Trump Quits His Blog, Fauci’s Emails Revealed & No More Karens!

Hi, I'm Jimmy, I'm the host of the show. Thanks for watching it at home. Thank you for joining us here in the United States of America, where we are. I don't know if you read this, but apparently we were running out of money. karen or at least baby karen because over the past year, presumably because of all the negative attention to that name, the popularity of the name karen plummeted to number 831 on the list of most common girls' names, something similar happened to katrina after hurricane katrina and uh also uh the name damon after the movie we bought a zoo disappeared but even without the whole karen thing karen is a weird name for a baby, I mean, it's like oh cat, right?

If I were a baby, my parents called me Karen, I would definitely ask to speak to the manager last year. This is true, there were only 325 babies named Karen in the United States last year, 1965, there were 33,000 and now they are. all grown up and punching Walmart greeters in the face, you know, the name is way down on the list too, Donald, the name Donald is at its lowest point, name and the opposite, since the year 1900 and no one knows why no name is even less popular than donald or karen guillermo is that less popular there were fewer guillermos in 2020 than at any time during the last 79 years what did you do?

I don't know, I don't know anyway not only is there a William shortage, no one else is in Port-a-potty shortage as the world opens back up and humans prepare for concerts and festivals and you know, sex orgies or whatever. Whatever it is, there is an increase in demand that people transport cannot meet, they are worried that there are not enough bathrooms. This year, which doesn't make sense, we used to have enough bathrooms, why would there be a need for

more

? We've only been gone for a year, it's not like we've been putting up with it, and while it would be easy to blame Trump for this, he may actually have something to do with it.

The Secret Service is expected to shell out

more

than $34,000 on portable toilets to use while standing guard for Trump while he spends the summer in Bedminster, New Jersey 34,000 you know who handles the bill for taxpayers, in fact if he makes 130,000 a year that means he pays about 34,000 in federal taxes, one hundred and thirty thousand dollars, is the average salary for a dentist in Utah, which means that this guy, Dr. Garan Larson, from high family dentistry, all the money he paid all last year goes to the service secret to pooping on donald

trump

's golf course. I'm sorry, dr. garren, donald

trump

made an interesting move today, he abandoned his own

blog

, his donald j trump desktop

blog

page on his own website has been permanently shut down, i know it's a real punch in the gut for me too, but he he was very excited about this blog for the first month after he got banned from twitter and now he's just abandoning it, it's a move he calls eric and according to one of his advisors, they found out that the reason he shut it down It's because people in the media have been making fun of the few people who visited their site.

Traffic to the website dropped 99% compared to last year, so from now on he will only write little. notes on dry erase board at mar-a-lago tortilla station more people will see them amazon yesterday announced its support for a federal bill that would decriminalize cannabis, which came as a surprise and they also pledged to stop to screen workers for this problem. It kind of sucks for those workers because the urine test was the only bathroom break they got at Amazon. I wonder if they will also take a different approach to what they sell because right now if you try to buy a pipe on Amazon to smoke.

Many of you have to look for useful little creative gadgets or small portable tools, which doesn't make sense because like 40 of the things people buy on Amazon are because they're tall, like this Nicholas Cage pillowcase, which doesn't. es, or this french fry holder for the car. Are these sodas with ranch dressing, bacon, peanut butter and jelly? Are we to believe that they are sold to people who have not fallen asleep waiting in the drive-thru line and coming and going? No, you know, maybe I should ask Alexa about this. alexa oh what a coin thanks guillermo you know alexa is also an unpopular name like yours oh that's good yeah yeah okay oh hey alexa I see you're enjoying Amazon's new relaxed policy about cannabis, yes brother, I'm calm, I would just vibrate.

Do you like to listen to a jam band no, I really didn't just want to ask me to play a jam band now Alexa turn off the music, turn it off wow okay dick what's that? What was that noise? Oh, it's a reminder. I'm supposed to remind you of something. Well, what are you supposed to remind me? I forget, oh you can't remember the reminder, that's why I set the reminder, why are you being an idiot? I'm not being. I have a question. Are you a teepee or a wigwam? I am a? teepee or wigwam yeah, because you're too tense, make it too tense, dick, okay, high five, William, don't high five her for that, would you like to hear a ban on improv? no, I still wouldn't like to hear an interference, hey, talking about crazy things to buy an Italian artist just sold a sculpture for 18,300 which wouldn't be interesting not because the sculpture is invisible there it isn't the sculpture is flame I'm like in I'm an idiot for paying 18,000 for an invisible sculpture why would you pay money for evidence?

This isn't even an nft it's just an an n I guess I don't know it's a blank c and someone paid almost 20 grand for this. Whoever bought that should be robbed right? We should just go to his house and take everything like you obviously don't want money, so in other moron news, a senate candidate in Ohio boldly declared his independence from ppe by burning a mask in a video subtitled with the word freedom and he dropped it on the ground and just left, he was going to get caught. Arsonists always return to the crime scene to masturbate.

We know you are learning more about our previous administration's response to the pandemic from all places. Dr. Fauci's inbox is over 866. Pages of Dr. Fauji's

emails

were made public as a result of requests through the Freedom of Information Act, which must have been a big surprise to him. , but including this from a department of health and human services official is a real Email this person suggested that maybe we use cones of the kind you put around a dog's neck instead of masks. He says I've been thinking about the shortage of medical supplies. Dog cones can actually be used as protection for our healthcare workers.

Just the idea that it looks and sounds crazy, but can help keep you safe. Kind regards Karen Becks. That's why there are no more carrots. Nothing good comes from the dog cone. A dog cone doesn't stop you from spreading out. The only thing it does is prevent you from licking your private parts. or so I'm told, but if you thought seeing everyone at mass all the time was weird, imagine if we all wore dog cones around town, it would be like a big, sad Sarah Mclaughlin commercial. You know, I thought I had a lot. of ridiculous

emails

I was going through these emails from Dr.

Fauci, some guy pesters him to make a video for his son in the middle, congratulating his son on his Webby award, seriously, there are all kinds of crazy ideas for cures , a man asked him if he'd consider hydrogen peroxide to stop the virus as if that hadn't been thought of. A woman asked her if she could get coven jewelry that she ordered from China. The only good thing that happened to this poor Dr. Fauci was that Brad Pitt played him on Saturday. night live really aside from that, you know we have, um, we, gary and I were talking about this just this afternoon, we've come a long way from the days of cleaning our pizzas with Clorox before letting them into the house and Said this, it's time once again to take a look at the ghosts of the pandemic past as we revisit the headlines from exactly one year ago in tonight's edition this week in the history of greed this week in the history of greed it is June 2020 and America declares victory, congratulations America, the comeback begins, you heard it from the swab, even Sin City is lighting up Las Vegas again, baby, and it was all thanks to the unprecedented contributions of Donnie Builder Wahlberg, like making sure that everyone stay safe inside their homes, take care of your health, we are going to protect the white house with corona proof barricades and showing us that it is safe to worship once again and that time when holding the bible is not a very important symbol like Churchill, we saw him surveying the bombing damage, it has been a powerful message of leadership, yes, and all Winston.

The church's fried chicken had to expel some agitators. Some Yahoos argue that the protesters were peaceful. Tear gas was used and it was a photo session. The protesters were not peaceful. No tear gas was used and it was not a photo shoot. that, but a respected journalist still demands answers, why didn't you go to San Juan the other day? What was the message you wanted to send to people? The religious leaders loved it. The religious leaders thought it was great. They love me. It's true. Ask any religious leader. the bible is not a prop, it mocks christianity, it was an act that mocked god, you just don't do that mr president, it's not cool and no one knows it, it's cool like a kids turtleneck, this alone in a box, the news poll shows that biden is Up 14 points, but don't be fooled.

I know you all are scaring the polls. Experts say Biden is way ahead, it's his election that he loses. The so-called experts are terribly wrong. Yes, believe her, she is horrible and wrong. This was this week Hi, I'm Jimmy Kimmel and I can't eat this cookie until you click the subscribe button, so click now. I'm hungry.