Jail Scene - SNL

ALL RIGHT, 6117, YOU HAVE FIVE MINUTES. CARLA JEAN, GOD, IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOUR FACE. I MISS YOU TOO, WILLY. LOOK, I KNOW I MADE A DAMN mess on the outside, but I swear I've changed. I HOPE SO. I'M TIRED OF COMING HERE, WILLY, REALLY. I KNOW, HONEY. LISTEN, WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I'M GOING TO DO YOU GOOD. CAN YOU HEAR ME? I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE LIFE YOU ALWAYS DESERVE. REMEMBER MY WORDS, I WILL SOON LEAVE HERE. NO, HE'S NOT. WHAT WAS THAT? YOU SAY WHAT YOU WANT. THAT'S YOUR CONVERSATION. LISTEN HERE, CARLA JEAN.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT HOUSE ON CHERRY LANE, THE ONE WITH THE WHITE FENCE? WHEN I LEAVE HERE, I'M GOING TO BUY THAT HOUSE. WHY, IN THE CURRENT MARKET? THAT'S FUNNY. SORRY. IS THERE ANY PROBLEM? I THINK YOU WANT ONE. LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS. YOU ALL GET ON MY DAMN NERVES. THIS MAN SAYS HE'S GOING TO BUY A HOUSE. BUY A HOUSE. YOU KNOW, CARLA JEAN, PRISON HAS BEEN GOOD FOR ME. HE LIES. I AM READING A LOT. SAY YOU WANT TO BUY A HOUSE. I'M EVEN GOING TO GET MY GED. I CAN'T BUY A HOUSE AND I'M NOT IN JAIL.

ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT FOR RENT WITH ROOMMATE. I ALWAYS SEE HAIR ON MY BAR OF SOAP, AND NOT ON YOUR HEAD EITHER. YOU WANT TO BUY A HOUSE. I HAD A HOUSE. EX BOYFRIEND LIT ON FIRE. COULD YOU PLEASE? I'M TRYING TO TALK TO MY WIFE. IS THAT YOUR WIFE? ARE THEY STILL MARRIED? LISTEN, BABY. YOU ARE THE ONLY MAN FOR ME, AND NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU ARE HERE, WHETHER IT'S A DAY OR A THOUSAND YEARS, I WILL ALWAYS WAIT FOR YOU. NO, NOT SHE. SORRY. YOU CAN NOT? HEY, I'M NOT HERE. I'M JUST WALLPAPER, OKAY?

BUT SURE A TALL BROTHER LEFT HER. HE'S OUTSIDE WAITING IN THE CAR, WITH THE AIR CONDITIONING UP, PROBABLY WASTING ALL THE DAMN GASOLINE, LISTENING TO CLUB RANDOM, THE BILL MAHER PODCAST. LITTLE WILLY JR. GROWING SO FAST. HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU. NO, IT DOESN'T. LET'S GO. WALLPAPER. BUT THE BOY HAS RED HAIR. YOU DON'T HAVE RED HAIR, HE DOESN'T HAVE RED HAIR. But the tall brother in the car has red hair. SOMEONE'S MATHEMATICS IS NOT MATHEMATICS. THAT KID LOOKS LIKE CHUCKY. YOU KNOW CHUCKY FROM CARPET RATS. NOT CHUCKY KNIFE. Come to think of it, KNIFE CHUCKY ALSO HAS RED HAIR.

EVERY DAMN CHUCKY HAS RED HAIR. GIVE ME ONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE RED HAIR. PROBABLY CHUCK E. CHEESE. WHAT SHE? A RAT WITH A HAT? UNDERNEATH THERE IS PROBABLY SOME RED HAIR. I'M TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOU. I AM NOT YOUR PROBLEM. WHAT I AM IS WALLPAPER. THE ROLE OF WATER. WAIT. CARLA JEAN, LET ME SEE THE PHONE. DO YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME? WHAT'S GOING ON? THIS FOOL HERE TALKING ABOUT HE'S GOING TO BUY A HOUSE. IT'S CALLED MANIFESTING. WHY DO EVIOS FALL OFF? THIS LADY HERE TALKS ABOUT SHE'S GOING TO WAIT FOR HIM BECAUSE SHE BELIEVES HE WILL GET THAT HOUSE.

HOME? HOW YOU ARE GOING TO BUY A HOUSE. THERE WITH DAMN CHUCKY, WITH THE AIR CONDITIONING, LISTENING TO CLUB RAP, YOU KNOW THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT CARS. THEY CAUGHT ME AS SOON AS I PAID ANY OF THAT -- YOU KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO, GET INTO A TIMESHARE. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. GOOD. I guess I'm just going to leave. YES, I WILL GO BACK TO JAIL. KEEP GOING, MAN. TALKING ABOUT ANOTHER RED-HAIRED CHUCKY.