The Late Late Show w/ Craig Ferguson! [Part 2]

buying Bruce Willis. Excuse me, how come you never had me? I just hang up the phone, yeah, hi, I'm Craig Ferguson, how are you, oh hey, how are you, but how can you call me? I'm calling you from the future so in the future I sound like I'm from Pakistan that's right yes it's just me everything is going well don't worry so in the future I said I'm preparing yourself , where I live? I can't reveal that here you live you live in a tent but everything is fine you are living in your car now it is fine I am living in my car in a tent that is correct and I sound like I am from Pakistan the tent the tent is in the car is a big car so it's a big click i couldn't hello i couldn't call the phone estelle are you having problems with the phone?

Yes, I was trying to dial the phone number and I did, how is it? I'm very well oh I'm quite exhausted I just had a frisbee on the banjo hello hello, are you sir, are you fine, hello, how are you? Hello, look at that, Hello, yes, is this uh, Mr. Batbakula, close enough, yes, a little nervous here, I hear you are nervous too, you want to touch the skeleton twins, okay, Charlie, free from the hook, Hi, that's tom hanks, what, what, no, no, hi, no, I'm on. franklin cocaine time thanks for the bouquet you said that right you sound like an animated bird in a disney movie you can't fly unless you're high on cocaine no way there are hills the odds of this you get it i don't it's like that scaring me You speak well, yes, I heard that a snake bit your butt.

I'm going to suck that poison right away. You don't even need a phone. Morgan Freeman said he would suck that poison right away. He's Morgan Freeman, he can do whatever he wants. I like it I agree the way I said yes Who is he? Hi Craig, I'm Morgan Freeman. I was just going to call you Mr. Freeman. Are you interested in making a low-budget independent film at some point? Kiss my ass. Okay, hello, hello, it's Justin Bieber's monkey. Sorry, I'll have to speak German for this conversation because the poor monkey doesn't understand any other language. One thing: we are German.

Two dings. Still Germans. Still German. You may not understand this, but I speak German fluently. Hello, oh, you speak. the language yes I really enjoy German in fact are you enjoying the bananas etc oh yes yes the bananas yes where in Germany are you enjoying the bottom half so you are in Bavaria Yes, for many weeks, yes, do you miss him? the soft canadian that abandoned you no, he's an asshole this guy, why don't you come? why don't you come visit us? We would love to have you here sexually. I can't believe they don't hang up. okay, uh, yeah, who is it, oh, hi, I was almost going to hang up, it's this justin bieber monkey from germany, i see you've gone german, yeah, because, as you know, justin bieber left me in germany, uh , oh, but you I still have a little bit of your Canadian yeah, I can't check the Canadian, how are you, Craig?

Yeah, this is great, okay, so, everyone's okay, oh, I'm here slowly peeling the banana. Click. Hello great, how are you? Isaani Schwarzenegger. Oh, hello governor or former. Governor, how are you? I'm awesome and let me tell you all the

late

night talk

show

s I've watched. This is the most recent one. Yeah, that's a pretty good joke. Have you ever heard the joke about the guy who brought millipedes on the plane? I'll tell you about it in the future next week. I'm going to tell him. Well, I won't spoil the punchline because it's wonderful anyway. Do you look?

Well, wait a second. Do you remember what he was talking about? in the monologue it was a long commercial break the sheep or the leaf blowers what the hell were we doing? I can't remember oh kiki wigglesworth having a baby the baby yes yes I think she hey excuse me governor have you seen prince kiki? kiki wigglesworth yes it's a great story yes yes I love babies I have a lot of them out there I don't know about this it's great I love making babies yes click who is it oh hi yes , it's Mike, how do you do it?

It's Miriam. Yes, I'm Miriam, yes, I don't have a police officer, right? I don't have caller ID, but can I tell you? I told you I never told myself. I have you. How about you take that little cloth and rub a hole in it? your head let's see what you're made of keep going start rubbing no, I want to see you do it right you want to see me rub myself with a serving you're making me feel like my name isn't

craig

anymore maybe in Actually, I know randy oh, I see that the public

part

icipates, the public is apparently desperate to try to get out of here faster.

They're finishing the jokes themselves. Oh dear, hello Craig, it's Jeff from the future, it's another one, it's another Jeff, okay, okay, who are you talking to? oh no, nothing, no one on the phone, that's not that other jeff, is it? Well, he doesn't know anything about us yet, listen, in the future you will become a paleontologist and we will dig up bones together sexually. What was that? All I know is that one of you two should calm down. If you hear me. I understand. I will tell. Don't tell me okay, okay, wait for you too, okay, hello, come on, honey, why don't you have a drink?

Hey, hey, hey, hey, honey, hi, oh, I'm george lucas, we weren't doing the song, we weren't doing this. They will cut the song even if we are live. I heard her clearly. I heard her clearly. No, we made another song. Nothing to do with Star Wars. Can I really watch Star Wars? Oh, I own that too. I'm suing you. I'm sending documents right now documents actually why don't you come on the

show

and talk about Star Wars? Oh, that would be great, great, okay, sure, have your people call my people, wait a second, honey. This is, I'm having some borscht soup with cocaine right now very good, it's very good good, do you want to go to a galaxy far, far away oh yes, hi, hi, I'm Donald Sterling, how are you? maybe maybe it's him hello, how was it? crying surge oh hi mister sarah from philadelphia who runs the cheesesteak place yes i have cars it's me how are you?

I'm a great guy we were talking about, you don't sound like the other guys who own cheesesteak places in Philly. yes, no, well, I emigrated and I love it, we are sad, but yes, you look great, I love you, oh, you have your tie, you have your ice cream, yes, I do, sometimes I wear my July tie in August and sometimes that's ok. Sorry for looking over there, are you talking to me? I'm talking to Sarah oh, look, sorry, yeah, yeah, so it's funny how you and Serge never talk at the same time. No, we could say, are you good?

Yes, hello, Serge, hello. here, how are you? I am good how are you? You have to talk to Jeff, yeah, sure, yeah, okay, yeah, hello Jeff, how are you? I'm fine, how are you? Oh, here we go, how are you? That's great, yeah, nice clip, hello. Hi Craig, I'm Sarah, hey sir, how are you? I'm fine, how are you, sir? That's cool, I heard you talk about fashion, yeah, yeah, here's the thing, Serge, I didn't know you were into fashion, I thought you had a cheesesteak place, oh yeah. I can do I can do two things at the same time you know well so what is it? i'm just talking to sarah you're talking to serge yes yes tell him tell him i said hi tell him tell serge that i said jeff peterson hi, jeff pearson says hi, I love that jeff pater says this, grant, well, I'll tell you what, why Why don't you talk to him yourself?

Okay everyone, let's see, I'm just going to hand you over to Jeff sir, that sounds great, oh hey, what's going on? in twill ah not too much how are you? Oh, very well, you know, the other day I put my hand in a well, beer, did you fan the gale penny? Yes, you know purple is in this year. I don't know how long I can keep this up. I'm going to look for what the final color is this fall. Purple. Purple. Okay, click. OK. I hang up the fan. So that you.