Top Gear - The News Compilation

Well, the

news

and we begin tonight with probably the best

news

I have heard since I was born, an event that, in fact, does not eclipse the Miracle of my birth, wait for the best news you have ever had. I ever heard that they are going to stop making the Beetle and that's it, that's not the new thing, that's fantastic, now they will continue making the old one until July 30 and then it will stop forever and why is that so? Well, why do you hate him so much? Do you really want me to do it right?

No, I just can't, okay, it's a trash car, that's the first thing, it's a trash car, second of all, it was a scandal, okay, that car was stolen from a guy called Lead Winker. I think Hitler and his henchman put it into production. They stole money from the German people to build it and build a factory. They never got a car. Instead, they used the factory and enslaved the Russian labor of the Eastern Front. to build 1 bombs, you can't blame poor little Herby and I are not done yet, oh, here we, in the factory, with Russian slave labor built V1 flying bombs, one of which landed where my house is now, that one It's the most complicated reason for, oh no.

Does anyone have a beetle? No, no one is going to do it right. Are you happy driving around in a mass murderer's personal Biff bag? You are what I want to say. I don't understand. It's completely wrong. It's gone and you're rejoicing. I couldn't care less about having to tell myself either, but you know, there you go, you're a loser. What does the loser have in store for us this week? Big O. I have the following good news for you because a while ago we saw Well, Voxul showed us the new Astra. Well, at least what they said was going to be seen is that we have a photo here now that we all agreed.

I think we all agreed that it's a fantastic thing and Jeremy said, "Well, yeah." he looks like that when they make the real one I'll eat my hair and the good news for you Jeremy is that he looks like that so it's safe yeah I mean they send us a lot of stuff about him and I've been through it all and All I can see are lights, it tells you what it has. This is good. Headlight system with lighting. Always feed me when he touches you. I have lit up the engine bay again and where it goes and it goes.

Speaking of the translucent technology that disperses light in the taillights so they can turn on, yeah, I don't quite understand it. Jonathan Ross, okay, yes, Jonathan Ross, it was reported in the papers this week that he plans to spend £1.2 million on this private number. R5 license plate now, if you're sitting at a traffic light and a guy pulls up next to you in a pale blue Mazda, okay, horse seats, hair down, purple driving gloves, you're not going, it's Trevor McDonald, no, you got right, we know who you are Jonathan, you don't need a private registration place.

I actually have it because I like Jonathan Ross, he's his radio show. Fantastic radio show, but now it's unfortunate that it's a lot of money for him to spend on tuition. I'm not saying, it's not like that and that must be a real problem for a high ranking celebrity like John Prescot, very quick, always telling us to use our cars less. We know that last year you spent £320,000 on taxi fairs, which I mean, that equates to we calculate around £900 a day where goes well exactly who and why they bring it back precisely leaving it there I have one that I would like to finish very quick okay we've charted Jaguar's gradual downhill slide in the last series we talked about diesel now it's a hell of a lot worse the new xtype estate this is a front wheel drive estate Jaguar with that well that's a horrible idea Jeremy look that's got a dog no, you can have a dog in a cat no, I just don't see what's wrong with it, it looks like a Mondo, it's terrible, it's very, what do you have?

Stage Coach, these are the bus operators, they've come up with something extraordinary, it's a 94-seat double-decker coach that will take you between Oxford and London or Glasgow to Edinburgh for a pound and they've said we're going to remove the Frills from the buses. bus trips, but believe it or not, okay, it was okay, what are they, but there were some that they had? He brought out the Telly, the woman in front with a microphone pointing at the Tower of London and the bathroom. Isn't there a bathroom on the bus? Do you have jobs on the buses?

Don't worry. Jeremy will never have it. Of course you have The you're not used to you have a Lotus I output that's why you would go on the bus obviously you've never tried the you've never been on a bus shows you how I work, look, here you are, you sit next to someone like that, but there's a little wall that thick, he's parking his breakfast pants around his ankles. I'm reading the woman's own because, you know, you're driving like that on the M40 in '85 and you're having a Yes, but now they've taken out the toilet.

Yes, but what really surprises me is that it's okay, it has 94 seats. They say we can sell the seats for a pound to maximize profits. They've taken out the sink, which is obviously the size of. a seat, so they made an extra pound by taking a group of people to O. The next thing that's going to happen is people will be with top-notch stoves cooking their lunch on the floor and live chickens and people coming to the bottom of the Eurostar from Aaban will see one of those things happen and think we have come full circle.

I'm going back again. I have to go back to the third world, for God's sake. Actually if there are toilets they should get rid of the back window and it has a board with holes in it, in fact it's like following a rugby tour because they always have that back window, no it's no different, seriously Stage Coach. I have figured this out if you want this business venture to be a success. Seats for a pound. 94 seats on a coach don't take the bathroom out of the bus make every seat a shiny swamp Perfection everyone could read the newspaper, it's rubbish isn't it?

Yes, I'm going to talk about the new Ferrari, it's called scalletti and it replaces the 456, so it's the new four-seater and it's magnificent and it costs around 150, just under 150,000 uh, it's 4 and something lers 4.6, it has 540 horses of force to the brake, not to 60 in about 4 in a little bit of a second. I don't like. so bad, it's a very nice car, can we just stop turning the tap, hold the tape there? That doesn't look like a Ferrari, it's not your Ferrari school boy IDE wedge, the problem is that it's designed, it's designed by pin and finina, okay, now, the best designer of pin and farina. right now there is a man called Ken yes now people called Ken are people who lend lawn mowers no great person in history was not Ken rembrand was not Ken shopan there has never been a Pope Ken there has not been a Ken Kenneth in England but that was a Kenneth like Kenneth Kendall who is allowed but not Ken, you can't have a Ferrari Ken is actually an interesting example of when was the last one and you are invited to join here when was the last really cool Ferrari 456.

Now the 575 looks great. The 355 looked good when it arrived but dated and in fact it now has a Ferrari and he had one. It's no, no, what do you think? I always like the 4, the 412 series, the 412, oh dear, you have. a beer with a beard your opinion everything slides down here what you like about it I actually don't like it very much I'm just interested in knowing what you don't like about it I don't, it doesn't have any in It either You haven't already Lost quite a bit of weight, haven't you? Since the last series. I was hoping you'd notice.

Actually, that's not yours anymore. We could have made another one with what I lost. True, it's not there. It must have been a hot Ferrari, ignore the bearded guy, there must have been a good relationship between the owner of the data and now, what G, what 288, the vampire, I have the 288 GTO in blood red, sitting in its coffin, Steve Str , he is the work, the cars that have arrived. Throughout this year you remember when Ford promised us the Focus RS they said it was going to be a road rally car with four-wheel drive and 300 braking horsepower and well it never happened no, they left the homework on the bus yes well all plans are abducted by aliens on the way to school, it never came right, this ladies and gentlemen is the Fiesta RS now, if you like the way it looks, don't hold your breath because that won't happen either, but if you want it a exciting fiesta, we have one in the studio, in fact it's called Fiesta ST, now it's a fancy little thing coming later this year, it'll have a 2 liter engine and 150 brake horsepower, with lots of shiny little sporty details . a kind of modern t on the xr2, a very pretty little thing that has a big problem: its name St, you can't call the car and st, why don't the girls see that they laugh, you know, whisper it too, I know you'll be embarrassed , come on. whisper to me sanitary pad it's a sanitary pad that's what St.

Every girl goes to the office they put on a sanitary pad and of course the worst thing is that if they make a diesel version it will be an STD. I have another car that is Coming in August is the new mini Cabriolet. They are going to make versions of it. This is the Cooper version. Actually, what are noises for? It's going to cost it's going to cost well, generally it's going to cost around 2,500 more than the equivalent hardtop, so the kooper S supercharged version is going to cost around 17 and a half 15 and a half for the kooper around 13 and a half, I think for the mini, yes, but the mini is not a cheap small car, it is an expensive small car and I like that it is a metrosexual car.

How metrosexual, it's the new thing. It's for the guy who doesn't want it. I know too much Butch, he doesn't want to have you like a big 4x4 and spends quite a bit of money on hair products, don't target me, he's into shirts, he probably wears cowboy boots, that kind of thing, it's a mix of no. a metrof flaming sexual you're a metrosexual I can see you in one of those how would you know what a metr sesexual is not only am I in touch with my feminine side I'm in touch with my gay side too you it's probably true, 17 grand and a half, where Everything goes a little wrong for me.

It's a great little car. I hope to drive one, so hey, I have an interesting statistic, you know, the big Mercedes from Mybach. Mercedes mybach How much is 292,000 there? Do you know how much it depreciates during the first three years of its life? Not much, I think, but I guess not. I wasn't earning £1,200 a week, oh, a week now. The good thing is that that is before. You paid for the shower, yes, before getting gas. You wake up in the morning. I have lost 1,200 pounds. What should I do? Everyone will lose another 1,200 this time tomorrow. I think there is a solution for this, even if I buy the new Rolls-Royce.

Ghost because you only lose 1.00 pounds a week that's a lot closer that's a bargain yeah the highway agency is ok they have these kind of guidelines for those people who have billboards so they don't put them up near roads that have a speed limit. of 60 million hours I don't know if you have noticed that I have been driving all summer all over Britain on motorways, farmers are putting trucks in their fields and then selling the sides to similar local companies, yes, here are a tip if you are one of these local companies, keep it brief because the other day I saw one that said I want to use Jag, go to wwwi I want to use j.c.

TV or call Debbie at 012 because I'm going to earn 70 M per hour. Wow, I never saw it. What is it about? They really are farmers, not editors, aren't they? That's the problem, yes, it wants to be some kind of used Jaguar, the next one is gone, no. That's too many words, hold it tight, okay, the Jags are gone, no, I was in that Porsche, wof, no, Jags too L, wow, I want one of those, the worst, although the worst I've ever seen, if anyone ever Maybe he uses the M40 like him and me. what to do to go to work, okay, someone has written on a big long wall when they arrive in London, why do you do this every day?

It's so depressing. I know why I do this. You've seen? I've seen it and then there's another one. on a bridge you look up and it just says Lemmings it's Monday leave me alone that's horrible what I should say although really I should say something like why do you do this every day why didn't you go out with me and drink meth and paint on a wall this I can't be that cocky you're really right that's true in case I'm on the bridge I'm actually going to paint the top of my car and it's going to say something like get a job buy graffiti on the upside of a car I like it Yes, can I talk about a car, yes, of course, uh, new Ferrari, very exciting, is this one now, it's more or less the same design as the Porsche, it's good, it's new, it's new, it's new 360 yes you like the 360 ​​so cool because it had a 3.6L engine, this one is called the 430, that's a clue, it's a 4.3L engine. 11 £17,500 which will take you n to 60 in about 3.9 seconds, just magnificent 200M per hour too.

Yes, just fantastic, but you, I'm bored of Ferrari, how can you be bored? B with that. I'm bored because we actually have a few in the series and everyone I've gotten into is brilliant. absolutely brilliant, but they've become like Pete Sampras, you know, when he wasn't, you just think when he used to walk onto the pitch there was that feeling of 'I don't care if you play with Myra Hindley, I want you to lose'. I think they might be a little tarry too, to be honest, what do you mean? I went to the Ferrari factory last week,Very interesting, they got a bunch of monkeys with their babies and put them up.

They put them in a box and then heated the floor. This really happened. You know, I just reported that they heated the floor until it became really unbearable and all the monkeys picked up their babies and carried them, but when the floor got hotter and hotter until it was absolutely unbearable each of them put the babies down. on the ground and stood over them. I'm surprised, I'm surprised you didn't save this for the Christmas show mate, what a lovely story, a nice T. I love a story, I'm just saying. These driverless cars everyone says oh aren't they smart? can stop at red lights they will have to face all kinds of things like who do I kill?

Now we're programmed to take care of ourselves and these driverless cars are going to be programmed to do the math and say a lot of people out there, I'm going to kill you and if you're going to stand on a baby monkey now, the world's first purpose-built race track. world in Brooklyn, do you remember that well? No, it will, oh yes, obviously it will. Okay, I have something. pictures of this here to remind everyone this was on the outskirts of London and look at it and everyone was walking fast and we were in black and white those days and you went into disbelief look at this 120M per hour on the bench and then there's James May looking at his pedal car and then it was just fantastic, but the W started, they built an airplane factory at the speedway and that was the end of that, since then there has been a group of enthusiasts who want Brooklyn to reopen and, last week, the Lottery people gave them a £4.6 million grant and I think it will be brilliant to win back the Bentley belt from Aston.

At the weekend, Father Inton watched a tour with the Duke of Lon. It's a very good idea to spend an attractive Sunday afternoon watching bullies kill each other. Just go down the A3 on a Sunday afternoon, let's watch the ear come off Bradford's head. How much did you say they had been given £4.6 million? Well, that's not enough. Did the mall next to our office cost one and a half billion? Yes, exactly, it's not much. You're right. Hammond, in fact. all they can afford to do with that is reconstruct the start and finish line, well, sticking with just the start and finish line of a race circuit isn't much use in itself, no, unless spend the 4.6 million on lottery tickets, it is the lottery money that could take the subsidy.

Spend on lottery tickets and win much more. Richard Hamond's good ideas there saved motorsport for the nation.