Drowning in Empathy: The Cost of Vicarious Trauma | Amy Cunningham | TEDxSanAntonio

let's play a little game we'll play a word association game I'll say a word and you can picture something in your head you can even shout it out loud are you ready cow okay so most of you maybe we're thinking that this May be some of you, we are thinking more about this and maybe some of you thought this. We're going to do other amazing work so some of you really love his work like this maybe some of you are thinking this and I'm wondering if. Has anyone felt so good with PTSD or more PTSD, so most of you thought this, maybe some of you are thinking this, but I wonder if anyone thought that this compassion fatigue is the symptoms related to the PTSD that you receive

vicarious

ly as a secondary goal of the

trauma

.

Compassion fatigue is experienced by those in a helping profession: doctors, nurses, counsellors, therapists, police officers and maybe even you, if your unpaid role is that of a helping professional then you may also be affected by compassion fatigue. compassion fatigue if you are in the middle of the night answering the phone or helping a friend through addiction or anxiety if you are raising children or caring for parents or maybe both at the same time if your unpaid role is From a Helping Profession, Compassion Fatigue Could Be Affecting You Too Now, what puts you at greatest risk for compassion fatigue is

empathy

.

Those who are generally in a helping profession have a very strong empathic response system and

empathy

is the ability to stand up and put yourself in another person's shoes and really get to where they are. The problem with empathy is that you can't decide when to jump and those

trauma

s you experience start to change you. I remember when I was a supervisor at a therapeutic group home and I was sitting with one of my clients, she began to tell me the horrible and painful stories of her past and as she told me in detail what she had experienced, my cell phone started vibrating and I wanted to. show her that I was listening to her and that I cared about every word she said.

I picked it up, muted it and put it down again and kept listening from that day onwards every time I picked up my cell phone to silence it I was transported back to its trauma, my brain had created a related PTSD. symptom that transported me to your situation every time for years. This would be pretty normal if it happened that day after work at the grocery store or maybe even a week or two weeks later, but we're worried that maybe this trauma is starting. change you is when it lasts four weeks, six weeks and maybe even longer now, for many years, compassion, fatigue was confused, people called everything exhaustion until dr.

Charles Figley came along in the late 80s and 90s and started researching, we call it burnout, but the truth is there is a significant difference between burnout and compassion. Fatigue has to do with being exhausted and tired and simply not liking your job. Compassion fatigue already has to do with fear. Compassion fatigue begins to change your wiring. Change who you are. We see this a lot in child protective services workers. They begin to become overly vigilant, believing that everyone wants to hurt them and their family when I think. From this I can't help but think about the nurse who came after one of my classes and said that to this day she can see the broken bones of the young man who was abused by his parents and that even today he knows the smell of death . of a patient lying in bed dying, these memories don't just disappear and start changing you, but we like to make excuses because we think we're superhuman, so we say things like I'm fine, I'm a professional.

I can deal with stress, in fact it doesn't even stress me out. My famous talk was that I've been doing this for 15 years. I know most people think it's stressful but I'm okay the problem with that is when stress and trauma start to affect your brain and your body they don't ask for your opinion and they will start to show signs and symptoms because your body and your brain is screaming at you NO I'm okay I can't handle the trauma in small ways whether you start having trouble sleeping, or you sleep all the time, you can't sleep at all, another way it manifests is by becoming a workaholic.

I know a lot of you in this room think Amy, there's nothing wrong with being a workaholic, get up. I'll tell you why it can be a problem because when we start to feel like we're losing control of the world around us, what we do is we roll up our sleeves and work a little harder and I can work hard enough to make this trauma. disappears, another sign and symptom is feeling unappreciated and without resources, as if what you have is not enough to do the job now. I'm not saying that's not true, there's a good chance they don't really appreciate you, but when you started, when you started in this helping profession or when you started helping your friend or family member.

Did you know you were going to be underestimated but you said it's okay? I want to do this anyway. Alright. I love you enough, but then at some point. That's no longer okay with me, it's no longer okay that I'm not thanked and that I don't have what I need to succeed. What that tells me is that your circumstances haven't changed, yes, maybe you changed because of life, maybe you changed because of life. maturity, but maybe you changed due to compassion fatigue. The last symptom I want to talk to you about today is called self-entitlement and self-entitlement is a justification for Mel's negative adaptive behaviors because of the positive things you do better.

The way I can imagine saying this is that most of us went to school and got a degree or certification to be professionals at what we do, but the truth is I will tell you a secret that is not enough because we are very successful, so we need little invisible badges to be really professional let me tell you what these invisible badges are like for social workers. I know they look like that. I stayed up all night helping Joe Smith at the hospital. Now I am a real social worker for some health care. professionals I know it looks like this I worked two shifts in a row now I'm a real healthcare professional where this comes into its own is when it looks like this I stayed up all night helping Joe Smith at the hospital that's why I'm a little unwell humor today.

I'm brightening everyone's heads. I work two shifts in a row, in fact I work 60 hours this week, so I'm getting drunk all weekend. We begin to justify negative behaviors for the positive things we have. Now that I'm completely depressed, you want to give you some good news: that compassion fatigue can be identified, stopped, and treated at any time. That you can begin this journey towards post-traumatic growth. That you can be better than ever after the trauma. they were before and the best way I can think of to put this is when you think about a plane you know the flight attendant tells you where those exits are and then they start telling you to please put your mask on first before helping other people now Every time I travel on vacation with my family I show the flight attendant that I'm listening.

I pull the cue card out of the backseat pocket and make eye contact. I'm almost the only person on the plane listening and showing if the plane crashed. I could save the plane. I'm very intense about it and yet it never fails. Every time they finish, they come up to me and say, "Sorry, if there was a change in cabin pressure, what would you do?" a little offended I don't know how they asked me that but you see that stewardess they see something you don't see the hand luggage I travel with they see this they do see me and they see this you see that flight The assistant knows that no matter how much I listen to her, first I will put them her masks before taking care of myself, but you see, she also knows that no matter how much of a supermom she thinks I am, I can't live without oxygen and still. every day we do the same thing I put on your mask and your mask and your mask and I don't worry about myself but you see, we can only give what we have, we give for who we are and If I don't worry about myself, I certainly can't worry about you, so I will ask you to complete a task for me and I will ask you to do this every day for the rest of your life. life I have high expectations I am going to ask you to take ten ten minutes just for yourself ten minutes to put on your mask the first ten minutes to pray or meditate to exercise or take a walk but ten minutes to take care of yourself first take ten