The Rise of Skywalker - Why it Sucks

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you that I love audible as much as I do. That's because audible remains the leading source of audio entertainment and is the best place to find audiobooks, podcasts, and originals. Audio content now, specifically, I've been using Audible a lot lately since I just finished moving to a new state, I basically had Audible on for a month straight while taking long trips and unpacking if I was doing anything, no matter what it was. I usually have audible on while I do this and as always I like to recommend an audiobook and yeah, who am I kidding?

I'm still burning the wheels of time series and in the last month I continued. a tear and deleted the 4th and 5th entry in this series, yeah I went a little crazy and honestly I don't think I could have done it without audible. This series is really good, but it's very long, what if I hadn't. I have the ability to just put on my headphones and listen to it all day. I would probably never finish it, but I actually feel like I can finish this incredibly long series since with audible I can adjust the speed and save hours on end. my audiobooks are very good, so if you want to try audible for yourself, you can sign up for a 30-day free trial and get a free audiobook credit.

All you have to do is visit audible.com cosmonaut or text cosmonaut to 500-500 and Again, in case you weren't listening, I'm audible.com cosmonaut or you can text cosmonaut at 500-500 and of course I would like to thank audible for sponsoring this video guys I'll be honest with you. I don't really know how to start this video, I was thinking of doing a little parody like how every youtuber does a little bit about how what they're reviewing is malicious and goes after them and his wife and steals their social security. number, but I don't like doing that, that's not really my style and I thought I'd start this video as usual.

I wrote an entire script for this video and scrapped it and some of you may have noticed that I've already talked about it. this movie, but that was surface level, I didn't really delve too deeply into it, I didn't even have clips from the movie at the time because it just came out and the thing is since this movie came out I've realized. something that ruined Star Wars a little for me, not completely, but enough that I sometimes skip the Star Wars stuff. I didn't see visions even though people said it was really good. I didn't finish a bad batch.

I think there's a certain level of fatigue setting in and you know I used to look back on the sequel trilogy and think it had a bad ending but you know it could be worse but nowadays when I think about Star Wars I'm kind. I like it and I hate taking it so seriously because it's just a silly movie about laser wizards, but it's really fascinating to me how a great character can ruin the reputation of a franchise that survived something truly atrocious, so here we are today. I'm going to talk about Star Wars, the

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of Skywalker, and how Star Wars broke my heart, but that's not all we're going to talk about today.

Look, like I said, I already wrote a script for this video, but I wasn't very happy with it. because all I did was talk about the movie as it is and for the most part I already did that, so today I'm not just going to talk about the movie, I'm also going to try to fix the movie, that's right. I'm going to try to do some rewrites now. I usually don't like doing exercises like this because I don't like to pretend I know better. I don't write movies and we've seen the effect of following people's writing advice. on the internet, that's basically the problem with this movie, but some of the problems in this movie are so strange that I think some fixes would have really helped.

Oh, and did I say only for this movie? Well, I'm sorry because I lied, some of these are fixes for the entire trilogy. I think everyone can agree that the biggest flaw of the Star Wars sequel trilogy is that it was unplanned and many of the core problems of the sequel trilogy would probably be fixed. If only they had planned everything from the beginning, so yeah, as much as I respect The Last Jedi for trying something different, some things in that movie really don't make it easy to write a sequel and furthermore The Rise. Skywalker's game was retconned so much that almost every concept and idea introduced in The Last Jedi is simply thrown out, and despite what you may feel about The Last Jedi, you have to admit that it's pretty dastardly and overall led to this movie.

It was a mess, so let's break it up. everyone down and find out why somehow palpatine came back who starts a conversation like that I just sat down right away the only way I can compare the rise of

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to the prequel trilogy is that you can tell they're going to be bad From the At first, in the first crawl, now in this movie, our characters have spent a good amount of time growing without us looking at them, but somehow they did it in the worst way possible. A gigantic amount of development happens off-screen and we're left. with a miserable title crawl to fill in the blanks and leaves this as the Star Wars movie with the number one worst title crawl in the entire franchise, the movie begins by telling us that the dead speak, the first thing we learn is that Palpatine has come back to life yes, a character who hasn't been talked about in the last two films apart from an extremely brief mention in the last jedi, a character who has had nothing to do with the story up to this point, a character that has not mattered and never existed. intended to be included in this trilogy, he has not only returned as the main villain, but also returns off-screen.

I really think this line here is up there as one of the worst lines in Star Wars history, somehow Palpatine came back, I'm serious, man. it takes a lot to join the ranks of the iconic arena monologue only a sith deals in absolute terms and basically everything that is said in attack of the clones believe me i wish i could erase my feelings and i think it's pretty awesome it's A line. that alone ruins the entire movie damn it's bad from the first word of the sentence somehow computer please define it somehow in a way or by some means that is not known or stated basically means I don't know and that's real we don't know how he came back, he just came back and this is a big deal because the last time we saw the guy he blew up, characters come back from the dead in Star Wars, a lot of times they can cut off your limbs and burn them You live and as long as you're angry enough you're fine, they can cut your whole ass, cock and balls off and you're fine as long as you're angry enough but this guy was reduced to atoms so there's a little explanation.

Order Disney clearly decided to just throw out whatever original idea they had and say it, just bring back the bad guy from the other movies because, oopsie, we're out of bad guys, now I've said before that I like Snoke being killed off. the previous movie because back then I thought Kylo Ren was going to be the bad guy in this one, I thought things were naturally building up to him being the final villain of this trilogy, but no, Kylo Ren isn't that bad anymore, so now we need a big evil sorcerer that the good guys have to fight and it's the last movie so we can't find someone new.

This idea was from the beginning. He's the movie's biggest problem solely because he. being back is what influences all the other crazy, horrible ideas this movie throws at us. Everything in this movie comes back to Palpatine coming back to life and let me remind you that this is still the beginning of the movie so let's get started. In correcting the movie's biggest mistake, let's go to the right corner. The first thing I would change is that Palpatine won't be in this and this will fix a lot of things from the beginning. Kylo Ren gets to be the main villain, which can be a bit complicated, but more on that later.

Also, Rey is no longer a Palpatine which eliminates all this nonsense about his new backstory that they tried to cram into this movie, they sold you out to protect you, yeah not in my version they didn't make it, I'll delve into these changes later, but this is the first one I'll commit to, it's big and basically changes the entire movie like we can't have the same narrative at all anymore. So after the title crawl we get a scene where Kylo Ren finds Palpatine because like I said, this movie needs to rush establishing the new villain because he seriously wasn't even hinted at in the previous two movies.

Also, I love how Palpatine says this. boy did I smoke and when I first saw this I thought it was a figure of speech like he made him the man he was but no he literally did it in a cave with a box of leftovers and when I say this movie is is accelerating. I'm really serious, in the span of a minute or two, Palpatine tells us he made Snoke, promises Kyloren unlimited power, tells him to go kill Rey, and then summons a fleet of Star Destroyers, not even I know how. he can do this, I don't think he would be that powerful, but the most important part of what I just said is that he tells Kylo Ren to kill Rey and this is important because Palpatine's plan is one of the worst he has ever done. had and we.

We've already talked about his bad plans before, but anyway, after that we move on to our heroes, that's right, we have our favorite characters Chewie Po Finn and even Claude, that's right guys, Claude is here, the scene starts with this exciting chase sequence and I admit it. When I first saw this movie at this point, I was thinking that while the premise is questionable, things don't seem that bad right now, the movie looks pretty good, it's silly that Palpatine is here, but I like how it plays out. presents Palpatine in such a disturbing way. way and this chase scene where Poe jumps into hyperspace is quite interesting, but one thing seems strange to me: this character says this, oh yes, this is a war, it doesn't really seem like it, although we haven't seen any situation like that yet .

Make this feel like an intergalactic war. There have been some small-scale encounters that occur from time to time, so while I like this initial chase, I don't think it's good enough. Keep in mind this is the epic finale of a nine movie saga in my version we are going to make the war a real war the biggest problem with the first order conflict versus the resistance is that it doesn't feel like a star war this it felt like a war hell this felt like a war this is just random stuff that happens from time to time there is only one battle in this movie and it's at the end star wars usually has a few of these lying around why not start with something a little grander that shows our heroes facing off? a new role as war heroes, yes I understand that their forces are a bit spread out, but you can still make an exciting guerrilla war or something, be creative, we also have to make the first order, a real threat, remember that the opening of the awakened force, I think so.

We should do something like that again, show them being brutal, have them do bad things, and then have our main characters barely manage to fend them off in an initial encounter. There are many small changes that can make this conflict feel more important, but it is another. The problem here is that in this movie all these things happen very quickly, that chase scene only lasts a few minutes and now we have Rey training and oh yeah, I actually forgot about this, okay, but seriously, this It's so creepy to me. I get that Leia is important to the story and that Carrie Fisher's death complicated things, but this feels a little off.

Now call me old school, but I think when someone dies you shouldn't try to resurrect them with leftover footage from other movies and it looks super weird. overall it's very distracting, they just have footage of her saying like generic NPC dialogue, I need to finish what Luke started, find the exile, find the emperor, now Daisy Ridley is trying to give a genuine performance to a glorified hologram. There are so many things I want to tell you. So yeah, here's our next rewrite. General Leia dies in The Last Jedi. Now I can't be the only person who saw this scene in the last Jedi and she just assumed that this is where they decided to kill her because, yeah, it makes sense. take her out of the story when the actress dies, I was just watching the sopranos and Tony's mom is a very important character in that story and unfortunately the actress dies so they immediately take her out of the story, oh wait a minute I forgot .

This is also that if you really think about it, Leia being alive doesn't really change the narrative of the last jedi because for most of that movie she is in a coma anyway, if you need to give Poe the motivation he needs yes I really needLet him step forward and be the hero the resistance needs. You can do this while eliminating Leia from the hell of the story. He probably took more effort from her to get her into the Rise of Skywalker than it did to get her out of the Last Jedi. I'm the last person to say that you should reshoot parts of a movie, but I think this is a very special exception.

They kept her in this on purpose knowing they couldn't film new scenes for the sequel, they're not just cutting her out of the story. It's more respectful to the character, it also allows Poe to have his own story because remember in the last Jedi it ends with Leia basically saying that Poe is in charge now, yeah well that gets completely undone in the rise of Skywalker. Leia is still in charge, everyone looks at her. for answers and she doesn't have any answers she only has a few words she can say she feels like she's a sounding board with limited options i'll win yourbrother sable one day starting windows narrator my roflcopter goes swash wash wash wash wash wash wash wash yeah teacher so in my version of this movie poe is the leader of the resistance because leia is no longer here and this gives him a lot more to do because in this movie he doesn't do anything he just argues with the other characters and drives the car, no one talks to you, just drive the bus driver.

In retrospect, it's a little strange when you realize that he was supposed to die in The Force Awakens because he's definitely written as someone who was never intended to appear in more than one movie. Poe Dameron has always felt like an afterthought since the first movie he appears in, but anyway, getting back to the actual movie, we now establish that he's Artrian. They don't get along and I've said it before but I kinda like this but again the problem is this is the first time we see our main trio interact because we spent an entire movie where two of them didn't and the other one had to come out and be a real character overall, it leaves me a little upset that we didn't get to develop this dynamic throughout the trilogy, this is our main trio, this is how it was initially pushed and this is the first movie where They interact, that's not good, like Rey honestly should have met Poe in the first movie, it's really strange that she didn't, she just liked to leave immediately without even talking to him, so you know, there's a change here quick for the awakening of the force.

I'm going to put Poe in the narrative, he and Finn collide on the same planet. He can easily be in the movie without ruining the dynamic between Rey and Finn, and if you really need to, you can still separate the characters before Finn and Rey meet Han that way. you can have Poe show up later to help them and whatever because while the force awakens it's a little strange that Poe is gone for a while and we don't know what happened to him or what he was doing and then he just shows up out of nowhere with no explanation read company in the comic to find out what happened to pope seriously if you're going to try to establish this as your main trio you need to stop treating po like an afterthought no wonder oscar isaac hates star wars now they treated him like a homeless man, I should have let him get killed in the first one, I really didn't know what I was getting into, oh and as far as decisions before our characters go on their adventure, they ask Rose.

If she wants to come and says no, yeah, she wasn't kidding when I said Disney decided to get rid of almost everything from the previous movie. Rose has fewer spoken words of dialogue than Charlie from Lost a Boy She's Never Even Been Around. in none of the movies so far I don't even think he has a name in this movie. Hell, I think Zombie Leia has more screen time than Rose, they gave more screen time to a character that is made up of stock footage, now honestly, I've said before that I don't really like Rose's character in The Last Jedi. .

I think she has a very awkward and unnecessary role in the story, but I don't think that means you can't do something interesting with her in this movie. It's so rude how they draw so much attention to the fact that she won't be in this one. If this movie didn't go out of its way to say, Hey guys, look, Rose's not going to do anything, then I would. Don't get so upset because that's a little disrespectful. This lady was already bullied so hard for being in the last movie and then Disney decided to keep treating her like that, so it's time to rewrite her.

This one is a little tough because she's not my favorite character, but I think she deserves better, so hear me out. Rose grounded after losing her sister during the war and being rejected by Finn Rose has had enough. She is no longer the meek mechanic. She now works undercover for special operations missions. She smokes deadly sticks and drinks. there are no prisoners, the first order will learn that every rose has its thorn, yeah, I don't know, man, I don't know how to fix her, just make her cool, give her a cool fight scene and a cool outfit, and that's it.

People will fancam her if you do that and I still can't get over the fact that they decided to cut so many things out of the last Jedi when that movie had some really good ideas, I think that's the only thing they kept. they were like the four time-space calls that rey and kylo can do and it's really a shame because there's a lot of things from that movie that I really wish they kept a lot of things. It's also very strange how much this movie just wants to reboot. stuff back to the status quo of the force awakens kylo ren broke his helmet in the last movie no, he fixes it rey broke his lightsaber in the last movie no, she fixes it hell even his outfit is basically the same as she was in the force awakens like why say what you want about the last jedi but she looked great in that movie she was a little soaked she had two suits so here's a change that seems superfluous but makes sense considering How Star Wars works.

Everyone gets a new suit. Star Wars. You like to sell toys, don't you weld? And why wouldn't you give him a new suit? I mean, for Ray, there's really no excuse. Every main Star Wars character has a new look. Don't want little kids buying Halloween costumes? They are not going to want to dress up as the same thing they have already been. I think this is actually the most boring main character costume in Star Wars. Hell, I wouldn't even use it in Fortnite. I would literally rather be a normal stormtrooper no rubble seen here let's see someone try on us that barricade almost also another design option is to give rey a saber now I know apparently the guy from jurassic world wrote a script for this movie which was very different, but I didn't read it, I heard there were other questionable writing decisions in it, but I know he apparently gave Rey a saber, so he had at least a good idea.

This one is really weird to me because I thought it was a No-brainer, I legitimately believe that Ryan Johnson specifically destroyed Skywalker's saber so Rey could make her own and yet for some reason they just ask him to fix it the same way. In this way, it is one of the most important scenes of the previous film, it is a symbol of the whole central theme of the film and we simply undo it. Her making a new lightsaber is metaphorical and it's also cooler and just makes more sense. She uses a cane. It's really strange to me that they didn't do this anyway.

Look at the guy. whoever fixes kylo ren's helmet looks really cool cute oh and also this movie finally establishes who ren's knights are except we've only heard his name before and honestly it was one of those things where he was kind of cooler when he wasn't we knew who they were. I've said before that these guys are basically the same as General Grievous because they're only in this movie to sell toys and give a character a cool fight scene, but the difference is that at least general grievous had a place in the story and some basic character traits and he liked things I don't even know who these guys are, they're friends, they're roommates, the only information we get about them is these knights of Ren, what does that mean?

When I first saw this movie, I thought she said cool, which was really funny to me, but now that I know she says hell, I'm confused. What does that mean? Ghost demon, son of a bitch, what are you talking about? about funny little green demons, so yeah, the Knights of Ren are pretty stupid, so in my rewrite of this movie we'll keep the knights driving the story. Listen, we need bad guys, what can I say after the last Jedi? We are friendly. We have a deficit of villains, but at least we're going to give them speaking roles.

Kylo Ren is our big bad and he needs people to talk to, so this is his new advice, not these random people we've literally never met before except him. We know him, but he's not a great character in our version of the movie either. These guys are his new right-hand man and are pretty good at creating tension and adding risk. You can make every important conflict accentuate with an encounter. with them to increase how much of a threat they can be in this movie, we never actually see them do anything, they just show up to pose and look cool, so we have no reason to care about them.

What I like to do is go to the Wikipedia page on the Knights of Ren and just read fun facts about each of them. Vic's ruler adopted several titles, including Reaper of the Fallen Ushar, he was known for torturing his prisoners to beg for mercy, of which he was known. He didn't own any trudgeon He was a collector of fallen conquest trophies I don't even know where this information came from because it's not in the movie Read the accompanying comic to learn everything about Ushar You know what I'm going to go ahead and make another change.

I'm going to put these guys in The Force Awakens now that I see how much history they have. There is no excuse for this not to be in the trilogy. If there's one thing Star Wars fans like, it's cool guys with cool helmets. I'm asking for the minimum, just make them do something. I'm not sure what you could do with them at the end of Rise of Skywalker because if you take them out enough you have a lot of options, there are a lot of guys in this group and if you want you can have them fight Poe or Finn or you know, Chewbacca or Hell, if you really want, you can have Rey fight all of them at the same time in the climax of the movie before she faces off.

Kylo ren just turn it into a glove if people want to call her Mary Sue then fine just bow down give her this herculean task to overcome all these guys at once and the thing is you can make her fight in this conflict should. He's going to have a hard time trying to take on all of these guys at once, so when he goes to fight Kylo Ren in the final battle, he might not be at 100 percent and this solves another problem: the fact that Rey already beat As the main villain in this narrative, she has rarely had any problems with him, so there is nothing at stake for a final battle unless we do something to weaken her and remember in my version of the story that she is not a daughter. of an evil megasorcerer. she's just a normal guy, she's very strong and she already defeated a small squad of evil assassins in the last movie, so having her fight all of these guys at once and then fight Kylo Ren isn't unreasonable and besides, gives our main character a cool fight scene makes people go crazy in the theater they throw their popcorn at the walls I'm not going to pretend this movie shouldn't be fun action blockbuster it's star wars honestly needs more again This is the end of a nine-film saga that has spanned more than 40 years, we need to have some spectacle.

I remember watching the Last Jedi opening day and the audience lost their minds at this scene and there really was nothing like it in The Rise of Skywalker. Which is a little sad, if I'm going to give the prequel trilogy any credit it's that Revenge of the Sith feels like a finale, it has some spectacle, some would say that's all it has, but still inject a little of that. energy in the final movie of the entire saga, give rey his biggest challenge, but kick his butt a little, just wait until you see how rey deals with apleck anyway, our heroes go on a scavenger hunt to find some mcguffins and when I saw this movie for the first time I liked scenes like this I like to have some light to build a world I like that our characters interact with this new and nice environment I also like this joke because it is lucky, in fact, this festival It's known for both its colorful kites and its deviatable candy, but again, I think the world should be a little more affected by war.

You could probably never tell that this is a planet that is being occupied by the first order, but it doesn't really seem like they are suffering that much. Let's do another rewrite and make the world feel war-affected again. NoI can stress enough that this should be a really big star war. I also think we should lean into the fact that rey is the last jedi. I know that sticking to a lot of the story beats and plot elements of The Last Jedi will make it seem like I like The Last Jedi more, but whether you like The Last Jedi or not, you should be able to do it. agree with me on the fact that they shouldn't have gone back on all the decisions the movie made because that just leads to confusing storytelling.

This movie spends most of its time trying to undo the last movie and falls short of being its own movie, yes I know a lot of people don't like the last jedi but I still think it's a smarter choice to take what worked and work from it. The Last Jedi ends in a way that implies that the Jedi are inspiring oppressed people. throughout the galaxy, I don't know why we ruled that out, suddenly Rey really needs to feel like the last Jedi and hell, maybe she doesn't even want to be the last, something can give someone a lot of pressure and anxiety.

There's a lot you can do with this from a narrative perspective again, it's one of those things that's obvious and it's strange that it doesn't come up at all, but we don't have time to think about this thing Kylo Ren does. a forced discord call with his girlfriend and then he steals her jewelry and analyzes it instantly so the first order can track her and then they immediately show up on the planet to arrest our heroes and no, it's okay, don't worry because Lando is too I'm here to save you and I'm not kidding. All this happens in less than a minute.

It's amazing how much they cram into this small period of time. When I first saw this movie, this was the first point I realized. Jesus Christ, this movie needs to slow down. This movie is only half an hour in at this point and the best word I can use to describe it is overwhelming. Palpatine is back but don't worry now we have to find him and kill him okay we have to go to this planet because we have to find a map okay now we are in another chase scene and after the chase scene They stumble upon the ship that has the location of Palpatine's secret planet, but oh. no, before they get to the ship, they fall into quicksand and in the quicksand they find a secret dagger that has the coordinates of where they need to go next and Threepio says okay, we can go, we're done here.

The dagger is pretty good, but oh no, the giant snake is attacking. this movie goes by so fast I can't even focus on the bad dialogue. bones I don't like bones I mean yeah that's not too out of the ordinary so let's go back to the right corner let's fix the bad dialogue now yeah it's pretty easy to just say oh just improve the dialogue without go into details, but to explain my problem, I think the problem with this movie is that all the characters talk. same thing right now you could exchange entire lines between king finn and poe and most of the time nothing would change they just joke with each other the same way and especially in the case of finn and poe at this point they don't already feel it different enough, they're pretty much the same guy at this point.

It feels like the adventures of Rey the Jedi and his two sarcastic Muggle friends, Poe and Finn, have a very natural relationship in The Force Awakens. I really like those first scenes with We Put Them Together and like I said before, it would be nice if that relationship worked with Rey too, but we already talked about that hell, that relationship was so good that it made people want them to be gay with each other, but then Disney said no. homo and they were separated for a whole movie and now they are together again and they feel like the same person, so I think we should make them talk differently and it's actually not that difficult to do.

Poe is quite arrogant and is somewhat of a know-it-all. everything and then finn is more grounded and pragmatic. Could you know? Use these traits more when you have them interact. The joss whedonesque dialogue works well for the avengers, it doesn't work for the star wars characters, but anyway, even though this movie so far has been pretty fast-paced and has some pretty questionable narrative choices at this point, it still feels like a Star Wars story and it moves at such a fast pace that you don't really have time to think about any of the plot holes, but after they get out of this cave, the movie decides that it's really time to get things done, a From this point on it gets really fun, okay, so they found the dumb dagger and c-3po says he can find where the dagger's coordinates lead, but they need to leave the planet and I can't go back to the falcon because the cops are probably there. there, so they decide to blow up this shitty ship, but then Rey decides to walk away from the group and wander the desert alone because the force gave her a feeling, so Finn is like, What is this doing?

Chewie, go tell him to get his ass back in the ship, so Chewie is all ragged and then he runs off into the desert and after a second or two, Finn says, wait a second, he's trying to fight Kylo. Ren. I'm going to go check it out too. He exits the ship and sees that Chewbacca has been immediately arrested and then Kylo Ren tries to run over Rey with his car. I don't know what she's trying to do here because He had just told her that he didn't want to kill her, but anyway she dies in a car accident and then Finn is like Rey, our guy got arrested and she's like, "Oh, it's no big deal, it's just I'll rip this guy's boat off." Then Kylo Ren crawls out of the rubble and says, "Stop, don't do that, because she gets really angry and then kills Chewbacca." I'm not kidding when I say this made me laugh out loud in the theater.

I was shaking in my seat laughing between the crazy character decisions and the breakneck speed at which this scene unfolds in this sequence of events that really showed me that this was actually a bad Star Wars movie, so after From this, Rey explains that she lost control because she had a vision of herself sitting on the throne of the Sith and this is something that bothers me because it is something that could have been interesting to see and would have made this scene maybe a little less silly, but of course this movie works. outside of the tell, don't show philosophy and that's not going to change here, so anyway, just a few minutes after Chewbacca's death, it's revealed that he didn't die and you know I love a good fake death, nor They couldn't even.

Let's think he was dead for more than five minutes, but hey, don't think about how our characters have to go to another planet now because Chewbacca had the dagger they think they need, but then C-3po says, oh, okay. I can just open my brain and we can do it that way, we don't need the dagger, it's not important so yeah, no time to slow down, they don't even mourn Chewbacca that much and honestly I think they revealed that Chewbacca was still alive to us, so the writers didn't have to slow down the movie even for a second to make the characters cry for him.

Also, there's this weird little subplot that's been going on where Finn and Rey are like a low-key Poe and embarrassed about being a criminal like he keeps doing these illicit things and then they're like, hey man, how do you know how connect a boat? And I'm thinking why do you care so much that they stole before you? Illegal things all the time I wonder if Finn everything you did on this planet was legal. You didn't hit this guy for doing illegal things. Why do you care? Suddenly and you all murder people. It's actually a little strange how they revel. in your kills in this movie, why are you cheering?

He probably had a family. Star Wars really likes doing the stormtrooper-turned-good-guy story these days, so he's more noticeable here. I guess I find it really strange that in all of these movies, Finn never brings up the fact that he's now killing his former coworkers. I really wish we had more of a story arc where this concept could be explored, so anyway c-3po dies and I said in my old review that I consider this a death because narratively it's the same thing since his memory is erased, he he treats it as a sad moment, but it's okay because he gets his memory back later, so whatever it is, it's just another fake moment, a few more of these and he might have to do it.

I'm starting to get mad but I will say that despite everything I think 3po is pretty good in this movie, he's one of the best characters, in fact if I rewrote things I think I'd keep most of his stuff intact, he's pretty funny in this film. just because he doesn't make the same kind of jokes as the other characters, he talks differently. I like the bar to be set very low, but I'll take what I can get, so anyway Kylo Ren's fleet finds them and they're there. Like, hey, Chewbacca is up there, the force gave us a feeling, yeah, the force is going to start solving a lot of problems very quickly, so Rey is like, wait a minute, I feel the dagger too, and the other guys are like, what?

Who cares about the dagger? We've said several times that the dagger doesn't matter anymore, but she's like, don't worry, the force tells me the dagger is important, yeah, I wasn't kidding, this is the new excuse for anything that happens in this movie, the force just Basically, I told you that every time Rey feels the force and runs away, you know something crazy is going to happen. I also love how they park his ship in the docking bay of the star destroyer, kill a bunch of stormtroopers, and run through the ship and no one. I found out that this new general is like whose ship it is.

This is what I really do. I like this new overall character, although I think he seems cool, maybe in a trilogy where the story is planned out, he could have been a character in all of them. these movies, instead of hux hux's role as the butt monkey, they wore out a bit in the second movie and hux has the potential to be an interesting character, people make fun of the i'm the spy joke, but i actually like gave hope for a Secondly, maybe Hux was going to do something in this story, but no, for three movies, he's just a joke character and just when you think he might start doing something in the story, they kill him off.

Ah, okay, wow, anyway, Rey is doing main character stuff. Kylo Ren calls her again and decides it's time to ruin the entire trilogy. He reveals that Rey's parents weren't random drunk nobodys like we were told in the last movie, no, they sold her to protect her, which is just another one. one of the silliest lines in Star Wars, but hey, this is actually a pretty neat little fight scene, don't worry about that ridiculous retcon ruining one of the best things about the last movie, watch the cool fight, oh, and now they are. about to confront us for real but kylo ren isn't done getting rid of the information this movie is completely dedicated to ruining things you have his power you are his granddaughter this is the only decision that really ruins this trilogy for me whether you agree agree or disagree with that Whether Rey was a nobody was a good choice or not, it just doesn't matter, what matters is that it was a narrative choice that the trilogy made and returning to it at the last minute is just sloppy writing and nothing about this retcon even does anything. meaning because since in the flashback rey's mom says that rey is not in jakku, you will never find her there, but from rey's memories we see that this scene took place right after ochi left jakku with rey's parents, like this scene here that we've seen a lot of times is Ochi's ship flying while the kid Ray yells at them to come back and then meanwhile, inside that ship, Rey's parents say, yeah, our daughter Ray is not on Jakku, but don't look out the window and that's why the Emperor never finds Rey, the omniscient and all-powerful sorcerer who has a psychic link with Kylo Ren for no other reason than simply talking to him, can never use her powers to locate her granddaughter. , King, all this is so absurd.

If you question a single aspect of this even once or try to go back and compare it to what we've already been shown, it completely falls apart and that's why I find this movie so insulting, that's why I had to go back. and do another review of a movie I've talked about before because when I sit and think about this trilogy I get angrier Yes, I really like The Force Awakens. I think that movie is perfectly fine and I like a lot of parts of the last jedi but I really can't watch those movies anymore without thinking about the fact that somehow palpatine comes back I can't get over the fact that they sold her to protect her and in the end of the day the reception of this film scared them.

They prevented them from making more Star Wars films. It's very disappointing and I could honestly end the whole video right there. I've mostly stated what bothers me about this movie, but would you believe me if I said this movie isn't even halfway done? Still, anyway, thegroup finally arrives at the planet that the coordinates took them to and they happen to be standing in the only place where they can hold the stupid dagger and point to the little hole where the mcguffin is located. is located and yes, this is a bit of an exaggeration, this movie is officially too convenient, since most of the things that happen to our heroes that lead them to advance the plot are very specific, they accidentally get trapped in a cave of underground sand, but I'm not worried about it housing this super specific thing they'll need later.

Oh, and this dagger is used to kill Rey's parents and confirms the truth to her, but it's also a national treasure artifact that tells her where to go. It's a useless plot device. The purpose of the story besides getting our characters to another plot device is so dumb that anyway on this planet Finn meets another first order deserter like him and I really thought for the first time we were going to have a subplot appropriate. So that Finn has something to do, but yeah, there's not much movie left, so I'm sorry that's not going to happen and let me tell you, this was the point where I got really angry about how Finn was treated in this movie.

I really like Finn in The Force Awakens. He is the co-star of that film. He has a completely satisfying character arc in that movie and after that he doesn't get Jack for the rest of the trilogy, which I've already talked about at length. How much I hate his arc in the last jedi but this is just absurd, at least he had something to do in that movie, in this one he doesn't do anything, all he does is imply that he is force sensitive and when I say I imply I'm serious because I guess JJ loves his mystery box so much that he couldn't even confirm this and the way it's written it seems like they just forgot to wrap up that plot, it seems like a mistake so let's go back. to the rewrite corner let's rewrite finn in our story improvements we have another no-brainer all this with finn meeting the ex-stormtroopers yes that will happen sooner this is his new plot it's so simple I'm surprised he didn't do it I did already because the resistance needs new soldiers in the last movie, they really don't have anyone left, so here you go, give Finn a small mini army so they can look up to him as an example of the best outcome for them. deserter turned war general turned hero and I'm not even in love with the fact that they made him force sensitive.

I could do without him mainly because I'm sick of Watching Jedi after watching this movie, but hey, if you're going to include it, you need to go all out and if you're going to do it, you need to hint that he's force-sensitive much sooner than you think. It should have been the third film in the trilogy. hinted at in the last jedi as it is in this movie, he feels like he came out of nowhere because they didn't know what to do with finn anymore, so again, if we have no choice but to make him force sensitive, we don't do it. you do.

Not beating around the bush makes him force sensitive, hell I'd say he tries his best, give him a lightsaber in the final battle, I don't even care anymore, just give him something because he should be a more important character, he deserves it a final battle, so you. I know there's one other thing I really want to change, let's get Captain Phasma not to die in the last Jedi because I think Finn needs a driving antagonistic force in this trilogy, because if you didn't realize once she left the story they just run out of things for him to do if she's around all the time, it gives him a constant physical manifestation of what he needs to overcome, like remember when finn has this fight scene in the first movie and he loses and has to be saved for someone else, why not turn around and in the final act of this movie give him that fight scene again, but with someone he has history with and have him win that fight?

It's much more narratively satisfying that he finally defeats Phasma in At the End of the Trilogy, rather than fighting her in the second movie and having her fall into a hole, which is one of the dumbest ways to kill off a character, really. You don't feel the impact of her death as much because she doesn't really do much in this trilogy and she dies in the second movie. Hell, I bet most of you probably forgot she existed until I mentioned her, but anyway, Finn doesn't matter in this movie, it's Rey and Kylo Ren's movie, so Rey runs away. for the third time without telling his team what he's going to do at this point, it's stupid, oh, and they finally show us a vision of what it would be like if Rey turned to the dark side and yeah, I take that back, maybe That's how it went. better to just not show us that so rey finds the second macguffin of the movie but oh no kylo ren finds it and breaks it and now they have to fight again and this is a personal thing but I found the fights in this movie to be a un bit disappointing, they're just blindly punching each other and rey feels exhausted even though she hasn't done anything yet, i think fights suck, they suck, so anyway, kyle loren completely forgets he said that I wasn't going to do it.

She kills Rey and he tries to kill Rey anyway but then Leia kills herself so she can communicate with him and yeah if you're going to write someone out of the movie I guess you could do it that way and also Kylo Ren is fake . Out Death is a very fun movie, but don't do it again anyway. Ray just leaves and then Kylo Ren gets a pep talk from his dead father and decides to be a good guy and it's not very convincing because we've been shown that. Many times pep talks don't work with Kylo Ren.

There are many scenes where someone tries to tell him that he is wrong and he usually doesn't take it very well. I failed you, Ben, I'm sorry, but hey. Now he's over it, he's not a bad guy anymore, he's not going to be evil anymore, I'm a good guy now and, uh, yeah, I'm going to go ahead and rewrite Kylo Ren and honestly, this is going to be the hardest part of rewriting. because we have to do it. change a lot of things, especially since a lot of people seem to think that his redemption is handled pretty well in this movie but I honestly disagree and a lot of people think that this series hints at the fact that Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed but well, really I don't think he needs to be redeemed.

I think at this point in the story his bad deeds have far outweighed any good he may have and at the end of the last jedi, Kylo Ren doesn't just want to. to take over the galaxy, he wants to change the status quo, he thinks things have been pretty bad for the last few generations and honestly he's not wrong, this is a universe where a new galactic war breaks out every 10 years or so, maybe in the third movie we should make kylo ren in the right place. Star Wars usually relies on the villain with the exaggerated mustache, but people almost universally fell in love with this character because he was something different, not me.

I think he needs the traditional redemption arc, he just needs to be proven wrong. His redemption in The Rise of Skywalker isn't even very good, it fails because he doesn't earn it. You couldn't even count how many innocent people this man has murdered, but. still his mom and dad tell him to calm down so he's a good boy now sorry no that's not good enough in my version of the story Kylo Ren will still be the bad guy but the difference here is that He is more mature, he is not. If he's going to lash out or throw a tantrum, I feel like those aspects are things he can easily get over now that he's the new supreme leader, and plus, if he's a lot calmer, it's a lot easier for us to agree. with his perspective.

It's hard to agree with someone who acts like this all the time, and hell, when Rey comes to him in the final confrontation, maybe she sees things from his perspective. I think there's a lot you can do with this because, again, the only thing. What people seem to agree on with this trilogy is that Kylo Ren is a very interesting character, so why not finally give him the movie? If we don't have Palpatine as the main villain, he may finally be the villain he is ready for. him calling the shots makes him a real threat and makes Rey finally fight to defeat him because, again, that's something she hasn't really had a problem with before and, most importantly, having Rey show him that her way thinking is incorrect and, honestly, it could change. this character in a lot of ways because I legitimately believe that you could do anything with this guy and people would still be on board.

He has one of the laziest redemption arcs I've ever seen and people still think he's okay for some reason so I think that's proof enough so anyway we're moving towards the final act of the movie, now we have some more vague and funky references to the last movie and then we have to have our heroes fly out and kill the emperor and at this point I've really gone over everything I would change in this movie and all we're left with is a final confrontation that feels manipulative, it doesn't really feel earned, suddenly we're hurtling into a nostalgic epic battle where all of these classic characters show up, but as if this movie wasn't coming to a conclusion like this, I've already proven that this movie isn't trying to be a grand epic finale to the Star Wars saga, but suddenly it's now.

Acting like this doesn't feel good, but worst of all is at this point where we realize that Palpatine didn't have any solid plan. Remember that he initially told Kylo Ren to kill Rey and then Kylo Ren said yes. boss totally and then he said to Ray, hey, that guy wants me to kill you, but don't worry, I'm not going to do that and yeah, you can assume that Palpatine gave him those orders because he knew Kylo Ren wasn't going to do it and that he would eventually lead Rey to him, but then Kylo Ren tries to kill her here and there, so, it's a good thing Rey didn't die because then your plan wouldn't work, but now Palpatine says okay, Ray, I actually want to. kill me so I can possess your body oh really now why didn't you say that before why didn't you just say kylo ren bring me the girl it's a very small change but it would have made a lot more sense oh but it doesn't matter because palpatine is trying to kill her Now, I think it's actually kind of funny that he's legitimately surprised that he could kill her and that his plan would work either way, he's like, oh, I could kill them, right?

I'm going to do that, but hey, it wouldn't be a Star Wars movie if it didn't have Palpatine making up his plan as he goes along and I'd like to point out that I've said many times before that this isn't the case. the worst star wars movie of all time its trying to do the best it can with what it has yes palpatine shouldnt be in this movie but ian mcdermott is doing his best and the art direction for him is really cool, looks pretty creepy. He looks like a Warhammer villain and yes, the characters are poorly written, but all the actors are giving their 100, they are working very hard to make these horrible lines sound acceptable, but at the end of the day, this movie has so many things holding it back and It just reeks of corporate meddling and, as I've said time and time again, this is supposed to be the final entry in a nine-film saga.

I've said this a dozen times and it's on purpose because I really want to make it clear how I failed at that, it's crazy to me that Disney made Avengers: Infinity War and End Game have epic, satisfying conclusions to some of the most random movies that you can never match and then they also have something that should be very similar but couldn't be more different. I will say that having the main Star Wars hero look to the stars to find the motivation he needs to defeat the bad guy is something that on paper might work for me, but a lot of people were saying that they really wish they could have done it.

I've seen the force ghosts show up and help Rey and Disney cut the ghosts because they can't show ghosts in China. I'm not going to say that I really needed to see an army of ghosts help our main hero, but it's pretty safe to say that. People just weren't all that pleased with this being the conclusion to the Star Wars saga. I can't really blame them because it's not really that satisfying, instead of getting any emotional satisfaction from this narrative we get stuff like this and now that the movie is Basically I have one last thing I would like to change but this one is like none of the other rewrites I've been suggesting in this video because this doesn't depend on changing the entire trilogy if only I were allowed to. to change just one thing in this entire trilogy i would make one key change i would have killed rey forever kylo ren sacrificing himself to save her is honestly the easy way out for this story if you had to tell me okay we need kylo ren to redeem himself right?

How can we do it? The easiest and most convenient way to do this is by giving him a heroic sacrifice. It's lazy. It's something we've seen a million times before in Star Wars. A true redemption would be if he had to constantly atone. byWhat he has done in his life up to this point has destroyed the Jedi order and led to the death of all his friends and family. If you really want to give this man a redemption arc, you have to make it so that he has to atone for this for the rest of his life.

He has to rebuild the Jedi order that he himself destroyed. He has to finally acknowledge his legacy as Skywalker. lightsaber he's been trying to claim for years, but at what cost? you can let rey die as a jedi super powerful jedi, jesus messiah, so that ben can continue his legacy before he wanted to let the past die now he has to pay the consequences for that now he has to atone by building a new future, you see, it's like poetry, it rhymes because it doesn't make sense for rey to get tattooed again on a planet he's never been to and never heard of burying lightsabers that belong to someone else's family members and seeing ghosts of people who she is not. related and claim a name that isn't his, imagine if all of this happened with ben, imagine how much more meaningful it would be for rey to die as the real hero of the movie and for kylo ren to just accept the fact that he could have done better and if movie ended with him, the title Rise of Skywalker would actually make a lot more sense, but hey, I'm not saying I know any better because, again, I don't write movies.

Some of my suggestions are admittedly a little crazy and yes, I didn't sit in a boardroom and discuss things with the Grand Star Wars story committee, but at the same time I didn't take my story suggestions from Reddit, so I have that in my favor, so I would like to hear what you think, please let me know if you think my changes were good or bad at the end of the day. I just think it's fun to think about how the movie could have been different in an alternate universe. It is fun. experiment like this and I'd like to see what kind of changes you guys would make, but in closing, I said last year that I would correct my original score for this movie, so after a lot of thought, I'll have to lower the score. of the rise of Skywalker from a six out of a five out of 10. um um shhh