Bill Engvall - Dogs

I thought he loves them dog, I love them too, but they're just

dogs

, okay, we had to put our

dogs

in boarding school recently. I don't know if you had to do this, but it's like checking them into a spa. I walk to our dogs. and a little girl behind this says hello, just a few questions: do your dogs like to sleep on linen or wool? Concrete is fine, what kind of water do you like? Clara, put her in a toilet, they will be scared and then she asked. Me, she was, would you like to buy a toothbrush for your dogs for the weekend?

I'll tell you what you teach him to hold it. I'll buy the toothbrush. Look, we have four dogs. We have two dachshunds. Those are his dogs. Yeah. cute until they have to go to the vet, then it's like a

bill

ion dollars. I took her dachshunds to our vet. Our idiotic vehicles, that dog is going to have back problems. I say, oh no kidding, now he has an eight foot back and two inch legs. I have to find out that there is another doctor here, obviously he is a dog boy and he is a quarter of an inch away from dragging his transmission down the sidewalk.

Wow, you need to talk to that dog and tell him not to jump out of bed. As soon as we get home, that dog and I sit for a little bit and then we have my dog ​​Duke, he's a basset hound, he's a perfect dog, yeah, he eats his own droppings, perfect dog, right there he comes out, Outside, the poop, clean it, you can. I don't teach that that's just a gift. The best part is that my wife doesn't know he does it. She loved letting that dog lick her face right there. That's why my wife and I have never had an argument.

She starts bothering me. and all I'm saying is Duke, I'm gonna win some love. Duke just went to the vet and I told him that Duke eats his own poop. I told him it's not that weird and he says no, a lot of dogs do it, he said. here, he just sprinkles this on his food and that will make him stop. I told him what he does and he says he makes his poop taste bad. Sorry doctor, I'm a little slow. Did you just say the phrase? make her poop taste bad hey, if you've sunk into eating poop, you've never uttered the phrase oh my god, this is disgusting, we have a german shepherd, we found the side of the road, she's a psycho, now I know why she's on the side of the road nothing is free, but I love that dog, that dog saved my head one night, one night, my wife and I are fast asleep in bed, her dog is trying to jump into bed after I talked to him, so I grabbed a dachshund.

I threw them into the backyard, well around 5:30 that morning I heard screams and screams coming from the backyard, oh my god, I jumped out of bed in my underwear, put on my headlights, house shoes and ran out. to the backyard and a coyote had jumped the fence, yes, and had my wife's dachshund pinned to the ground. I'm like, oh damn, I appreciate what you're doing, they're making it a little quieter, couldn't you about that time I felt a hiss on my leg from that German Shepherd? I ran into that backyard and hit the coyote broadside. That coyote circled three times and jumped the fence.

I looked at that German Shepherd and said, come on, you're sleeping in the bed. The funny thing was that for about two weeks after that, my wife and I were sitting around. At The Breakfast Table having coffee we were looking at the street and there were two or three coyotes sitting on our street looking at our backyard and you know, the conversation went like this, no, no, don't go in there. The puppies are ready. I'm not lying when I ask Joe what happened to him. Hell, he doesn't eat anything but soy bacon. God bless you, Washington, I appreciate it.