How to Talk to Anyone with Ease and Confidence

Thanks for watching Northwest, our next guest says she can teach us how to strike up a dazzling conversation with

anyone

we meet. We welcome back human lie detection and body language 101 author Vanessa Vantage or now it's Vanessa. You just had to get away from a conversation with the taxi driver there, yes, but for people who have a hard time making a conversation, there is a science behind having a good conversation, yes, and the good news is that the science of conversation It can be used in any situation, whether it is professional networking events. gatherings with colleagues and it's also the same for social parties new friends meeting their in-laws for the first time luckily the science is the same whether you love conversation or not so let's

talk

about the first rule you say it's your intention yeah and This is actually the one we forget most often, so the best conversations and the best conversationalist always set the intention of the conversation and this helps protect you against those awkward pauses or lulls.

Yes, that doesn't happen when you set an intention. What I want you to think about before you meet someone before you go to an event is what do you want to bring from the event what do you want to bring to the event so are you there to get new business? are you there to meet someone? couple, are you there, just have a good time? Are you there to learn something about someone just by setting that minor intention? I always do it in the car, no matter where I go, it helps guide your conversation for the next tips.

You'll notice that you need to have that momentum guiding you to know what you want to

talk

about or ask next, so set your intention before you even show it. It's like a game plan, making sure you have a plan exactly how it's being set up. your strategy for the night and again it could be as simple as I just want to laugh I'm not having a good time because that's going to change the direction of your conversation okay you talk about focus yeah so when you think about a conversation you usually think about the first one line, but research shows that our first impression doesn't happen when you hear someone for the first time, it happens when you see someone for the first time mmm, so actually the best conversationalist they always approach almost starts their conversation in the approach So what do I want you to do?

What you need to do is that every time you are about to start a conversation or you are about to go up to someone and introduce yourself is to prepare properly so that the best first impression happens when you have pleasant and open body language, so that you want your hands are actually visible out of sight. non-touching pockets in your bag, not behind your back, help with our correct

confidence

signals and then having your shoulders down and back every time we squirm, means anxiety, so shoulders down and back and then your smile is actually your opening line so when you smile at a moment where it warms them up directly and they say oh this person is about to talk to me it already gets them going it's like your line Open your smile a little, right, that's a good idea and what would be a good start, okay? so everyone asked me what is a good pick up line, what is a good pick up line, there is a huge research experiment that looked at almost every pick up line, the different ways we start a conversation, let me guess, would that be a compliment? ?

The first thing you say is: I like it. that ring or those boots or that dress those compliments are great second and third the first one the first in I know this is going to sound simple hello how are you oh from afar yes that one from afar and if you think about it, it's actually you Really no I mean something too intense when you start with this smile for the first time, you go up and say hello, how are you? I'm Vanessa, whatever and then you move on to what's next and what's the next part that you're already interested in.

Don't even say your name, the first conception is a hey, hey, how are you? I'm Banessa, I've got you, hey, how are you?, hey, how are you?, hello, who are you? It's actually so nice because it's so easy and it's so natural, so don't think about it. of any crazy thing, just go for what's simple, okay, and then what I want you to do is look for what's called conversation sparks, so conversation sparks, this is the difference between a dazzling conversation and kind of a new conversation, so conversation sparks are the non-verbal cue. when you're generating curiosity when you're engaging someone to say wow, this is really interesting and I'll show you the non-verbal scientific feedback, sure, across cultures, genders and races, there's one thing that everyone does when they're super engaged and that's He raises an eyebrow, oh, so you did anytime, every time someone says something interesting, come on, oh, that's what you're looking for, you're looking for the themes, the conversations, the stories that make them tick, oh , really, that means you're really listening, that means you're not just going to get in the ring, so what I want you to think about is that you set your intention correctly, so maybe your intention is to get to know your father-in-law better, like this that what you would be doing is asking questions you are trying to look for tastes mutual tastes do you like these restaurants vacations we have similar hobbies that we like and then you are looking for that oh I love the game of baseball from left to right and then you know you have got it right If you have found a spark and then you can go down that hole in that rabbit hole in the conversation, so you're looking for the spark, you raise your eyebrow when you set that intention, that's what you're looking for all the time, okay?

I'm finishing a conversation that my husband and his family can never finish and I don't know how they do it but I can never finish a conversation it's the funniest thing so we didn't think about ending such an important conversation but actually your last impression is so important as your first impression, so this is what you should do. This is a really easy way if you ever want to end a conversation, the first mention is called future mention, so hey what are you doing this weekend? What are you doing? later today actually shifts the focus from the present to the future oh yeah, yeah man, they're talking about oh yeah, this weekend, you know, I'm going to go go on the hike in Forest Park, that's your cue to say, well , it was great talking to you.

I wish you the best of luck on that hike. I hope it's very fun. Actually, that future mention is a nice moment, yes, and it's a really clean, kind, polite way to thank them for the conversation and then wish them the best of luck in whatever it may be. your future and it's always a good idea easy let's say you're at a party and you want to make sure someone feels comfortable approaching you what would be good body language I love it okay so what do you want to look for? You and the others are the pivot, so every time you try to approach two or three people, every time they are both facing each other with their toes aligned, you know they are probably not open.

No one else is having a conversation. Don't interrupt them, interrupt them, so when you want to be approached or you want to approach someone else, look for the pivot out, that's when someone is there talking to each other but their body is actually at an angle, their toes are at an angle, that means they are much further away. It's more open to approach and you want to do the same, so if you're talking to someone and you still want people to approach you, make sure you turn towards the room which signals to people that you are open physically and literally, and I would do. i guess you should hang up your cell phone oh my god i hope it goes without saying the worst thing you can do is meet people it's a habit for a lot of people and they assume

anyone

can come up and talk to them but if i see someone on his cell phone I won't go near him and the problem is that when we get nervous and we don't have anyone to talk to, what do we do?

We think, I'm going to detect ten times, right at home. In this bad cycle you have no one to talk to so you pretend to text and then no one comes up to you so what I would say is you are much better off going for a drink you always have something in your hand , it feels. It's better to have something in your hand and stand right where people are leaving the bar or food because that's the sweet spot, that's where everyone says: I don't have anyone to talk to, so be that person who says: Hey , what are you doing?

You're drinking, what did you get? Doesn't this food look great? Hey, hello, how are you? Yes, you got it yourself, very good, Vanessa, as always, we want to tell people if you want to know more about the human lie detection body. language 101 Vanessa vanad Where do you love this video? So give us some love in the comments, like this video and subscribe to our channel.