The Whitest Cuban You've Ever Seen. Jose Sarduy - Full Special

Case you are seeing, you have abdominals and incredible eyes in which you can lose for

ever

. It is really good with animals and loves walks on the beach. And it is sensitive but also strong. Very good, so I had to add that part. Please do not win. (Laughter of the audience) I am a pilot, that many people do not know much because it is immediately like, oh, are you a pilot? How Tom Cruise in Top Gun? As, no. It would be so small. Um, yes. (audience laughing) I can't make that joke in Los Angeles because lawyers and things.

Yes, Scientology may not be real, but its legal department is definitely real. (audience laughing) No, I am a load pilot. That is the work I had. So, if you

ever

see the Top Gun movie, there is a part when your boss shouts. He says: "If you ruin" so much, I will make you fly "load planes

full

of rubber dogs" of Hong Kong ". And that is the part of the movie when I go, that is me! That is me, you, guys, that is what I am talking about. I am in Top Gun. Check. Strange. Rish) I heard the mortar and shouted as a child." Ladies and gentlemen. " (audience laughing) "I am talking about." Who is flying the plane? "Whatever, do" white and red. "Make the white." We call this Mike Tyson. "He likes to bite." (The audience laughed) told that story during a show, and an instructor of mine in simulators who flew during Vietnam saw the show and says: I had a joke.

You can add this story to your story. You just don't use my name, okay? So Colonel Cooper flew in (audience laughter) flying in Vietnam. They had live chickens in the back. They reach this town where they are going to land and make these as assault landings, and the track has been bombarded. They cannot land. And they can put parachute in everything except chickens. Then they have a problem. They get a meeting on the flight cover of the plane and the commander, what are we going to do? I need ideas. What do we do with these chickens?

We cannot throw them on the back in the cages. We are going too fast. All chickens will die. What do we do? The 18 -year -old boy, the first mission, the first mission, "Hey, the chickens" are birds, right? (Laughter of the audience) "We simply throw them one by one," How about that? "The way it works in the army, when you have a brilliant idea, you have to do that idea. So they are flying on this village in Vietnam. They obtained the open load doors in three planes in the formation. And then in what has to be the call of the most strange air force radio of all time, they said," said the Vietnam chickens in Vietnam. " Nothing intercom at the back.

In walks in this 18 -year -old aviator. The left arm is scratched and bloody. He has feathers on his shoulders. They go, what happened? He goes, "that worked" for the first chicken. (Audience laughs) "And then the rest of them" became really intelligent. " laughing) I will tell you the best lesson I learned in the army all this time. of ice. Cima of the ramp as, everyone is careful. He said: "Hey, who landed the plane" that time? "Everyone is going, the lieutenant did. And he says: "I have been working here" for 15 years, that is the best landing "I have

seen

." I walked with the safest Strut. in the military.

Don's Be Cocky. Eventually you'll look stupid. (Audience laughing) So and Did my position time, and now i'm a Flight Instructor. That's what they call me. Flight Instructor Down in Del Rio, Texas. Anyone Been There On Purpose? (Audience laughing) This is great, isn't it? Yeah, You Don't Need to Go, Everybody Else. We just drop a Chick-Fil-a Like a Couple of Years ago and They's Like, "We're a Metropolis." I'M Like, no You Ain't. No You Ain't. I'm an instructor on Paper but my job is really i'm a flight screener. My Job is to make Sure People That Shouldn't Be Pilots Don't Become Pilots.

You're Welcom, America. (Audience laughing) Because age are People That Shouldn't Be Pilots. I was getting ready to take off with This One Kid. We're Sitting by The Runway, Right? One of the Busiest Airports in the World. People Landing and He's Just- Right? We're Sitting Front to Back. I can see what you are doing. That is what a pilot says. They were in the formation, 10 feet away. This is push it up. This is Raise The Roof. Come on Now. (Audience Laughing) That Kid Flies For Delta Now. Sleep Tight. Sleep Tight. (Audience laughing) i'm going to end my show Talking About One of My Favorite Subjects- Love.

WHO's in Love Tonight? Clap it up if you're in love. (Audience Clapping) look at all The People Like, Why You Got To Bring That Up, Bro? Now listen, i Think-- I love the longtime couples. WHERE ARE MY LONG TIME COUPLE AT? Anybody Longtime? (Audience Cheering) Right there. How Long Right here? How many? - 30. - 30. and the man an answered. What? She Said, We're Sitting Up Front. He's like, let me look at my calendar. I may have to an answer sub questions. (Audience Laughing) That Was Good. Do you remember the first night you went out with him? - Yeah. - You Did?

Did You Kiss Him The First Night? HE's Like, look at me, Sir. (Audience laughing) and that's fine. Brilliant.