Trump’s Minions Show Up For Moral Support | NYC Rat Summit | Pro Soccer’s Newest Star

Oh dear ones, oh my brothers and sisters, welcome everyone here around the world to The Late Show. I'm your host Steven colar Donald Trump Donald Trump is back in court today the trial is in session and continued today with the defense's cross-examination of the former repairman and the wet sock watching him leave it behind at the laundry party Michael Cohen The team Trump went after Cohen hard in cross-examination trying to portray him as a serial liar for Revenge Michael we have a lot in common seral lying lying about cereal you know, you know, I knew the late great Toucan Sam, they say he followed his nose, you always know, but guess where it led him straight to a windmill.

Windmills kill my friends. His friend Sunny went crazy with pain, they claim they always said. cuco by cooco Puffs but I say that Mr. Tuan Sam and Mr. Cuco were lovers, who knows the truth, all we know for sure is that they will always be part of this complete breakfast. Now I knew that Tan Sam in Miami knew how to use that nose. my friend, to try to

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that Cohen was deeply biased and eager to see Donald Trump punished. Trump's lawyer played a clip from Cohen's podcast in which he celebrated Trump's impeachment. In the clip Cohen reportedly sounded dizzyingly high-pitched and spoke so quickly that if he didn't know better, one would think the tape had been artificially sped up.

I know how it feels. I've been so excited about this whole trial, boy oh boy, what if Trump is convicted, but on the other hand, if we treat this trial as a silly deflection, we risk overlooking what it means about the underlying rot. of our political system as we teeter on the brink of dictatorship we represent the Lollipop Guild the Lollipop Guild the Lollipop Guild and in the name of the Lollipop K the defense now rests as Motivation as motivation for Cohen's revenge. The defense tried to make the case that Cohen felt rejected by Trump, including getting him to confirm that he had a hard time getting tickets to Trump's inauguration in 2017.

Boy, that had to hurt because we all know there were plenty of seats available now. Before the trial this morning, Trump spoke to reporters from the National Echo Reserve complaining about the prosecution, this trial is a scam and it's a disgrace and it shouldn't happen by coincidence. Con and Sham also the Secret Service code names for Eric and Don Jr. We also learn what the defense ordered for lunch today: 14 pizzas, four cheeses, five peppers, peoni, four sausages and pepperoni and one chicken , bacon and ranch. There is still no word on what Trump's lawyers ordered all week.

Trump has been getting

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outside of court from his little uh congressional henchmen, today we saw Florida Rep. Matt Gates seen here pulling off the ultimate idiot. Gates raised the specter of violence today by tweeting a reference to far-right hate group The Proud Boys stepping back and

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ing Mr. President, well, of course, he's stepping back afterwards. all that pizza you don't want in the blast radius Trump also received

moral

support from Congresswoman Lauren Bobbert, that's right, Lauren Bobbert was in the audience, so whoever sat next to her can end their own trial for money this afternoon, uh, things got a little dramatic Cohen had previously testified that after paying Stormy Daniels he called Trump's bodyguard and the prosecution had phone records to back that up, but today Trump's lawyer, Todd Blanch, He noted that the call lasted only 1 minute and 36 seconds, so just a little. longer than sex with Stormmy Blanch said Bland said the sex was stormy for sure Blan said Bland said that 136 wasn't enough time for Cohen to have the discussion about paying the reward Stormy Cohen said it was enough time but Blanch raised her head. voice telling Cohen that was a lie while pointing the pen in his right hand accusingly at Cohen and adding "you can admit it." Cohen responded that no, sir, I cannot.

Ooh, that close was a weak way to try to get a confession, being like a detective. Gather everyone. the room at the end of a murder mystery and saying and the murderer is some volunteer years would really help me anyone who makes me a salad confessions Trump has to finish this trial once and for all he has had a busy summer he has a busy summer ahead I already agreed debate with Joe Biden twice for months, now Trump has been the aggressor mocking Biden to debate him, but yesterday Biden turned the tables of mockery. Donald Trump lost two debates against me in 2020 and had not appeared in the debate since.

He now he's acting. like he wants to debate me again, well make my friend of the day, Trump, you better watch out because, uh, Biden is a biter, his bones may be 80 years old, but those teeth are from adolescence and Joe, you I'm saying it Joe Biden, come on, come on, Joe Biden will gnaw. Trump meat like um who the late great Hannibal Lector thank you sir thank you now once the debates got underway Trump surrogates immediately attacked his legitimacy like tech entrepreneur VI ramawami seen here watching two squirrels do it on a windowsill, ramawami immediately chimed in on Twitter with This calls me cynical, but why is Biden suddenly so willing to debate?

It could be because he is desperate or it could be because he is a trap. Oh, grow up, if Biden really wanted to track Trump, he could just leave a trail of chicken nuggets up a cliff. with a sign that says honey mu

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d underneath, now branches Swami might be skeptical, but South Carolina Senator Tim Scott feels confident that America loves President Trump because he speaks simply, is easy to understand and is clear as a bell that part no that part is actually true when Trump speaks it's as clear as a bell B I've never seen that before a new one that's new it's been another terrible week for the mayor of New York and the guy whose chicken Caesar Rap just told a hilarious joke Eric Adams Yesterday Mayor Adams announced that New York will host its first Rat Summit this fall to prepare.

The city has been hosting Practice Rat Summits on every subway platform for the past 120 years. Adams is convening some of the country's top experts and researchers for the multi-day event and We Know There's Only One Way to Convene Rat Experts Follow Me to the Cave Would you believe I've never had a lesson? Does anyone have a COBRA? They loved me in the sound booth last year. Do not go. Last year Adams also hired a. Rat Zar, I understand the urgency now, but the mayor might want to leave that on the DL. Tourists are going to think that New York is a whole rat city run by rats who feast on other rats, which is totally true, but we also have Time Square and I'm told that Time Square Elmo has been eaten by rats, It's not a big loss.

Now I turned to Sports World yesterday at a major league football game in Philadelphia, the field received an unexpected visitor unless you were expecting a raccoon, Jim, then you find out. to change the point of attack we now have what seems like a once in a lifetime event or at least once in a while a raccoon is found in the field, that's fantastic. I say let raccoons in all sports have articulated thumbs OPP. I want to see them shoot after the raccoon moved for about a minute, they sent a great team of raccoon hunters to try to contain the critter, so even professional pest control is just your dad with a trash can, the children try to scare him and take him to the corner Darlene my flute got the hammer finally thanks to the power of teamwork they were able to stop this raccoon Threat now evading even more the individuals who are trying to capture him there are three or four people around him and still the raccoon continue this is wonderful entertainment at what point do we just root for it?

I almost got to work, come on, raccoon, I almost got to work, you can come out, don't hurt him, they caught him. We have a great

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for you tonight. Bridgerton Pria Jesse is here in addition to the musician. Nora Jones and Mr. David Letterman will be taking the Cold Bear quiz, but when we get back, join us, right?