The Nice Guy Trope, Explained

you don't stop, never. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy. Even then. Especially then! You just…don’t give up!” The

nice

guy is the type of person who laments that chivalry is dead. "We're a couple of good guys who stopped being a desirable character trait about half a century ago." But this passion for respecting women may not be all it seems. "Sometimes, I swear, I'm the only real feminist you know." “I'm wearing this shirt and you won't even let me freak out?!” The

nice

guy often turns romance into a moral issue, so if a girl doesn't like him, he just doesn't like to be treated well. "She rejected romance, honesty and respect." He hopes that the woman will be interested in him because of her inner goodness or because he is very much in love with her.

But this idea is hypocritical because the nice guy is usually attracted to his crush, at least in part, because of physical attraction... he's not exactly looking for a girl who's uncomfortable in his level of social hierarchy and falling for her just for the intensity of his love. her feelings. Finally, this type of character often constructs a fantasy about her love interest that is not representative of who she really is. "Guess I'm not the virgin queen of Dawson Leery's manual fantasies anymore." You emphasize how the good guy lives in his head through Joe's creepy narration. “A proposal: why don't we spend the day together tomorrow, just you and me?” The way her internal monologue refers to Beck as "you" makes it seem like he's having a conversation with her... except, of course, she's not really a part of it.

So in many of these cases, like in the first subversion of the Vertigo

trope

, the nice guy is in love with a ghost. And as soon as the woman breaks that illusion and asserts her individuality, she is no longer Mr. Nice Guy. "Either he is an evil, emotionless, miserable human being, or he is a robot." The nice guy may feel victimized by more confident men or beautiful women. “Why do pretty girls think they can treat people like shit and get away with it?” “Centuries of reinforcement.” But the truth is that he is his worst enemy. The character frequently extinguishes his own light through self-sabotage. “You are deliberately failing your courses so you can stay in high school...

You become weaker. Why do you do that?" In the My So-Called Life finale, Brian writes a romantic letter to Angela for Jordan to pass off as his own, Cyrano de Bergerac style, and she is impressed by its heartfelt content. " "It's like the most incredible letter I've ever received." Show creator Winnie Holzman said: “It wasn't the Brian who was walking through life who wrote that letter. He reached a deep place inside himself and wrote from there. "That's what he spoke to Angela." Holzman's words reveal how Brian has done himself a disservice by not showing Angela his true self before this point, "he hides behind Jordan." "You're also using it to express your true feelings for Angela." And when Angela directly confronts Brian to ask if he wrote the letter, and it's implied that she's also developing feelings for him, he still doesn't take credit. “I have to know, because…” “Know what?

There is nothing to know.” The Perks of Being a Wallflower raises a similar point in the way Charlie falls short by not pursuing Sam, his crush. "So why didn't you ever ask me out?" "I just didn't think you wanted that." "Well, what did you want?" In 13 Reasons Why, Clay never works up the courage to tell her classmate Hannah about how he feels about her. The show implies that there's a chance that it would have helped Hannah to know that someone cared. "Why didn't you tell me this when I was alive?" which gets to the point that it is not only HIMSELF that the Nice Guy suffers when he retires. "You can't just sit back and put everyone's life before yours and think that counts as love." And because you can't express yourself, you may lack emotional intelligence or empathy for those around you. "You don't understand people, Krakow." The good guy tends to take a passive role in his own life. “The pity thing?

Not good. If you want bad things to stop happening to you, then stop accepting garbage and demand something more.” But being so self-protective and risk-averse, he lets his feelings fester into self-loathing and makes sure he doesn't get any closer to what he really wants. "She probably wouldn't go out with me anyway, but how can I know for sure if I never ask her?" So the good guy needs to develop the courage to face the possibility that his feelings will not be reciprocated and, in facing this fear, he discovers that he can survive rejection and move on. “If he laughs, he laughs.

And if she doesn't love me, she doesn't love me, but if she doesn't find out…” In Pretty in Pink, once Duckie gets over his crush on Andie, we discover that this boy IS genuinely sweet. “You look stunning. Actually. “It-it’s impressive.” And encouraging her friend to follow her heart. "If you don't go with him now, I'll never take you to another prom again, do you hear me?" It also makes Duckie feel good. So what is he like a real good guy in our modern world and how is he different from the fake good guy? To All the Boys I've Loved Before Peter Kavinsky, the true good guy in To All the Boys I've Loved Before, is that total unicorn who, in addition to possessing the expected love interest qualities: good looks and confidence himself, is unusually romantic and thoughtful. “I even packed the snacks.

I asked Kitty where to find those yogurt drinks you love so much. "The Korean grocery store is on the other side of town." "I know." Instead of falling in love with an idea of ​​Lara Jean, he takes the time to listen and get to know who she really is. "You're a good listener." Peter respects his partner's wishes and boundaries. "I don't want to rush you." And he treats her not as an object of her adoration but as an active participant in the relationship. "If you want me to read that, then you have to give it to me." In Parks and Recreation, true Nice Guy Ben Wyatt supports his partner's aspirations 100%. "I love how independent my wife is." defend her instead of trying to control or limit her for fear that she will slip away from you.

She was an “Indiana native, highly qualified, and she wrote that she wanted to be governor in her kindergarten dream journal.” These modern examples of real Nice Guys are also reminiscent of authentic ones from the past. Jimmy Stewart's George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life is the quintessential good man that audiences adore because he cares about others, he has a sense of community, and he makes sacrifices to help people. “I received two thousand dollars. Here's two thousand dollars. This will help us until the bank reopens. Okay Tom, how much do you need? Tom Hanks has made a career out of playing real good guys, and in movies like Splash, that coincided very naturally with landing the girl he loves.

Really, it's always been great to be a good guy, and he still is. What separates a truly nice guy from the knock-off version is simply authenticity. The fake nice guy's grand gestures can come across as embarrassing and even manipulative. "You'll receive Cliff Notes versions of his thesis emails that list the things he sees in you that no one else sees." Or he can expect a reward for acting like a decent person. "I went to a lot of trouble to solve your clothing problem, and I think I at least deserve to see it in you." But while false kindness abounds in our world, true kindness sets you apart like a diamond in the rough... and in the end, the really nice guys finish first. “I need you to know that I like you, Peter Kavinsky.

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