The science of analyzing conversations, second by second | Elizabeth Stokoe | TEDxBermuda

happens on line seven. So on line seven, if the caller is excited, we might get something like, "Great, that sounds like just what I need," or "Thank you so much," or "Book me," or "Tell me." more." This is what happens in line seven. (Laughs) Kind of like a tumbleweed dust bunny silence in line seven. If zero point seven

second

s of silence was enough to know that things between Dana and Gordon were probably doomed to failure, then 2.5

second

s of silence tells us that it is highly unlikely that this is a positive response from the caller. This is what the caller responds to.

C: Well, stop. To be honest, I don't think she would cooperate. ES: Here we can see that the mediator does not know his clue. First of all, he does not know this explanation of mediation to someone who wants someone to be on his side, as an advocate to limit. the behavior of the vile neighbor next door, is not going to work. However, many mediators explain the service this way not only in their initial calls, but also on their websites, brochures, etc. Presumably, the mediator thinks that. They are doing a good job, because presumably they wouldn't try to sell their service in a negative way, but they don't. know your race track;

Plus, they don't know that the other person most likely won't. There is a magic solution that takes care of this: it's a one-word magic solution that I'm not going to tell you right now, but you can ask me about it later if you want. A word will solve this problem, but this mediator does not know that the end of the race is near and the caller will not become a customer. These are the kinds of things that can really interest us as conversation analysts. We can approach particular projects on racetracks, whether they are mediators and clients, or doctors and patients, look at a particular question design or a way a request is made, try to figure out what is effective and what is less effective. .

What I've been doing for the last two or three years is developing an approach to communication training. You can see how this work can underpin the foundation of a truly research-based approach to training professionals. I call it the conversation analytic role-playing method, or CARM, because the method works based on presenting materials the way you've already been seeing them. What you can do is do your research, find out how the interaction works at the particular racetrack you're interested in. Then finding excerpts of where we see one result or another, presenting them to the professionals in real time, line by line, to the people who do the work.

They do it by stopping it, making them think about what they could do next, seeing what the practitioner actually did next and evaluating it. This is how the method works. Let's get back to the race track. Conversation analysts can identify, in slow motion, scientifically and systematically how the conversation works. We can often alter what we think we know about, for example, how to establish a good relationship or how body language works. One of the projects we can focus on is when people want to know each other's relationship stories. I have this great example of a woman who is trying to figure out what relationship history the person sitting across from her has had.

She starts asking, "Have you never been...? Have you never been...?" She stops and then says, "Have you been married?" She begins by asking a negative question: "Have you never been married?" That's definitely a "first-mover" type question. What do you mean? Should it have been? You feel defensive. But she stops and repairs, we often do this in interaction. We will start something, stop it and do something else. She stops being the first to act and eliminates the "always" and the negative grammar: "Have you never been married?" to "Have you been married?" That's a much more positive question, so something you can do if you're the first to act: try to stop yourself by asking positive questions instead of negative ones.

If you regularly face first movers. "What do you really do?" What can you do with that? I think you're following Gordon's lead. He'll be nice in response, back off, and hopefully teach the first one to act something about what he's doing. And if you do both (stop being the first to move and back against the first to move), then hopefully your future race tracks will be smooth. Thank you. (Applause)