Walter For President

Shut up, I have something else to say now Walter, uh, this is a very special night, oh my God, you're finally not coming out AR, no, no, you had something to say, yeah, well, after traveling around the country for so long. Many years ago I discovered something, I discovered that people like me like the way I think they like my honesty and not just you black people, sorry Candler boy, even the Indians, you mean the Native Americans, yeah, you know the ones that go, hey, not the ones that that goes oh thanks to the K support this is Chuck anyway I'm taking the opportunity to be in this city Washington DC in this beautiful theater to announce that I'm now running for

president

from the United States well, this is very, very important At night, some people may know a lot about you, so would you like to answer some questions from our audience?

Oh yes, it's time for me to talk to my people. So what do we have here? Walter, I always wanted to ask someone. professional this question, so I'm going to ask you how you feel about the flat tax. Oh I'm florid, any woman with small breasts should pay taxes next, Walter, I really need help, how can I convince my girlfriend to have sex on the patio, how can I convince my girlfriend to have sex on the patio ? It's a political question, I don't know, put an attractive boy in the yard. Okay, Walter, I know we have Melvin out there, but what would you do to stop terrorism?

What would you do? First I do it to stop terrorism. I'd ask Toy Keith to write another song about putting a boot up their butts. I tell them I love that guy and then I would send a group of Jehovah's Witnesses there to beat up his tents first thing in the morning. tomorrow just to piss them off and then maybe out of frustration they commit suicide Walter what's your secret to a long and happy marriage oh, I seem like the keeper of that knowledge no, no, well Tupperware Tupperware yes, it's light, it hurts less when she hits you with this Walder, why should I listen to you?

You don't know anything about politics, neither does Rosie O'donell and she won't stop acting unless you put pie in her mouth considering the deep divisions between the Republican Party and their differences on social, political and economic policies do you think any of the Can candidates revive the Republican legacy? Well what's up Walter, what's the best way to end a fight with your spouse, hit and run, who are you considering as a vice

president

ial candidate? who I am? I consider John McCain as a vice presidential candidate John McCain yes, he and I have a lot in common you yes, he is old, I am old, he is in a bad mood, I am in a bad mood, he was a prisoner of war for more than five years.

I'm usually locked in the damn suitcase thank you sir wait well what do I say what do I say okay Walter has a serious question for you yeah how do you tell your wife you're gay my prus Walter what is it your position on women's rights missionary Walter? Why does it take four days for a guy to call a girl back after the first date? Oh sometimes it takes so long to get drunk again Walter how do you feel about border control damn Canadians Walter my friends beyon won't let him have a bachelor party unless she there what do we do oh get him a bar and tell him dance wal I'm dying to know what you think of Hillary oh I think her success has gone to her ass thank you very much