KIM KARDASHIAN OPENS UP About Insecurity, Healing Your Pain, & Finding HAPPINESS | Jay Shetty

Wait a minute. I'm trying to make everyone happy. I'm doing all this for everyone else, but I let myself focus on myself for a second and then it seemed like everyone else was happier. The best-selling author and presenter. the number one Health and Wellness podcast on purpose with Jay Shetty when was the last time you went somewhere where someone didn't know who you were or was there actually a time when someone told you who you are what you like when was it? The last time you had an interaction like that, you know what Japan is like.

You know everyone is very respectful, even if they recognize you, they don't ask for photos and it's a really amazing experience. I think it's important that you know how to simply listen. I love my life I love everything that comes with it I'm not complaining but a little glimpse of it I think especially for the little ones it's very good Yes, no, That's right, it's definitely a beautiful experience. I think it's nice for everyone to sit down. wanted and loved and then also feeling invisible, yes, as if we almost longed for both. I was thinking about that today.

You're always surrounded by film crews and you know you have like 352 million people following you on Instagram. I wonder if you ever do it. Do you prioritize alone time? Do you have alone time and what does that look like? I get up really early my morning workout really is my I don't want to say therapy session because it's not like I'm really communicating things but even if I'm calm and in my zone that's my mental health check in every morning. I love exercising, it keeps me sane. I can't say it enough, that's my time in the morning and then as soon as everyone starts getting up for school. madness happens and it's about two hours of madness from getting four kids ready in the morning and feeding them out the door.

Aunt to school. I leave school every day and then I have a little bit of time, I would say about 20 minutes driving back to where I just play my music loud, I don't take any calls, that's my alone time. I love it and then I come home and start my full work day and I'm engaged and focused and then the craziness of bath time, bed time, dinner time. and once four babies are asleep and I appreciate that time of night when everyone is asleep and I can watch any show I want and have some alone time, so I take time for myself.

I think it's very important, yes, you absolutely said something beautiful. before I started recording and I definitely want to go in that direction because you were talking about the different platforms and how you can show different parts of

your

self, but you came here because there was something specific and I would love to hear that because I want to go in that direction with you I love

your

podcast I've watched it and I've watched it I think I love seeing the reels that come up with just a quick message that will get you through the day and remind you of You, who you are, remind you of what you need to find and see on that moment and that day and carry you through the day.

Yeah, so I think it's important for people to express how they feel and who they are a little bit deeper and what it is. in your heart and I think that's what this podcast is about, yeah, and I think thank you for trusting me, I really value it and I don't take it for granted, but the interesting thing about it is that I feel like there's a beautiful The statement in the Japanese culture says that we have three faces, one face that we show to the world, the second phase that we show to our friends and family and the third face that no one sees and I wonder when you talk about your values ​​and who you are, what is ? the part of you that you think no one can see in all these other places that you want to share today um all my faces, but I think people choose what they want to take away from you.

I share my journeys that there have been challenges, whether it's law school and different projects and starting a business and all that, I definitely include it throughout, but I think every time you have the opportunity to express yourself in a more meaningful way. I think that's always a good thing. to do, especially because I'm a big fan of you and what you stand for and who you are, so I always love to share my advice and everything that I've learned along the way because God knows it's not easy, yeah, like it is being a father. Family dynamic relationships are so difficult, it's so difficult, it's really interesting.

You say that because when I was talking to your mom, she said that about you, she said that you are the right person for anyone in your family, no matter how busy you are. you're going to go completely out of your way, she was telling me about a particular incident, but she was just saying that you're just going to dive into everyone's book on the flight, get everyone there to reach out to that person, help them support them and even when it's someone. that she's not directly connected to you but she's indirectly connected and yes I'm sure you know what I'm talking about but the idea that it was you that you went that far and when I heard that about you from her I was thinking that it takes so much compassion and Be careful on your part and those are not two words that on some of the other platforms that people can hear about you, but that's what I'm getting from talking to your mother about you and I'm wondering how you feel. families are the cause of so much stress for people, it's the cause of so much anxiety for people and like you said, it's hard how you've continued to lean on compassion and caring even when it's easier to compare, criticize and complain well with The family, I mean.

I was always raised like it doesn't matter that blood is thicker than water, there are no other options, so we definitely go through our things as sisters, there are no other options, we'll figure it out like we're family, we're sisters, we'll figure it out and I . I think you just have to do it. I think also comes more compassion with age and the more things you've been through and I especially think my heart has opened up a lot in that space just spending time even with people behind bars that I'm struggling with. because and you may not even have had the slightest idea what someone has been through or even understood taking the time to listen to people more than maybe talk and talk about yourself and my compassion has just grown and my empathy has grown to another level.

I can't really judge people by their pace when they choose to really want to delve into their own compassion and empathy and when people choose to grow and evolve, but it's so nice to have people who support that journey and grow with you because once you realize that this life really isn't about you and it's about helping as many people as you can. All these doors open up for you and your mind just

opens

up and it's a great place to be when you feel like you have enough. When you chase things for so long and when you feel content, it's a good place to be and it's a place that allows for a lot more compassion, I think and I want everyone to go back and hear that, but I feel like you. you just beautifully defined compassion and I'm going to try to reiterate what you just said, yeah, it was just that was very well said because I think people think of compassion as caring and you just define it by rhythm and I think when you're patient the rhythm. to which people grow and evolve, that's actually compassion, there's nothing worse when someone is so awake and they're on this therapy journey and they expect you to be there with them, but it's beautiful to sit back and watch people make mistakes learn from their mistakes grow and evolve and simply be there to hold their hand and support them.

I think that's what anyone would want. I've seen so many people on these self-help journeys who just aren't that happy, you know, and I think you just have to sit back and do what works for you and move at your own pace and understand that it's okay that you're not on the same level as them. another person, yeah, I mean, I'm like that. It's like everything happens the way it's supposed to. I just love people on their own journeys and I never try to be so preachy or think that someone has to be in my shoes and at the level that I have evolved to, it's great when your friends have the same kind of epiphanies as you and you want the same things, but sometimes that's not the case.

Yes, yes, you definitely brought two things to mind. One was what true love is like when you really love your family. I don't love them because they change, yes you are patient with them while they try to change, that's love, because they may or may never make it to the other side and the other thing that came to mind is something my teachers often told me. The monk teaches that it was often repeated to me that you are never trying to take someone to the next step in your journey, you are trying to take them to the next step in their journey, yes, and I think you are so right that when we are doing self-employment , we constantly preach to other people about the things we want to hear, yes, and the things we want to do, yes, and self-employment can be as different for so many people, you know, as my morning workouts.

I swear that's my personal job, my car ride every day blasting the music I want to like, that's my meditation, that's my zone and that works for me, you know when I need help and I need help to discover different things of parenting and different methods. that I can use, I'll reach out and I'll get the help I need when I need it, for sure, but I also believe that there's no one right approach to what works for everyone, you know, whatever works for you is good for you, yeah, Yeah. Absolutely absolutely I feel like when people see you and even now you're speaking you have so much confidence in yourself or your inner voice that it's not about you.

I don't think you're saying I always get it. true or this is the only way what you're really saying is that I've learned to trust my voice and I'm wondering if there was a time when you didn't trust that voice or can you remember the first time you started hearing it? It's like I remember that the first time I really started listening to my voice deeply was probably when I was 14 and that's when I could hear this voice inside of me that was like Jay, this is who you are, this is what you care about. . it's what matters to you, you don't need to be this or be that or do it this way and I remember I started listening to it then and now that inner voice is very strong, yes it's always there but I wish I had listened to my inner voice.

The voice said 14. Well, do you remember when you started because when I hear you now you say yes? I feel very comfortable with people being themselves and I feel comfortable with who I am, which is beautiful, but when I feel like a lot of people want to live that way, but that's what we all struggle with. It definitely didn't come up right away. You know, I was a people pleaser and making decisions based on other people's

happiness

for so long and I would honestly say that in the last few years definitely in my 40s, you know, I figured it out just by following my

happiness

, which I really think It was an important place to reach because I always put other people's happiness before my own and that's not the case.

It means you ignore other people's feelings and it doesn't mean you don't care and love them but it's a great place to be when you finally put yourself first and I will say that took a long time and that was like trusting other people to have confidence in business decisions and it's great to have your team and that you always like to exchange ideas and make sure that you are collectively choosing the right option and working for you, but there is true confidence when you feel that you are making the right decisions , you know you've got it, you're thinking of yourself first and not just in a selfish way but protecting your heart, it feels really good and I might not have gotten there until I was literally 40 years old.

And? Do you think it was in the last few years that you had to turn to that thing that pushed you there? I have never been an unhappy person. I am always very happy with what surrounds me. I don't need people to make me happy. I'm never really looking for something. I'm very happy. My babies make me happy. My family. My life. You know, experiences make me happy, but when you look around you and there's tension and stress, that's just not necessary in work, in relationships, in friendships. and you just decide to sit still and not try to please everyone, it becomes very clear and you realize that you just want to be happy and you want to share this life and these experiences with your group of people that you trust and love and who are super loyal like life is always going to be stressful and you can't control half of it, but if you can control what you do and how you react to all the stresses in life and your response to all of that and realize that it could eliminate a lot From those tensions by making yourself happy first and choosing yourself, then you know you are on the right path and once I did that and once I chose to choose myself and be happy, so many opportunities opened up that I had never known before.

I thought in a million years it would come my way. It seemed clear as day that the Universe was rewarding me for choosing myself and elevating myself, like getting to the next level in the video game, like I had to get here and I was always kind of here. in my processgrowth and once I chose myself it was like, oh my God, the whole universe is opening up for you and all these opportunities are coming my way and those were the confirmations that I was going in the right direction. I remember telling him that. One of my sisters thought, "Oh my God, this is crazy.

I had this opportunity." opportunity this is changing this is changing and it seemed like all these amazing things started happening in my life when I only took a second I still realized wait one minute I'm trying to make everyone happy I'm doing all these things for everyone Everyone else, except me, was allowed to refocus on myself for the second time and then it seemed like everyone else was happier because everything was falling into place. and it was like I saw it as clear as day and that wanted to push me and motivate me to do it.

To continue to be happy and do what I wanted to do instead of what other people wanted to do and that was like a good feeling that really showed me that I was making the right decisions. I am very happy for you, thank you. You are genuinely and it's a good place to be when you are genuinely a happy person you know there are no complaints, yeah, not taking things too seriously, not taking yourself too seriously is also a little key to happiness, yeah, I think the energy that is wasted on worrying about something versus working to fix it or solve it, yes you can just worry, worry, if you worry about something it's not going to change the outcome, let's just find a solution, say what the problem is, don't complain I'm not a complainer so it's like let's just get to the solution let's figure it out and move on there is absolutely nothing worse when you complain every step of the way yeah and it's natural and easy but we all know that doesn't catch you. where do you want to go, yeah, and I think that's a big reason, what is it?

I'm wondering with what you were saying, one of the biggest things that came out when you were talking about family and the people in your life and you were talking about your life like chat like there's this loyalty is such a value to you, yeah, Throughout your life, it seems like, what have you learned about people that you wish you had learned sooner? Was there something that you started to learn and recognize patterns in people and that has done to you? It will be better than now, but you wish you were like ah, if I had learned this a couple of years earlier than it could have saved me a lot of the stress and challenges that arose, don't take anything personally.

I have been truly blessed to have a great solid. relationships I have the same group of best friends we went to preschool together we talk every day my best friend is my best friend since the day I grew up you know when I was born the people I work with my family my sisters but my best friends sisters also you know and everyone that I trust one hundred percent everyone is so loyal one hundred percent that you can't come up to me and tell me something about one of my friends if someone said oh this person said this about you and they're in my circle, It wouldn't be like that at all.

I would trust that 100 percent and I think that's very rare or what I've seen is very rare and I feel very lucky to love everyone around you, trust everyone around you. They trust you, my friends know they can call me at any time. I will be the first to answer and help. All my friends would drop everything to help me in a situation and have that true support and love. I think it's everything. Life is about having loyal people who support you and I think you can also say a lot about a person who has really long-lasting relationships and that stability.

When I'm looking to hire people, I look at their previous jobs and how long they've had those relationships. Think about it and think about it, if there is someone who is jumping from job to job, obviously other situations could arise, but I value people who have long-lasting relationships with other people, whether it's their employer or their family, and that's very Important for me. Do all my friends have really important relationships in their lives? I think that says a lot about you and the family because I wonder what it takes to maintain a relationship like that when you're on a rocket ship.

I feel like all of us deal with changes in our lives, transitions, family and friends that we want to keep, but it becomes increasingly difficult, especially when there is success, when there is envy, when there is competition and sometimes it's not because someone doesn't love you or doesn't love you. Worrying about you is so natural in the world we live in and so what does it really take? Because I think this will help a lot of people. What does it really take to hold on to someone you love and continue through all the noise and all the challenges and all the stress that comes with it, what does it really take?

Because, but then there are those friends you don't have to talk to every day. I mean, thank goodness for group chats where you can jump in and hear something really quickly, you know? but your real best friends will also support you and it takes mutual respect because what my friends do, if they have something that's important to them, it's just as important for me to show up for them as it is for them. to introduce themselves to me, I might have a more colorful life and a bigger event that I ask them to attend, but that doesn't mean yours isn't just as important, so I think just having that mutual respect in treating people. with respect it's a fact, I really believe that someone is such a solid person when they have really solid relationships based on love and relationships can be different things, you know, sometimes you have your group of friends that you love to go on vacation with and then sometimes you know your other friends that you work with really well every relationship can be different if you just have mutual respect across the board that's the number one thing yes it takes two yes it takes two , that is the point. you're not going to be able to create it or falsely cling to someone who doesn't want to give you that respect completely, yeah, it's not going to happen, yeah, you talked about fatherhood before and you mentioned a few times and I wonder how come you don't have kids, right?

I'm still not well. We will have this conversation again. Yes absolutely. That's what I'm asking. That's what I'm doing. Questions for parents. What was your vision of what? Did you think it was going to be parenthood versus what it really is? Everyone says that the days are long and the years are short and that couldn't be a truer statement, so when you're in this, I mean especially when they're babies and you're feeding and you're there, there's madness, it's like total madness, it's the best. chaos although like my mornings you have no idea what's going on it's like I always have to do one of my daughters hair and it has to be perfect and it has to be a certain way and then he needs me to put his shoes on and everyone needs you It's like total madness to you and everyone to cook running around like I'm wild that's why I need to exercise in the morning just to prepare for the two hours of madness, I would say that being a father is what has taught me the most about myself, it's been The most challenging thing, there are nights I cried myself to sleep, like what just happened, you know, with all the moods and personalities and sometimes they're fighting and there's no one there, I'm the one playing the police. good cop and bad cop, so it's definitely a challenge when you know something I'm working on is being a little more assertive, you know?

There's nothing that can prepare you, nobody, anyone who says, oh, we're waiting to have X amount of money in the bank, oh, we're waiting to have a house before we have kids, oh, I'm waiting for this job to come sooner. we have kids I don't care how long you wait I don't care what you're waiting for you're never ready but you'll find out and it will make you feel so proud of yourself for figuring it out and for I spent the day and sometimes it's the nights where we just go hour after hour to see if we will survive.

Night after night, if a tantrum comes, oh my God, your life is completely turned upside down but it teaches you so much more. about you than I think any parent could have anticipated. I mean, there are nights when you don't wash your hair for days as a mom and you've sped up and you're wearing the same pajamas, you know? and there is simply nothing that can prepare you for this experience, it is the most challenging rewarding job on this planet, when was the moment you looked at your baby's face and said: I want to run away?

I need to hide for a night every night. I'm just kidding, no, yes, no, thank you. I mean, it's honest. I think there's a little bit of truth in that sentiment that a lot of parents have the hardest thing when you look at their kids. faces and you had one of those moments where you were learning these lessons what was the hardest lesson you had to learn about yourself that made you say wow! I hadn't seen it before if it weren't for that kid. I wouldn't have seen that, yeah it happens all the time. I always think that everything in life comes to us to teach us something and it is a really difficult task when you have four children and you know that they all want to be put to bed. at the same time by the same person and everyone wants to do it individually and have that experience and no one wants to wait and I'm locked in a room with kids banging on the door because they want me to put them to bed and I It's like I can't cut myself into four pieces so We're going to have to schedule this and we come up with a show and none of them want to listen to the show and then they all start crying and that's like a typical night, you know, so I like to sit them outside my only daughter's door. and I say, "I'll pick you up next." We are doing this for 15 minutes and they can't be patient and are hitting. the door

opens

, five minutes have passed, you know, it's like those nights are every night, big school projects, big things that are happening and they don't understand that I work or that I also have a school schedule or you know things that kids never they will understand. so I think it's those nights where you can't split up and you have to work with what we have and try to bribe two of them to go to bed at the same time, you know, I think unless you're a

pain

in the ass.

I like a lot of respect for parents, a lot of respect for people who are not parents and who want to live their life freely, enjoy it while you can. I was at Easter in Palm Springs and I looked at my mom's house and she had the table set for all her kids, all her grandkids and we all stayed at her house and I thought it's a forever thing, it's not like, hey, okay, you're 18 years old and you're alone, it's a forever thing and we're. We are 40 years old and we still go up to her and fight and ask my mom to solve everything and I look at her and say: how did you do it?

Personally, I can't wait for my kids to get a little older. Everyone likes to be very afraid of the teenage phase. I'm very excited about that. Play this out when you're a teenager, but I see the relationship I have with my mom and I knew the relationship she had with my dad and how comfortable we were. We were talking to them about all our problems and all our friend stuff and all the drama and all the high school stuff and even the stuff I talked to my mom about now and how open I am about life and relationships. and how close I am.

We are even if we didn't make it as children. I can look at her now and say. I understand it as a mother, now as an adult. Now I know why you made those decisions and I love having that relationship and that's why I wanted to have four children. I saw my mom, you know, and my dad had four together before she had my two little sisters and I loved the big family and I always knew I wanted to have four children and I love our relationship with her very much. and my grandmother and I just can't wait to have that with my kids.

I can't wait until they are old enough to understand so many things that I will never be able to explain to them now that one day they will and we can laugh. about that, that's so beautiful, yes, you reminded me of a beautiful old saying that says that the day you realize that your parents were right, your children tell you that you are wrong, it's true, yes, and it's like that idea of ​​just when you're a little kid that you like, you adore your mom, at least I did them until you were 13, then you become a teenager and you think you're too cool for your mom, yeah, and then in my time, Yes, I have contracts with myself.

Like you're never going to leave me, we always have to be best friends, you'll never be too cool for me and they always say yeah, yeah, I'm like you can live with me at 20, at 30, never move out, they said it's good. They have signed the contract, yes, yes, and they have no idea that they will violate it, yes, everything will be fine, yes, you will not sue them, yes, but I wonder how in your position you know what you just described. It's what so many people go through and like you said, it's very difficult for them to experience that, but when you're expanding things like the paparazzi or like you say that, when you're in Japan, it's like you don't have that experience.

And that was very nice for the children, how to explain to them the nuances of the life that you lead. I assume many of your friends also have similar lives, but I'm sure you have some friends who don't. I don't have parents like you and so how do you help them reconcile or what kind of things do you talk to them or what can they understand at this age and howit's you? Well, that will have to wait. talk to my children about anything they want to ask me. I am very open and honest with my children.

I think that's the only way to be and it could be things that maybe you don't understand and I'll wait to find the right time to talk about it. I think they grew up seeing the cameras and they grew up seeing that even when they were babies, you knew we were going out. and there would be paparazzi, so it's not something they really recognize much, but you know my daughter is very vocal, she will tell them when she doesn't want them around and to leave her alone and to stop, and I love that they use their little voices but also They have such a normal life in such a different life away from all that too and that's why I love that my sisters and I had babies at the same time so they can be together and have these experiences. together absolutely, when I'm, you know all the words that come out of you are like togetherness, loyalty, it's amazing to see it as a family, but I think what you did next, when I saw you do this, it really touched me.

When I saw you move in the direction of Justice Reform and use your voice and your training as a lawyer to make these changes in the world because I discovered that you know that there is a natural sense of survival as a family. but then when you start to take into account the survival of others, there is an extension of love and you know what goes out into the world and yeah, I think that was really special to see, so this podcast had a purpose for a reason because I think that everyone seeking their purpose, would you say it was an expression of purpose or absolutely?

I mean, I think it's one of those moments where I happen to be looking on social media and seeing a case that I just didn't understand and I'm always a very curious person, so I'll never let something go if it weighs on my heart no. At least try to find out how it happened. I've always been very interested in criminal things, solving things and figuring things out, so when I saw a woman's case that just didn't make sense to me. I was really curious and I sent this little video that showed up on my Twitter to lawyers that I knew very well who could answer questions for me and then when it seemed like I couldn't just sit there, it really weighed on my heart when I felt like it was so unfair. .

I didn't know there were thousands of cases that were so unfair. I just thought, oh wow, like I have to help with this. person and then when I was successful in doing that on my journey, I realized that there are a lot more people like this and I can't not do something and I think that also goes with whatever comes to you on your own. Pacing for your own learning levels is what it should be because that came to me. I didn't feel like looking for that and that changed my life and changed who I am.

I just can't sit back and watch this happen to other people. They don't deserve their freedom. I believe that everyone is on their own path and things will come to you when you need to be elevated to that level of growth and I am very grateful for those experiences because I definitely believe that that is my purpose. What internal changes did you see in yourself that maybe you didn't see before when you started doing this work? What did you have to deal with internally? Was there anything you had to go through inside? Yeah, what were those things that I would say?

I always felt like I was a compassionate and caring person and always cared about people's feelings, but my level of empathy was on a completely different level when I started. I could have been much more critical and would think that someone who was behind bars, especially for a very prolonged or serious crime, of which they were probably absolutely guilty. He had no compassion. I was just very judgmental and then when I started hearing about these cases and people's backstories, I realized that a lot of people really didn't. I didn't have the opportunities to be better and I didn't know it.

It really changed my whole life and my level of empathy is very different than it was years ago and I think that's why I fight so hard for people to have second chances. because people make really bad decisions and make really bad mistakes, in some ways worse than other people, but if you never get the chance to change, that's really sad, especially if you make a really bad decision when you're a teenager and then you're in your 40s. . and you don't have any opportunity to change when in reality maybe you already have so much that it was very important for me to express that and help people who have made those changes and I love the way I am.

I assume it when you do something. so in outer space it applies to your whole life where suddenly you're so right that I don't think we're even people behind bars. I think we all judge people all the time, yeah, and when you're almost doing it in such an extreme way and increasing your empathy in such an extreme environment, now you can extend that and express it to a lot more people, yeah, because you had to. do it in a way where you thought, oh, definitely, that person deserves it. Yeah, and suddenly you start to realize that maybe they didn't deserve it, yeah, so maybe we don't deserve it.

I think you know this, but at all levels of Life of Judgment I used to judge people and I liked their relationships and how people. They lived their lives and now I'm like whatever makes you happy, why should we judge who we are to say how people should live their lives? My judgment is that I don't know if it comes with age, experience or just going through it. a lot of things, but just be happy, you know? Isn't life about experiences that make people feel heard, seen and appreciated and just feeling gratitude for the things in life that we are lucky enough to have and work for and are surrounded by the Las people we love are, that's a real success, yes, you know, I agree and I feel like a lot of people start to get better at that with the Judgment out, but one of the things that people struggle with the most is with the Judgment in his head. and I wonder if you ever realize that you judge yourself and you're hard on yourself and you're heavy and hard on yourself yeah, you've been able to give that up.

I will be competitive with myself. I think I'm really a competitive person but I'm pretty, I'm pretty easy on myself. Wow, that's amazing. I was always very calm, very calm. That is a real achievement. Yes, and I'm sure you see people judging themselves all the time. Yes. I was having some coffees. for my team a couple of months ago or something and I remember I was paying the cashier and she gave me the change and I was grabbing the change to leave and she was like wait, wait, I'm so stupid, I'm so stupid , I made a mistake on the shift and I thought I didn't even notice and I looked and said, oh, okay, like he was saying you're not stupid, like he makes mistakes easily, you could see the look on his face like he was was judging herself. so harshly over something so small and I guess when you see people judging themselves, how do you respond to that or how do you honestly support them?

I haven't really experienced much, that's fantastic, yeah, that's amazing and I love hearing that. because I think it's very true that you can select and create a community around you that has similar values, yes, and then I hardly even see a lot of determination and a lot of creativity, a lot of hard work, like if I went on vacation with my friends, We would all probably get up at six in the morning and we would all want to exercise. I don't think there's a single girl who's like, I'm sleeping until 10 and it's not working, you know, so I think obviously everyone around you is different and has different personalities, but I think a lot of my main friends are like-minded, yeah and sometimes that positive peer pressure can be really healthy too yeah even if you have that friend that's struggling as soon as you get added to that group you totally see the melody that I've seen with so many of my friends that totally , even if there is one person who is struggling with something as soon as in that group, yes, all of a sudden you start to see them break their ceiling, yes, and that changes for them, yes.

I think something I've learned maybe the hard way because I feel like I'm in a really good place now. where the people in my life feel really solid. I think this is the first time in my life. Obviously I've had very long relationships with my friends since elementary school, but something I learned is that you can't help people who don't. You want help and no, you can't force your beliefs and project them onto someone who thinks something totally different and it's okay to have those different points of view, that's why the world goes around, you know that, but if you don't align yourself on the same thing. values, morals and fundamental things, then it's okay to realize that this life is very short and that you have to go and find people who match what you really believe and I think sometimes there are so many things going on that you can be blinded by so many others. things that if you don't stop to think about what someone's true values ​​and morals are and how they want to live their life, a lot of other things happen, so I don't blame people who don't really do it.

Stop and think about those things. I mean, those are some of the lessons I would teach my kids when looking for friends, partners, and relationships. Yes, you can't really impose things on other people that you can't expect them to do. where you are at your level and sometimes that could really coexist very well but sometimes it really can't, you have to let go of the idea of ​​molding people into what you want, think about if there is something about yourself that you really want to change expectations To take on something and think you're going to get a different result or think you have the power to change someone is so selfish and so crazy and everyone does it and everyone has to learn on their own and that's something I've always liked to sit on. , help my friends, give them advice, but never put pressure on them because even if I told them, "don't go down that path," believe me, I've been there, they don't want to go there and they say it's okay. and they follow you and go down a different path they will never learn that lesson they have no idea what I'm talking about you know I could tell you things about parenting all day with all due respect you have no idea until I've been through this.

I welcome people's journeys and their lessons and I will always be there for the people I love to help them get through that, but they have to go through it to grow on their own. What is the most important lesson you learned? from your mother that you are trying to pass on to the children. I think she makes people feel really heard and welcomed. She really is the warmest and most welcoming person and it's just like her in general, it seems superficial but it's not like her party planning. skills, it's not even that, it's just the welcome, I don't even know if these are words I'm saying, but just her ability to be so warm and make everyone feel like they're invited here.

I'm going to create this as a special Easter dinner with the things on the table that she had when we were little at my dad's house, like she had all these really special nostalgic things around all the time and always tried to make everyone they felt so special, but with like a gathering so that everyone feels comfortable and can hang out like she loved the people in her space and she loved creating these memories and I think we all got that from her and we all will if I can pass it on to my children. just the experiences we have as a family, whether we're sitting in our pajamas and hanging out, we take the time to be together and I hope my kids want to take the time to be together when they grow up with their cousins. and their aunts and the whole family, I'm sure they will, yes, I think they will too, yes, I think you have managed to preserve it in your entire generation and yes, they see that, I think the children reflect a lot. about themselves, what they see around them and I remember when I met my wife, her grandmother is her favorite human on the planet and it's really interesting how when someone you love you know who their favorite human is, yes, you automatically start to love them, yes, and I was.

I'm not very close to my grandparents, but I'm closer to Riley's grandfather like Grandma and to my own grandparents because you see your love for the person you love and I think when your children see the love you have for your sisters and your cousins and your aunts and uncles now, if only all my children could love their brothers, that would be amazing, they are in a phase of struggle, yes, yes, you and you went through that phase, but yes, it still continues unfinished, will that never end? to stop Kim, I feel like you travel so much that you have so much business that now you are going to be on a TV show like you are on another TV show.

I mean, there's so much going on in your life and I'm sure there are times when, whether the kids say anything or not, I know a lot of people in my life have a lot of mom guilt, yeah, and moms carry with them, have you experienced that with your friends and family, absolute mom guilt is probably the hardest thing? I think you also have to separate yourself and understand that you need your own bit of sanity, so you have to do what makes you happy. If you work for me, I love working, so that makes me happy whenever I think something is really difficult. immerse myself in work and/or if there are challenges, like I love to immerse myselfat my job and that's like a little bit of my therapy and my routine to support myself but I think you know I have talks with my friends when our kids have tantrums and things could be happening that we don't even know about and you feel like you're the worst mother if something is going on and you can't fix it, you have no idea how to change it, your kids are fighting whatever and my friends and I will be texting and crying, literally locking ourselves in the room like away from a kid who has a tantrum when that is not the case.

What you should do, you should go and lean on them, but sometimes it's so overwhelming that it was probably the only time I would be hard on myself. Am I a good mother? I try to do everything and think about how to balance work with that. it's when you're at home being really present, the kids just want time, they just want your time, yeah, you can give them all these great amazing experiences and they'll remember them and they're great, but they'll always remember that you're there. and I think that's the most important thing in all your relationships, think about what a child wants, a child just wants your time, so why not everyone else?

You have to treat everyone like this if you want meaningful relationships in your life and you have to be present and it's okay to feel like you're not 100 percent to be the best mom. I say it all the time. There is no manual. They do not come with the manual. Everyone is doing the best they can and me. I feel very lucky to have a good group of friends and all of our kids are experiencing different things, I mean, imagine all the things they get divorced through, everything they have to go through, we're fine, they'll be fine and they'll do it. feel the love and support and that's all you can do everything will be okay and I'm sure it's hard for you because you were saying you're so competitive with yourself that you want to be the best at everything yeah but I feel like being the best mom must be the hardest thing to fulfill and I'm very confident, so every year I write each of my children a four or five page letter about their birthday, about what the year was like, who their friends are silly words , they say their favorite foods, all the silly things they do and a little journey of what the year is like and it is very fun to see it from the first year.

Now you know one of them who is almost 10 years old and I just know they will appreciate this. I know you will appreciate everything you could have thought of. He was being a little hard on me by protecting them. I know you will understand it because I understood it with my mother and I know you will understand it with me, you have reminded me of something beautiful that I want to share, so my mother and father were immigrants in London, which is where I was born and raised and my parents worked since then. I was a kid and they would drop me off at daycare and pick me up at night, but what I remember is something you said that my mom would come pick me up and I still remember the look on her face when she picked me up. upstairs she had the biggest smile, she would give me the biggest hug, she would take me home and we would sit together while she cooked and we would just talk to each other and it's almost like I never had a I spent a lot of time with my parents growing up, but I felt a lot of presence and I honestly think that today I have a lot of love to give because my mom showered me with love like my mom, just like, yes, you know, she bathed me in so much love, totally that It's very easy for me to be affectionate because I have always received amounts infinite love from my mother.

Yes, I couldn't imagine that I love my children so much that they are so upset with me and I love what I find genuinely inspiring. about yourself and the way you think and focus is that you want to be an amazing mom but you also want to show the kids what a passionate person with a purpose looks like, yeah, and I think we forget that that's what being a parent is like too, like I wasn't a mother. father, but I can honestly say that when I saw my mom working late at night and waking up early in the morning, I look at my mom and I think my mom is a superwoman, yeah, and I look at that like my kids think on Instagram .

They will do that about me one day because they will see that and I think the same thing with my dad as I saw my dad and how much he had to work, yes, and there was something powerful in that, I think I always like to show them how I leave my children in the school and then I have two or three hours of law school, so I have to go. I'm on time because I have my school and they've been on the journey with me, they saw me take the bar. exam they saw me open my results and fail several times they saw me open the results and pass and I was crying and they felt my hard work and it was worth it.

I want to show them that

finding

a passion and working for me is something I love doing it and there's a lot of joy in that for me and I want them to feel that positive experience and I encourage them to do it because I want to show them as many positive experiences as I can and show them that you know that can. I work hard and you may love it and I just try to live my life and be a good example for them. I think it's done and I think when I look at my parents, all I can do is appreciate my mother. all I can do, I hope they do, sometimes they tell me I'm the baddest mom in the world because I won't buy them Roblox every day, you know, it's like okay, I can be the baddest mom in the world.

Yes, you know right, I think that's what moms do. Moms are willing to be whatever their children need, even if it is for a short period of time. Yes, Kim, you've been very kind and kind with your time today, we're all done. -purpose episode with a finale of five the first question is what is the best advice you have ever received or had something that I have learned about time is that we never have enough time so really be present and make the most of your relationships because you don't we're here for a long time and we have a life, there was a moment that made you realize that or something that happened that made you realize that, I mean I think when you lose a parent you're always very aware of time and My Mom talks about it all the time.

I think she's probably the only thing in life that scares her, you know, and sometimes it keeps her up at night, so make sure you make the most of everything because it will pass very quickly. Second question, what is the worst life advice you have ever received or had? I think maybe the worst advice might be too much advice or too many opinions if you really trust your gut and do what you want to do and if in your bubble and when the world gets to that little piece of your bubble and there can be so many opinions, I think that sometimes all the conflicting advice can just be bad advice, even if you're supposed to make your mistake and maybe do what you want to do with whatever bad advice is still part of your journey, so sometimes just do what you want. what you want to do and not following all the advice is really healthy.

I think that's great and don't ask for it at first. place, yes, yes, I know we all have that friend who told us messages like 25 people with the same question, totally, yes, definitely, good answer, okay, uh, question number three, if you don't want this tomorrow, there's no Intentions, there is no energy for this, but if you had tomorrow to restart, what would you do if tomorrow everything disappeared and you had to restart? What would you do in terms of business? What would that change be like? I think I would probably be a lawyer and just focus on that and go to law school and focus on being a full-time lawyer because I think the feeling of being able to help people is really powerful and necessary and I would just focus on that. .

It's such a sincere answer. I love it. It's lovely. Glad to hear it. I'm glad I asked you. I thought, yeah, I feel like it's really interesting. Last night I was having a conversation with mutual friends, uh, school abroad and oh yeah, we were together last night and we were talking about this idea of ​​how we often think about our experiences. make us who we are or are you going to be who you are anyway because that's what you were meant to be. I think it's both, yes, think about it, you can be the most talented person, but if you don't have that. determination and drive, then what will become of it?

You know it's not going to magically happen because you're talented, of course, so I think a lot of it is the effort and what you do with it and figuring that out, who you are and what. you want to stand out in the world I guess my point is that I think you have that energy of wanting to be the best, of wanting to do things really well, of wanting to do things with that quality and whatever you end up doing with that, yeah. It would have been that and it's already that and you're doing it anyway, you have to do it, it doesn't matter, even if this isn't the job you want, it doesn't matter what you're doing, you have to be the best you can be. you have to put in 200 you have no idea who is paying attention you are in that place exactly where you are supposed to be at that moment there is nothing worse than someone who doesn't want to give it their all no matter what it is and it could be that it's like you know the business advice I heard that always stuck with me and always did, even when I worked in a clothing store.

I was so happy to be there. I did my best, yes, I did my best to sell. everything and vaporize everything and hang everything and I think those experiences just show you what you want to do in your life, show other people really what you're made of. I'm like a really competitive person, so it doesn't matter what. it's what I'm doing I want to be the best at it I want to learn everything about it and I'm just a super curious person beautiful uh question number four since we've been talking about values ​​what's something you used to do? value that you don't feel your worth anymore definitely material designer things that I used to value, I mean things, I live in an area where there would be a lot of fires and there were probably four times we had to completely pack up the house, everything that got caught in the houses. property on fire caught fire like I was about to lose everything the first time I packed up my entire closet of shoes and bags and a lot of them because they were memories of my dad's things in high school, but all the designer things, also videos , photos, whatever, all digitized. everything important somewhere else here second pack the designer things but leave some leave some clothes you know I don't really need all the clothes but I packed a hotel for months with bags with all the designer things I had to come for third time. leave all the bags and shoes I don't need them we have all we have all the photos we have all my blanket when I was little you know the children's things the fourth time leave everything my babies and I that's all I need you know, I have all my digitized photos, I have everything digital, we have our passports, we're good, yeah, and that's like an evolution, like they have to go in and get all my designer stuff or I won't leave my house.

I know it's going to catch fire, yes, and now I think that nothing is worth it, nothing is important and I think that comes from life experiences, terrifying experiences, things that shake you to your core to make you realize that nothing is important, you can't, I know. everyone says this, but you can't take it with you, none of it is important, yes, there is a beautiful Islamic proverb that says: Detachment does not mean that you owe nothing, it means that nothing belongs to you and I feel that we often become property of I love dreams, our desires, our pursuits, our things, yes, it doesn't mean we have to give them all away or that we don't have them, it's just if and when we have to let them go completely, are we willing?, can we ? let it totally equate it with work things, I mean, it doesn't just have to be material things like you said, like your dreams, and it's okay to be able to let go, but work really hard to like opposites, it's okay to contradict yourself a little .

In those ways, yes, you know it's like in relationships, you can love a person, miss them a lot, but you still have the wisdom to know that they are not your person and that it is better that you not be together, that is the opposite connection with everything I think it is. Really important to have that awareness in everything in life, relationships, material things, all that, yeah, I officiated a wedding a few years ago and someone in the audience came up to me and said, Jay, I realized from what you were saying that they. I had just gone through a breakup recently and they were saying Jay, I realized I love that person, but we don't like each other anymore and it was that essence of you'll always be that deep love for each other, yeah, but you just don't like him. family, you know you love people, but it's okay to feel the protection of a person, but also to protect yourself and realize when you have to do it and when it's time, and it's okay to feel all the opposite emotions, because You know.

I think as long as you're very aware and going through the motions and feeling things and not holding things in, it's very important, whether you know, breakups, deaths. I have always had a very clear head and I have liked to go through the feelings, I went through the emotions, more in those relationships, more in those relationships for life that you expect and then also being well and calm and realizing that I have always been someone like that. , okay, my dad died, why is this happening, what was his purpose here and how? Let's grow and learn fromthis experience?

I always said that right when he passed away and I felt it and I got really emotional and you know, I cry all the time when big things happen. I wish she were here, but so am I. I had a wisdom like from a younger age to understand that this is like part of our journey and part of our Evolution and this happens and that's why you have to hold on to even more precious relationships, but don't let things destroy you at the same time. time. If that makes sense, yes, it makes sense. I can tell it just from your energy.

I just want everyone to know who is listening and watching. Often people can say something, but the time I've spent with you, even today, I can tell from your energy. You are happy and you are at peace and you are. I can feel that just don't worry, just be peaceful, that's how I am with you. I feel peace and I think doing an interview with someone is a different environment than you I remember when I interviewed Kobe Bryant and it almost felt like time had stopped and his word that I saw with his energy was gravity, like it felt like everything was fair and then when I'm sitting with you, I feel peace and a Many times people try to find people when they are not at peace, hoping that someone else will put the pieces back together.

You are at peace. Do you ever feel like you want to fall in love again? Do you long for that? Or are you so at peace that that's not a consideration? I think I'll always be a hopeless romantic and I'll always want to be in love and I definitely love sharing my life with someone and I love creating a life with someone. I'm definitely going to take my time and I think there are a lot of factors, especially when you have kids and you're aware of the people that come into your life and if I can look at everything that I did wrong and try not to make the same mistakes and really take my time, I think that it just has to be different for me, you know, obviously it's a very difficult place to be in because, how do you do it, who do you know, there are so many factors, but I will always believe in love and I will always want that and I think that's a such a magical part of life, but I think I feel very comfortable taking my time not to rush, there's so much going on that I don't feel alone and I think that's really important and I think I always think you know that and I think that, whatever Whatever it is, it will be the fifth and last question of the entire interview.

If you could create a law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would you take your time for? If it were good. Second Chances and Justice I think it could be something as simple as whether it's in our system or judgment in life, just making sure that everyone has a basic human right to what is fair. I think it would change a lot in the system. It would change a lot. in life and a law for everyone to be kind, it's that simple, you think all I want to do is raise kind, thoughtful, grateful, conscious human beings.

Ken, thank you for being so open, so honest, so generous with your time, everyone has been listening and watching. I hope you tag us both on Instagram on Tick Tock wherever you share the knowledge you gained. I'd love to see what you learned from this podcast. I would love to share it with both of you. Thanks for listening to us. purpose, I will see you again next week and Kim, thank you so much again for this energy of yours today and for being so present with us thank you for having me, thank you if you love this episode, you will really enjoy my episode with Selena Gomez. about befriending your inner critic and how to talk to yourself with more compassion, my fears will only continue to show me what I am capable of, the more I face my fears the more I feel like I am gaining strength. gaining wisdom and I just want to keep doing that