Ultimate Lord Of The Rings + The Hobbit Pitch Meeting CompilationMay 31, 2021
Galadriel goes into scary mode and screams at Sauron and he says, "Okay, I'll go, leave me alone, stop screaming, oh, he's leaving, yeah, and he won't be back until the original trilogy starts." so that whole story was like nothing, yeah, wow, so, then thousands of elves and people from Lake Town show up on the mountain and say we have a right to some of those things on that mountain, too, okay and Thorin. It's like no, actually this is all me, so the elves are okay, well, let's attack at dawn. So they have thousands of troops against 13 dwarves.
Why wait until dawn to attack? Well, I need you to wait until dawn because I. In fact, I'm going to have some orcs and dwarves and that will all appear fine, okay, I get it from the perspective that you want it to happen that way so the plot can advance the way you want it to, but it doesn't really make sense. . elves do that but I want it oh well it looks like you really want it so let's not let logic get in the way of that okay so Bilbo takes the arch stone to the elves because he doesn't want the war to end .
It happens fine, but then there are orcs, so anyway a war happens, oh boy, and the orcs have those giant sandworms from Dune on their side, so those things will appear, oh, are they going to dig right into the mountain so the orcs can claim it no, no, they are going to dig up the battlefield and eliminate the good guys underneath, no, what are they going to do? They're going to make some tunnels for the bad guys and then disappear completely, oh okay. And how did the bad guys get these giant worms to work with them?
Okay, sir, they're not even in the movie anymore. Can we stop talking about them? Oh my god, I guess that's how everyone fights and the dwarves say where's Thorin? You're going to lose if he doesn't get off the mountain. Thorin and the twelve dwarves would really make a big difference apparently, but Thorin is still dealing with his dragon illness, so he won't be coming out. Oh man, is it going to be hard for him? getting over that is actually going to be super easy, barely an inconvenience oh really yeah, he just has this kind of dream vision where he falls into gold and it cures him, he's better after that, okay, oh well, You know, great, and then just when everything goes wrong for the good guys you know what's going to happen the eagles are going to show up the eagles are going to show up how did you know just a hunch? okay and then that bjorn guy will jump from an eagle onto the battlefield and turn into a bear, oh i bet he's going to kick a lot of ass, oh yeah he will, i mean we probably won't show anything, let's cut right after it lands, you sure don't want to show a giant bear fighting some orcs.
For a moment absolutely sir, I think the audience would prefer to see more of the guy with the unibrow if you say so. We're also giving Legolas this awesome action sequence where I failed physics in high school. It sounds fun and also Feely is going to be killed. oh no, it sounds like he was one of the midgets, he probably was, he was John Travolta's midget and then his brother Keeley will be killed too oh wow, you know, that certainly sounds like something that will happen in this movie, it is, And you know. he had a crush on that elf toriel, so it's going to be pretty emotional, so they were like they were completely in love, completely in love and they only had three short conversations, that's right, one of which was keeley directly referencing his trash.
I guess that's romantic and Tauriel will talk to Legolas' dad and ask him why love hurts so much and he'll say because he was real oh my god are you okay? Yeah, sorry, I don't know why my body just reacted automatically. That's not weird, anyway, Bilbo will be knocked out during the entire climax of the movie because he didn't really know what to do with him, this guy is barely in his own movie, yeah, he's not very important to the story, so Thorin goes azzog battle oh boy, how's that going? This damn guy keeps hitting the ice they're standing on with this big weapon and finally Thorin tricks him into falling into the cold water.
Very smart, extremely smart and then you stand directly over him and watch. him through the ice okay maybe he should wait a minute before then azog stabs him in the foot and explodes through the ice how does he get the momentum to go through the ice from the water because of the fact that i wrote that in the script ? without giving it any more thought, oh, okay, and then they both kill each other and it's super sad, it sounds a little sad, sure, and Thorin is going to say, you know, Bilbo, the world would be a better place if people valued their own more.
Home than gold, oh, that's right. Like the moral of the story, yes, yes, yes, the moral of this trilogy of movies that we take from a single book to get a fan base to come give us their money is: don't be greedy, I don't see any irony in that . Me neither, sir, why would I mention that? I suppose there will be a big funeral for Thorin. No, no, there's no time for that, but there's time for a lot of Alfred scenes, oh, a lot of Alfred scenes, for sure. Well, okay then. and then since people made fun of us for having too many endings in exchange for the king, let's finish this real quick, well wait, okay, so what's up with the mountain?
Something, I guess, what's up with the Ark Stone, I don't know. I know who becomes the king of the dwarves. Someone probably what will happen to that bard guy. He is somewhere. I imagine they are the people of Lake Town. Okay, will they get a new home? It's certainly a possibility. Who can say it's okay? Oh, and Legolas, dad is going to tell him. oh you should go find this guy they call Strider, I bet he'll be someone cool one day, it's kind of weird to say yeah, but this way we could get Aragorn into this, he's from the other movies, he's awesome and so Gandalf is going to be like bilbo, I know you found a magic ring and bilbo is going to say no, actually I dropped it and gandalf is going to say okay, I won't look into that for 60 years.
Well, what do you think? Well, you know, it definitely sounds like that. Middle-earth has been milked for all it's worth, you know, it's all done, definitely, Hi, I'm Ryan, thanks for watching that video, I hope you enjoyed it, if you did, make sure you hit the like button, the Subscribe button, the button and any other. The buttons are not "Dislike", that's a bad button. You could also leave me a comment telling me what other movies you want to see, as always, come back soon to see a new one, see you in the next video, bye.
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