Ricky Gervais Offensive Jokes (Armageddon)

Of course, the word queer has changed again. Traditionally, the word queer used to mean someone who was attracted to the same sex as themselves, a gay man. Now the word queer can mean a straight man who wants some attention. I'm all queer. all Queer now is you, yes, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, I am, now, I am, I am, yes, I am, yes, what about the girlfriend?, yes, she is queer and we are all , we're just two fags that fag each other, suck a No, no, I didn't think about it, so I'm not that kind of faggot, what kind of faggot are you?

You dyed my hair blue. My grandmother also made it and she loved it. So what we said, I'm not evidence of that. We never had that conversation. I'm awake now and I can prove it, there you go. I love illegal immigrants, yes, suei. Now sometimes I go to Dover for the day and look out. I look for a boat and see a boat with about 60 people. them and I go here like to the right and I attract them I attract them to the shore and I go Women and children First they go, there are no women or children, just you guys, just let's go, guys, let's go, guys, if I come down.

There one day and there was no boat, I'm absolutely gutted, I don't. I just wander around town and I stop at the light and I wait for a big truck to stop on the right and I look underneath and there's a guy like holding on to me like this and I go where you were going and he goes to Gary Liner's house I go, it's down there, let's change it's my point like the word disabled again traditionally that was the politically correct term, the all-inclusive term for disabled and entitled, but then they said no, we want to be disabled, they didn't want to be disabled, they said, they said, They said, they said, we want you to call us disa, we don't like the term disabled anymore, stop using it, let's say disabled, and we went well, well. and that's cool, just tell me the rules and no, in fact, I'm a stickler for the rules, like I'm on the beach and a woman comes running up and goes to help my disabled child who's drowning.

I would go, sorry. what love, what my disabled child is drowning, he can't swim, do you mean your disabled child is drowning, yes, I'm fine, come on, oh, dead, we wasted too much time waking up, right?, we're just one species of narcissistic ape and some people on social media get upset when I say we're apes, you know, religious guys, Americans, um, one guy told me, speak for yourself, dude, I'm not an ape and I sent him back because We are all apes, he was Noah. What has a gorilla done? We have walked on the moon. I sent back.

What do you mean? You have done everything you have written wrong Luna. It's strange, isn't it when people take credit for the rest of the species? that's what propelled civilization forward, you know, a few geniuses along the way, like there are 8 billion people on this planet, most of us do nothing, eat and die, like there's a meteor heading towards Earth to destroy it definitively, 4 billion people would descend. He kneels and prays to his own God and a few hundred scientists would work to get Bruce Willis there to stop him. A child born today can expect to live around 100 years and scientists said that soon it will be 120 and science also said that In the near future, there is no reason why, with proper care and attention, human beings should not live regularly up to age 150, which is amazing until you remember that we get a certain amount of brain cells right, which we just lose, you can't get them.

So in the future there will be 15 billion people on the planet, you know half of them will be over a hundred and they will all have Alzheimer's, it will be like the death of the dead, it will be horrible. my aunt died of Alzheimer's um I don't know how you die of Alzheimer's she forgot to live I've been researching infant mortality rates recently um for research no it's not a fetish like a child born today in the UK has a percentage of 99.8% survival probability, which is incredible. I thought that just the spoiled West that was putting in third world countries and even in Africa is like 96.5% in the wilds of Africa where everything wants to eat a newborn baby, babies are vulnerable enough.

In Africa, a baby can be born in a mud hut, there's a lion outside, it's covered in blood because they can't wash it, they don't have water, oh, and it already has AIDS, when that joke comes out on Netflix, it'll be new, nuanced , there may be an underlying satirical point, making our statement, but until then all I have is H, the baby has AIDS. I know it's funny, I just have to figure out why you can't always find an actor with the same disability as the person they're playing. What if they made a biopic of Helen Keller, the blind and dumb girl from the DEA, What are the chances of finding a blind and deaf-mute actress who can play that role? directory come on we found a blind dumb girl from the DEA what did she say she didn't even answer the phone oh don't get me started oh oh cultural appropriation have you heard of that cultural appropriation? it was considered a good thing to exchange ideas with other cultures with other nations to share things with other races to assimilate was the opposite of racist now it's racist Gwen Stefani got in trouble in her last video because she had her blonde hair in dreadlocks.

Come on, black people didn't invent dreadlocks, you can't have them, you're white, that's racist. Jamie Oliver got into trouble when he came out with an authentic Jerk Chicken recipe. No, black people invented that, you can't have them, you're white, that's racist now. Black people use the n-word, right? We invented that you can be sued in this country for saying that someone is gay if they are not. You know what a homophobic law is because they can't sue you the other way around. I won't be sued for saying someone isn't gay if they are, which seems unfair, isn't it like I could go up to the biggest gay in Britain and say, "Okay, Alton, that's okay, and he'd love that." "Would you love it, if that's your game?" I want to be on top of the pile, so to speak, sure, I'll go, he's going, yeah, I'm going, ha ha, you're not a gay, damn, is he leaving?

I'm going to sue you. I'm going, you can't, you can't. He goes, but I know I'm gay. I go, I don't believe you. He goes, well, he comes in with me and sees what I do. If you don't believe me, I promised you more about China and this is an incredible statistic. Okay, this is true, look it up in China, there are 10 million Chinese pedophiles, 10 million Chinese pedophiles in China and there are not enough children because they have been restricting births, there are all these poor pedophiles and they leave, where are all the children? You know me, we have to double down here and I just thought of a joke, so I can't do it, it's actually too

offensive

, okay, okay, okay, I'll do it, but remember, remember you can.

Don't choose your own thoughts, okay, and I just had this right thought. CH, okay, Chinese pedophile. The Chinese pedophile approaches a Chinese child and says: do you want a puppy? and the child says: I'm not hungry, let's have it. the first generation that future generations are jealous of because we had it all and we're using it all, we're using all the fresh water, we're using all the fossil fuel, usually you look back in history and I'm sorry for you. , see, oh, how did they live like that?, oh, how did they manage? There are no indoor bathrooms.

I have nine bathrooms in my house, um, and sometimes I just run around flushing the toilet for a laugh, only for 40 years from now Greta Thumberg to have her way out a window. I have 28 radiators. I always have them on max, then I put the air on max and it sits at about 20°. It's lovely, that's how the cat likes it. She loves it at 20° and I spoil it. my cat um I love cats I love having a cat I think cats are great but if you let them out they bring home the most disgusting things last week mine brought home a scouser with herpes and no He was completely dead, so I had to leave.

She grabs him by the legs and slams his head against the table.