Meathead Guide To The Bedroom

what Su you need a trainer you've done it you've done the impossible you've interacted with a public human imp outside the gym this is a very rare phenomenon tonight she doesn't care that you're an unsocialized neanthal sweating through your red dress shirt express or that you're a horrible choice for a roommate tonight, she's giving you the keys to the butt house for an all-inclusive overnight stay, are you interested in the timeshare, yes, I'd like to put that in escrow Share that time with my boys Reggie and Lenny, you need this L, okay, you need this W, you need this victory, you've been telling yourself for years that the only reason you obsessively slave over your body is so girls can find you attractive.

If you don't go out and use that body to get laid, why are you really doing it to impress other brothers? No, you're a play on words. Haw Dog, you're a fucking shark. Werewolf. Jellyfish box. You are a predator. And? What I'm going to do for you is

guide

you through the pitfalls of a one night stand so you can finally prove to yourself that you're not an asexual meat dummy. Well, let's skip the part where you're at the bar screaming Bon Jovy lyrics is this poor girl's face and fast forward until you bring the girl back to your place as soon as you walk through the door, take off your shirt and expose the transitional whisk you've got hidden underneath, man you're ready to party with. oh, sorry, I'm just trying to get you into something a little more comfortable, no big deal, fix that thing, don't worry, real beaters are men's lingerie, you're not just ripping off your shirt like an idiot, you're humbly showing off your muscles with a fine.

Garment named after people who abuse their wives. Don't forget to be a good host. After all, you are inviting a lady to your home. Now you would offer her some food, but all you have is powder or prepared foods that she can. I don't have because that will be all your food PR B, she probably isn't hungry anyway, but you, on the other hand, have been drinking for several hours without eating, so don't be afraid to make yourself a protein shake, girls No. I don't like eating around guys anyway, they're weird because they'll put your stinky dick in their mouth but won't have a couple of cookies in front of you.

They nailed it in the real moment, you know, don't worry about it, really committed. I'm really motivated, you know, I just like to commit things, it motivates you, you want anything, everyone good, you thought it's probably better that you don't have cobs after six, now after you shake your Buzz it might start to disappear, you need do it. being in that drunken sweet spot where you don't have a whiskey dick but you can last at least 10 minutes. This is called cardio because all you need is about 10 minutes for it to count, so without the lady and the nightcap, you both are.

You're going to need it between the protein you just consumed and the fart you're trying to ignore. It gets a little awkward here. Loosen up your scene a little. What are you saying? If she is a civilian, she will take the drink without problem. Don't let this turn into one of those sexless all-night Pour Your Heart Out marathons. You are not a soulmate, you are a coward. Furthermore, the longer you stay, the greater the danger of summoning the orc. Your roommate, he is also a Mead and therefore your enemy will feel it there. was a female present and left his room in his boxes shirtless, he will pretend he needs to get something from the kitchen but don't be fooled, he just wants to be the first shirtless Beast the female sees, don't let this happen expose his weak calves and beat this troll back to the masturbation cave from when she came.

If she is a fitness girl, she will refuse the drink because she is preparing for eternity, so what are you going to do? You're going to drink. just, you're absolutely right, you sneak into the bathroom and shoot a couple of shots, you won't realize how fucked up you are until you look in the mirror, you'll realize it too. How aesthetically pleasing you are at lighting your bathroom, don't miss this opportunity to take a couple of selfies, oh damn, and a few more shots, watch out, although this might be whiskey dick territory and it's because you don't have a boner with your reflection. to play it safe and, uh, take some pre-workout to sober up and maximize blood flow, a couple more AR from downtown Bam Bam Bam Bam tonight we go tonight F tonight mi heart was like a continuous beat I died I died for about 15 seconds There, immediately after, you will need to take a pre-workout of all the protein and the Tequila you just drank.

It's very quiet in your apartment and there's a girl sitting alone wondering what you're doing best and what she's doing, so she tries to do it. be sneaky and she explodes everything at once. Good job shobi, sounds like you just threw a Cind the Block into a cat pool. By now you've been in your apartment for about an hour, and by the grace of God, the girl is still here. and you just consumed pre-workout and you need to lift something, what I'm going to tell you next is very important, pay close attention, get consent, look at you, you embody the term forced, there will be no test, brother, this is it.

You're not in the gym, you're not interacting with the weights, you're interacting with a human being, you never ask the weights, hey, would you like to be lifted, just lift them, you're not used to this kind of thing, it's time to be a man, she is losing interest, but the most important thing is that you are losing your bomb, cordially invite her to be penetrated if she accepts your offer, pick her up and take her to the room, do some repetitions on the way, perfect climate, wave hello hand, bye-bye, honey, you're full of pre-workout and raging hormones, so when you throw her on the bed, be careful not to throw her against the wall, vaporizing her upon impact, okay, you're ready for the hammer of bone, it's time to take your shirt off, taking your shirt off in front of a girl is It's more satisfying for you than really crazy, check the bul, wait until you're at least half a chubby and the lights are off before you take your shirts off pants and expose your licks.

Now I never take off my pants, I just stick my cock out the hole. It's time for some foreplay, start with a light flick of your fingers, this will provide that sick forearm and bicep pump, but don't forget you need an erection too, she's busy, you have a free hand so take this time to masturbate, don't get carried away. Your heart rate has been disconnected from the Pre-Workout. You're punching trying to pump with your shaken arm. Your other bicep turns you on so much that you accidentally let one squeak. Your nut on the carpet. Oops, disgusting! ball, it's okay, you're still at the plate, you were too hard in your first set, it's time for a super set, let's say you managed to group a dribbler in the box and get tough again, don't waste it this time, you're ready.

She just went through 45 minutes of passionless fisting and probably like a bruised uterus she's ready. Pop quiz Do you put a condom on condoms? It goes against all the principles of the

meathead

. You live by an erection. It's a bomb. What's a sick breast pump going to give you? and put a sweater over it, no, but for all you know, this very nice lady you met at a Mr. Frogs wet T-shirt contest could be a baby-hungry Wiccan, a hellish beast thirsty for your muscles. Rich DNA, don't give up your Elite genetics. Finish it, bro, go straight to the Mish, he's literally a push-up, don't waste your time, take him home, dog, you're not equipped to be here for long, you have no cardio, you stopped doing something more than eight reps ago, like this that do what you do. better and max out until you pass out subscribe to my youtube channel new videos including the one you just watched which is pretty new now after committing direct vagde if you are an intellectual gentleman like me you will want to end the night with a good book of mine, the swoly Bible, that's right, your boy who can't read wrote a book, it's basically like the Comm Sutra of the uprising if it were a Bible and it is the swoly Bible, the Bible of the uprising, the capital proof of the New Complete testament with sacred. prints of the first man Adam, sorry, that's Adam, me, that's me, I made them, this book is basically a user manual for life, you have a flat tire, who cares, go to the gym, I'm going Learn your ass how to make profits inside and out.

The Gym, the book, comes out November 1st wherever books are sold, wherever books are sold, but it's available for pre-order right now, which is like the pre-order workout. I'm going to be level with you here, man, you gotta book this, man. I owe him a lot of money, a dark people, a man, a dark people, they are going to break my kneecaps, they are going to feed me to the worms, the man to the bookworms, have you ever seen a bookworm? library, is it huge?