Uncertainty: The Best Gift You Never Wanted | Dave Prakash | TEDxSanLuisObispo

in 1999 i met my wife i was a third year medical student naomi was a masters student it was a thursday night around 9:30 and we were at a local establishment where students normally go i said hi she said hi and he The rest is history but the next 20 years of our life together were anything but what we expected or could have predicted now, two years after we met, we got married and at a routine medical examination the doctors told him that you have kidney disease but it is benign, nothing serious. nothing that could become something you have to worry about, so we decided to start a family and around that time I decided I was going to serve in the military, so I left my career in medicine to join the Air Force and be a pilot when My wife I was pregnant with our second child.

The doctor said that her kidneys are not acting as we expected. Something strange is happening. We're not sure we've seen this before, but you're losing so much protein from your blood that you're at risk of developing a life-threatening blood clot. We have to recommend that you consider terminating this pregnancy. We went home, talked about it and Naomi decided that she wasn't going to do it, that she was going to go through this pregnancy for the sake of it. of our son and everything went well, he was born a little earlier than we expected and he had some complications, but today he is fine, but three years after that pregnancy, the doctors came to us again and said: do you remember that kidney disease that shall we tell you?

That's why you don't need to worry, nothing serious is going to happen, well, the disease has turned into something different and your kidneys are failing rapidly and you will need a transplant. We think you are at least two years old, but no more than five. before this happens, so we thought, okay, let's not waste time, let's figure out what we have to do, so we learned everything we could about the transplant process, we learned what it's like to receive dialysis and right now I'm stationed at a Base Air Force in Louisiana and when we looked at the transplant program in that state, what we learned was that it would take a year to complete the paperwork before she could even get on the list and who knows how long it would actually take to get a kidney, so that we kept trying and tried to explore other options and found out there was a hospital in New York City, they said we can get you on a waiting list in about three months, we can probably get you a kidney too and about the same amount of time, so now we're excited, we packed up the family, my wife, our two kids, we scheduled about a week off over spring break to take them there and we said, let's meet the team, let's see what we have.

To do this, we meet with the team in New York City and they tell us that we have run your labs again and that you are much worse than we thought. In fact, you need a transplant right now and we cannot recommend that you return. We only packed for about five days in Louisiana and we're talking about two that will stay in the middle of the country indefinitely, so again we did the

best

we could, contacted our friends, contacted our parents and figured out a way to deal with this problem and it was around this time, just a few days later, that the doctors came back to visit us and said your husband's blood tests came back with great news, he's a match, we can schedule surgery in about six weeks now.

Of course, we have to figure out, as two parents going into surgery, how we're going to figure out who's going to take care of the kids, but we figured all that out and I'm happy to say my wife is doing great, our two wonderful kids are home. Now she's doing well for me too. I ordered a few pounds lighter and stayed in the Air Force for another six years before deciding to move on. What I think about all those twists and turns, all those unexpected events. I can say that I would

never

want to live. that again and I would

never

wish that on any of you, but I can't help but look at my wife and know that we are so much closer.

The fact that we navigated all that

uncertainty

hand in hand lets me know that she is the one who for me is my partner for life, so I think about that night in 1999, what if I knew that this beautiful graduate student that I saw at the other side of the room would develop a life-threatening illness that would overshadow and dominate the first ten years? of our life together and what if she knew that this nerdy medical student was going to throw away a great career in medicine to join the military? I don't think we would be together today if either of us had an idea of ​​what was around the corner and that's what makes me realize that

uncertainty

is the

best

gift

you never want.

I'm serious, I want all of you to think about the best experiences of your lives, the things you're most proud of, the stories you tell your friends the things you've done, I bet you all have one thing in common. , there are things that you were never sure of the outcome of, things that you weren't sure would turn out the way you

wanted

and that uncertainty. That's why all those experiences are so much sweeter and why you savor those memories now. I understand. Look, if we had a crystal ball, we could look into the future. Life could be so much easier and so much less stressful.

You could prepare yourself for what's around you. In a corner you could practice and be prepared for it, but I'm not sure that's what you would want because think about what life would be like without uncertainty, it would be like a carnival ride or a roller coaster, think about it, the roller coaster stops and you get in the car you put your seat belt on the bar, the bar goes down and you do these twists and turns, now you can raise your hands and scream or you can sit quietly either way, you know in 90 seconds the ride comes back from the beginning and you will come out safe and sound and whatever you do it doesn't really matter it is the uncertainty that gives meaning to your decisions and actions so when you think about all those things you are proud of the things you want to taste you know it could be a college course you didn't think you could pass maybe it's an athletic competition you never thought you could qualify for let alone compete in maybe it's starting your own business maybe it's a job you left to do something completely different or to retire early Or maybe it's all those years of parenting that you remember when you look at your children and realize that they grew up to be happy, well-adjusted adults.

It's the uncertainty that made you work a little harder. It's the uncertainty that made you work a little harder. made you run a little faster jump a little higher it's uncertainty no matter if you win or lose that showed you capabilities you didn't know you had it's uncertainty no matter the outcome that helps you discover strength resilience and love that you have inside, so when you think about your future and you look at those events, those incredible moments that haven't happened yet, you know they won't happen, planning for the future and playing with the odds that they will happen. to embrace uncertainty and defy the odds thanks