Confused Trump Promises to "Deport" Americans; Biden Faces Protest Vote Over Gaza: A Closer Look

-Donald Trump held campaign events in Wisconsin and Michigan on Tuesday, where he and his supporters once again attempted to rewrite history by claiming that Americans were better off when Trump was president. Meanwhile, President Biden faced another major

protest

vote

over his handling of the war in Gaza. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." Donald Trump has no discernible political agenda. The average

vote

r would be hard-pressed to identify a single thing he would do as president to improve life on anything from jobs to health care. Even his position on immigration is incoherent. -Donald Trump is back on the campaign trail tonight, trying to rally support in two critical states he lost in 2020: Michigan and Wisconsin. -So far, all he has done is redouble his anti-immigration rhetoric and promise to expand these hardline policies. -If your constitutional rights have been violated, we will defend you.

If you have illegal aliens invading your home, we will

deport

you. -Wait. If illegal aliens are invading my home, will I be

deport

ed? So they keep my house? Do they also receive my program? It wouldn't be the first time an immigrant came here and stole one of our late night talk shows. Yeah. "Last Week Tonight? That doesn't even make sense. Speak English, man. And then what happens to me? Where do they deport me to? Can I at least choose the country? Ooh, can it be a country where I Ya I'm very good with the accent so I can blend in with the locals, like in Australia?

I'm as Australian as a dingo drinking a Foster's and playing a didgeridoo Trump doesn't want to fix immigration he wants to scare people, as he shows. the way he torpedoed a bipartisan border compromise while his aides draw up plans for mass deportations, raids and detention camps There is only one policy that seems absolutely clear: When I win, you will get tax cuts and get a new boom. Trump's economy. And that's where we were headed. Were we heading towards an economic boom when you left office? It didn't happen, like a Bill Cosby biography that ends in 2014. I can't believe I have to say this, but COVID happened. and it was bad.

The economy collapsed and people were locked in their homes. I did this show in an attic, and I remember, because it's still my attic, saying to my kids, "Hey, remember when Dad did a show in there?" And they say, "Oh, we thought you were just out drinking." And I say, "I went there for my job, not to drink." And they say, "We thought your job was to drink." And I said, "On what basis?" And they said, "Rihanna, Dua Lipa and Kelly Clarkson." I said, "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah." "Yes, that's fair." Trump and his bullies do this at all his rallies or in his softball interviews on Fox News.

They try to mentally trick everyone into thinking that the year 2020 never happened. Here's Arkansas Governor and former Trump Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Fox, acting like none of that happened. -This is a very clear contrast. There is one person who was president who had a tremendous and successful record, and another who has a record of complete disaster. -I can't believe I'm saying this, but I agree with Sarah Huckabee Sanders. We definitely had one of each of those presidents, you know? Unemployment has been at its lowest point in half a century, under Joe Biden. Manufacturing jobs are coming back, prescription drugs are cheaper, and billions in student loan debt have been eliminated.

While Donald Trump deliberately undermined the COVID response, tanked the economy, oversaw a massive spike in crime, and forced us all to stay cooped up in our homes while we watched "Tiger King" on loop and used Pottery Barn catalogs as toilet paper . But clearly that's what Sanders was talking about. Look, bipartisan compromise is possible. When we put aside our blinders and

look

directly at the facts, we can come together and truly understand each other. Oh, she wasn't done talking, was she? -President Trump is winning because the contrast is clear. -Guys, you have to show me the clip before the show!

If you think things were better under Trump, you're crazy. Plus, you probably had a big pandemic. He strikes me as the kind of guy who always has two generators and a bunker full of toilet paper, ready to go. The thing is, life was clearly worse under Trump, but he and his allies think they can pretend everything was fine. Sometimes they do it by conveniently changing the deadline. Normally, a presidential candidate will ask you if he is better off than he was four years ago. But last night Trump tried this little rhetorical trick. -Three years ago we were a great nation and soon we will be again. -Yes, if only we could have whoever was president three years ago. "Three years ago, we were, uh, we were, uh..." "We were all... we were all so happy three years ago.

I can't remember the details of why, but it felt like a darkness had been lifted. " Three years ago it was April 2021, right? Joe Biden was in the White House. You were moping about your swamp castle full of plastic surgeons and their third wives,

look

ing paler than the boxes of classified documents you kept in your bathroom. Even Trump knows that he can't say we were better off four years ago, so he tries to change it to three years ago, but the numbers don't work. He's like a kid in remedial math who gets the answer wrong just so he can spell fun words on his calculator.

Okay, Donald, what's 2024 minus three? "Alright, let's see here. 5-3-1-8-0-0-8. You won't believe this. I'm getting 'boobies' again." "I guess I have one of those beautiful minds." Even Trump and his gang of weirdos know that four years ago things were clearly worse than now. And yet, Joe Biden can't seem to pull away from Trump in the polls, thanks in part to frustration among Biden's own voters over his handling of the war in Gaza. Tens of thousands of Democratic voters have gone to the polls in the primaries to send Biden the message that they want him to change course. -In the key battleground of Wisconsin, more than 47,000 Democratic voters voted "Uneducated" as part of the movement to

protest

the president's handling of the war in Gaza.

Organizers doubled their goal of 20,000 votes, which was Biden's margin of victory over Trump in that state four years ago. -It's primary day in New York state and thousands of registered Democrats are believed to have left their ballots blank in protest of President Biden's handling of the war between Israel and Hamas. This protest voting movement began in Michigan this year, with more than 100,000 Democratic voters checking the Uncommitted box instead of voting for Biden. New York state does not allow unpledged votes in primaries or write-in options, so a campaign that encourages voters to submit blank ballots is gaining traction. -Do you know how angry someone must be to leave their house, go to their local polling station and wait in line just to present a blank ballot?

That's like driving to the nearest Apple Store, standing in line all day to buy the new Vision Pro, and then when you get to the counter screaming, "I don't want these! I think they look stupid." By the way, I want to say that I agree. Have you ever seen some idiot wearing one of these on the subway? They look like a French mime with a snorkel mask. Except when they do this, it is not an invisible wall. They are playing Wordle. And by the way, the weather has been miserable in New York City this week. Yesterday I got soaked on the way to the train, after a rat stole my umbrella.

Yesterday I saw a guy stabbing one of those disgusting street puddles when he was going to the train. He just sank to the bottom. Can we look at that photo again? I feel like that guy has smiling eyes. I feel like that guy whose fetish is sinking in a puddle on the street. I feel like if we went to the charts right now and thought, "Show me the whole head," that guy would be like that. Also, can we go back to it one more time? I feel like he should have been on a sidewalk where maybe there would be a bigger pot...

Where? So that's just a hole in New York City. Also, why isn't it blurry and everyone in the background? I don't think that really happened. I think I found myself in a lie. And yet, voters went to the polls to submit blank ballots. It is understandable that they are upset. Biden continues to claim that he is frustrated with Netanyahu's handling of the war, while he sends more weapons to support that war, against the wishes of most Americans. In February, Biden said he hoped to see a ceasefire within days. And I remember him saying that, because despite my best efforts, I was standing there.

That ceasefire did not occur. And when Biden was asked again a few days after that, he said there wasn't much he could do. But what do you mean you're hopeful? You are the most powerful man in the world and you talk about it as if you were the manager of the New York Mets. I mean, I hope... I hope we win some games. But, you know, if it keeps raining, we might not lose as many. You are the president. You can simply say: "No more funding, no more weapons." You call for a ceasefire. That's what most Americans want, including the tens of thousands of Democrats who are registering protest votes in key battleground states.

Thousands of Israelis also took to the streets this week to protest Netanyahu's government and call for a ceasefire agreement to free the hostages. As we have said before in the program, there must be an immediate and lasting ceasefire and the safe return of all hostages. That is the message loud and clear from these protest votes, and Biden must listen. Otherwise, he risks losing to someone whose presidency was a... -... complete disaster. This has been "A Closer Look." Hey, I hope you enjoyed "A Closer Look." And if you didn't, why are you still watching? Why would you stay in this part?

Anyway, did you know we also have something in our program called "Corrections"? We filmed it right after the audience leaves on Thursday, and right after our cameraman, Buck, fills up an entire tank of nitrous. It's full of inside jokes like that, which you wouldn't be able to understand unless you go back to the beginning. That's how it is. I'm not telling you to watch "Corrections" starting today. I'm telling you to go back and watch from episode one. If you miss even one, it's all... Right now it's easily over 20 hours. She was nominated for an Emmy in 2021, in 2022 and never again.

So the arrow points down. "Corrections": published every Friday. Check it out. And one more thing. I wrote a podcast with my brother! Oh!