The Power of Struggling with Mental Illness | Piper Garner | TEDxOshkosh

thank you hello my name is Piper according to psychiatrists who use the DSM, the diagnostic and statistical manual of

mental

disorders, I have psychosis, OCD, depression, anorexia, autism, anxiety, borderline bipolar personality disorder, bulimia, oh, I'm also a Taurus , I spent the last six years in the psychiatric hospital. health system through hospitals residential programs Wilderness therapy and more today I am here to talk about my story and why the one size fits all approach to

mental

illness

doesn't work for everyone from my first stay in a psychiatric ward after an attempt suicidal. at 12 they treated me like I was broken and needed to be fixed they never looked at the big picture they never looked at all the symptoms it was what I'm presenting with now treat that and send ours off with new Mets when I said I was suicidal now I have a disorder major depressive and when I didn't eat I had anorexia nervosa and when I self-harmed I had generalized anxiety disorder look for a therapist here are your medications let's fix that my adolescence was full of traumatic stays in Psychological Warts.

My honesty was met with what felt like punishment. I would say I wanted to die and I had to stay a few more days. My weight dropped, so I had to stay a few more days. I was angry and I didn't do it. I want to go to group therapy so my sentence was extended for a few more days so I learned to lie and I learned to cheat to get out faster and I understand that in the long run that probably did more harm than good but my need Immediate release from what seemed like a prison was quite strong, so the cycle continued.

I would fall apart. He would do something so risky that he would end up in the psychiatric ward. I would feel safe for a while. I still get it. another incorrect diagnosis and then lying about how I felt upon leaving. I began to rely on them to fix me when I was doing more harm than good in the long run when I went to a long-term Wildlife Therapy Program and therapeutic boarding school. It was exactly the same story, what am I presenting? What tools do you have for me? Don't forget the medications and if I didn't get better I had to stay longer, so again I learned how to suppress and control my symptoms through all of this.

I was stuck in the continuous cycle of self-sabotage, poor mental health, and suicidal behavior. In August 2020, I had a very serious suicide attempt. I had just graduated from these long-term programs and told myself that I was free, since I had played the game successfully and since I had done everything that is written in the books when it came to mental health treatment, now It was fine or so I told myself. I ended up in the ICU intubated and unconscious for several days and in the hospital for about a week, this was my closest call yet. I remember so vividly that first morning home from the hospital it was around 7am.

I had just woken up in my parents' bed, I was looking out the window and listening to the birds chirping and then I had this moment of clarity about how I had spent the last four years of my life in the mental health system, but never I really felt no relief. I had trusted solely in them to fix me. Something needed to change, so I started to accept the mental health challenges I face. My correct diagnosis is borderline. personality disorder some of the things i face are impulsivity eating disorder all or nothing thinking and intense emotions my brain has created these thoughts and feelings because it is trying to keep me safe it is trying to protect me we all have certain thoughts and emotions and it is our way the brain says something needs to change for you could be restlessness, resentment, anger or intense feelings of sadness, let's say I feel very stressed at work instead of walking away from that problem and thinking I hate feeling that way, how Can I suppress this?

How can i get rid of this? I'm going to turn to that feeling. What is this trying to tell me? Maybe I need to take a break. I've been doing too much at work and my brain is going crazy, so I need to stop. For just a second, maybe I've been focusing so much on my workload that I forgot to have a life outside of it so I could go out with some friends this weekend and relax a little using this tool. I have seen a huge improvement in my mental health. I feel calmer, more intuitive and more stable.

For years I was taught that I was broken and needed to be fixed. This contributed greatly to how I felt mentally. I hated myself and I hated that I wasn't. Normally, the thing is that you can't hate yourself to feel better. I had to relearn how I felt about my disorder. I feel emotions very intensely and yes, the lows for me are incredibly low, but the love I feel was so intense, the emotion is so beautiful. and the happy moments are much brighter. Now I am 18 years old. And I'd be lying if I said I haven't been in moments of crisis since that night.

The difference between now and then is my relationship with the crisis. Yes, I have a therapist. and yes, I am on medication, but I am not solely dependent on that to heal me and I know deep down that I am not something that needs to be fixed and that there is nothing wrong with me along my journey. I have met hundreds of people. Who have the exact same story as me. This is not unique. I'm not broken. They are not broken. You are not broken. Thank you.