Trump Sinks in Polls, Claims Disinfectant Comments Were Sarcastic: A Closer Look

-Hello everyone and welcome back to the attic. We just returned from a week's break. Although let's be honest, "return" isn't the right word, because I didn't go anywhere. I just sat here with the lights off, silently performing "Closer Looks" about how every time I kill a wasp in the attic, three more show up to avenge their relatives. I got so bored that I started to part my hair on the other side. And of course, of course, I also drank a little alone, which is depressing. I mean, it's always depressing. But a year ago I was drinking with Rihanna, so this is a precipitous drop.

And

look

, I know this is a long shot, but, Rihanna, if you're on Zoom, my meeting ID. is 917-112-15 and the password is "Work work work work work work from home." Anyway, let's get into it without a transition. The president suggested that the coronavirus could be cured with

disinfectant

s, then said he was joking, and then threatened to stop holding press conferences altogether, which of course we know he can't do because he loves cameras more than he loves cameras. Wasps love my attic. There is the transition. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪ I have to be honest, when we went on hiatus a week ago, I didn't expect that when we came back I'd be talking about the president suggesting that

disinfectant

s and powerful lights could be used to cure the coronavirus, but of course, that's on me.

I mean, I should have expected it. We should all know by now that Trump will become more flamboyant with each passing week because that is the nature of him. It's like the fable of the frog and the scorpion. I won't tell it all, but in the end, the scorpion stings the frog, and as they sink to death, the frog says, "Why are you stinging me?" And the scorpion responds: "Some people say that scorpion venom is an effective treatment for coronavirus. I'm not a doctor, but... you know, I've heard that, and what do you have to lose?

Blub, Blub, this is Obama's fault." That was a drowning scorpion. We have to wait for this nonsense. Looking back, I should have known I would be doing my show from the attic before this was all over. When Trump won in 2016, he should have called the wardrobe department and said, "Hey, could I get some more t-shirts to put in my attic in case I ever have to do the show there?" And they would have said, "How many?" And I would have said, "Five. I mean, I can't imagine it being for more than a week." And then they would have said, "Okay, but if it's more than a week, you're going to have to rotate the jerseys," and I'd be like, "Guys, it won't be more than a week." Simply put, this shirt has appeared on camera more than any recurring character that has appeared on "SNL." Congratulations, shirt.

Anyway, after the president said that psychotic thing at a White House briefing last week, he repeated his usual series of obviously stupid excuses, starting with the classic: "I was just kidding," because if there's anything people want from leadership during a pandemic, it's sarcasm, and that was me using sarcasm. -I was

sarcastic

ally asking a question to journalists like you, just to see what would happen. But he was asking a

sarcastic

, and very sarcastic, question to the reporters in the room about the disinfectant inside. Well. -But you were asking your medical experts to investigate it. -No. No no no. -Were you being sarcastic with them? -To investigate whether sun and hand sanitizer, but whether the sun can help us or not. -You have two renowned scientists working with you.

Why are you throwing around ideas like a 6th century druid? "Maybe the sun can help us. Have we thought about the sun?" Most of the time, Trump's ideas for solutions are things that have always been there and require no work or effort on his part. It's like a kid he forgot it was show and tell. "While I appreciate everything my companions brought today, I would like you to direct your eyes out the window to an object I brought that is 100 times the size of the Earth." "Did you forget, Tyler? Did you forget it was show and tell day?" "I did.

I forgot. "Also, my diorama is just my mouth." And you weren't talking to journalists. You went to your medical advisors, went directly to them and asked them to

look

into it. -And then See the disinfectant that eliminates it in a minute, one minute, and is there any way we can do something like that, through internal injection or... or almost a cleanup? Because you see that it goes into the lungs and it has a tremendous effect on the lungs, so it would be interesting to check it out, so you'll have to go to doctors. But I think it's interesting that you talk to the doctors to see if there is a way to apply light and heat to cure, you know? , maybe you can't.

Again, I say maybe you can, maybe you can't. But I'm a person who has a good, you know what? -But, sir, you're the president. Have you ever heard of that... heat and mild heat in relation to certain viruses, yes, but in relation to this virus? -Just look at Dr. Birx's face while he asks her these crazy questions. If this continues, he will start wearing five more scarves. And he looks, we just have to be prepared. This will continue to happen. Trump is a powerful dumb guy, and he's friends with other powerful dumb guys, and they like to call each other out and expose his dumb ideas.

The whole thing is like a slice-of-life episode of "Shark Tank," where no one has a good idea and everyone wins. "They're called sock gloves." "Yes, I'm in. I'm in. Yes, we are all, we are all in." At his next press conference, Trump will tell people that they can replenish energy by consuming one battery a day. "Some people need double A. Some people need triple A. The other day, someone on the street told me I'm a giant D." Look, this matters, unfortunately, because Trump is, you know, the president and, unfortunately, people listen to him, as Maryland Republican Gov.

Larry Hogan explained on Sunday. -We received hundreds of calls to our emergency hotline from our health department, asking if it was okay to ingest Clorox or, you know, alcohol-based cleaning products, if that would help them fight the virus. So we had to put out that warning to make sure that people weren't doing something like that that would actually kill people for doing it. -Jesus. Clorox will have to add a new warning to its labels. "Stay away from children and the president of the United States." I mean, this idiot goes on TV and spouts crazy ideas that can get people killed because he thinks he's a medical genius, and dude, you're not Jonas Salk.

You are Jonas Sulk. Remember, he started this entire outbreak by repeatedly ignoring dire warnings from public health officials and claiming it would go away like a miracle. Now, more than 50,000 Americans have died and at least 26 million are out of work, and the president continues to insist that there will be a miraculous end. Over the weekend he tweeted: "I never said the coronavirus is a 'hoax,' I said the Democrats and the way they lied about it are a hoax. Also, it started with 'a person from China,' and then it grew! and it will be a 'miraculous' ending!

No, it's not a miraculous ending if people die or lose their jobs in the process. They wouldn't have called it "The Miracle on Ice" if the entire American hockey team had drowned in Lake. Placid. Also, this will end, not by a miracle, but thanks to the hard work of medical professionals, as well as the collective efforts we are making as a society to slow the spread. You know, hard work and sacrifice. recognize any of them. Trump is the kind of person who, if you slaved all day in the kitchen to prepare him a four-course meal, he would finish it and say, "What's your secret?

Are they miracles? "I feel like I've tasted miracles here." This is hurting him politically. When the coronavirus outbreak began, and Trump was getting unlimited free airtime on all the news networks, his poll numbers actually increased despite his dismal response. , which makes sense because that's how Trump became popular in the first place. He was always on TV, first on "The Apprentice," then on "Celebrity Apprentice," and then in his years as a racist blowhard who always appeared on cable news. I'm pretty sure he even appeared in those Liberty Mutual ads. Remember, he was the guy who said insurance is a waste of money because nothing bad ever happens, and when it does, you just expect miracles.

And then, of course, there was his presidential race, where cable networks eagerly awaited his speeches pointing their cameras at his empty podium. Remember that when the Democratic presidential candidate had to compete for media attention with. furniture? Trump loses this year, who will Republicans run in 2024? A racist beanbag that boasts about how many women have sat on it? "Friends, I've seen more asses than you think." Now,

polls

ters suspect that Trump's initial rise in the

polls

was what they call a "flag effect rally," in which Americans show their support for the president in times of crisis. And sure enough, Trump's poll numbers have already started to fall again. "Trump's approval rating is down significantly from 49% in March, while his disapproval rating is up 9% from 45%.

Trump had the shortest rally around the flag event in presidential history modern." Which is surprising for someone who knows a thing or two about mobilizing around the flag. I mean, my goodness, it seems like these two just met in person for the first time in "Love is Blind," and you can immediately tell by the flag's reaction that she doesn't like him. This is a classic Jessica-Mark situation. And yes, I watched "Love is Blind" in its entirety in two days. And I've said it before, but when this is all over and we all have a lot less on our plates, we'll have to talk about Jessica.

Anyway, here's the thing: It can be infuriating in a crisis like this to see Trump at that podium every day yelling at reporters and telling people to, you know, snort Lysol, or Mitch McConnell handing out tax breaks. to large corporations. while he denounces the so-called blue state bailouts. Or small groups of unhinged right-wing protesters shouting at nurses funded by conservative groups and applauded by Fox News. But remember that these people have always been and continue to be wildly unpopular. Take the protesters, for example. Polls show Americans overwhelmingly support social distancing measures used to combat the coronavirus.

You just don't see them on TV because they're at home. And no one can see your signs when you are at home. So Trump's numbers are already falling again, even as other world leaders facing similar crises have received praise for their responses. Take New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern, whose handling garnered more than 80% approval, well above any leader of the Group of Seven wealthy democracies. 80%? The only way Donald Trump could get an 80% approval rating is through himself. Like the weekend when she tweeted: "Remember, the cure cannot be worse than the problem itself. Be careful, be safe, use common sense!" And then one of his other personalities responded to that tweet and said, "So true!" He now he's talking completely to himself.

Please, Fauci, Birx, give him an unplugged microphone, sit him in front of a mirror and he'll be perfectly happy. "This guy, this guy giving this speech makes a lot of sense. I hope he's not being sarcastic. I like what he's saying." In fact, if he sits on the grass and holds the mirror under his chin, he might even be cured with a little... -Light and heat. -So New Zealand has effectively contained the outbreak. In fact, experts believe that New Zealand could eliminate COVID-19. So how is New Zealand doing? Obviously there are gigantic differences between your country and ours.

But to begin with, your Prime Minister is a normal, sane person, which is nice. Instead of self-aggrandizing mini rallies where he theorizes about shooting powerful lights into eyes as if we were all experimental patients in "A Clockwork Orange," he holds formal press conferences as well as more informal Facebook Live chats where he updates residents on the the country's strict lockdown measures. -And I thought I'd connect real quick and just give another summary. Maybe a shorter one than the one we did today at 1:00, announcing what the rest of the alert level framework looks like. You'll be pleased to know that we consider both the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny to be essential workers.

But as you can imagine at this point, of course they will also be potentially quite busy at home with their family and their own bunnies. And that's why I say to the children of New Zealand: if the Easter Bunny doesn't come to your house, then we have to understand that right now it's a little difficult forthe Bunny gets everywhere. -I mean, can you imagine Donald Trump addressing the nation's children about the status of the Tooth Fairy or the Easter Bunny? For one thing, every time they appear together in public, Trump rambles so much that even the Easter Bunny seems to want to inject Clorox into his veins.

Or maybe, I don't know, he already did. "Are you ready for the White House Easter egg roll?" "Yeah, just, um...get me a glass of bleach first." Obviously, the geographical realities of life in New Zealand are very different, but there are still lessons we can learn from how they and other countries have successfully managed this crisis and have begun to slowly reopen their economies safely. And some states are trying to learn lessons from other countries. Like Germany, which has begun to open some businesses, such as bookstores and car dealerships. Germany is employing a technique known as contact tracing, which we desperately need here.

And New Jersey's health commissioner said this weekend that she spoke with Germany's health minister about the steps they had taken to implement that program and reopen the economy. She-she stressed the importance of robust testing to help quickly identify new cases, as well as their contacts, so they can be isolated immediately. They are being very aggressive in contact tracing, using a team of 5 agents per 20,000 community members to track down people who have recently come into contact with each confirmed case. Your experience can inform our efforts as we look ahead to easing some of our social distancing restrictions in the state and increasing our testing capacity. -First of all, that is valuable information.

And it's crazy that individual states have to get it themselves instead of, you know, the federal government. Secondly, I think the best thing for me is to imagine myself describing what New Jersey is like to a German. "So you identify yourself not by the town where you live, but by the exit from where you are from? And you call this man El Jefe even though he is not yet your direct supervisor? And isn't it difficult to travel when your roads are full? of broken heroes in one last chance to push for power? And yet, not only are we not adopting those techniques across the country, but Trump's sycophants are actually scoffing at the idea of ​​contact tracing The Week.

Last week, the president's chinless gargoyle, Rudy Giuliani, attended Fox host Laura Ingraham's show, where the two laughed about how ridiculous it was for New York City to implement contact tracing for the coronavirus. Michael Bloomberg will be in charge of tracing, army of tracers in New York, we learned today from Cuomo. -Well, that's totally ridiculous. -Yes, I know, army of tracers. -Then we should trace everyone for cancer. , army of trackers. -We should track everyone for cancer and heart disease, and uh, and obesity and... I mean, a lot of things kill more than COVID-19. -Well... -So we should track down all those things. -Yeah, man, I hate it when someone sneezes on me and I get heart disease.

You know what else we should track? Brain worms. Because I'm pretty sure you guys are spreading them. And by the way, a word of advice, Rudy, no one is going to think you're smart just because you started wearing glasses. All it does is make you look like Dr. Bunsen Honeydew got high on meth. Adding glasses won't suddenly make you look like a gentleman of letters. "Well, well, well. Who is this academic kumquat? We could easily be learning important lessons from other countries and implementing techniques like mass testing, such as nationwide contact tracing to reopen parts of our country safely and slowly.

Instead, the president is mulling over using disinfectants and powerful lights to clean his lungs and having conversations with himself on Twitter. I have to be honest, at this point I think something might be wrong with his... -You know what-. This has been. “A Closer Look.” ♪♪ We've been talking about City Harvest on our show and they asked us to thank them for their generous donations, so let's move on. With unemployment skyrocketing, they're keeping their trucks full to feed the. growing number of New Yorkers turning to them to put food on their tables. If you're watching this online, hit the "donate" button.

Stay safe.