Binging with Babish: Bubble Bass' Order from Spongebob Squarepants

BUBBLE BASS: "I'll take a deluxe double triple bossy on a raft, 4x4 animal style, extra shingles with a shake and a squeeze, light axle grease, make him cry, burn him and let him swim" Squidward: "We serve food here, sir" BABISH: Hey, what's up guys? Welcome back to Binging with Babish, where this week I'd like to give you a warm welcome to the new kitchen. There's a lot to do and see here, but we'll get to that in due time because we have to

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Bubble Bass from SpongeBob and we won't forget the pickles. A clever redditor with the username "Boothin" meticulously broke down the menu's secret lingo and translated it into a 24-patty burger melt that we're making our 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦 for.

We'll start by chopping a bunch of tomatoes and shredding a bunch of iceberg lettuce. We will remove the core from the bottom center of each half of our head of iceberg lettuce. And then we'll cut it into thin strips and then cut it along the strips to make smaller pieces of iceberg lettuce suitable for burgers. and we're also going to finely chop some white onions for the "make him cry" part of the

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, which refers to additional onions. Now, to the topic of bread. He orders it on a raft, which means Texas toast. So we're going to cut thick slices of white sandwich bread and toast them on the new Binging with Babish six-burner cooking station.

But we need an iron, so... wait a second, I happen to have a 38-inch iron right here. And this is going to be useful because we have a lot of things to fry and this makes me feel like a real cook. So I'm going to melt some butter and place our Texas toast slices in the butter and fry them until they're golden brown. We're not going to reapply butter because he specifically calls for it with light axle grease, meaning not too much butter. We'll leave them aside because now it's time to address one of the most important parts of an animal-style burger, and that's the caramelized onions.

We need a lot of onions; eight in total, cut into thin slices and placed on our giant griddle, or if you don't have one of these, a large frying pan with a little oil over medium-low heat and we will cook them until they are solid. hour. I know it seems like a long time, but that's the amount of time you need to really break down the sugars and create a smooth, jammy onion mixture. Add a little water if they start to dry out too much and be patient. . Please. Your patience will be rewarded with the most candied of candied onions, deep and rich in both color and complexity of flavor.

Chop them a little before taking them off the griddle and set them aside because we need to make an In-N-Out style paste, which is an equal mix of ketchup and mayonnaise with a pinch of garlic powder, onion powder, a pinch of preservative of kosher salt and an even more conservative pinch of paprika along with a few tablespoons of pickle juice. Once everything is nice and homogeneous, it is time to start preparing the smash burgers. I'm going to measure out a 2 ounce ball of meat (I did it, first try, because I'm a pro at it) and then we'll just mimic the size and shape of that initial meatball. until we have 24 identical meatballs, a little larger than a golf ball, which we are going to throw on a very hot griddle, if you can't tell from all the smoke, and with a large, flat spatula, flattening them.

They'll cook for no more than 30 to 45 seconds before developing a beautiful brown crust, which we'll immediately hide under a layer of pasteurized American cheese. Then, as soon as it's nicely melted, it's time to head to Station 3: The Assembly Station, where, in a custom-made foil container, we'll stack four burgers on top of two slices of toast, followed by tomato. , onion, shredded iceberg lettuce and then top the opposite Texas toast with a healthy spread and some of our delicious jammy caramelized onions. Then, per Boothin's recipe, we pile two slices of Texas toast on top of that... mess, and then start all over again.

Six times in total, so I'm making eight burgers at a time, grilling them and gently placing them into my giant burger chute, rinsing and repeating until I've created six layers of 4x4 burgers stacked on top of each other. It's very difficult to stay upright. I don't know how Boothin did it, but I take my hat off to him. Finally, I managed to turn the whole thing into a sort of burger, which I'm happy to say I didn't forget to add a healthy sprinkle of pickles. That? Is that a phrase? I'm not entirely sure. I'm tired because I've been doing this monstrosity for the last... six hours or so.

After a few fruitless attempts at trying to get this to line up a little better, we decided to say "screw it," split it into six equal patties, and dig in. Now, while this was not the most structurally sound sandwich I've ever swallowed... it was a really passable burger melt, but its structure leaves it inherently flawed. I think we can do better. So why don't we refer to Bubble Bass' lesser-known second order as a guide to a much more reasonable quad burger melt? BUBBLEBASS: "I'll have a quad burger with a little Himalayan salt and smoked paprika. "I'd like my burgers with cheese, but just any cheese won't do.

Do you have any aged how-uda? (gouda)" Putting aside the complicated pronunciation of the cheese name, this has the makings of possibly a very good melted burger. So let's fry them, stack them high, top them with the thinly sliced ​​tomato, the shredded iceberg lettuce and the thinly sliced ​​onions. And, of course, this time don't forget the pickles. Although I didn't specify them, I'll stick with the spread and the caramelized onion because I think they're going to be delicious, and why not? ?, this results in a sandwich that can be baptized in the new cuisine with its first cross section.

Not bad at all. Lots of melted cheese and crispy, juicy beef, some tasty toppings and something unorthodox. Yes. Point out the cheese and spice options by Bubble

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. As you can see, the sandwich is not structurally sound, but it is tasty. Overall, this burger melt was a great way to ring in the new kitchen, with or without. pickles. .