How To Have A Difficult Conversation | Mel Robbins

There are four techniques I use every time I'm going to

have

a

difficult

conversation

that help me focus on what I need to talk about instead of getting hijacked by my emotions. Number one, I always start the

conversation

by acknowledging my responsibility in the mess we

have

to talk about whether it is the fact that I have avoided dealing with this before or if there is something I have done that has contributed to the situation. I recognize that from the beginning and one of the reasons why that is so important is because by accepting some responsibility, you are diffusing the other person's emotions, you are also honoring them a little and it sets a much more level playing field for when you get into the

difficult

things that you need to talk about, it will also put the person you are talking to a little at ease so that they can listen to you number two you want to have a goal never enter into a difficult conversation without a defined outcome before entering the conversation.

The important thing is that this conversation is going to be a roller coaster, the person you are talking to may get angry, you yourself may feel emotional at some point, whether you are angry, excited or sad, and so on when you go up. the roller coaster of emotions what will stabilize your thoughts is the outcome you are causing you are having this conversation because you are committed to improving the relationship you are having this conversation because this is not working and that is why we must end strong. You're having this conversation because you want to give someone some feedback that's not that fun to say, but you're giving it to them because you're committed to their success.

Okay, so that goal Feel yourself getting excited, you get back to it, you get back to it, you get back to it, third thing, you're going to do a lot in this conversation, you're going to listen and you're going to validate, so you're going to say what you need to say and then the other person is going to react and instead of arguing or debating I want you to listen and I want you to validate what the person is saying it may sound contradictory but it is honestly one of the most powerful things you can do in any conversation, whether you are fighting with your kids because of curfew or arguing with someone at work because of the workload, whatever it is, this is where the person is at the moment when you say "wow, what you're going through must be really difficult." with oh I totally understand why you were avoiding me now if I felt the way you felt I would probably do the same thing the moment you validate someone they immediately stop defending themselves it's amazing really amazing you have to try it validate. validate validate is the most powerful thing and then once of course they feel validated that you've heard them, now they can listen and that's when you come back to the final thing, which is what you're going to repeat, always the result keeps coming back. .

Keep coming back to it and yeah, it's not going to be fun, it's not going to be easy, you're going to have all kinds of emotions because you've been avoiding this conversation, but I'm telling you right now. you find the confidence and courage to go and start this, know your responsibility, have an outcome in mind, validate the other person, validate, validate, validate and keep talking until you reach that outcome. You will be very surprised how easy these things become and if you want to make it even easier for yourself, try it first with another friend, someone who is not involved in the situation because again, difficult conversations come down to one important thing: the ability to separate your emotion in doing it from the things you really need to talk about and the result you want to achieve hey, it's mel, thank you so much for being here if you enjoyed that video, bye, please subscribe because I don't want you to miss anything, Thank you so much for being here, we have a lot of great things coming up.

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