Craig Ferguson Laugh Attacks - Fresh New Compilation 2018 #1

Avenues, have you ever seen a ghost? Yes, really, yes. I lived in a really haunted house in North Carolina for three years. Really, what kind of ghost was he? I think it was a boy. I think it was a little ghost the way it would run across the ceiling could it be a possum tootsie fruitie take apart okay Betty um okay we have a game we like to play here what's his name Jeff his name is guess my weight sorry for

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Benny I was just that that was too fast I didn't tell you I was going to do it that skeleton man okay then we like to play a game coach yes Mike wait Jefferson West Lafayette Indiana says Deer Creek Jeff and the secretary mild or hot sauce for me hot Jeff, so you can see and for you, oh no, no hot sauce, let me see no hot sauce, that's so stupid.

Hi Craig and Jeff, my roommates and I played a drinking game. Should we have to have a drink every time Liam Neeson's Sean Connery or a Michael Caine impersonation appears on your show? Does this seem worrying to you? I tied my jacket. Oh, Jeff, quick, there's no time to drink it. Yeah, I think it's probably better if you drink it to the last drop. I don't like sauce, but if I have a little sauce, I don't like it, but if I ever do, well, after you pay, don't get spicy sighs, but that's okay, this is from Steve in New Orleans, Louisiana , yeah, go to New Orleans, have you ever been there. what you scheduled there is what they call the for oh yeah, it's been depressed without Jeff oh hell yeah, I go at least once a year, really, yeah, do you have a place I stay a little dolled up? ?

Down there you can dance, enjoy, I would love to, it's a great idea. We could, what are you doing down there? go fishing yeah we go fishing and then we throw beads at people we take off their clothes we go swimming just do me together so like what we do here is basically okay this is from Mark at La Costa California, says dear Craig. I hope you do not mind. I have a question just for Jeff, oh not at all, this is for you Jeff, oh you can read it yourself. No honey, you asked me to play the harmonica, it's okay, that was a little insensitive, I'm sorry, it's okay, this is for you, says Jeff, would you consider going to the movies with me on Saturday night?

I'm there, girlfriend, I'm glad I can be of help, this is how it is. from Barney in Edinburgh Scotland oh have you ever been in a Dodger oh yeah that's okay oh man that's okay this is cool from Jenny and Concord New Hampshire who said dear Craig I'm looking for a great summer vacation for once you have some? dollars to spend any suggestions, come on Jeff, you have places all over where we ended up, where would you suggest for a great summer vacation? If you have a little money, welcome to my house in New Hampshire: inflation, you have Charlotte, I want to come up with different words for things that's what I think I'm going to do that will be a point abort oh no no a point a point yes yes worry about some point a point a yes exactly the contest was famous for saying if you want something to be said Ask a man if he wants something done to you, ask a woman, that's true, but I would like to add that if you don't want to Absolutely nothing, nothing is said or done, it will be correct, it will be fine.

Noise. Big joke, right? Kostik could be professional. if you want something to be if you want something to be said ask a man if you want something to be done as a government if you want absolutely nothing to be said or done ask a cat there are other types of food can you do jiu-jitsu and yoga and those things? Can I do a good amount of those things? Would you do it in your own life? I mean, do you have a jiu-jitsu car? Neither of us would use a combination of stand jus yoga like No, I mean it was a Jesuit Order aesthetic oh. man I would have gone with you yeah I took the wrong path so I got myself into a whole mess of trouble well this gentleman sent me a tweet saying watch out Icarus is your name no it's actually a reference to a greek mythological story, that's what I said wrong, I have to say a very attractive studio audience and the gentleman over there with a small van Dijk br-2 said whoo yes user no who did I mean, of course you are very attractive .

I love that upside down head look. now be careful it sounds like a bad sin movie or something like that with Icarus be careful Icarus don't fly too close to the sun with your wax wings with your wax wings in your truck father I can't live by your rules I want to look like me The head is on upside down while flying upside down, it will seem like my head is the right way in a situation where you would have to be careful, but when your husband was here, yeah, talking about Texas, so maybe it was because he loves Austin, yeah, Yes, it's great, I like it.

You I just don't know how to explain it, don't move there, nobody move there please, but I just can't explain why it works, it just has its own vibe and it's just a delicious hot sauce, really, yeah , it's like that. a code that you give me like what takes off my shirt no, I could do it, I could do the Seas back, you know, what I could do is have a special word, I love eggs, really, don't ask yourself this, Chuck, If I can call you that, sir. . Norris ask yourself this, what will happen to poor Secretariat if I'm all her tea on my legs?

Listen, I can hear the horse

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ing. I'm telepathic like the horse whisperer. I know when horses are happy. Okay, okay, they can't. You love to clap, don't you? Yes, it is excessive. Wow, it's like oh, it's our time to shine again. It's not just a few people, so we have to applaud again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, so Jimmy, what are you doing? We would like you to open. some oysters for us please ok I'm telling you the first one won't be the last go ahead because I'm actually allergic to oysters but now tell me honestly I've never had an oyster you've never had many actually , no, I heard.

They are delicious, you have to do what to do so that the peel doesn't get in your mouth. You take it like this, you put your lips on it and you kiss it like this, you make a little noise. Oh, that was good, but you didn't chew. Okay, sir. Ad You were sweating next to Mr. I'm sweating just thinking about it, but you were cruel, you made me an oyster and now you have to do something for me, okay, I'll have to eat this pepper, oh no, you know, this parrot, I don't want to know this one. played that one you have to eat it just like take a bite in the middle what do you mean someone in the middle like yeah and then eat it and make sure it's?

Oh, what's up? Milk, we need milk, oh yeah, okay, not short. together very well Oh, thinking about it, I really made a little side dish, mother said anyway, my next guest is an actor, he is a musician and a magician, he doesn't know about the magician thing, yes, so don't bring him home, he does not. I know that he is the magician, that is the wonder of magic, he is an actor, he is a musician, right, you have them on the ropes, sir. Welcome everyone, it's me, but I thought I'd go to karaoke. I didn't go to karaoke that day, but that night I dreamed that I was going to karaoke and when I went to the karaoke booths that I usually do.

Go to I opened the door and Jeff Goldblum was in the room singing and then the next day I got an email saying the other guest on the show was going to be Jeff: and I literally freaked out like I couldn't even make this up, yeah. That's what you met him backstage, yeah, and I told him a story and he cried, actually he didn't cry, but he felt like he wanted in, right, I'll say oh no, yeah, try it, did you know? Thank you for saying that, my God. may return it's the JK Rowling show please welcome the first female president of Harvard University ms.

Lady, you think, Gregg, go away, this is going very badly. Gregg started hearing voices in his head, including mine Morgan Freeman, but not Morgan Freeman for legal reasons. Craig looked at the lights wondering how long this part would last, how long. he could continue before he finished the segment before he could get home and enjoy that ham sandwich with mayonnaise and lettuce. Everyone knows I don't like lettuce. Greg had lunch with her and her mom with a delicious ham sandwich but no lettuce because he doesn't like lettuce maybe a little bit of I'm done man we make each other laugh yeah I thought for a minute you know what I thought it was oh, oh, that, oh, I know, I know, yeah, Jay Leno's and Jay Leno fly, that's what I thought was going to happen I think it's a very good choice fabulous thanks Loggins oh well, I'm fine, no one knows worry about me where you're going now, you'll only get Footloose to take my Sunday shoes off, that was yeah, yeah, good boy. with a hockey mask and bears or a bear with a hockey mask runs for your life, yes, yes, you see a bear where not, as if you are walking anywhere and not even in countries, like an even in the hinterland , if so, if it is a bear.

He approached me, we are in a hockey mass. I would say: what the hell wouldn't you give him? Yes, because the beer is pretty bad, but the best, yes. I have a bear trying to dress up. You know that bear is awake. It's no good because you can't see what's going on, you can't see, you can't see the Bears expression, is he leaving or is he leaving? My classmates have expressions, right? Only about you, there are really only a few. bear expressions, well, are they okay, there's this one, wait, wait, and then there's this man, it's like I'm in the company of a skinny bear, who is our next guest, Klaus, why am I around?

I don't want to be around, okay. I'll be around no, I want to be Herman, okay, you'll be his moon, right, you'll be Klaus, who is our next guest. Herman, it's Klaus, I've been laughing too hard for some time now, yes, this is the best time I've ever had. I've had in Germany I'm so excited right now I'm cock-a-hoop who's our first guest Herman I'm Klaus let me tell you okay I'm Herman very good in German he says dear Craig this is an important question what's the best American cartoon to watch when you're enjoying some homemade cigarettes.

I wasn't sure I fully understood your meaning. I like Betty Boop. I don't know the way to do that kind of thing in black and white, can I do it? It scares me a little I enjoy the simple pleasures of talking candy, don't beat some you made me, oh you don't enjoy the simple pleasures of candy either, whenever resources open access, this always happens to me, sometimes our records are touched anyway. yes, Aaron Rock Springs Wyoming says dear Craig and Robin, my friends and I are starting a punk band, but we can't agree on a name, what do you think we should call ourselves?

Oh, is it an all-girl band? Yes, let's say they are media. Well today I went and very recently I was in a bar in Scotland and in rural Scott with the bathroom and there was a sign, one of these public notice signs on the terrace and it's short, Tina, it was a drawing of teenagers dancing and you know. about to have sex and it said everyone is outside, including the chlamydia ward, your dad is here, the man upstairs, but we didn't know, I thought of a medical dictionary, name versus sister, gonorrhea, come here girl, oh , there I see, go a little easier, it sends you spam. you know, you know it's too early oh no wait, you can make haggis I guess that's right, right, this is a vegetarian haggis oh yeah, it's great when your cheeks explode, that's what I call it chlamydia.

I love your Hi Bobby, go find me the kitties with chlamydia, bad chlamydia, that's the one you don't want to have on speaker, media like Twitter, phone C, chlamydia, okay. Happy Thanksgiving, heck, it was a zen cat never dabbled between a kitten and a cat.