TikToks So Funny They Destroyed Internet

One eye open when I'm sleeping will you come home with me put it on autopilot that was a good shot well I'll go I suck oh and sometimes I swallow let's get these things out of what you call first turn this thing off your water good lord thank you good lord Eg, calm water, friend, did you know that the speed of light could travel around the world seven times in one second? Damn, what else? The speed of light also goes from the moon to the earth in one second. Wow, continue. Yes, yes, the light goes from the Sun to the Earth in eight minutes, so we are seeing the Sun as it was eight more minutes ago, more, it goes from the planet Uranus to the Earth in two hours, continues and then from the planet Neptune in uh in four hours damn it actually takes forever for light to get to us from there yeah bro the speed of light is the fastest thing in the universe but the universe is a huge place.

I mean, how long do you think it takes for light to reach us? the closest star to the sun a few weeks maybe yes try it in four years oh my god yes the speed of light covers about six trillion miles in a year so instead of saying proxima centauri It's 24 billion miles away, we just say it's four light years away. A light year is the distance that light travels in one year, and you know, since light has this finite speed, we can only see things in space as

they

were in the past because light takes time to reach us, so that when we look at Proxima Centauri we are seeing it as it was four years ago, not as it is now.

So you said it's the closest star to the Sun. Didn't I read somewhere that there are like a million stars in our galaxy? Yeah, I mean more like 400 billion. but i'm having an existential crisis right now that's

funny

yeah so the milky way is a pretty big galaxy it's a hundred thousand light years across so you know it's crazy the fastest thing ever , light still takes a hundred thousand years. to get to the opposite side of the galaxy I'm going, well wait, we haven't even talked about the distance to other galaxies, but there are hundreds of billions of those too, shut up, what flies to the left, flies to the right , crisscross? wrist drag shot very smooth shot oh my god what is that?

It looks like the one you just bought. It is not a rod of very different weight and size. It is for smaller fish. Is better. It's the same thing and the only thing you will catch will be. a cold watermelon for 20 years, so what are you doing here with all this double-cheeked ass on a Thursday afternoon? Don't be jealous if you see your ex with someone else because your parents taught you to give away your used toys to the less fortunate. I came home from a road trip and surprised my boyfriend with a pig 2m away.

I need you to hold it, that's what I need you to carry, oh look how dreamy and cute there is a Mr. Pig inside, I see it, Mr. Pig, don't do it. let him out, he'll run away it's this mod mister picky yes it's our mister piggy you missed your bankers aren't you mad no piggy oh we don't have to go what am I supposed to do all day while you're at school? I don't know what you normally do when I'm away, so maybe we shouldn't park here. What the hell is this when your doctor asks you if you are sexually active?

How are you tonight, dear? Very well, I only wish you. wouldn't you call me for you little uzi a stolen zombie poster I really like this ah oh yes yes oh no our table is broken I love this song but come on let's go 20 up okay 20 down hello hey can you pass that to me? juice and that remote control from that counter mom, you just passed by there, come on, now can you bring it to me please, I'm tired, I feel like getting up again. I encourage you that if you choose to participate in the lake challenge, understand that you will too. participate in going to court, so last but not least, only one bathroom will be open.

The only bathroom that will be open will be that guy's, bro, this guy in red shorts is ass juice, bro, what the hell, how are you tonight, darling? very good just I wish you wouldn't call me I love this game come on good morning clyde good morning uh today we are going to take the final exam I hope everyone uses the study guide for sure because none of those questions are on this test now the final is about 13 chapters of things we never go over in class the ending is not multiple choice the ending is 50 questions I need three paragraph answers for each question, including a 30-page essay in the back the ending is worth 100 percent of everything your grades, which means that if you fail this final exam you will get an F in every class you take this semester and you will be kicked out of college, any questions lower your damn hand now everyone ready, no, I think so, okay, you might be finishing the exam, pencils, pencils. down pencils down that's it that's it that's it it's over time's up time passed the tests for you hey what are you doing here oh wow casey what did

they

give you i'm showing my best friend chris one of my new beats why bro, no?

What's happening? Well, when I came down, all invitations to this event have been declined. What's happening? Let me take a look at this. Are you kidding? Wait, Barack Obama said no, Lee Gaga said no, Orpah said no, oh my god, Macklemore said no. you gotta talk you won't get away with it what you won't get away you won't get away you won't get away foreigner oh my god brother hell no one 21 guests you'll come home with me okay Yeah we're here bowling your brother is kicking our butts right now. Yes, you know his syndrome has decreased but his game has improved.

No, that's what I'm saying. Why don't you say he's my brother? I can say that, but why? Laughter rule number one don't get caught using the school bathroom it smells good in here what are you doing I know he's really scared now you know pet owners what is something you accidentally conditioned your animal without realizing it. I've been waiting for some of this to show up because let me tell you, this big boy has a problem starting fights with people, fights he can't finish, so why did I accidentally train him when I'm around people, especially my husband?

So naturally, when this big bastard was with me, I did this too, so now what does he do to the other cat? And at first I didn't notice, it was my husband who noticed that he was doing it to the other cats. and it actually scares them for some reason which I find funnier than the fact that he learned it from me. I literally can't believe it. I gave my older sister my Facebook access because hers was hacked so she could go to the market and get it. things for her apartment and I keep getting like 10 million notifications.

I wonder how much she's buying and I go on today and look and she's literally flirting with people on my profile, if that's you, I'm sorry, apparently she wanted this. mini fridge so she offered him 15 and he said no it's 220 dollars but she's still trying to get it for 15 so now she's trying to spread it and she's like oh you make me laugh he's like I wish I could give it to you for free later. everything we've been through together please don't break up with me and then she keeps saying why can't you give it to me for so cheap and he says if you agree to a blind date with me then the refrigerator is yours.

Theoretically it's a charming dinner game with the surprising young gentleman and a mini refrigerator. I mean, it doesn't get any better than that, although mixing business with pleasure, are we sure all of this is work and no play makes people bored? It's just a blind date. The limit and I think she finally realized what she was getting into. She said: Let me come back to you tomorrow. I knew you would answer me. My brain said no, but my heart said you would text me. She invited a boyfriend and said she would be waiting for a response.

This would be the easy way out for her, but no, she decided to respond later with goodnight. Good night, she was waiting for your text and you know I couldn't sleep. yesterday thinking about what your answer would be then she told him that she couldn't sleep either he said no way she said I was up all night he said thinking about me really yes always thinking about you now are you kidding then he asked us to do dinner again I can assure you that we will have the best time of your life my schedule is tight I need to see what I can do can you spare an hour of your busy schedule I guess that's all I ask come on, I really want to sleep but I won't be able to do it before you answer and then I guess she sold the mini fridge so I guess she'll get us another one if we go on the date because she says I'm a man of my word, a date for a refrigerator and a romantic evening and she's actually trying to keep up go ahead with this.

I'm going out with my sisters on Monday. You could join us. I'm a little shy. I don't think it's a good idea. I want to take you on a romantic date not your sister grace well it's just the first time I saw your photo my heart whispered that's the one I don't know if it's true or not so with your approval I want to go out with you like a gentleman let me know if it's possible give me an hour of your busy time from your schedule, yes, so my sister is a little crazy, but she supports her, I don't know, sir, I want to let you know that your wife's operation went well, feel free to see Let's see her at the end of all this Jesus Christ of God's work of course she made her ugly she is a man I just gained weight where is everything good you gave him a big, fat and juicy bald head he is so stupid that your wife is the other one room thank you doctor of course