world through a sensory lens. Now if we look at Albert Einstein, with his theory of relativity, he said, "Not everything that counts can be counted." He probably sees the world through an intuitive lens. Now, once you have the information, you need to figure out what to do with it, and that brings us to the third pair of preferences: thinking and feeling. Now I know I'm the thinking type.

I look at the world in a logical way. People come to me with a problem, I want to get to the bottom of it and help them solve it now. But I realized that there are some people who, when they come to me, just want me to stop, listen, and support them. Well, I learned that I need to take a step back and ask people, at least I remember it sometimes: "Do you want me to just listen to you or do you want me to help you solve the problem?", because then I don't get as angry if they don't follow through. my advice.

So in this decision-making system, the thinking types move away from the decision. They look at the data they have, the information they have, objectively. They look at the pros, they look at the cons, they make their decision. But the types of feelings come into play in the decision. They realize, "How will this affect people? How does this fit with my value system?" and seek harmony with their value system. You've probably already discovered here that feeling does not mean making decisions based on emotions. There is a structured way to use values ​​and harmony. So if we think about the definition of being fair, we can see a few different things.

For thinking people, being fair means treating everyone according to the same standards or treating people equally. For feeling types, being fair means treating everyone according to what they need; Individuals are different, they need different things. Now I want to do another little experiment with you that I sometimes do with my training groups and let's say you are working on a project. This hand represents completing the project. This hand represents that I am starting, I am halfway there, and I am done. That's why I usually ask thoughtful people, "Tell me when you want someone to appreciate you or recognize your work on that project." And my hand will move and finally, when I get to the end, they've finished the project, they'll say, "Now." And I ask them, "So what if someone gives you some recognition earlier in that job?" And they say, "Well, I'm a little worried.

I think I'm working for an idiot. They have no sense of standards or what a good job is." Now, I ask sentient guys the same thing: "When do you want that project recognized?" and they shout, "Now, now, now, now, now." (Laughs) Until the end. "So what does that look like?" I'm the thinking type, I'm waiting until I'm done. They say, "Well, it can be things like, 'Good start!' Do you want some recognition if they wait until the end? And they say, "Well, I guess they don't care, and if they don't care about me, they don't care about my job and that affects my morale." of feeling can come to exactly the same conclusions.

They just do it in different ways. And it's really helpful for thinking types to always remember to ask, "How would this logically affect people?", and for feeling types to always ask, " What's most important here?" But we have to move on. The last one has to do with how we like to live our lives. And our words are "judge" and "perceive" in this pair of preferences, and "judge" It doesn't mean "judging" here. But what those who judge like to do is organize things, make decisions, move on, and those who perceive like to go with the flow, be spontaneous and continue gathering information.

I admit, I'm the judging type, I love making lists, I love crossing things off the list and I've even been known to put things on the list that I've already done for the simple joy of checking them off. (Laughs) True confessions. Well. Now it turns out that I live with a man who prefers to perceive. He thinks I'm crazy. His life is about choices, it's about going with the flow. So, you can imagine what happens when we go to a Chinese restaurant: I'm making my decisions - you know, judging is about "Let's make a decision and move on" - and he's looking at the menu, looking at what other people have, trying to decide what he's going to have, that might be new and different, and I'm getting hungry.

But, for the perceiving types, it's not a decision ahead of time. Therefore, judging types will often use words ending in "ed": "I finished that," "I completed that," I have decided that," and perceiving types will often speak with "ing" words: "I'm finishing that", "I'm completing that", "I'm deciding that". So if we look at what a plan is, the judging guys will often say, "A plan is a systematic way of achieving a goal", and Perceptive types will say, "Plans are options." Now, I also have a little activity that I like to do with people, and that is that I will ask them to think about the next day off, the next day they have free, okay?

And I usually get the judge types started and I want to know how many plans they have for that day off. So, I start giving them numbers and as we get to higher and higher numbers, Those Who Judge look more and more proud. They just love it. Now when I do the same with the perceivers, they raise their hands and I can see them getting more and more embarrassed as the number increases. I will often shout, "But those aren't my plans." Someone invented them for me." So, you can both have wonderful days off, and in fact, sometimes I have plans to judge, people coming to me and saying, "You know, I must be the perceptive type because on my next day free I plan to do nothing." You heard the word "plan." (Laughter) So, it's about how you live your life.

All of this comes together in a magical way. So, we have four preferences. We have how you gain energy (extroversion, introversion), how information is gathered (sensing, intuition), how decisions are made (thinking or feeling), and how life is lived.judging or perceiving So there are 16 unique types possible within this. Now we use an abbreviation for this. .You've probably already figured it out. The only trick is that we have to use an "N" for "intuition" because we have already used the "I" for "introversion." Now, of these types, when they come together in that single chemical reaction, we say that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts.

Now, my particular type happens to be ESTJ: I am extroverted, I feel, I think and I judge. You've heard a lot about my type. I am also very responsible: you give me something to do and I will see it through to the end. That's how I got into Myers-Briggs. One day I walked into my manager's office and he said, "Jean, everyone in this office is going to become an expert at something. Yours will be Myers-Briggs." "Yes, sir" – I said. Then I can live my type. I can write practical materials for people. I can train people how to play this instrument.

I can use who I am. But I want to tell you a story about someone who didn't get to use who he was. I mentioned that I do some training programs, and as part of that training, I would usually find someone in the training class who wasn't so sure of her type, but who was reasonably verbal and seemed to get her act together. So, this was in Dallas, Texas, a long time ago, and we were going through this performance in a very nice way, everything was going very well. And all of a sudden we got close to the end and this woman said, "I stopped using my 'F' and 'J' two years ago." Now, for those of you who don't remember, "F" stands for "feel," making decisions based on harmony with your value system, and "J" stands for "judging," making a decision and moving forward. .

So I did my good psychologist nod, my good psychologist pause, and the brilliant statement: "Tell me more. (Laughter) Context does everything here." Then she said, "Well, you have to understand that my faith is very important to me. I belong to an evangelical church. I work for that church, I believe in its teachings, but my husband came out as gay two years ago." "We have children together. He is a good man, but my church says this is wrong." Her values ​​had been clashing. She was stuck, she didn't know what to do. But suddenly, with her personality type, she had a framework to understand what was happening to her and, at that very moment, she started to move forward.

Well, I didn't know that, about 20 years later, the same thing would happen to me. My husband came out as gay. It was hard, but I'm an ESTJ. I need to move on, I just need to. So, with the help of wonderful friends and a great family, who gave me love, support and advice, I was able to move forward. As writer Garrison Keillor says, "When bad things happen to writers, it's all just material." And I would like to add, as a psychologist, that when bad things happen to psychologists, it is just a way to generate empathy. So personality type has been a big help to me in understanding myself and others so I can be more respectful of both, but I remember those are just preferences.

I can act in other ways when I need to. Then, I will ask you to help me demonstrate his preferences one last time. And that's what I want you to applaud and just freeze them, if you want. So, clap your hands and freeze. Well. Now, you probably didn't even realize that you have a way of clapping, you have a preference for that. So, I want you to practice, as hard as you can, backwards. It's a cheap way to get applause. Thank you. (Laughter) (Applause)