Picking up Strippers at Whole Foods

What's up guys? It's Ethan and Hila here in Las Vegas. Just relaxing, filming a vlog in this beautiful park. Ethan what? H3H3? - Damn Ryan Jaunzemis! ( ♫ music ♫ ) - Really, dude? Oh really? ( ♫ music ♫ ) - Stop, stop, stop, friend, I can't leave you behind, friend! - Hey - You've got your soaps on, you're slipping! I can't leave you behind, man! - Well, I hear you talking shit, man. PUA (pick up artist), soap makers; What's happening? - Dude, I'm fucking JEALOUS! OK?! It is not obvious? All you pickup artists are putting out all these weird, weird pussies out there.

And I'm not doing shit with my life, daughter! Damn, man! Of course I'm jealous, buddy. - I can teach you, daughter. - Actually? Would you... show me... how to do that? - You could do that. It's fucking aw.... - AAAAww, DUDE, your barbs fucked me up, dude! What the hell?! Have you ever tried wearing them in the clubs? It is dangerous. - They don't like me there. That's why I have to go to Whole Foods, probably (laughs). Oh, that's real. And... is this subtle? (Laughter) Stand up... stand on one foot Well, well! So you can hear us too?

Hila: yes Sick! Alright. Let's go look for them. Uh oh, this is ridiculous shit, man. Hi guys. This is Ryan Jaunzemis. I'm here with Ethan Klein from H3H3 and my boy: Christian S. Valentino; My Partner Let's pick up some hot stripper sluts at Whole Foods Ryan: Here we go Ethan: Ready to fuck, daughter? Ethan: Let's do this shit, dude Ryan: Hot Stripper Bitches Ethan: Let's fuck, dude Oh yeah, very stocked. Ok, so Ryan and I are now on the prowl, looking for the

strippers

. And once we find one of the

strippers

, then we'll be... Uhmmm...

Ryan will be telling me what to do. How do you feel about this girl with the green smoothie, right here to your left? Won't you come in and ask him a quick question? And I'm going to tell you what to say OK No, you have to go Go No doubt it's going to be very difficult not to smile Ok Basically you're going to ask her: You seem like the most normal girl here. What do you think? Chinese food or Mexican food tonight? Ryan: Just a casual conversation. Come here, let's go. You have to breathe, just relax, you know?

We all feel afraid when we talk to beautiful women Look, this girl here Ok Maybe she She seems... Look... interesting What do you think? Ok Ok, what do you think between... um... what do you think is better: red wine or Lambrusco Hello, how are you? Good how are you? Ethan: Basically, looking at... the red wine... Girl: Yeah Ryan: OK, lean against the, um, fence over there Ryan: Lean back real good. You look great Girl: I'd order a sparkling one Ethan: That's a good one Ryan: Do you like red wine or do you like Lambrusco? Girl: this one?

Ethan: Do you like lam... Lambrusco? Girl: Uhmmm, I've never had that Ethan:... that was one time... Ryan: Bend down to his level, do like this Ryan: come on Ryan: What is... Ok, kneel down Ryan: Ok, come back, come back Ryan: High five, that's your first approach, man Ryan: that's..., you're bringing... Ethan: Let's turn around, let's go, let's go to a different hallway Ryan: when... When you pass, walk past her a little bit and then I want you to talk over your shoulder Ethan: Ok Ryan: it's not like you're creepy, Ethan: over your shoulder, like... Ryan: you should be my 2:05 Ethan: like that...

Ryan: Ok, go ahead Ethan: Ok, I'm coming Ethan: Just, don't leave me hanging. Remember to tell me what to say, okay? Ryan: Okay. You look very calm. You look really relaxed Ryan: Just breathe, relax Ryan: Hey, quick question: You look like the most normal girl here Ethan: Hey Ethan: How are you? Ryan: Perfect Ethan: You look like the most normal girl here. Ryan: Lean back. Say: What do you think of Mexican or Chinese food? Girl: I don't know Ethan: What do you think of Mexican food or Chinese food? Girl: Uhm, not really either Ryan: You have an interesting accent, it sounds exotic Ethan: You have, um, an interesting accent, it sounds exotic Girl: Umm, I don't know about that, I grew up in Kansas Ryan: Lean back, shake your hands behind you of your back.

Ethan: You... are you from Kansas? Ryan: Perfect, relax Girl: Yes! (laughs) Ethan: Interesting... Ryan: Relax, you're doing great Ryan: Hey, it was nice meeting you Ethan: Well, it was nice meeting you... Girl: Nice meeting you too Ethan: Have a great day Ryan: Perfect, I'll see you down there. You did great Ethan: Thanks Ryan: How are you feeling inside right now? Ryan: Wait, wait, wait Ryan: Explain it to me like... Ethan: Dude, she wasn't interested at all, dude. She was scared. Ryan: Was she scared? Ethan: She was definitely scared. She was wondering what the fuck was going on, dude Ryan: Oh you gotta chill out a little Ethan: She Said she told me to say she had an accent but it sounded, she said she was from Kansas, dude Ryan: She was from Kansas ?

Ethan: fucking Kansas Ryan: she had no idea Ryan: she didn't look like a typical Kansas girl Ethan: I guess that's true Ryan: How do you feel? Ethan: She was good. I... it was nice talking to the girl Ethan: By the way, why is this music so fucking loud? Ryan: It is, right? Ethan: Can we ask management to turn the music down a little? I'm trying to pick up some strippers. Ryan: Here comes a good set. I think this is it Ethan: OK Ryan: You guys are going as a side man team Christian: Yeah yeah I'm on Ethan: you guys lead, you guys lead Christian: Ok...

Christian: Hey guys. Dinner sounds super random... Christian: ...guys, that's my friend... Ethan: Hey guys Girl 1: Hi, nice to meet you Ethan: You guys okay? Girl 1: Yeah Ethan: Great Ryan: Stop being so fidgety with your fingers, Ethan. Ryan: Put your drink next to you. Just relax, just stay calm, cool and collected Christian: We should definitely hang out. I don't know if mom approves of that, but um Girl: ah, um, what about I approve of that? Yeah, I think "wait, what about me?" Ryan: I can't hear you Ethan: What am I saying? Ryan: I think you're doing great Christian: Well, I had to say something.

I hope you have a great time Girl: Very good, thank you. Ethan: High five Ethan: Nice to meet you Girl: Nice to meet you too Christian: Well, just a little warm up Ethan: That felt really good, man. That was really awesome, buddy Ryan: High five, how did that feel? Ethan: Dude, very good. That high five was everything for Ethan: you didn't tell me what to say. He was counting on you. You didn't tell me what to say. I was standing there. And I looked like a jerk because he was out there like he was pulling a sling...he was like he was getting pussy like crazy;

He says, "Mom, do you mind if I fuck your daughter right here in a parking lot?" And I'm like, "I'm taking mom," I don't know, but I need help from Ryan Ryan left me in the cuts, I didn't know what the fuck to say, daughter Ryan: I thought he did pretty well Ethan: Is this a fucking joke to you, friend? Did you come here like a fool? I mean I paid you $500, you're not giving me good advice HELLO! Do you want to go out sometime? It does not work! Dude, what you did was fucking shit, you left me in trouble.

I'm not, I'm not... What did I pay you $500 for? This is bullshit, man Ryan: What, I was saying smile Ethan: They kicked us out, so it was 15 minutes Ryan:... I was telling you to be... to be polite... Ryan: ...and the conversation Ethan: How much do I need to pay someone to tell me to smile and be polite? Dude give me my money back Ryan: well even though you paid me for my time Ethan: give me my money back dude This is a fucking scam babe Ryan: plus it's advice, doesn't mean it necessarily works Ethan: Your advice is to smile? and stay upright?!

What the hell are you my mom? What the fuck, daughter? Are you going to give me my money back? Ryan: No Ethan: Fuck you, dude! Ryan: ohhh Ryan: I think he did pretty well ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ "Wow, Ethan. Great moves! Keep it up, proud of you." ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬ Song H3H3 ♩ ♪ ♫ ♬