Weekend Update: Colin Jost and Michael Che Swap Jokes for Season 49 Finale - SNL

WELL, TONIGHT IS OUR SEASON FINALE. YES. AND WE HAVE A TRADITION WHERE CHE AND I GIVE EACH OTHER SPROUTS TO REACH. YES, WE MAKE US READ LIVE ON AIR JOKES THAT THE OTHER PERSON HAS NEVER SEEN BEFORE. THAT'S CORRECT. WE ARE NOT APPLAVING YET. THE IDEA IS OF COURSE TO GIVE FUNNY PRANKS. ALMOST SUPPORTIVE JOKES THAT WOULD NEVER RUIN OUR SUMMER OR OUR CAREER. YES. BEFORE WE START, THE LAST TIME WE DID THIS I HIRED AN ACTRESS TO PRETEND TO BE A CIVIL RIGHTS HERO. AND THAT WAS LOW. SO TO MAKE IT UP FOR IT THIS TIME I INVITED A REAL PRACTICING RABBI.

PLEASE WELCOME RABBI JILL. GO ON, COLIN. WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE FIRST JOKE? I AM AS EXCITED AS ALL OF YOU. PRO-PALESTINIAN PROTESTERS LEAVE JERRY SEINFELD'S GRADUATION SPEECH AT DUKE UNIVERSITY. AND I THINK IT'S SHAMEFUL. DURING THESE DIFFICULT TIMES IT IS IMPORTANT TO SUPPORT OUR JEWISH FRIENDS. THAT'S WHY THE ONLY CHANT YOU'LL HEAR FROM ME IS "FREE WEINSTEIN." KEEP FIGHTING, HARVEY. AM I RIGHT, BUBBLE? I THOUGHT YOU DID SO WELL. I WOULD NOT HAVE SAID THAT. POPE FRANCIS SAID THIS WEEK THAT SEXUAL PLEASURE IS A GIFT FROM GOD. UNFORTUNATELY, IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO THE QUESTION SHOULD THE CHURCH STILL HAVE ALTAR BOYS?

TALKING ABOUT CHILDREN, NEW DATA SHOWS HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS HAVE ONLY RECOVERED ONE-THIRD OF THE MATH SKILLS THEY LOST DURING THE PANDEMIC. THEIR MATH WAS SO BAD THEY DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHEN I SENT THEM A MESSAGE YOU PLUS ME EQUALS 69. COLIN. WOW! WELL. HEY, YOU PUT IT IN TEXT. TALK -- OH GOD. CHATGPT HAS LAUNCHED A NEW VOICE ASSISTANT FEATURE INSPIRED BY SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AI CHARACTER IN "HER." WHICH I HAVE NEVER BOTHERED TO SEE. BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT BODY WHAT IS THE POINT OF LISTENING? YOU HAVE A LITTLE MORE THERE. SO RABBI JILL, IF YOU'RE HERE, WHO CONTROLS THE WEATHER?

I don't even understand that joke, COLIN. SEVERAL WOMEN HAVE POSTED VIDEOS ON TIKTOK CLAIMING THAT WHILE WALKING THROUGH THE STREETS OF NEW YORK THEY WERE HIT AT RANDOM BY MEN. Well then damn it, get out of my way, bitch. AND SPEAKING OF BITCHES, I WANT TO CALL THE BIGGEST BITCH OF THEM ALL, KENDRICK LAMAR. OR SHOULD I SAY LITTLE. YOUR WAR WITH DRAKE MAY BE OVER, BUT YOUR WAR WITH MICHAEL CHE IS ONLY BEGINNING. SO QUOTE HAMILTON, SHOOT YOUR SHOT, PLAYER. THIS IS VERY WELL DONE, MAN. WELL. I DON'T LIKE IT EVEN A BIT. WELL, THIS NEXT JOKE MIGHT BE TOO OFFENSIVE FOR ME TO TELL.

SO RABBI JILL, WOULD YOU BE A MENSCH AND HELP ME? HOW? WOULD YOU GIVE ME THAT PUPPET? COLIN, DON'T USE THE PUPPET. OH MY GOD. COMCAST, NBC'S OWNERS, WAS REPORTED TO TELL MSNBC TO STOP ITS CRITICISM OF ISRAEL. AND IF THEY DON'T, WE WILL HIT THEM WITH OUR SPACE LASERS. OH, NO. RABBI. RABBI? FOR "WEEKEND UPDATE" - FOR "GOOD NIGHT"