MEL B TALKS SPICE GIRLS REUNION, LEARNING TO TRUST AGAIN AND THE TRUE DEFINITION OF GIRL POWER!

This week's episode of So Wrong It's Right was brought to you by Foxy Bingo. Put a little fox in your day with new fast and interactive bingo experiences, all at your fingertips. They have a wide variety of free classic and exclusive games that you can play. your friends to keep the party going want to connect with other players foxy Bingo has a community chat so you can always feel part of the group foxy so turn on your Fox by heading to Foxy bingo today 18 more begambleaware.org teas and C apply the Back you are Phoenix, she was like Studio.

I was like, oh, I don't know what's going on, but I'm doing it now, so I'm here, you're here, you look amazing, the wedding, all the

girl

s will be there, better. I swear, no one knows how old Jerry is and I promised my dad on his deathbed that I would leave the abuser, that means I have to admit it to myself so you end up staying in a situation that you think is going to get better and it doesn't. improves Spice Girl

reunion

in Glen Bre, there you go, welcome to Cyro, right, oh, thanks for having me.

I've been waiting for this day because Phoenix was really upset that you weren't there. On my PR tour I thought, "Oh, sure, I'll put it in. I have to include it, so thank you, thank you Phoenix, but if I hadn't done this, I would have been in the doghouse, so I'm glad." being here I'm internally addicted to Phoenix for this and for those who don't know listening or watching at home. I know his daughter Phoenix, we did the ITV game show together, which was a group of celebrities who hate calling me that, but doing The Olympic Challenges and you had to downplay a couple of times the fact that Phoenix was actually willing to do that. it was um, I was quite distraught because she's not a person who exercises, she doesn't lift weights, she doesn't run, she doesn't. any activity other than sitting in the well, I shouldn't say that she is very active, but you say that, but she still did better than me.

I think I came out last of all the

girl

s and I did it. I knocked him down twice and the time I left, I had a tied shoulder, I had lifelong injuries, but your daughter, I mean, she has that contagious energy, it was fun, it was a fun show to watch, also because you all were very competitive, it was like I wasn't. I got too involved in the competition but in the end I thought these guys were losing their minds over this show, that's what Phoenix says, he went crazy, yeah she really got into it, um melb, MBE Sunday bestseller Times, uh, Patron Women's Aid Mother.

Spice Girl TV star, there's so much I want to unpack, but I know no, I don't have you forever, so I want to dive right into BR Hest's book released in 2018, now reissued with three new chapters, yes, I had to do it. update people because a lot has happened since the first release of the book, yes, a lot, a lot, so I felt compelled to update it a little for anyone who wants to have an update, everyone definitely cares and that's what you're talking about. obviously you know your struggles and stuff, and it's brutally honest, the title says it on the tin, I mean, it really takes you there and paints the picture and I think the way you talk about domestic violence and obviously the work.

What you do with helping women is very important because I heard you say that we are in an epidemic, it is actually getting worse, why do you think that is? I think because you know we don't feel safe with the Metropolitan Police, we don't do it. Feel safe reporting domestic violence, so it has become an epidemic, one woman a week was murdered by her ex-partner or her current partner. Now the statistics have changed

again

. Now it's two women a week and it predominantly happens. It happens to women too, yes, but I mean, if we don't do something about it and educate ourselves, our women, our

power

ful, beautiful, strong women, know that women are going to be murdered basically, basically, single-handedly. nor support.

I have refugees that women can go to for safety and shelter, but even they are being closed down. You know, this is it. I mean, fortunately we're not as bad, we're not in as bad a situation as the United States, but still two women a week every 30 seconds there's a domestic call to the police and sometimes the police will show up the police will show up the abuser is so manipulator that the victim ends up getting arrested instead of the abuser and then you know, we know. What these abusers are capable of, we already know the pattern they follow, starting with love bombing and then the slow drip, drip, drip, drip, um, making you feel insecure and then controlling you, so if we know what they do, then we are one. one step forward we just have to act and change the laws and educate our children, that's why I'm so proud of Phoenix because it goes to the schools and teaches people what a healthy relationship should be like.

I think you've hit the nail. my head there because as you say some of the ways abusers work are very subtle and there was a quote in the book that really gave me goosebumps and I hope I don't kill you, now it's your ex-husband you talked about yeah you boil a frog slowly with warm water, they don't know they are being boiled and you said you noticed when you say I'm the frog, yeah, and I think that's how women like you and so many men end up. in these situations because it is happening so slowly and subtly that you don't even realize it and then before you know it you are in complete physical, physical, abusive, mental, abusive, financially abusive and then you are trapped and you have no dating because don't Don't forget you know I married this person and stayed with this person for 10 years so I felt like I couldn't get out and at that point I had already been cut off or isolated from my friends and my family so even If I thought well, I will definitely leave him, where would I go?

I haven't talked to my friends in what seemed like a few days, but then it was a few weeks, and then it was a few months. I know I would go back to lunch with one of my friends and then my ex would surprise me with a love dinner because he wanted to make sure you didn't come to the lunch to connect with your friends and then I didn't know. that phone call was made to them saying that I didn't want to see you anymore or my mom or my sister and then it's not just you who ends up being abused but your friends your family and then it went on to that it took me 10 years to get out after I tried leave you at least six or seven times in the book at the end, it's great, there's a checklist where you can basically look for signs of abuse and you talk about the fact that at one point each and every one of them You could take, yeah, well , the thing is Louise, who wrote the book with me.

Louise G, my dear friend and fantastic writer, she put these 15 signs of abuse in front of me and asked me: what do you think of that? I just finished talking about abuse probably that day and I said, "Well, it's the timeline of my marriage and she said no." This is from a website for a charity called Women's Aid and these are the 15 points that they put on their website so you can check if you're in an abusive relationship and I was like, well, I check every single one of them and it's that's why I put it at the end of the book because I don't think you know that sometimes some people have read the book and told me and themselves that I didn't realize it, but I think maybe I've been in some abusive relationships because I it can happen to anyone there is no size race color there is no gender sometimes you know that abuse will happen to you If the abuser wants to abuse you, yes, so I found the warning signs really interesting because maybe if I had seen them in the back of a toilet somewhere or I would have had the opportunity to have access to a computer, which I didn't have for 10 years maybe that would have made me think twice and know that I wasn't so alone because when I picked up the book I thought that I was going to end my career because I thought that in my little world I was the only one. that's going through this, but there's also the shame and guilt that society places on women, so it's like you know it's disgusting and it's not joyful, like you say, talking about it, are you going to be the end of end up being him? one that people like oh let's not work with her because she's about her ex and it's kind of that's what it was like no one wanted to publish the book you're talking about in 2016 2017 no one wanted to publish it no one wanted to hire me for a radio or television show because it was considered a taboo topic, so I think right before it was published and released, I literally called Louise and told her I couldn't do it, don't publish it and if it wasn't for Louise and Phoenix says that you have to get this book out, think about how many other people you are helping when they told me that many times I said, well, I surely can't be the only one who doesn't, and then the book flew off the shelves and they said I couldn't keep up with the rearrangement, which just shows how many desperate people had an interest in the story, but two were using this book to educate themselves or say: this is me and, as you say, the

power

of anyone talking about their experience is immeasurable, but you , like this SP Scholet, you say singing about girl power, telling you that you know girls, you can do whatever you want, stand up for yourself and for me to have you here is so surreal on so many levels, but as a preteen, when I was a little girl.

As you know, one of my first memories of feeling powerful was listening to the Spice Girls and your girl power and looking in the mirror and saying, "Oh my God, girls, we can do anything." You know what I mean? To say that being that figure for so many people and then being a victim is this crazy contrast that I think makes it even more important. Well I think one of the things I'm glad you said that because when you're in an abusive relationship you're so embarrassed and so embarrassed number one if I say that to someone else what my situation is that means I have to admit it to myself and I'm too riddled with shame and guilt and I'm in the middle of this abuse and I'm probably being blackmailed at the same time as my kids, he could take my kids off my back so you end up being left with what you think in a situation that You think it's going to get better and it's not.

I'm not getting any better, I mean, luckily I'm a Women's Aid patron. I get to work with a lot of survivors, so we all have the same story and if this is a women's problem, if it was a men's problem, it would have been resolved and there. There have been more laws, this happens statistically predominantly to women, so it's like I can use my platform and admit that you know that for 10 years I was a powerless girl, but you wouldn't necessarily have known that when I was on the judging panel of America's. Got Talent OR The most successful is the one who attacks, whether it's low or high, it's an attraction for them and especially when there's money involved because an abuser, you know, I always describe it as that's their only job, so in their job they'll be really good. like you're good at your job, I'm good at my job, I love my job, but you know being abusive gives them income, their lifestyle, the power of their EGO, the control of this, so they become really good. and they don't stop, you know?

Before my ex was with me, he was already convicted of domestic violence, he already has a criminal record. I didn't know and then, when one of her exes told me that, I said yes, of course, because at that moment Ya already told me that she is crazy, yes, just like he told me towards the end that I was crazy and everyone is going to know it now. I was like, Oh my God, so abusers are really good at what they do, but I think with those 15 signs. at the end of the book, by educating ourselves we can be one step ahead because we already know they are going to do the love bombing, we already know they will quickly marry you and try to force you to have a baby and isolate you from your friends and family and then before you know it you feel like you're really trapped, so we know the pattern, yeah, so we can break it and stop it, and it starts with educating our children, remaking the justice system, because if I I am in a domestic violence situation.

Do you think I'm really going to depend on the Metropolitan Police to save me? All the courts, the family courts to save me. No, because they have no education. Yes, all of them and that's what I. I would say that I am talking to my daughters but also to the boys. This happens to everyone and that's what I would say if you take Mel's book and look at that list and even one of them it's like that's happening to me all the time. moment at this moment you need to evaluate your situation as a point, yes, because the abuse you know even though they cry and then you come back and they will never do it

again

, whether it is physical, mental or emotional, you know it, so they are already in That slippery slope with you and they will drag you down and they will get up because they conquered you and controlled you and literally left you in pieces.

You talked there briefly about America's Got Talent and you were doing the talent shows. You didn't tell yourself during thisback and it just lessens the impact of that word and that feeling and that helped me a little bit and you're a Ry Master, yeah, I mean how crazy is it that I was trying to give Phoenix some riky last night. Like mommy, stop, I thought she might want to get some of this stuff out of you, she said, oh, just do it on my hand. I said: no, I need your feet so I can punish you.

She said: oh, you have a very good impression of her, yes, very good, and in fact I do it to my fiance too, which, by the way, because I have a raiki ro room on the top floor of my house that no one can enter unless me I invite you to come in because the energy is yes, yes, protective and also my mom and I, you know, we did it ourselves and we got Material from Amazon so it's a really lovely room it's a DIY job so I put Rory in the raiki room and he. I'll just give him raiki and put on the music and an SDR playing and he'll be like oh, that was great.

I wonder what you saw, do you know what you feel, oh, I just had a nice nap, oh. For love, I'm like what I said: pretty cute, you didn't feel the energy go, yeah, yeah, anything, yeah, I really relaxed, you're right, you could have done that on the couch, love, but all the best , yes, Rory, the fiancé, yes, you. I knew him for years off and on, how good of a

trust

ed family friend he was, so luckily for me, you know, coming out of that horrible abusive marriage, I wasn't looking for a relationship, no, I mean, how hard was it to let anyone in or go anywhere well he was a

trust

ed friend so you knew he was a good person yeah so for example when I came back from LA my hair was like this short, he called it my Rod Stewart phase because it was all so damaged and pink from a terrible hairdresser in um La, so he came and gave me a hair treatment, just like it was, and I never thought I'd get my natural curls back, just the way it was, I say as he was brushing my curls back. it was feeding my self-confidence and my trust in him because you know our hair is our everything and he just got it back feeling healthy and at the same time he was making me feel a little bit more like myself again and a little bit more. trust someone else, but I mean still in the past, in the past, a few years ago, even when he would come and give me a hug, sometimes I would get like this or wake up in a state of panic or be drenched in sweat with a real dream, really given part of the abuse and he was, you know, kind and gentle and honest, and from the clues, and I had never and I had not seen that, I didn't know how he felt, that's incredible. that's like giving me everything like getting in yes, you're engaged to get married yes and you're going to do it in St.

Is it St. Paul's Cathedral? So, as an MBE, you understand that we already went there. I just have to do it. one last piece of paperwork because I've been married twice before, so you have to get out all the divorce papers that we've already had, like the sit-down interview, which I really liked because you know the chaplain asks me why you want to be. married again and why um before God why in a church and it really makes you think well why I and I always told Rory, "I'm never going to get married. I'll never have kids.

This is when We weren't dating, but they were like affectionate, yeah, because it took me a long time to do anything else, basically, um, and I thought this guy is a really good guy, you know, when he's just a good good guy and I adore me and I adore him and we have the same. slang because we are both protagonists and the same bant I was not looking for anything and I honestly thought that if I had been through that, how can I start to trust someone I was in love with that monster and I stayed with him and I had. a baby and it's that my judgment is not good, that's what abusers love to bombard you, they come in on their horse like a night in shining armor.

Roy didn't come in like a horse like a horse shining with the. upset arm but he was, you know, something that I didn't think was in the card for me and I didn't even necessarily know that that actually existed, but like you say and I was like, well, you're going to be wrong about the ring anyway, even if you compromise. I said that and I thought that's unreal, like you say, just because an abuser managed to cheat on you before and now I'm talking to everyone. Listening, it doesn't mean you're going to choose someone wrong again, it just means that person was very good at manipulating you, oh yeah, well, like I said, that's their job, so they have to be good at their job and I think anyone . that came out of that and survived that kind of relationship, trust me, you're too terrified to even give your heart to someone, it takes a special kind of person to be able to ignite that in you again, yeah, the wedding they all go to the girls.

Be there, better, I swear you can beat me, better, be for the girls, obviously, this for the girls, but I don't have a date yet, so once I have a date, it won't be B, but it will be No, I have . to do the last paperwork and I'm glad that it's a process that you have to go through instead of just suddenly getting married like they say "I'm um, I'd say I'm on my way to the retirement party." girl, but I'm still a party girl, so when I read about your nickname, the ox, it made me think about myself a little because I'm getting worse now, but I used to be the girl who could drink five bottles of wine and the next day I know that You know I'm not from the north, I know, but I live in Manchester.

I'm like, oh well, then you are because that's 45 minutes from me. Come on up, can I go to the raking room? Too early to ask that, but I'm moving house, so I don't have my ring room sorted in the new house, but I'm leaving. I'm going to New York on Sunday, so I'll leave all the house packing to do. with Rory, so I want to get back from New York in a couple of weeks. I'll be in my new house, but my riky room won't be done, then, because I'll do it right this time. I'm going to do it on Amazon with my mom, you're going to do it because I'm going to do something, but the ORS, yeah, it's still the Orcs, can you still throw it away?

I think so, I mean, I think it was just built. In me, I want to play a game very quickly with you, as if this were called my error box, right, so in honor of the name of the program, so wrong is right, I'm going to read things to you, you're going to tell me if you think it's right, wrong or so wrong. good good do it face tune in the photos I think it's wrong because you know why so you see them on Instagram and then you see them in person you say oh yeah, I'd rather look on Instagram than someone look at me and say oh you look good, take it wrong Like I'm lying about your age oh no that's wrong yeah I feel like we should stop doing that.

Embrace your age. My mom was here the other day. and she said: oh no, it's

true

because I don't even know how old she is. No, she knows how old Jerry is. Nobody is looking at a passport. I mean, I know we've traveled all over the world, but I still don't know how many years. She's fine, no one could see it, well she claims she just turned 50, but I don't think she's obsessed. um, I'm 4 years old, I'm 48 years old, I'm 49 years old, so I always add a year. just for shits and giggles exaggerating a story for drama yeah yeah no one likes boring stories come on I call it a bit of sprinkling a little bit of something then it's a proper story set that repeats itself all the time.

They are 25 years old. obsessed, googling you, oh I had to do that not long ago to find out when I actually got divorced so I could know which lawyer to contact to get my divorce papers. Such a useful tool for you. I think it's useful if you forget things. or you forget how many kids you have if you're world famous, you can, you can search, they say, yeah, where's my birth certificate online? No, so what happened the other day? I think I just got back from one of my yous. I know I called them Brain Breaks, one of my brain breaks in Thailand, so I had a big buzz all over the city, so I went to show my passport and the guy said no.

I said that's a little racist. I just got a tan so I said, "I'll Google it." I am my appearance and that was it. Yes, you let me through. It's great. I didn't write this, but I'm going to read it anyway wearing the same panties two days ago. a row no, I don't really wear underwear much if I wear a short skirt I wear underwear, but I prefer not to because I feel trapped in your children for something that you would definitely do, see? I don't do that too much because you know, yeah, I said, do as I say, not as I do, but then you know you got Phoenix with the charlatan mouth and the charlatan angel mouth and medicon, so I'm fine, just if he feels morally. wrong just don't do it that's a good way to do it who are the kids that are most like you Phoenix I think everyone has a little bit of me Phoenix definitely has She's Got A Rage in her which is very scary and very hot and We've been on some side hustles together, damn she's scary, she's Scary Spice and so is Angel.

Angel is very, you know, legal and opinionated, so, so much, so I was in Thailand another time with Angel and I pretended that I didn't have my money on me even though I had already paid the bill so I told Angel let's have to make a corridor we are going to have to make a corridor I told him I don't have a wall let's just run Angel went and told the guy we don't have money this is where we will stay and he left and walked back to the hotel. I felt thrown under the bus, that's morally wrong if we've eaten in a restaurant you have to pay for it oh my god I'm obsessed and Madison is very similar because she's pretty good all my kids are very American you you you Phoenix she's very Isn't the Phoenix she and her in her vibe and Madison is very similar? get ready with me, I'm like, what's that, I was going to ask you to do that with me, I need to do my elephant, drunk elephant, what's it called, it's product, mommy and you just put some serum in here and I. like just washing your face properly one last Spice Girl

reunion

at Glastenbury I don't think it's going to be at Glastenbury but it's definitely going to happen.

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