Become a Confident English Speaker | Practical Strategies

My students are often surprised when I tell them that speaking clearly, fluently, and

confident

ly was not easy for me. Yes, I am a native English

speaker

and yes, I am an English teacher with over 25 years of experience and my specialty is gaining fluency, but that doesn't mean those skills came to me naturally, not in my second language. and not in English. Have you ever thought that I am too shy to speak

confident

ly or that I can never be as confident as anyone else? Or maybe you listened to someone else and thought, oh, she talks so fast, she's so fluent.

Why can't I do that? Or if I go slower, I'll sound less fluid. My coworkers will be bored. I have to speak faster. They must think I'm stupid or stupid for forgetting the word I wanted to use and getting stuck. It was so simple. I had all those thoughts in my second language and in English, but then I discovered that all those beliefs, those things I told myself were myths. A myth is a false belief. When I found out what was true, my whole way of thinking changed. It changed my approach to learning, my motivation to practice, and my ability to progress in my conversation.

The most important thing is that it gave me confidence, the confidence to move forward. This is true in my second language and also in my native language, English. In this lesson today, I want to help you

become

a confident English

speaker

by addressing myth versus reality and giving you

practical

steps you can take to progress your confidence and fluency in English. But quick, if it's your first time here, welcome. I'm Annemarie, English Fluency and Confidence Coach. Everything I do is designed to help you gain the confidence you want for your life and work in English. If you would like to receive more free resources and lessons from me, including years of my weekly Confident English lessons, you can find them all on my Speak Confident English website.

While you're there, be sure to download my in-depth training, How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want. This is a step-by-step training where I share with you my number one strategy for developing fluency and confidence. Now for this lesson today, there are five common myths about flow and confidence that I want to address and I want to highlight what is true so that you can progress and move forward because when we believe in myths, false beliefs, they prevent us from progressing and it doesn't have to. what to be like that So if you understand what is true and take

practical

steps, you can move forward.

Here are the five myths we are going to talk about today. Number one, some people are naturally confident speakers. Number two, fluent English is always fast English. Number three, confident speakers never need to seek clarification. Number four, confident speakers never experience setbacks and don't really make mistakes. And number five, you either have confidence or you don't. So myth number one is that some people are naturally confident speakers. This is a myth I believed for years because my husband is an extrovert who seems totally comfortable talking to anyone, and he always seems confident that this is true in English and his second language.

He used to make me very jealous, but not anymore. Like me, you might believe that some people, like extroverts, are naturally confident when they speak because of some of their personality traits. Extroverts are often described as outgoing, energetic and talkative people, and because of that myth, there could be another myth which is that introverts cannot be confident when talking to others. Introverts are often associated with personality traits such as being shy, reserved, and withdrawn, but this is not always the case. There are many introverts who love to be around people and feel very comfortable in some contexts.

The difference is that introverts prefer to think before speaking, while extroverts think by speaking out loud. Furthermore, the reality is that introverts can be completely confident, completely fluent, and speak with exceptional clarity in any situation. I know that to be true because I am very shy and introverted, and I work with many students around the world who, similarly, in their native and non-native languages ​​are shy and introverted and yet develop the same skills. I want to help you develop clarity, fluency and confidence, so here's a practical approach to help you speak with confidence no matter what the situation.

Use your natural abilities as an introvert to your advantage. Now, you may not be an introvert in your native language. That may not be your true personality. However, you may be experiencing some of that in English due to anxiety when you want to speak, and the advice I'm about to share applies in both contexts. The natural skill here is to take advantage of thinking before you speak, by giving yourself time or taking advantage of the time you have, you can organize your thoughts and be more prepared to share them with others, to share them with confidence. .

This is a skill used by all powerful public speakers, including many introverts. Now, here's how you can practice this in real life when you can and if you can always take the time to prepare or organize your thoughts in advance. What this means is taking the time to think about any discussion you are going to have, perhaps writing some notes on a piece of paper and talking about them out loud. Practice saying them out loud so you feel comfortable with your voice and the words you are going to use. Doing this ahead of time means you'll be able to express those thoughts and organize them without anyone else judging them.

You have that time to think before you speak. This is useful. For example, if you are preparing for a job interview or if you are going to a meeting of some kind, and you know in advance what the topic of discussion will be, whether it is a business meeting, a volunteer meeting, or a book. club discussion. Now, if you are in the middle of a conversation, you can also pause briefly to take advantage of those small moments of time to organize your next thought. Don't try to plan the next 20 minutes of what you want to say.

Simply plan the next thought and then the next and the next and the next. This approach encourages you to take small pauses while you speak, moments that allow you to breathe, moments that allow you to organize the next idea and takes the pressure off. Now, if you're worried about pausing while you're talking to give yourself time to think, you can use a phrase to buy yourself some time. For example, just give me a moment to think or can you come back to me in a moment? I just need a moment to think about this right now, you might be thinking two things.

Number one, Annemarie, we don't always have time to prepare, and number two, I'm not sure breaks are going to help me. They're going to make me speak too slowly. I'm going to talk about both. Number one, you're right, we don't always have time to prepare, but we have more opportunities than you think, and when you practice speaking regularly, including times when you simply practice to prepare, it helps you

become

a better spontaneous speaker too. . I have a particular method that I love to use with my students to help them in this process so that they can gain greater confidence and fluency when speaking.

If you would love to receive that in-depth training, you can find it on my Speak Confident English website. It's called How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want in English. I'll share a link below this video, and now let's talk about that second fear that pauses make you look slow. This brings me to myth number two. Fluent speakers are always fast speakers without a doubt. This is a common mistake and is unfortunately perpetuated by English language television shows and sitcoms where someone may speak unnaturally fast for dramatic or comedic effect. And yes, there are many English speakers who speak extremely fast, which does not make them good communicators.

In fact, they can speak so fast that their native English peers don't really understand everything they say. Let me say all that again. Yes, some English speakers speak very quickly, but that does not make them effective communicators. In fact, other native English speakers may not understand anything they say: Oh, that's really hard for me. Did it seem clear, safe and fluid to you? It definitely sounded fast, but was it good communication? No. The reality is that fluency is about fluid, natural and clear communication with you in control. When I was talking super fast just now, I didn't feel like I was in control.

My brain was chaotic and I knew I was probably making some mistakes while I was talking, but I couldn't catch or avoid them because I wasn't giving myself time to organize my thoughts and be careful. what I wanted to say. Again, fluency is about fluid, natural and clear communication with you in control. So what are some practical tips you can follow to make progress in this area? Aim for clarity over speed. When you speak as I demonstrated, speaking quickly is not the same as speaking clearly. To improve your overall clarity and fluency, try taking short pauses while you speak.

If you listen carefully, you'll notice that I use them quite a bit. I use them between sentences. If I have a long sentence, I might use it between groups of words or between a single thought. I'll also use them before and after words I really want to highlight. Every time I take one of those pauses, it's giving me some things. It's giving me time to breathe, which is super important. It also helps maintain a sense of calm, so I think more clearly and allows me to briefly think about what I want to say next, whether it's the right word, the right grammatical structure, or the right pronunciation.

This is true in my native language and in my second language. Lastly, it brings clarity to my speech. It's smooth, it sounds natural, and it's clear for you to understand. That is important. If you and I are going to have a conversation or if I want to share something important with you in this lesson, I must make sure that my speech is easy for others to understand. If I talk too fast all the time, you'll miss all the important details. I won't be able to breathe and I'll lose concentration very quickly. I will also make a lot of mistakes.

Now, if you're not sure about this, I have a challenge for you. I also want you to go see an expert public speaker. It could be someone you admire on a podcast or a Ted Talk speaker, and once again, you'll notice that expert communicators embrace the use of these pauses. If you want to learn a little more about how to use the power of pausing, I have a lesson for you titled Speak So Others Will Listen, and if you would love to learn and practice using pauses with me, definitely check out the My Fluency School program.

Myth number three is that confident speakers never seek clarification. In fact, you may worry that by asking others to clarify what they have said, you are showing some sign of weakness or lack of confidence. However, the opposite is true. Confident speakers do not hesitate to ask for clarification. In fact, it shows that they are fully engaged in the conversation and committed to understanding. This is also a sign of active listening in English-speaking culture. Some practical steps you can take here are to practice asking for clarification. Do this in conversations with people you are comfortable with so that you feel comfortable using specific phrases and questions.

As you become comfortable with them, you will be more likely to use them in context when you really need to understand or get clarification on what was said. . Some phrases I love to use when I need to ask for clarification may also be helpful to you. Number one, I'm sorry, I didn't quite understand it. Would you mind repeating what you said? Number two, I'm not sure I follow you. Could you explain what you mean by that or could you give me an example of what you mean by that? And number three, would you mind repeating that?

I want to make sure I understand perfectly whether you are listening to someone give you instructions at work, having a discussion about a family matter, or debating a topic with someone. All of these phrases are appropriate to use when you need clarification, and if you would like more examples, I have a whole lesson on this titled 13 Ways to Clarify When You Don't Understand. I'll leave a link to that in the notes below the video. And now for myth number four: Confident speakers don't have setbacks. They make no mistakes and do not hesitate in their words. OMG, this is definitely a myth because I know I search for my words, make mistakes, and lose my train of thought all the time.

My team can tell you that's true. My students can tell you that is true. When we have spontaneous conversations, our brain doesn't always communicate with our mouth and we can't always say exactly what we wanted to say at that moment. We forget things, stumble, stumble, or lose control of our words. Our mind goes blank, we lose the train of our thoughts. These things happen. They happen to everyone, even the most skilled communicators. Now, when you practice constantly, you can prevent thathappen more frequently. You can maintain better control when you speak, and you can learn to regain control in those moments when you feel like you've completely lost what you wanted to say.

In fact, I had to do that recently within my Confident Women Community, I was sharing an update on how to use a progress journal and as I was talking, I forgot the word journal. Diary, this is a very easy word, but my mind went blank. I couldn't remember the word journal to describe this progress journal. Then, for a brief moment, I felt a little panicked. I felt stupid and embarrassed, but then I used my skills. I know I have to take back control. First, I took a deep breath. I just tried to calm down. Then I tried to find an alternative word I could use to describe this document, and in the process, as I explained it another way, I came up with the word that happened because I stopped panicking.

I just calmed down and found a way to move forward. This is a skill you can develop with practice, and more importantly, confidence comes from knowledge and the ability to overcome setbacks. So here are some practical tips: practice speaking where it is safe for you to make those mistakes, and where it is safe for you to practice using skills that will help you overcome those mistakes. As a perfectionist and introvert, I prefer to organize all the details in my mind, have everything ready, and I want to feel prepared when the time comes to speak. I don't like making mistakes and I don't like the advice that I should practice on anyone and not worry about mistakes.

The truth is that I worry about them and I don't want to do them, but they happen. They always will, and it's perfectly natural to feel upset, frustrated, maybe even silly or embarrassed. When they do, when mistakes occur when speaking, the best thing you can do is pause briefly, take a deep breath to calm yourself and regain control. Give your brain that moment to speak and you can correct the mistake or overcome it. For example, you can go back and clarify if necessary. You can do this by using a sentence starter like, oh, what I meant was.

Another option is to apologize for the mistake if necessary and correct it. For example, oh, I'm sorry, what I meant was or oh, I'm sorry. I wanted to say and then continue. If you feel comfortable, you could even make a joke about the situation. For example, I'm sorry, I think I had too much coffee this morning. If it's a more informal circumstance, you can simply say, "I'm sorry, I made a mistake." I meant and then insert the word or idea you want to use. That's exactly what I did when I forgot the word journal. Now, on top of all that, there is one more thing I said that is very important and that is finding a place where you feel safe.

Practice a safe place where you can practice speaking, allow yourself to make mistakes when they occur, and learn how to overcome them. That's why I encourage you to find a community of speakers where you feel safe practicing with others. Maybe there is someone you work with or a neighbor you like to talk to and you feel safe practicing with them. I previously highlighted my training How to Get the Confidence to Say What You Want, and in that training I also talk about how you can feel more prepared and overcome mistakes in the moment. I also give you a practical way to practice conversation no matter where you live.

When you practice consistently, you will reduce mistakes in the future and become more comfortable overcoming them the moment they occur. And finally, myth number five: either you have confidence or you don't. This is an all-or-nothing perspective, and it assumes that if you don't feel safe right now, you won't be able to get there, but that's not true. Confidence is one hundred percent, there is no doubt that it is possible for you. Every confident speaker started at the beginning. They learned the basics of clear communication. They practiced constantly. They observed their skills and learned how to overcome mistakes in the moment, and they continued to practice and practice and practice to perfect their communication skills.

Even after gaining confidence, a confident speaker will continue to practice because they have the mindset that there is always an opportunity to improve, and with the right skills, with the right support structures, and with proper practice, they will make those improvements. At least this is true for me, and it is true for all the expert communicators I know. The truth is, when you listen to an expert public speaker, a great podcaster, or a coworker who speaks perfectly fluent English, what you're hearing is the highlight, not all the months and years of preparation that led up to that point. moment.

Confidence is fostered and developed over time through practice and exposure to different situations and conversations. So here is my practical advice. Embrace the learning cycle to build trust, no matter what it is. Learning to play the piano, learning to play tennis, training to run a marathon, preparing for an art exhibition, learning to draw, making pottery. There is a natural learning process and a natural process to gaining confidence in any skill. This confidence-building cycle is about learning to inform your actions, improving your ability to change your beliefs about yourself, developing your confidence, and motivating your continued learning.

Notice that this trust learning cycle doesn't say learn and wait? Wait for motivation, wait to feel prepared, wait for confidence, wait for progress, and then take action. Lack of confidence, motivation and progress come from action. This means that the best thing you can do to gain confidence in anything, including speaking English, is to act and then do it again, and do it again, and do it again. Let me give you eight recommendations on how you can start taking action and practicing speaking right now. Number one, download that training. I told you about the training on How to Gain the Confidence to Say What You Want in English, because with that training I have a bonus, a four-week speaking practice program that will help you develop a meaningful habit and make progress.

Number two, join an English-speaking community. It could be an online speaking club or an in-person English speaking meetup. Number three, join a club or volunteer organization. For example, you can join an English book club or, like one of my Confident Women Community members did, you can become a volunteer at a local art gallery. Number four, find a language coach or teacher that you trust and feel comfortable with and take a speaking class with them, whether online or in person. Number five, ask a coworker or neighbor to meet with you periodically to practice conversation. This is something I did while living in France.

I found someone I felt comfortable with. We agreed to meet once a week to practice, and we spent 30 minutes practicing French for me and 30 minutes practicing English for her. Number six, listen to a podcast or a TED talk in English. As you listen, write down new words or phrases that you would love to add to your vocabulary. When you're done, practice summarizing out loud what you heard on that podcast or Ted Talk and review any words you want to include as well. Try to include that vocabulary as you summarize what you learned. Number seven, talk to yourself out loud in English when no one is listening.

This is something I love to do. I often talk to myself in French out loud at home when I'm alone, while I'm making dinner, or when I'm driving my car. And idea number eight is to join an organization focused on speaking. An organization like Toastmasters. The most important thing is to do what you can to take action. Start small, expand your comfort zone little by little, and work with other people who support and encourage you. When you do all of that, you'll enjoy improved skills, renewed motivation, increased confidence, and greater fluency. In this lesson today, I shared with you several options you have to take the next step.

So here's a question I have for you. What is the action step you are committed to taking? What can you do this week to take action on your English? Share it with me below? I would love to encourage you and help you take the next step. That being said, if you found this lesson helpful, I'd love to know and there are a few ways you can let me know. Number one, you can give this a thumbs up on YouTube. You can subscribe to the Speak Confident English channel to never miss one of my weekly lessons. And number three, you can leave a comment below.

Thank you very much for joining me and I hope to see you next time.