THE VLOG SQUAD'S ROAST OF JASON NASH!!

What's up guys? We have a great video for you today. We went out, had a good barbecue from me and the whole

vlog

ging team and none of this could have been possible without our sponsor today. Simply Safe Simply Safe is an incredibly reliable home security system. that will keep your house safe oh wait a minute oh it looks like someone is trying to break in right now come on i got you oh how did you catch me? Hey, what's up with the beret? Shouldn't you have a balaclava? Oh, a can of thief. I'm not fashionable, well I'm not the one here robbing houses anyway, how did you get me?

Oh easy, I saw you on my Simply Safe home security system. What is Simply Safe. What the hell is? Simply Safe. Simply Safe is a reliable home security system. that keeps your house completely safe, just go online or order it over the phone and it will be delivered right to your home and you can set it up in less than an hour, yes an hour, and they have sensors to cover all the bedroom door windows . plus water sensors, temperature sensors and high definition cameras, that's how you got me, yeah buddy, got you in high definition, very impressive, but I bet it costs a fortune, not at all though.

You get 24-hour protection for just 50 cents a day with no contracts on top of them. won Best Overall Security System of 2020 by US News and World Report. Wow, no wonder you caught me, but what attracted you to just being safe, you know, as a new homeowner, it was very important to me to have a security system that I felt. well and just safe was that security system for me, well I must say you have a beautiful house here and I am very happy that you keep it safe, thank you, that means a lot of it sounds like sirens, oh yeah, it's probably the police. monitoring center, uh, alert someone right away if anyone tries to break in, so I better jump, hey, thanks again, man, and don't worry, I'm not coming back here for a bye, now watch out, he got to complain about you the heart of hollywood california this is

jason

antonion's

roast

now please welcome your host matthew good evening everyone good evening i'm matt keane i'm going to be your host tonight for

jason

nash

's

roast

let's leave it for jason

nash

and now let's leave it for our roasters Jason, thank you so much for having this event once again, you've got a bunch of kids together for a video where you take all the money, I mean what is this, the factory bar don iPhone is here? tonight aka one of the worst shiners ever joe volpis is here joe a lot of mukbangs ago clearly out of ideas this guy will put anything in his mouth for clout just like corinna natalie is known as the heartthrob of the team

vlog

s todd is destined to have a heart attack, uh, but that's not to be confused with jonah, who is destined to have a heart attack.

My good friend Zane Hijazi is here tonight uh we didn't ask Zayn to get up tonight because we thought he would bomb um that's not some middle eastern joke it's just because we know zayn stutters when he talks jeff whitake is here tonight he actually tried to steal vardon's voice when he found out he had all that crack uh jason started vlogging with the sway boys recently because we all have it too old for him jason is cool for life jason i'm chris hanson with dateline nbc what are you doing here? man, what are you doing here? uh, jason's vlogs are so long that when david asked him to shorten them, jason just started filming with ilya jason i was going to make a joke about your weight, but I felt like it was just low hanging fruit.

Look, Jonah, a fruit is something that when eaten is nutritious and makes your body healthier. Jason actually met my parents in Texas when they accidentally walked into an open place. mic night and uh, that's not to be confused with Mike Sheffer doing a pole dance in the Saddle Range parking lot. We asked Jason's ex-wife if anything was off limits. She said there are no jokes about suicide. The idea that his children will grow up and never have anything to do with it. Another YouTube video is too exciting for me. We have a great show tonight for you.

Let's leave it for Jason Nash one more time. Our first toaster is Natalie's soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. Todd Smith. What's happening? Vlogging team. The streamies are looking pretty bright tonight. Hey? but we're actually here for the roast of jason nash aka the makeup artists we're busy today jason has found a new internet group for pervon believe it or not the influencer guys jason is like matthew mcconaughey since days confused keep going getting older and they stay the same age talking about people who aren't invited she and taylor are here but it's okay david can't go anywhere without his breast milk david what does the breast milk make jason wants to know she don't get too comfortable i I heard Tesla is low on battery oh man David hired her because she looks like Eliza and he hired Taylor because he also loves surrounding himself with assholes everywhere like he's talking about she has all these nudes.

Understand, no one will. my ex girlfriend corona copper is here tonight please wait, wait this just there are no more virgin gamers we have a few more he's really coming in no I'm not I'm looking at jeff and jeff like jack is here with the clout of her new boyfriend, I mean Scott, she will be dating him until he surpasses her in followers. My ex best friend. Everyone knows him. Scotty Sire. He's had a rough few months. Huh?, he lost 175 grand, broke up with his girlfriend, but hey, you gotta give. for him at least jack and scott pushed joe and annelise out of the most boring couple award joe volpis is here joe just so you know that cutting your hair is not a personality joe recently decided to start a second channel so people can't watch his videos twice jay boyce is here you may not remember him he's the guy we all silenced on instagram a year ago and he lives in scott's shadow but don't worry I checked on him before the show and he's still posting selfies ab . david dobrik is here, david is actually a big gift giver. he gave heath a lamborghini and zayn didn't alcoholism, but seriously, david, he's a player now he streams, that's a plus for me because he can't hear me, natalie in the other room, david, you're on your way to the bottom when you get there , ask scott. how he's he, he maybe he can take you back or if you're lucky Susie can take you.

Now I would like to say something about Natalie, I'm just kidding, I'm not an idiot I mean. I could say something about Natalie being catty behind closed doors, not everyone secretly hates her, but I want to get laid tonight feeling frisky right now, the real reason we're all forced into this room tonight, Jason Nash, used to be Jason and I's roommate. I'll tell you the only girl he brought home was a bag from Wendy's. The only time Jason sees his kids or when he's shooting tic tac for leverage, that way he only has to spend 15 seconds with him at a time.

Thanks guys. Great night, I'll see you after a few drinks. Our next toaster decided it was a good idea to launch her YouTube channel on September 11 and will probably harass us for compliments after the show. Let's leave it for Susie and Tony. He does not. having a bike for short people, no, make sure it's that rare, Matt, thanks for introducing me. You know everyone's career was after David he stops vlogging except Matt King because he never had a career to begin with. Jeff Whitake is here, unfortunately, Jeff works fine. More than his career, I know everyone likes to joke about how Jeff got Botox, but none of you would be joking if his cheeks were used as handlebars in prison.

They say Ellie is the nicest of the group, but have you seen Jonah around? box of twinkies, okay, i mean i'm proud of my brother jonah, you know he just moved into his new apartment, it's good to see him succeed, his next big purchase is saving for his neck, jason always jokes about killing himself, but he won't do it because he knows his kids will be sad scott what's your excuse it's good to see you sitting jason thanks it's good to be here you know he pulled his hip recently it's really exhausting setting up everyone's cocktails jason had a comedy central youtube show called seconds opportunities how many opportunities is the world going to give him look at him he's 95 years old in all honesty we love you jason blah blah blah he was supposed to say something sincere and personal I'm proud of you even though you came Until now, for years you struggled to make a living as a comedian , but not your bank account is the only attractive thing about you, thanks, our next toaster has stolen drug money and the whole Eric Andre program, let's leave it for Jeff, what are they? my jokes it's a magical night tonight I hope joe vulpes and david take this opportunity to come out of the closet we all know you guys are gay there's nothing wrong there's no way madison beer isn't your type david jason it's amazing that you have us everyone in this room tonight under the same roof, the only other night you'll probably be able to do this is at your funeral, so in a couple of weeks Matt King will be here tonight, unfortunately, right next to Jeff Epstein.

What's happening? Mike Sheffer. Don't know. Tell me how many times they cancel that joke. I'm going to continue doing it. You look like them. You look like them. I heard that Matt and Mike are going to open a chuck e cheese together because Matt is a rat and Mike likes to be around. kids talking about perverts tonight it's about jason i'm just kidding i'll talk to you in a second first i want to talk about my son todd all of you kids at home watching this probably idolize david for whatever reason but todd is the one nailed every Girl in this room What are you laughing at?

He hasn't told you yet. I mean, yeah, Todd is a jerk, but at least he's easy on the eyes. He could be much worse. He could be an idiot and an ugly entitled piece. Jonah. I will do that. Say this, if any talented young man hopes to make it big in this town, just give up because if Jonah made it, it doesn't make any sense that Jonah makes more money than his parents in 10 lifetimes, but still dresses like a 10. a kid of a year that was lost at Disneyland and Jason looks like a father who lost a ten year old.

Jason is so old when we mention ticking that he thinks we're talking about his pacemaker. I'm kidding. Jason actually works very well. harsh on your videos that's what makes it so much more embarrassing it's so long and hard to watch I really have nothing to say about you jason you already do a good job and you're embarrassed since these things usually end with a sincere and kind At the end I will say that Jason gave me my first opportunity to do stand-up after watching him fail over and over again and still be able to make a living out of it, I guess that means as long as you have a lot of pretty people.

Rich and talented friends, our next toaster is Natalie, who loves to eat especially sloppy seconds, as some of you may know, the secret is already out, uh, Todd and now we're dating, um, which, honestly, is one of the most difficult phrases I have ever had to say I'm sorry. We all know that Todd has dated some of the hottest women in town and he really is his way to the top and I plan to do the exact same thing starting at the bottom with you, Todd, okay, Jonah, you're next and Jeff, I'll see you in eight months too todd's beautiful, smart, talented ex-girlfriend is here tonight olivia oh oh wait olivia isn't here well i guess we can make fun of karina, damn todd you really pick them right karina recently told us she signed an important agreement to show you. tits on camera but to our surprise but to our surprise it was for facebook and not for pornhub no not really, although I am very proud of you, you are killing it, it is amazing to see and I love seeing you in all your ferraris and your porsches.

Private jets, fancy dinners, all of this amazing stuff and I really hope it's worth it to double-team the two six-year-old men who convinced you they were billionaires. Joking apart. Fran is a very good friend and I love it when she comes. every six months and she pretends to want David for Cloud. I think I saw Mike Sheffer in the audience. Mike, we are very happy that you are part of the group of friends. We needed to diversify a little on short notice and the Jews really were you. that friend in the group who always gets picked last, like sometimes for a birthday, it's like can we invite Mike or should we just leave the seat open.

Sometimes, honestly, it's better to have a free seat than to have Mike at the table. Jack Reed, my friend Jason. and David's manager Jack Reed is here tonight or Jack is referring to himself only David's manager David Dobrik the queue is tired people keep sending me and David but I feel so attracted to him like Jonah for his salad, that's not true, but David is. He really he's been stepping out of his comfort zone lately, he justlaunch a new perfume, have a new app, have a new TV show about discovery, all these things that no one cares about this quarantine.

David and I spent a lot of time together and David. He loves to reminisce and re-watch old vlogs in the living room and I always encourage him. I say, yeah, let's turn that on. I love collecting evidence for my future lawsuit in 10 years. David believes that he will be rich at the end of The day I will profit from this friendship, some of you will know that Ilya's birthday was yesterday and that he had sex with a girl in David's bed. However, David was really upset because he wanted to be the one to have affiliate sex. last night but now let's move on to the man of the night, Jason Jason doesn't do any drugs but he should because his damn life is so depressing we all know his son Wyatt is smoking crack and you already suck at criticism Jay you could do it.

Well, it sucks to give your kid a discount on some medications, by the way, Jason, before the show, did you ask your stylist on the first day out of rehab? You look like Jesus Christ. You look like a wax figure that was rescued from a fire. a little too lateYour own 75 year old mother looks better than you, but at least you have that nice hairline. Unfortunately, our friend Zane can't say the same. Jason has a failed movie called Jason Nash. He is married, which I imagine is from his ex-wife's perspective. the sequel is called jason nash he is dying alone jason's taste in women is impeccable he constantly flirts with my mom and gets rejected but i think he should aim for someone else in his own league like a trash bag or maybe jonah but It's not your fault that They are single women who get jealous, they just aren't willing to share your lips with David's ass.

Our next guest had an audition for snl and by coming here you can see how it turned out please welcome Jonah. What's up, guys? Thank you for having. For me, this is a really special night. I'm happy for Corinna, she bought a new Ferrari and John must be exhausted, as some of you may know, I moved into the same apartment complex as Jeff. Now I sleep with one eye open which is funny because seth is jealous it's good to see the cyclops jeff whiaker 2020 has been a tough year man between jason's glued leg and jeff's ipad pirates of the caribbean what are you doing here what are you it happened man it used to be so funny tell me how do you have a lamborghini you're still the most boring person in the group shut up it's the biggest leech i know i hate seeing you around by the way it's not a joke it's great to see one of the linebackers of the Broncos here, my brother from Ardan the last six months, but I went from 13 to 38.

Older than me, he looks like a goalie for a club we couldn't even get into yet. David Dover, who is here tonight. He is one of the first women I met in Los Angeles. A lesbian. very nice not to be here at david talk like i have a microphone i can say whatever i want to know i knew tic tac would have three assistants david is known for putting disgusting animals in his vlogs he brought one here tonight my sister susie scott is here tonight He's not dead, it's a bummer that Scott lost $175k last year.

The last time I saw someone get scammed out of that much money was when David hired Natalie. Okay, he should be nice to Natalie. Everyone in the comments section loves you, it's probably because they don't know you. Natalie is one for me, I would be too if she was dating a 40 year old Instagram model. You are the worst couple in the world, by the way, no one wants to see it. Can you go? In fact, listen, shut up, Jeff beat your ass feeling to solve your confinement now that contains the truth are you hiding snacks in your bra right now like yes, now the man of the moment jason jason actually has a book about to post instead of todd can anyone take jason to the city buffet? with me every weekend so I don't go out with them because they give big discounts to seniors.

Jason is such a nice guy. I felt bad saying these jokes out loud and that's why I stole his headphones before the show. It's a silly joke though. I have to give up on Jason Mann and he has never worked out for her. He's been trying since the 19th century. Funny Jason and Paul Revere used to be neighbors, believe it or not. Jason has been alive for all 54 presidents. Benjamin Franklin financed one of his films each. of Jason's videos it was like it took him forever to upload them and no one wants to see them but seriously Jason you're a good guy thank god you're friends with David I would never talk to you if you weren't okay that's all. our final toaster looks like he now eats steroid flavored animals, for those of you who don't know me very well, I'm the kid that David turned invisible to and after listening to Todd's latest song I wish he'd rejected me too talking about torture.

I listened to the prisoners instead of waterboarding them. Now they are making them listen to Natalina. No, I'm just kidding. They are actually making them read Todd's poetry. Jeff. Jeff is here tonight. No. I used to think Jeff was one of the coolest members of the group. until he started dating my brother Jonah, I have to tell you that although puberty has been difficult, as you can see, I have been going through a bit of growing up recently. Ilia, a growth spurt is when your body gets bigger, Jason, thanks for letting me. do this on your channel or like everyone else does, when is david going to start vlogging again?

Jason, the first time we met. I remember thinking if someone left keisha in the sun for too long. I'm on ketchup recently. David has spent less time posting vlogs and more time hosting TV shows it's like the liza race but without the respect boom roast for being good sports I love them all like brothers and sisters although that doesn't say much because I hate susie and jonah a lot thanks to all our roadsters tonight this guy used to date ruth bader ginsburg let's leave it for jason now guys thank you so much for being here tonight thank you for taking time out of your busy schedules doing absolutely nothing I know this is a group lazy uh i wanna shout out to the unfiltered podcaster stars here or as most call it, zayn and heath, unlistenable, how dare you?

I'm giving you a platform, good luck, getting 73,000 views in the paper this week, do you think you're on? david or something like that is what you think jonah I'm real gives you jonah because he'll give me my vlogs and say your vlogs are horrible and then I turn on yours and they're just as bad Bad can we use David as a thumbnail? I'm like and then I go and it's David in your thumbnail. I know you had to pay in red. Okay guys, sorry we started late tonight, but instead I was eating out with Natalie's mom and her RV. from a mukbang i did a dive look look it up on joe's channel aka the vlog

squad

dump mike sheffer is here tonight aka who cares?

The first 10 times Mike came, David thought he was my rabbit. Mike is Matt. king's manager, the only thing sadder than matt king's career is managing matt king's career, not to say mike sheffer is creepy, but jillaine maxwell tried to start a podcast with him, does anyone understand this? Half the room got it, you got it, scott, stop. taking pictures of jack in the backyard and reading a newspaper we were going to have a dj here tonight but none of them would come because corona gave everyone chlamydia i had more dj's insiders than an oak tree so an oak tree could also save a lot of work there Also, Jeff Whittick is here tonight.

I was the first person to let Jeff stand up and I want to tell everyone I'm so sorry. What a mistake, since they know Jeff was in prison and he's not sure what's worse, solitary confinement or solitary confinement. living with jonah my manager jack is here hi jack how are you jack? Can you tell me why David just bought a nine million dollar house and I'm still paying my 2016 taxes? David's new house is beautiful, in fact, he has a beautiful backyard there. perfect for your garden gnome helium jonah funny jokes tonight great job you did very well jonah some would describe jonah as fat, unfunny and pre-diabetic and those people would be doctors.

I'm glad susie is here in the same room with jonah tonight. i finally have proof that you're not just jonah and a wig you know susie and jonah are related because they both have their mother's tits david dobrik the famous tick tocker is here tonight just kidding i love watching david's tick tocks i know 80 of the funny creator goes to natalie david's pantry what's it like to have an assistant who is constantly covered in crumbs david you haven't posted a vlog in months good job giving alex warren your career david basically wasted his career he traded 6 million views on youtube for 16,000 in discovery Hi, I'm like 70 years old and I don't even watch cable when I scroll down while watching David, you know, I remember the person who blew up all our channels, Liza Koshy, thank you very much.