Life is a Game of Bullshit. This is How You Win | Genevieve Gregorich | TEDxColumbiaUniversity

So there was a girl on my high school basketball team, Sadie, who raised crescent bettas in her garage. We'll come back to

this

later, but for now I just need us to agree on something. This is a very strange thing for a high school. girl what to do and I was the only one on the basketball team who knew it. Stie and I were on the varsity team at my high school and I prepared my entire

life

to be a part of that team starting when I was four years old. I practiced almost every time I could.

I even remember when I was little, falling asleep with my sneakers under the covers listening to mental replays of NBA superstar Shaquille O'Neal's dunks, that was the energy I wanted to bring to every

game

and it was all worth it. I made the varsity team as a freshman, but as the youngest player on a team dominated by upperclassmen that quickly became a nightmare, they wanted nothing to do with me and I felt like an outcast from the start. the first day. One day on the bus there and back I overheard two of my Teammates making fun of Satie who is fast asleep in the back of the bus and I immediately saw my chance, it's like you know she raises Half Moon betta fish in his garage, yeah, he paired them up with each other and they thought it was really funny.

They thought it was funny and high school became a lot easier that day because I started trying Gossip currency to preserve my newfound shred of status. I see gossip as a shortcut to popularity and I found other shortcuts like doing math homework at the end of history class. I read Spark Notes instead of the assigned books in my English class. I was always one step ahead because I was good at lying to myself in my

life

. He was also good at the card

game

. Some of you may be familiar. Also called BS. It is a very simple game. a game of deception and today I am going to teach you how to play a full deck of 52 cards is divided equally between the players the objective of

this

game is to get rid of all your cards first and the player with the Ace of Spades starts, they do it by taking that Ace along with any other Aces they have in their hand, placing it face down in the middle of the table proclaiming the number of Aces they are placing, the player on the left must then play two by two and does so. taking any two from her hand and placing them face down in the middle of the table, in this case she would say two out of two, now let's back up, if she didn't have two she would have to bluff, she would do so by taking any of one to four cards from her hand, placing them face down in the middle of the table, pretending that there are now two of them.

If anyone thinks she's lying, they call BS. If he was really lying, he has to take all the cards stacked in the middle. the table and add them to her hand, but if she was telling the truth, the accuser has to take all those cards, so in case you spaced out because I just explained a game during a talk, I'll summarize it as a player in this game I want get rid of all my cards, but I risk picking up extra cards every time I say BS and make a mistake or every time I lie and get caught on the surface, my success in this game depends on how well I lie and how Well, I spot a lot things, but it's worth looking a little closer, while nonsense is universally considered a game of deception.

I don't see it that way at all. I've come to see it more as a treasure hunt while other people try. To get good at lying, my only goal is to search and find the cards I need for future turns to avoid lying entirely, but maintaining consistent, penetrable honesty requires preparation, so let me show you what it looks like. On the left of the table here, the player with the Ace of Spades starts, places that Ace face down and I say BS now, why would anyone lie on the first turn? Well they wouldn't, the player with the real Ace of Spades are starting because they have the Ace of Spades so the Ace of Spades is and when I call BS I know I have to add it to my hand but that's why I see that the Ace is a treasure especially if I don't have an ace in my hand yet because that ace will help me later, why almost every BS game is spread out long enough that each player has to play every card from ace to king at least once , so if I don't have an ace in my hand, that ace will help me later.

I don't play Aces on this first turn. I'll have to play them later and now I'm prepared for that moment. I can do the same with these two, call BS and add them to my hand, but I want to point out that I don't just call. BS recklessly at every turn. I do a lot less later in the game and definitely not when there's a big stack of cards. I don't want mess in my hand. I'm looking for treasures and even though I can't control the hand. I'm in deals. I can greatly improve my results by seeing and taking advantage of more opportunities to fill the holes in my hand, preparing myself to tell the truth.

I have been playing and winning the game for many years this way by not lying. telling the truth more Meanwhile, my strategy for living life was total. I made fun of that girl with STIs on my basketball team just to gain clout and, um, turned to papers hoping my teachers wouldn't realize I hadn't read the material, but honestly. I saw life as a game of deception, a game won through cheap tricks and superficial attempts to create the right appearance, and I'll tell you why I saw it that way too when I started high school, when what I loved most mattered all over the world.

First they took away my world playing time on the basketball court. I was told my defense wasn't good enough, but then I found out that the head coach had problems with my appearance, with my weight, not with my speed, which was well above average. He had made mistaken assumptions about my sexuality, which he communicated to my teammates with insults behind my back, and he wouldn't play with me despite my skills honed by a decade of hard work. Life felt complete. It felt unfair. Unfair. I felt like I was choking. head against this solid brick wall, losing faith that hard work ever pays off and losing trust in people.

I stopped practicing free throws in the morning before school because what was the point? I tried to start figuring out what people liked and what that could be like. and I felt like I won to get my way and get something out of this messed up system, but like my opponents in BS, they saw that it's a game of deception. I was losing in the game of life. I was unsure and anxious, but fast. fast forward fast forward fast forward fast forward to the day I saw DJ Diesel perform live here in New York City and something just clicked DJ Diesel better known as Shaquille O'Neal Shaq one of the greatest NBA players of all the times the guy used to channel into my head as a kid when I stepped foot on a basketball court long after the NBA Shaq took his greatness to other endeavors, becoming a sports analyst, actor, sheriff, even getting his doctorate and then , after falling in love with electronic music festivals because of their Game Seven energy, a reference to the electric atmosphere of an NBA championship, he began creating that same energy in a new setting by releasing hard-hitting bass music like DJ Diesel and When I saw him act I felt like he was talking directly to me asking me.

Yo, why would you leave your greatness trapped in a small card game immersed in that energy? I had an epiphany if you've been mastering something you've been preparing for everything. It always seems so inconsequential that I mastered the card game, but it turns out that in the process I was preparing myself for the biggest game of my entire life. I see that life can be a lot like a game of deception and we can get pretty far, pretty fast, skating, watching how others want to say what they want to hear, cutting corners. Bullshit, I'm not going to sit here and say it's not a useful skill, but it usually takes you back to square one, so even when you win you haven't learned anything substantial that could benefit you in the future, it's like you're playing.

The same game over and over again, but just like the card game, there is a better strategy. Winning at life requires an active creative pursuit of those treasures that improve your hand, enrich your life, and empower you and allow you to operate more authentically. the game you need the right cards but in life you tell me you need to say something do something support someone hone your craft study something break a cycle conquer a fear take a risk let someone commit to someone what opportunity does this moment offer for you and then put in the true effort to capture that value that is there on the table in front of you and watch those intentional efforts quickly, almost magically, create a more powerful, more authentic, remember it starts on the first play, remember Aces Spades I picked it up and I added.

In my hand, my opponents weren't even paying attention, so when it's my turn to play Aces, I place that same Ace face down in the middle of the table and bid an Ace and now they're getting nervous. I'm running out of cards, someone even calls BS to try to stop me, but that's a real Ace and they're stuck with a big stack of cards all the way to the starting point. Similarly, the search in life begins from the beginning, like right now. the moment when no one is looking at you the moment when you don't speak rather you listen and especially in those moments when you listen to those most different from you because they are the ones who can most fill the holes in your hand your your perspective and Your vision can't control your adult's hand, but you can greatly improve your results by seeing and seizing more opportunities to add substance and richness to your life.

The more you do, the more successful you will be in your decisive moments when you are in the spotlight or facing a difficult challenge. If your experience is like mine, you may notice that on this path to success you will experience several beautiful side effects. First, you might stop worrying about what people think when I call you. BS on the first play of the game, people think I'm dumb, obviously, that's a Spates ace, um, but I generally don't enjoy being thought of as dumb. I much preferred the time in college when I became known as the God of Economics after earning the highest score on a notoriously difficult economics exam.

I mean, that's high praise, it felt like winning, especially when my classmates started inviting me to lunch to see my class notes, but let me tell you, there's no such thing as a free lunch every second. I hid behind that façade of economics. God, it cost me a fortune because I stopped asking questions in class for fear that it would expose me as a mere mortal. I missed a lot of learning opportunities that kept me where I started in the second. I went on to evaluate knowledge and skills. I needed to prepare for the future by asking more questions and putting my ideas forward to receive honest feedback, my work improved quickly and it was that work itself, not the facade, that got me the job I took after graduating and I realize I didn't it matters to me.

What people think when I ask stupid questions, if I focus on how the answers will fill the holes in my hands then you could create a more just world. Playing this way requires talking BS early and often, and doing so sets the tone of the game. My experience is contagious You know how I know my basketball coach was making fun of me behind my back in high school? Well, because one of my teammates finally called him and if he hadn't, he would be somewhere else unsure and confused. still demoralized thinking that maybe my defense just wasn't good enough, but because she did it, because I knew she was, I had to reform my beliefs and I have a constant reminder in my head that says: "don't let anyone tell you." say never". you make yourself doubt your passion, your vision or your value, like that coach did once again and I began to ask for more in my life because I saw his power in a game where more truth came to the surface, people like my coach actually they fall behind and people like that teammate are ready to step in and lead.

You can also get rich. Remember that you are not just searching, you are searching for your treasure. The goal is not to collect all the cards, but to see the value of specific cards to me. Straying away from my desperate effort to learn more random facts and impress people at trivia night, I instead spend my time learning alternative theories about the mysterious workings of the human mind in the Universe, not because that's better because it It illuminates when you do what illuminates you. up, that's a treasure, you're rich and you might as well win some real money.

See, while I was making fun of that girl, Sadie, on my basketball team, she was leading with her innate curiosity about biology and genetics by building a complex fish tank system in her garage. and selling generations of unique and beautiful betta fish for hundreds of dollars each, it isYou may enjoy the adventure along the way. The treasure hunt can take you off the quickest route to your next achievement once an intuitive feeling is transmitted to you. He asked me to put work on hold for a music festival. Music festival where I saw DJ Diesel and his strong, intense bass struck a critical nugget of truth for me if you've been mastering something you've been preparing everything for and that was Treasure a. advance and a clue to many more, one of the many clues in any treasure hunt.

I guarantee that in your search you will find clues to new interests, new friends, new passions, maybe even your life's purpose, so life is a lot like the card game, BS, for sure. there is an important difference BS, there is only one winner life is not a zero some game where we all search for a treasure in life we ​​are all better off there is a world where we skate Co trying to adapt to some copy and pasted version of some image that we think most people will value, is a show poodle, but a simple shift towards seeing and taking advantage of more opportunities to learn, practice, connect and create right now frees us all from worrying about the judgments of others , it gives us natural courage, generates abundance and points each of us to our purpose in life and each search is different for me, it involved breathing deeply through the panic paralysis of my mortal fear of dogs, that I could live life more freely, perhaps spending most of it loving them, it also involved reading my Mom's favorite book, The Prince of Tides, and coming to understand why it was her favorite, the same as my dad's and my favorite books. friend, and it involved starting my PhD and giving myself 5 to six years, but like I said, every pursuit looks different, which means each of Our Lives is improved in a personalized way and as we go down these separate paths we become more unique and therefore irreplaceable and this is how the Treasure hunt prepares each of us to win simultaneously while promoting the understanding of Innovation and Excellence on which the entire society depends. benefits I hope you go play BS, the card game, bet some money on yourself, win some games, but don't leave your greatness on the table, let this inspire you to go on the adventure of life to embrace your curiosity and your potential, remember that treasure is everywhere, it is here and now to find it it only requires that you choose the card you want and add it to your hand