This Man Will Never Get A Date

Online dating is quite difficult. I remember when he was single and used Tinder. My go-to line was Do you like Brendan Fraser movies? It worked with tremendous success. It was like a real life cheat code for getting laid, but I understand not everyone goes for it. To be as gentle as I am though, I would say that no one has less game than the guy I'm about to show you,

this

should lift your spirits if you ever feel bad about yourself, like I suck at online dating. , I just know that you

will

. Never be as bad as

this

living organism I'm about to show you.

For those who have been on the channel for a while, you

will

know that I have always enjoyed reading horrible flirtations and also really disastrous attempts at romance online. I used to have a whole flirt series on Facebook, which is where I learned about lasagna, you know, and also a line I still use today. Put your ass on my baby. Things like that. I have always loved her. Not really. I no longer make content around this, but today I had to come out of retirement. I had to dust off the old championship belt here for this one because I saw this on Reddit and I was grinning from ear to ear, it's so bad, so this is where our journey is. start now again this was posted on reddit so there's a 90 chance it's fake but damn I'm going to suspend disbelief and just enjoy the ride now of course I'm no expert here.

Rick wouldn't call me at the store. at pawn stars to verify the authenticity of this piece, but there are countless very real examples with pathetic guys acting like this, so there's a good chance it's real, so these two have been talking for a while and my man walks in with clown shoes and ask if you are taking birth control. I know it's a personal question, but it's important to know and then they say, "Okay, I'll cancel on Wednesday." This could have gone better. This is not optimal. This is a rough start here yes. It was a fast race, this would be a restart, this is as bad as you could expect.

He immediately ruined the

date

they had planned by immediately going crazy and just sending it and from there there was no recovery and it becomes real. Bad, he doesn't handle this super well, there was no grace or elegance, well I'm kidding dude, relax, he just, yeah, it's just comedy honestly, he's practicing his stuff, why are you overreacting? I feel uncomfortable with these jokes, okay, sorry. I'll stop, okay, no, I'll still cancel it and now we enter the wild card arc of him. Well, you're really missing out on that by being so uptight, but that's okay, I'll go to work and make 900 in 12 hours.

You are really seriously overreacting and you are wondering and wondering why you are single. I'm still waiting for your response. Ha ha. In fact, I had booked you twice with another girl, so I'm kind of glad you decided to be a psycho. You probably want to cancel it. This is complete. Here's a rollercoaster of emotions, this guy is hitting all five stages of denial in six text messages, this is getting crazy, oh, real quick, so let's break it down piece by piece, you know, at first it's okay, you're missing a catch. the perfect guy i'm a real man check my kd in fortnite i'm crazy and you know what i'm going to make 900 in 12 hours at my job because i'm making fat racks i got stacks It builds up like i'm a little crazy i'm one of the richest men in the world, in fact, so you can see the panic starting to set in when gambling for money didn't work out.

I guess five minutes had passed and he was already hyperventilating and breathing into a paper bag to calm himself down so he tries to put it on her like something is wrong with her she's overreacting why are you freaking out over nothing? It's like he saw a plane with that girl she's afraid of flying so they start shaking her hey get a grip come on get a grip it was just a joke then he goes straight into his bad boy mode he puts on his sunglasses and his trench coat and says: do you know what this really is?

It's good for me, I booked you twice with another girl, so the fact that you're psycho is helpful for me because now I can go with this other girl. In fact, I was just trying to get like 10 girls to have sex with on the same day. and you were just one of many so it's no big deal but are you sure you want to cancel? Like I'm totally telling the truth but are you sure you want to cancel? I love that attempt it's like she's so desirable in fact I completely forgot that I already had another girl I was going to have this day so it's okay and then he has the audacity to call her a psychopath and I love the way he says it. says.

I booked this man twice. He's

never

really had a

date

in his life it's like he's just writing it down on a calendar like it's part of his job now we transition into the third act here into total neediness and terrifying obsession please call me please. I'm at work dude lol I know I'm being incredibly annoying showing you how most guys act so maybe you'll realize I'm not that bad so I'll see you on Wednesday. That doesn't even make sense. okay until that joke this is a hail mary this guy hatched the ultimate plan so after realizing that begging to be called back was a bit of a weird moment of self-reflection he says okay yeah that's a bit strange then he says how do I get out of this now that I have it?

He was actually just pretending to be needy and obsessed. It was called acting. Actually he was just doing this to show you what most other simpletons don't do. A nice, sophisticated guy like me. I'll see you on Wednesday a certain friend, I was joking with you, it's a joke, you know, I'm a doctor, right, my brain thinks at a much higher level than yours or the average person's, it wasn't even sexual, it was a joke and I said that if you don't like that kind of jokes, I won't joke like that anymore, this should be the end, you should say: okay, great, and then if I do it again, you will be angry, yes, he is a doctor, doctor, love, baby.

This guy is good, this is very simple. I have to imagine that he's not actually a doctor. I mean, maybe Dr. Evil, I have no idea, but anyway I love that it's like he actually has a galactic brain. I'm thinking on a totally different level. you and all these other commoners I'm too smart that's my curse that's the burden I carry I'm too smart that's why I made this joke and the joke is a thinking men's joke it's actually an anti-joke in fact you know there is matter and antimatter this is an anti-joke and now I'm explaining it to you so that you don't have the right to be angry about that you see that you are wrong to be angry about that and it's because I'm much smarter than you and I understand that it's not your fault for being stupid, But I know that since I'm a doctor I know what's right and what's wrong when it comes to joking with you, just get angry, right?

Right off the bat and being rude to someone, that's a big turn-off and just no, yeah, she was the one who was rude, she was nice enough to give you a warning that she's canceling, she's like, hey, you're a weirdo when I'm there. By canceling, she could have just not said anything and not shown up on Wednesday, wasting your time going there and you just sit there waiting and not even getting a response, but she was nice enough to cancel in your face like if that were far away. More than you deserved, okay, so rant about, are we okay now?

Yes, I think things are good now. In fact, I'm reading the room and it looks like he may have solved this problem here and fixed everything. Just talk to me. I said I'm canceling it I didn't do what I talked to someone what those aren't coherent sentences of course I'm talking to you you just got discouraged after I asked you for that night off do you know how hard that is for you? Just so you understand, do you know how hard it is for me to get a night off from work? Continuing further, let us leave this childish nonsense.

I'll see you on wednesday. This is it, don't take no for an answer, which I honestly think is true. The worst advice you can give someone, no, it's like the most important answer you have to accept, by not accepting no, you'll just go to jail at some point, like you're asking for something horrible to happen to you. no it's an important thing you need to recognize and respect and then they respond, you don't need to criticize my prayers, changing my mind and telling you this doesn't really make it disconcerting, I was honest, you said you already booked another date with someone else.

Go enjoy it, I don't know why you try, I don't know why you try with me, especially since you think so little of me, Mandy, your own full-fledged car salesman, see you Wednesday, sorry. It's okay, I'm just not leaving it, there's no chance she'll show up on Wednesday. This now looks like a real serial killer who is scratching his neck looking for his next victim as if he can't help but keep saying you'll come on Wednesday. I know. You're going to meet me here on Wednesday call me immediately I'm at work I'm not going to take the call okay then I'll see you on Wednesday right are we okay?

I feel like she might be talking to King Ghidorah here. three separate heads, all talking at once and all with different thoughts, one of them is just an android who can only say Wednesday, one of them is like a spiteful lunatic who thinks there's some galactic cerebral intellect he can't help but put into play. her and then one of them is like a lobotomized zombie who constantly keeps asking if we're okay, if we're okay, now it's just as wild as the changes this guy makes in these text messages here and then he's like, look, my mom died recently. , OK?

I'm really not in the best place to be bothered, so if you can understand that, if you could understand that, that would be great, please buddy, please answer me. Can you stop being immature and call me now? Admittedly, she was being very immature about this whole situation by not understanding such sensible comments from a gentleman like this, it really was her clearly being immature and I also can't help but respect Xbox Live's actual tactic of saying that her mother died, which It's ironic 2005 Xbox Live. Right there like your mom is dead and it's supposed to be like checkmate, he really tried it's like oh mom is dead so now you have to excuse everything I've said and you have to go on this date with me, already I'll see you're Wednesday, come on, stop being immature, so yeah, anyway, that's where this story ends.

Hopefully, if some of you are bad at online dating, this will help you feel a little better and maybe help you improve in that regard in some way, hopefully none of them. You're just as bad as this guy or close to it, but if you're awkward and awkward when it comes to text conversations, maybe this will lift your spirits a little because you're probably not as bad as this guy. boy anyway that's all see you