Trump’s Deranged Post-Impeachment Press Conference: A Closer Look

-Today, the president unleashed a

deranged

tirade at the White House, where he celebrated his false acquittal in the

impeachment

trial with his Republican accomplices. To learn more about this, it's time for "A Closer Look." ♪♪ After his acquittal yesterday in the Senate

impeachment

trial, Trump was eager to celebrate, even at events where he wasn't entirely appropriate. For example, this morning he attended the annual National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, and before he even sat down, Trump began holding up the front pages of several newspapers showing people that he had been acquitted, a trick he later repeated at a

conference

. of

press

.

A few hours later at the White House. He finally found the only job for which he is qualified: newspaper delivery. Extra! Extra! Extra! Extra! Read all about me! Trump "a deserter." Trump then took aim at both Utah Sen. Mitt Romney, the only Republican to vote to convict Trump, and House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Romney cited his faith in explaining her vote, and Pelosi had said many times that she prays for the president. and Trump decided to attack them for it. -I don't like people who use his faith as a justification for doing what they know is wrong.

I also don't like people who say, "I pray for you." When they know that's not the case. -Because what is prayer, if not a time to air small grievances? Then Trump's son Don Jr. tried to back him up on Twitter this morning, writing: "The chance of Nancy Pelosi praying for Trump is about the same as the chance of Satan walking around quoting Scripture." Alright. Well. Let's see if Satan has ever quoted Scripture. -2 Corinthians, right? 2 Corinthians 3:17. That's the whole ball game. -Even when Trump reads directly from the Bible, it seems like he is making it up.

It sounds like he's trying to distract a priest while his fellow altar boys steal communion wine. 2 Corinthians, oh. There was... There wasn't just one Corinthian. There were two. That's what... That's what really made them a great team. And, you know, you can't beat 2 Corinthians. I mean, that's the whole game. Then Trump moved on to the White House, where he decided to give his

deranged

victory speech or

press

conference

or whatever. In fact, not even Trump himself seemed to know what to call it. -This really is not a press conference. It's not a speech. It's no big deal. -Then why are we here?

It sounds like Simon Cowell berating a contestant on "America's Got Talent." It is not a song. It's not a dance. It's no big deal. Maybe that's the only thing Trump was right about. This really wasn't a speech or a press conference or anything like that. It was a chance to lash out at critics, concoct wild conspiracy theories, and soothe his bruised ego. In fact, he spent most of his time gleefully yelling at his Republican colleagues who helped him cover up his crimes. And the screams became stranger and stranger. -Mitch McConnell, I want to tell you that you did a fantastic job.

And Mike Braun, you've done a great job. Thank you so much. Josh Hawley, I want to thank you. You were right from the beginning. Man, did I make a good choice? But Mike Lee is a brilliant guy. It's hard. Kevin, man, did you do a job? How lucky you are there. Jim Jordan. When I first met Jim, I said, "Hey, he never wears a jacket. What the hell is going on? He's obviously very proud of his body." -Proud of his body? Have you... have you seen Jim Jordan? He

look

s like a ventriloquist's dummy that was cut from Jeff Dunham's act.

Also, it's very telling that Trump thinks that not wearing a jacket means you're proud of your body because Trump goes out of his way to cover his body. Not only does he wear those baggy pants and long ties, but he also wears that giant, bulky coat that makes him

look

like he just snuck out of the White House with all the valuable china in his pockets. Then, at one point, Trump yelled at Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley and claimed that Grassley had allegedly scared former FBI Director James Comey into confessing to Comey's alleged secret plot to take down Trump. -A man who caused James Comey to drown.

And he was just speaking in his usual voice. He has that voice that scares people. You know, Iowans can be very tough. We're doing very well in Iowa, but I'll tell you, Chuck Grassley, he's looking at Comey... "Well, you tell me. What did you say?" -Okay, that sounds really scary, so let's compare this scary fictional version of Grassley with the real Grassley trying to take down a Democrat at a Senate hearing. -This committee, sir... ...violates even the values ​​that I have heard you talk about time and time again, the ideals that we should have. What's the rush?

What are we trying to hide by not having the documents in front of us? What's up with the rush? What are we hiding by not letting those documents out? You have requested documents: yourself. Leave me with the documents. We think there should be more. We have not even received the documents you have requested. -He is not a senator. He is a metronome. He looks like a grandfather who has been trying to hammer a nail into the terrace for eight hours. "Grandpa, let me use the drill." I don't need any help! Let me do it myself! Although there was one imaginary friend that Trump couldn't introduce because he wasn't in the room, Trump said he wished he could have been there so he could have introduced him too. -"Honest Abe" Lincoln.

Many people forget Abe Lincoln. I wish I was here. He would give you an excellent presentation. But he was a Republican. Abe Lincoln, honest Abe. -That's how it is. Trump wishes he had featured Abraham Lincoln in his speech today. Of course, if Trump did it, he would immediately talk about him and somehow insult Lincoln. Honest Abe. There is. Abe Lincoln, everyone. So honest, maybe the most honest, although some people say I'm a little more honest. Then Abe is there, he's laughing. He is number two, the second most honest. I am the number one. I told you not to go to that theater, Abe!

I told you. I told you the plays were boring, but of course, you're fine. Nothing happened to you, so I don't know why the audience groaned. You are here in this timeline. In this timeline, you're fine. You're 200 years old and you're there and you laugh at me and we're friends. Trump's rambling fever dream with no speech or whatever it really was was just window dressing for our perpetually aggrieved and wounded president to feed his ego, relive old glories, lash out at random critics, and yell at imaginary opponents. For example, Trump claimed that his three years as president have been marred by traitors who tried to bring him down and he continued to use some crazy phrases in particular. -He was evil.

He was corrupt. They were dirty cops. They were leakers and liars. The bad guys, the leakers, the liars, the corrupt cops. Dirty and horrible police officers. When I fired that sleazebag, he was the top scum. We caught him in the act. Dirty cops. -Does he complain about the impeachment or narrate a movie trailer? They were the bad guys, the leakers, the liars, the corrupt police officers. And the only one who could finish them off was Serpi-Dope. I hope this is a reminder to everyone who thought Trump somehow managed to hold back during the State of the Union two days ago.

The Trump we saw today was the real Trump, and it is the Trump we will continue to see for the next nine months until the election, because it is quite clear from his tone of vengeful celebration that Trump wanted this to be the week in which, for everyone effects, and purposes, began his 2020 re-election campaign. Although I'm not sure Trump ever really stopped campaigning. He spends more time in arenas than Jon Bon Jovi. Are you ready to rock, Kansas? "This is Missouri, idiot!" For example, during his White House rant today, Trump boasted about his near-unanimous victory in the Iowa Republican caucuses on Monday, even though he is the sitting president and everyone expected him to win easily. .

But Trump still sent a big team to Iowa on Monday as a show of force, including his adult sons, the Gargoyles, Eric and Don Jr. And Don Jr. relayed what Iowans have been telling him during his campaign. in the state. -Honestly, the biggest thing I receive is thank you. This is someone who tells us thank you for the sacrifices your family is making, because you didn't need this job, right? The presidency was not the next natural progression for my father as it would have been for Hillary, where it was her turn. Good? In fact, he had done things in the real world.

Frankly, he needed this job like a hole in the head, especially understanding the resistance he was going to encounter. -Ah, but are you sure he doesn't already have a hole in his head? Listen to him talk and tell me he doesn't have a hole in his head. -10,000 known or suspected gang members. Advice to legislators. It will not be tolerated. -Yes, you see, Democratic legislators suspected that Trump had committed a crime, but in the end the Republicans decided that he could be tolerated. That was on Monday, and then on Wednesday, Trump expected his week to be further boosted by an acquittal in the Senate along party lines, where he expected to receive 100% support from Republicans.

And while it's true that Trump was acquitted, his good news was hurt by the fact that Republican Senator Mitt Romney sided with the Democrats and voted to convict him. Romney got rained on at Trump's parade, which is bad news for Trump, because he doesn't know how to use an umbrella. But seriously, even with the acquittal, that vote is a historical stain that will remain on Trump's presidency forever. That fact will appear on Trivial Pursuit cards in a few years. "Who is the only president in history to have a senator from his own party vote to remove him from office?

Hint: the answer is not..." -Abe Lincoln, Honest Abe. -Now, Romney knew that he would pay a political price for this decision because Trump's allies had already warned that if Republicans vote against the president, his head will be on a pike. And Romney was asked about that danger in an interview on Fox News. -You realize that this is war. Donald Trump will never forgive you for this. -There is a hymn that is sung in my church. It's an old Protestant hymn that says, "Do the right thing, let the consequences follow." -There is probably no better way to baffle Donald Trump than by quoting a religious hymn because he has no idea what it means.

When Trump hears the phrase "old Protestant hymn," he probably thinks he's referring to a member of his cabinet. Oh yes, I have a lot of old Protestant "he's" and I have a Protestant "she." And sure enough, Trump responded to Romney yesterday with a strange ad aimed at a member of his own party, accusing Romney of being a secret Democratic traitor. But I'm not sure the announcement had the damaging effect on Romney that Trump hoped it would have. -Slippery, slippery, sneaky. Mitt Romney fooled us. Posing as a Republican, he attempted to infiltrate the Trump administration as Secretary of State.

Now his cover has been blown, exposed by news reports as a secret Democratic asset. -Look, I'm not a Mitt Romney superfan, but you do realize this ad makes him look incredibly cool, right? I mean, I didn't think it was possible to take a boring private equity robot like Romney and turn him into James Bond, but somehow Trump did it. He literally wears sunglasses and describes him as skilled, stealthy, and a secret asset. You could also give him a martini and an Aston Martin and put it next to Pussy Galore. Mrs. Galore, do you mind if I read you an old Protestant hymn?

Call me pussy, Mitt. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, I'm not going to do that. Definitely not. And yet, while Romney was the only Republican to hold Trump accountable, others who voted to acquit Trump tried to dodge questions about their votes, especially deeply vulnerable senators facing re-election in swing states in 2020. Take for example to Maine Senator Susan Collins, who sided with Trump in the impeachment trial, but also tried to claim in an interview with Fox News last night that Trump had learned his lesson. -Will something in you be disappointed if you never see any evidence of him learning a lesson or if he does something like this again? -A lot.

I hoped the president had learned from the fact that the House impeached him. There were many of us, who are Republicans in the Senate, who are very critical of the call. The call was incorrect. Parts of the call were okay. -What do you mean, what parts of the call were good? "He got the 'Hello' right and I thought the 'Goodbye' was solid too. He put it back in the crib when he was done." Also, why do you think Trump would have learned anything? Just today he said that the call was perfect again. Trump is incapable of learning.

It doesn't matter what the subject is: spelling, geography, he never learns. Remember, this is a guy who misspelled his wife's name and his own and literally made up several fake countries. -Tanzania. Namibia. -Yes, Tanzania and Namibia. This guy is the president and he doesn't even know basic geography. If you said "Bangladesh" to Trump, he would say... Why? Doesheat in Ladesh? Collins was then asked if Trump had given her any assurances that she had learned her lesson, and she admitted that he had not. -Did she give him any assurance that she would not do something like that again, accept foreign help in anything related to someone who might be running with him?

Did you talk to him about that? -I have not had conversations with him throughout the trial. -Then why do you have this feeling that he has changed, that he learned a lesson? -Well, he may not be right. It's more aspirational on my part. -Oh, it's aspirational. How nice. Do you have one of those motivational

post

ers in your office, you know, like the one the cat has that says, "Hang in there. He might not be a criminal." Then there was Colorado Sen. Cory Gardner, another deeply vulnerable Republican facing a tough re-election in a swing state. Gardner also sided with Trump in the impeachment trial.

Last night on a local news station, he was repeatedly asked if Trump's actions were appropriate and he did not answer the question, while insisting that he was answering the question. -Do you think it is appropriate for the president of the United States to ask a foreign leader to investigate a political rival? Yes or no? -That was not the question we had last night, nor the one we had at the impeachment. -But was the president's behavior appropriate? -But that wasn't the question. -Then, clearly, do not answer that question. -Well, I did answer the question about the impeachment. -No, you didn't.

These guys all have the same Trump brain disease where they think they can mentally trick us like Jedi into not believing what we're seeing. That's why Trump always does that with his hands, you know? He's trying to do an Obi Wan Kenobi on us, but instead, he looks like he's playing an invisible accordion. Those aren't the droids you're looking for. Do you want to hear a polka? Do you want to hear a polka? The fundamental tenets of Trumpism and the modern Republican Party are grievance and paranoia, and that was fully demonstrated in Trump's deranged press conference today.

But vulnerable Republicans in swing states are struggling to defend that behavior because most Americans in polls still believe the president's crimes cannot be... -Tolerated. -This has been "A

closer

look." ♪♪