Weekend Update: A Woman Who Insists She's Not Mad - SNL

WELL TOMORROW IS MOTHER'S DAY. HERE WITH SOME GIFT IDEAS TO SURPRISE YOUR MOM IS A MOM WHO SAYS SHE'S NOT ANGRY. HELLO EVERYONE. COLIN. I THINK I'M HERE TO TALK ABOUT MOTHER'S DAY. YEAH! IS EVERYTHING OK? YES. I SAID I'M FINE, SO I'M FINE. THAT'S GREAT. SO YOU'RE HERE TO TALK ABOUT MOTHER'S DAY GIFTS. IF YOU LET ME, YES. AND THE FIRST THING YOU WILL GIVE YOUR MOM ON MOTHER'S DAY IS -- SUNGLASSES? JESUS ​​CHRIST, COLIN, NO. BREAKFAST. BREAKFAST. SUNGLASSES WOULD JUST BE FUN. I WAS GOING TO PUT THEM ON, TAKE THEM DOWN AND SAY, TABLE FOR TWO.

IT IS A SUPPORT. BUT SURE, BRUNCH. TAKE YOUR MOM TO BRUNCH. SORRY. ALSO, IT'S PROBABLY A LITTLE LATE TO GET A BRUNCH RESERVATION NOW. YES, IT PROBABLY IS. How about you let me know when you need me? TEN SIGNS THAT YOUR MAN IS LOVING YOU. GOOD. YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY ANGRY. NO. I AM NOT. ARE YOU CRAZY RIGHT NOW? If anything, you're angry. GOOD. Well, then if you can't get a brunch reservation, maybe you could make your mom breakfast in bed. I LOST MY SHIRT. GREAT IDEA. ARE YOU FOLDING THE CLOTHES NOW? YES. THAT? I'M FINE. YOU DON'T LOOK GOOD.

GOOD. WELL THEN WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME HOW TO BE? BY THE WAY, I WEAR THE BEST I HAVE. THIS WAS MY PROM DRESS. SO THAT? SO THAT? ALSO, HELLO, CHE. I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR FIVE MINUTES. YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME A WORD. I DON'T KNOW YOU. GOOD. I'M GOING. NO. DO NOT GO. PLEASE STAY. WE WOULD ALL LOVE... WE WOULD LOVE TO HEAR YOUR MOTHER'S DAY GIFT IDEAS. PLEASE. PLEASE STAY. TELL US YOUR IDEAS. GOOD. I'LL STAY. BUT ONLY BECAUSE I WANT TO. GREAT. GOOD. THEREFORE, I BELIEVE THAT THE BEST GIFT OF MOTHER'S DAY IS HONESTY.

YOU DON'T LIE TO A WOMAN AND TELL HER YOU'RE HOSTING SNL AND THEN HAVE HER ON THE WORST PART OF THE SHOW, "WEEKEND UPDATE." IS THAT WHY YOU ARE ANGRY? DID YOU THINK YOU WERE A HOST? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HE TOLD ME. I EMAILED AND SAID, IN TOWN, CAN I HOST? AND I IMMEDIATELY RECEIVED A CONFIRMATION EMAIL FROM HIS ASSISTANT. MY ASSISTANT? YES. DAMON MAIL. OH MY GOD. A WOMAN WHO SAYS SHE IS NOT ANGRY. I'M NOT ANGRY! GOOD NIGHT!