The Big Fat Quiz Show of Everything 2018 (Full Episode) | Absolute Jokes

those, it's none of those. I just told you what you already understood, what do you mean? I literally just told you, I just told you code, you asked, no, I said it, do you care, I said no, I didn't care, I told you with noise or with words, with words, I just told you which was better the answer, okay, so Reverend Kate wanted to know how the chli kids at the Chocolate Factory knew their fats. What do you have? Vic and Bob. One died in chocolate. Yes, he was in a chocolate river and he got stuck in one. pipe, I'll give you those two shots of Wonker, taken by Wonka, they were cut from the book and the movie, so unfortunately there aren't three killed by umum, but they were also cut to hang, okay, you got it, I mean, the dead one in chocolate fell in chocolate I would give you maybe no WKA shot WKA shot yes proper execution style like Qued Tarantino Charlie in Chocolate okay Claudia Miranda exploded yes Violet swelled into a giant blueberry and had to be squeezed and sucked through the Cube uh yeah what else happened drowned in chocolate gum Etc. squirrels and stuff, young squirrels I mean, you've completely lost interest, okay, what did you put?

We think we're stuck in a tube. AUST gloop trapped in a tube. Yes, you actually know them. I think so, Violet. Bard, I think she was the one who blew up like a blueberry, yeah right, then there was Veruka salt that went in the trash after it was decided she wasn't a golden egg and Mike TV was Shunk after being broadcast to a TV. yes 100% true yes ok tickle you saw a solemn moment in cornwall what do you think was going on? We have Furby's funeral, we think they're burying something and we don't think it's a real animal that close. a Furby funeral, what did you get Vic Bob?

The burial of three tiny men. Yes, that is correct. Three tiny men thought it would be something funny at the end of the

show

. What do you think we have achieved with this funeral of Claude Tamagotchi? Correct answer. Okay, um, uh, I asked you what a rubber duck, a top hat, a Scottish hound, a cat, a penguin, a T-Rex, a car, and a battleship have in common. Did everyone understand this? Yes, Rand we immediately have another one where he actually is. two answers, but you didn't know the second one, so we have Monopoly pieces and we take Jonathan's butt, okay, Monopoly pieces, everyone has that point.

I asked them what experience Betty Hill was describing in that clip. everyone understands this, I think it's hard to get anything else, right? We went with alien abduction abduction AB abduction Al what did they get abduction? No what? But all that could have been a driving test. It took us 7 hours, I drove 140 miles, talk about the instructor who knocked out her teeth, um, she was yes, I can tell you that Betty and her husband Barney were the first people to go public with that alien abduction. They look very happy about it, aren't they excited? I asked you, I asked you what this means in American Sign Language, then I told Claudia you wouldn't listen, I'm so sorry, did you tell me right away? look what I wrote I love you is I love you oh VI Bob Satan Satan that's the way W Satan that's Satan isn't it?

Yes, so the th out Satan we put itunity of mindfulness and no idea, which kind of sums up the whole experience of love, that's beautiful, Jonathan, beautiful, okay, time for our final question, please den welcoming some very special guests, okay, these are all grown men with families, these are all football mascots. All you have to do is name the pet, that's all you have to do. Wow, it can't be, it can't be easy, will you tell us the team? Yes, I'll tell you the team. Okay, so that's West Ham West Ham. If you know what his nickname is, I think you have a good chance of getting it, okay?

I can tell you that's uh scunthorp is next uh scunthorp a fun fact he has a football team he looks a little depressed it's because of the scun team you're not someone who loves all the bunnies yeah thank you poor thing these are men Adults. I can't stress this enough, these are grown men, okay, and next we have uh from West Brin albian, um, who I think is. it's worth saying that they are called the baggies the baggies if the team is called the baggies why this is okay I don't know why but they are called the baggies and that agrees with me so what do you think it could be called?

You have to write that down, so next up is the Arsenal one. I don't think it needs to be said, but I know them as the Gunners. Yeah, well, the last one at the end, that's just terrifying. This is from Partic Thistle in Glaso. and, somewhat ironically, they've made a sun that, and I think that's what the sun looks like, because they've never appeared on the scene. I swear, no Fielding has that outfit. Yo, Jimmy, yes, the object of the game is to write the names, what are they? They actually named their pet, he has a name, like Robert, what you think, no, it's a funny name, okay, don't do that to me.

It's a good thing Jimmy is the most human of a lineup. I like it, uh, I like it. the fact that it looks like the sun is shining on my ass and it's angry okay so if everyone got answers come on let's go to Claudia and Miranda to get the definitive answers okay sure okay two points for every correct answer, then what? you have two, yes, Hammerman, Hammerman's bunny, Sue Sparrow, Keith or Keith Sparrow, Keith Sparrow, yes, of course, and then Miranda, what did you think his name was Robert, the Arsenal dinosaur, the Gunners dinosaur ? Do you think his name could be Robert?

Robert, okay, and then you thought that he. his name was Shane yellow partic Shane yellow yeah okay let's go with Jonathan and Nish we thought the first one was hammy hammy I mean he's not a great actor but that's harsh so we thought uh from scun scany the rabbit , then we became loose, the bird. I wanted to go with Bagford Birdsworth though, but that was it and then we went with Ganosa Surus. Rex Nish knew it, yeah, and then we went with Sunny, the sun, okay, so you're right, Baggy, the bird, um, I'll do it, I'll do it.

I give you that you're pretty close to that scarce rabbit that's why scunny rabbit is true wow what of course it's what it was from no it wasn't no he's scunny bunny um so scunny bunny um baggy bird goose orus um now the West Ham one no, well let's see maybe Vick and Bob got this Rob that we think is the hammer, he's Hammerhead Hammerhead H, that makes sense, he has a hammer, he looks like Iron Man on a budget, so, and then you got the what did you do? I get you, Sunny Bunny, you got that, you got that.

Point bird, baggy bird, you got that, you know that's wrong, right? Dino, the goose orus, sunny Patrick. Sunny Patrick is better than your real name. Think about naming his mascot, Kingsley KY, okay, so final scores. tonight I can tell you Claudia winman mirand har you're 37 you're in last place with Vic geves and Bob Mortimer come on 37 points 37 points our winners tonight with 46 points uh come and take your trophy it's Jonathan Ross and nishar come on what a moment , excellent performance, gentlemen, well done, congratulations, that's it, thank you very much to all our special guests, thanks for seeing Jimmy's car, this was the big

quiz

and

everything

, good evening.