The 3 Main Signs Of Burnout & How to Prevent and Reverse It | Dr. Neha Sangwan

the future so pay attention to your thoughts because that's another level where you could be having a net loss of energy um quick question, so you brought Remember to get out of

burnout

you need to take care of your physical health you need to take care of your sleep you need to do exercise you need to take care of all those things I know from my experience when I have been exhausted and Talking to other people who have been exhausted, their energy levels are very depleted and they are very overwhelmed because they feel what is wrong with me Why is this happening to me?

I'm going to feel like this forever. The idea of ​​just completely reversing something in your health seems completely overwhelming and people will then search the internet for things to say. Say do this and do that and then people get confused and often they just don't do anything with it. Sort out a few simple things that have worked for you when you're in that state where you don't have much. of energy, you don't have much emotional bandwidth, but at least they've helped you slowly get out of that hole. Yeah, so if you're exhausted, so if you're at the end, like oh wow, really.

I can't work I can't function the first thing you need to do is help your biology get back into rhythm that's why I was saying sleep is so important because think about it when you're sick, what do you want to do? lie in bed and you want to sleep because that's where your physiology takes over and starts doing what it needs to do, so a lot of times the person who is exhausted can be pretty high functioning until they're exhausted now if they just can't do anything right. The reason I was going through the physical, mental, emotional, social and spiritual parts was that sometimes people experience a level of exhaustion that is really on an emotional level and for that I would tell them that they need to talk to someone to get an different perspective to be able to expand. their perspective on what's happening, right, if it's something related to their thoughts, right, it would guide them to a different set of tools, if it's on a physical level, which I know it was for me.

He was a busy doctor. I had 36 hour shifts. I was up some nights, some days I was working the right days, so what I would say to each person is that you're going to need to know where you're having a net energy drain because most likely you're not on all five levels physically, mentally. emotional social spiritual some people have a strong network, they have a good community, but they feel really burned out because of their negative self-talk and they're not really taking good care of themselves if you had a strong social community when we did this because that's the question you would ask on social media: name the top five people online or in person that you spend the most time with and tell me if you are making a net gain or a net loss of energy from that, let's say this person had a good socialization. group of people, but I was feeling very down emotionally and physically fine, so I would ask them to use that social network to help them, that's the time when you might not want your friends to know that you are going through a difficult situation. time, but there may be one or two of them that you could trust and that would help you, but you have to know what gives you energy and what drains you because, for some social people, eating is like no, no, no, that's It's not me at that moment, maybe what they need is a more private space to do this, so I believe Doug that the reason

burnout

is an epidemic is because people try to say things like, oh, We are going to have a massage chair in the office. on Fridays, oh, we'll send you a bag of vegetables, so it's not what it is, but every person when you get there will have gotten there because there's a unique path that you took to get there and you have the first thing.

I would ask someone to just take, you know, I'll give it to you, it's a link where they can, in 15 minutes, answer a series of questions to assess where they're having a net gain or a net loss of energy and I'll literally just walk them through it. in a little six minute video in each section, maybe that's true, I don't remember how many minutes it is, but I'll explain to you how to answer those questions and you'll know for yourself because the first one. The first step is where the energy drain is because there are many ways we can become depleted, so it's a little difficult for me to answer that question generically.

As soon as I know what area it is, then it will be much easier for me to guide. them, what would you say? um, you know, in all the research work that you've done for your book and even in your own life in Azure's history as a doctor, what would you say are the

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things that you've done? I just saw that it constantly drains people's energy and they may not be paying attention to them, well that's a great question because number one is boundaries, people have been hurt in the past and have rigid boundaries, no one come in, nothing goes well when you do that, you stay safe in many Arenas, but you also don't let in laughter, connection and love, you don't let in appreciation and connection, then there are people who have porous boundaries, like they let enter anyone and anything because they don't.

They don't want to feel rejected and so they live their life from the outside in, so their mood will change depending on the environment they are in, so if you have to continually adapt to your environment, that means a lot of energy. And then they lose a lot of energy and what I would say are healthy boundaries is something that we've never really been taught and we think it's rude if we say to someone else, thank you very much for that invitation. I think tonight is going to be better. I've had a long week. I think tonight will be better if I just rest and recover properly.

We feel so confused about how not to offend others and take care of ourselves, so I think boundaries are number one. experience that I notice or people stay in a job because they feel trapped the way they have to do they don't feel appreciated maybe their boss doesn't treat them well or they don't like the environment but they stay anywhere because they are too afraid to go out and figuring out what to do right, as well as what other options there are, so I think part of it is about and the third, I would say, is conflict, relationships and inability to communicate with yourself. or the people you care about, uh, because of our disability, no one taught us how to handle money, navigate relationships, or navigate our emotions, and I think when we have physical cues in our bodies, like in my case, it's constriction of the throat and stomach pain more than ever.

By finding out what that meant or deciphering it and using it as powerful data, I just overrode it by working harder and harder, so would you say the

reverse

is also true? If you have healthy boundaries, if you are in a job that you enjoy, and if you have healthy communication tactics are the three most important things that people may not pay attention to that can lead to this net gain and energy to help them avoid The depletion. I think yes I think I would say it begins. by being able to decipher your own body's unique language, the signals your body gives you, what do you mean by that? um, for many years I used to have this constricting feeling in my throat, I didn't know what it meant, it almost was. like an annoyance to me, like when there's something that makes me uncomfortable again, like that, for many years, you know, it wasn't until I was in medical school that I talked to the doctors about giving me anesthesia and giving me a camera to look and see if I had cancer because I was busy studying all this in school and I was convinced that that feeling must be like a lump in my throat because after a while it never stopped, it was like constantly there after the second reached me.

He said your throat looks perfectly fine. I suggest you learn some stress management techniques now. While I was relieved to not have a lump in my throat or cancer, I thought: what do you want me to do with that? So what? I would say there are some really interesting ways that you can, in just a few minutes, bring your physiology back into balance, so let me tell you how crazy this is: your body doesn't know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. , so when you sleep, if you have a nightmare, let's say that someone is chasing you, breaking into your house, uh, you know, running after falling off a cliff, I don't know what it is, but whatever the nightmare is, when you You wake up and you're sweating and your heart.

You run and they take off the covers, you look around and what's happening is like total, peaceful darkness, nothing but your body reacts to your thoughts as if they were real, so if you start to feeling trapped in a relationship, a job, wherever you are. You start to feel this loneliness, this isolation, let's say you and I, this is just a simple example, but let's say I'm a mom and I'm worried about my kids or a dad and I'm worried about my kids and them. They don't come, they haven't returned home, they arrive 15 minutes late. If I go through the scenarios in my head, they could have been in a car accident and what if they know all these things?

My body literally goes through that emotional roller. roller coaster like it's real, so we're doing all this anxiety and worry that we all have, you know, that a lot of people have in the world. I can't tell you how quickly we deplete our own emotions, our own energy, so everything is connected to your body. Take care of your heart, your emotions, you know what you want and how you relate to other people in the world. It is so interconnected that wherever you start to improve things it will influence other areas, since there has been so much information available. in the last, I'm especially talking about the last five years, about taking care of yourself, making sure you're passionate about what you do, boundaries, healthy relationships, like there's been a ton of talk about all of this over the last five years and yet However, we are in this epidemic of burnout, like you said, why are we here right now?

Yeah, well, I think um. It's a combination of us as humans deciding that we're going to collectively focus on accelerating our external worlds, so think about what each company does. If you are a communication company, you want to communicate faster. If you're a delivery company, you want to be FedEx or DHL, you want to get things faster. So, as a collective human species, we have decided on some external rules. are faster, it is better to do more with less each year and make profits on people now, why would we individually allow ourselves to override our own body's signals of exhaustion, tiredness, all these things and buy into that world well because, of course Much as we need sleep and we also want to belong we are humans who care about belonging to each other so if the outside world tells us this is success but we accept it from a very young age we want to make our parents proud. to be successful in society we want to have the girl we want to have the family and the car and the life and that's why we think that this is the way to get there and what I think we have forgotten is that if faster is better, I would argue together it is more fast, meaning we have made our external world so fast that it doesn't actually match our own biology.

We have accelerated things. Could we communicate 24/7 around the world non-stop on social media as if everything we have done has exploited the external world? but no one has taken into account what our internal biology needs, which is what rest, effort, rejuvenation, new effort, how our own physiology requires something different from the world that we have co-created and that is why now what I believe and this is where spiritual energy comes in. I call spiritual energy what matters most to you, your highest values, if for you let's say one of your highest values. I refer to my readings about you and my knowledge of you says that health is one of your highest values. true, yes, in your world of making decisions in a complex world, our world is now moving very fast, it is much more complicated and most people have not done the work to discover what their highest values ​​are and if not they do it.

I don't know so my top five values ​​are love, integrity, service, beauty and play so those are things and when I say I had some judgment about beauty and play but I really took a week and I wrote everything I thought about. It was beautiful It was like a father looking into his son's eyes It was the flowers outside It was a beautiful person It was the way the table was set and I realized Beauty for me I am a very visual person Beauty matters and that is why you pay pay attention to your top five values ​​and then, of course, you can put many things under them, as in love.

I have empathy that cares about the community. You know, I have a lot of things underneath, so you can define them however you want, but once you know your core values. five values ​​for you and then in Integrity for me is health physical health physical emotional social spiritual health so now,when I'm presented with complex decisions and I have to make quick decisions, I know what I value in what order and then I can make pretty quick decisions, whereas Some people now in this world it's like everything is overwhelming and they don't know how to fix it, so here are some steps on what matters most to you in your life and if any of you are listening and don't know, oh.

Wow, I've never thought about my top five values. A great way to do this is to simply remember someone you admire, it can be someone who is your best friend, someone in your family or it can be someone you admire in the world and then write down the top five things you value about them, what what you appreciate about them, what you admire about them and another exercise would be to write down yourself what would be the most meaningful thing that people could say about you when you were Not in the room, those will reveal your highest values, some of your highest values ​​and that is A great place to start, but once you know your values, boy, you can make quick and effective decisions that really feel good to you.

You're in a complex world, so from what I hear you say, the reason we're so exhausted right now it's because society and culture and everything is moving faster and faster and faster and people are not able to keep up and also there can be in many ways this misalignment of values ​​and authenticity where people are chasing the wrong things and they don't even know what they stand for and then they burn out because they don't even feel satisfied in what they're doing with everything that we said that we talked about to

reverse

burnout from the perspective of someone who is in that last phase down and up. outside, like the first thing you said to do is really focus on sleep, which is a great start. step, but also take inventory of your mental health, your physical health, your spiritual health, your social health, your emotional health to see where you are lacking and then also pay attention to what is draining your energy, what about the person than me?

I would say that most people probably fall into this situation where they're not in that final phase, but they're starting to feel a little lethargic, they're starting to feel a little depressed about their situation and it's not because of anything related to the mental health is more because they're just tired and they're right at that point, so where does anyone go from there? Well, that's usually a sign that you've outgrown whatever coping mechanisms you're in. The relationships or community that you are in in the job description that you are in usually means that there is something that you are overcoming or some coping mechanisms that used to work for you that no longer work, so let's imagine that I am someone who during long time I've had half a glass of wine at the end of the day to lighten up the day like, hey, oh I can't wait to have my glass of wine and now I realize I need at least a full glass or sometimes two .

The interesting thing is that, for me, what happens over time is that your body has a lot to process, so you may start to feel tired a few months after that high use of your coping mechanism, whatever it is. be. and now that coping mechanism is no longer working for you, so there is a consequence that the strategies that I'm using to move forward are no longer working or what I would ask you to do is the assessment that I just did. I talked to you about what is answering some questions, look at where you have a net gain or a net loss of energy and focus there because you can, you can recover from that pretty quickly if you catch it early, if you really catch it and it's like you know what I think. that I've outgrown this group of people that I'm socializing with or well, you know I'm in this job, I've been in it for five years and I'm on autopilot and I don't understand, I don't feel like getting up in the morning anymore.

It's kind of like, oh, um, business as usual. I could do this on autopilot. I don't really care or, have there been any changes in my life lately? Have the children left home? Have I gotten out of a relationship like the one that's been going on lately? Do you want to do it? Therefore, doing the evaluation at different times in your life will give you a different answer, so I would ask them the first thing you would do if you caught it early and realized that you are not yourself. Hey, where would I classify my food, dream energy movement, as amazing?

Then you'd wonder what would make it a 10 if you rated it. anything less than 10. go to the mental what thoughts are going through my mind right now like what am I focused on notice go to the emotions what brings me joy here in my life and where am I avoiding conflict and you know challenging emotions, It's easy to figure out where you're having a net drain, then there's social media who I'm dating online and in person and then there's what matters most to me and what I would then ask them to do is once you figure out what matters most to me.

You care right next to that right what percentage of your time you spend on the things that matter most to you where you spend your time because if you say family is what matters most but you're telling me 95 of your time is at work, a big clue about the alignment of your spiritual energy, so you're saying to go into this questionnaire after you've identified that I've slept well. I'm taking care of my health. My movements are good. My food. Well, because I feel like if someone is low on energy and hasn't slept for months, I mean, I would say it's probably like what we've talked about, that's the low hanging fruit in that situation, right? your dream, so I want that when you do the evaluation, the evaluation is clear to everyone listening, it is physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, you answer them all correctly and at the end of each of the energy levels that you tell yourself to yourself there is the physical energy that gives me a net gain or a net loss in general and the way you find out is that you have just had the answers to the questions here, you have classified yourself in all of them and then below you have said, OK?

I would make food a ten which would make sleeping a 10 good and 10 is not like perfection ten is that you are satisfied like your own satisfaction is what we are evaluating so when you do it for all of them you will see Oh, I have a net physical energy drain and a social net gain or an emotional and mental net gain but spiritually drained, so you'll find out as you answer those questions and they're all really important, but yeah, you're right, no. no one will be able to exercise their way out of a bad diet, they will not be able to not sleep and then think it is something else, no, it will enlighten you and people will have a unique combination, all very down to themselves and depending on where they are in their life, what are your thoughts on balance?

Because I know you talk about the importance of these five pillars of health and energy and that each one of them, if not cared for properly, can have negative impacts on others, but I want to say that life happens, none of us are perfect and, I understand, I suppose people will fall short in one of these areas at any point in their life, so what do you think about all that? so I could have a coach and my life in many ways was about excellence and effort and extremes like all or nothing and I would also say that in society we are often revered for being really good at something, but isn't that so interesting? ?

What our body and our biology and our world, as you know, often needs is balance, like the body needs feedback loops, our hormonal system needs all of that, so it's about both

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taining a polarity really where, yeah , there are these that you know you want. To be really good at whatever you love, you want to delve into it and enjoy it, and integration and balance matter too. Is it important that we improve our communication and help make our world faster and better? Of course it is and at the same time. Is it so important that we also take care of our own self-care?

What I would say is that you are now talking about the idea of ​​polarities. If this is a great example, some people want all the freedom. no structure, but one thing I've learned in my life is that if I set up an organization of systems, whether it's in my house, on my computer, in my world, that really gives me the ability to be flexible, so structure with flexibility , correct rules with freedom. Like there are polarities in our world and one of them is right: this idea of ​​balance and integration along with effort, so we want to be great, we want to achieve the things we want to achieve and we want to be balanced and integrated the way we do.

So the good news about everything we're talking about is to start anywhere because it will influence the other areas in the same way that you can negatively influence others, so getting a little more sleep can make you feel better emotionally. Values ​​can strengthen your social sphere because you know where to say no and when to say yes and here's another one and the boundaries that I would say, just remember that when you say no to someone else it's not just saying no to someone else. It's actually saying yes to yourself, if I decide to stay home on a Friday night after a tough week, I'm actually saying yes to myself, framing things in a way that you can actually see that it's not about just to disappoint someone else. uh it's really about taking care of yourself and maintaining that polarity of yourself with others, so if someone is listening to this and now they're like okay, I know what to do if I'm extremely exhausted, I know what to do if I'm extremely exhausted.

I'm in the beginning stages of burnout, I understand the importance of these five pillars and energies of health and they want to know, okay, what are some things that I can do each week to make sure that I avoid burning out again, keep me from burning out in the future, whatever it may be in your experience and based on what you've done in your job, if you were to pick one thing for each of these five buckets that someone could implement on a daily or weekly basis that would give them the most bang for the buck. your investment in

prevent

ing burnout and improving your overall well-being.

What would each of them be like? That's hard, okay. I'm just going to give it, I'll give you one for each one. I would say sleep 30 minutes more than you have been sleeping. That wouldn't be physical. The second mental bass. I would say that a curious fact is that we have 70,000. thoughts every day or so, that's the average 90 to 95 of those thoughts are the same as yesterday, that's why it's so hard to change your mind, so I would say pay attention to what your mind is on auto repeat, just goes through your head because those are unconscious thoughts that are draining you, so I would write them down like, oh wow, I was brushing my teeth today and these are the thoughts that we're going through, I make them conscious so you can choose them, you can choose If that's Serving the emotional issue, what I would say is pay attention to your physique, your physiology, when you have an experience, when you look at your calendar, do you feel elevated and excited by what you see?

Do you feel heavy? , constricted and exhausted?, use your body. in the emotional experience to help guide you, so pay attention to what energizes you and what you know in your everyday life, on a social level, it's really about when you leave someone online or in person and realize if that feels like the same thing, energizing. or it is burning out for you because it is time to take inventory in your life, what may have worked for you before is no longer working if you are in the midst of this burnout experience and the question really is: what have you overcome? ?, what is the time to do it? growing and changing can be scary and it can be difficult and then on the spiritual part, what I would tell you is that we are in a world that now depends on the people who do well will be the ones who can those who trust enough in themselves to innovate and adapt to a world that changes very quickly?

It's about agility. It's about adaptability and your ability to reinvent yourself is determined by knowing what's important to you and then being able to be flexible and creative to discover it. how to adapt to this world in a way that serves you and the world around you, so now we have to expand our thinking, so I would say it would be sleep, automatic thoughts, noticing what it gives you. it drains you of emotional energy and exhausts you noticing your interactions with people and just because you have been with them for a long time doesn't mean you need to be with them in the future, you may have learned your lessons together, you may be well rounded and so just allowing and then spiritually it's about trusting yourself enough to innovate and reinvent yourself so that you can have what you need to feel good every day talking about the social side of things.

I know it can be a challenge when someone is in a relationship with someone or has a loved one who is just working themselves to the bone, they are working 15 hour days and maybe they are chasing adream, maybe they are earning money to bring home to the family, they are just doing their thing. and it is negatively impacting your health and the relationship. How can someone navigate that in a way that makes sense where you're not telling someone to stop working? You're not telling someone to stop pursuing their dream, but I'm trying to do it without changing them, trying to help them course-correct a little bit to move further for the sake of the relationship and the madness, so I'll just use that you're in the screen with me, so I'm going to I'm going to talk to you and I'm going to act like you're that person that I need to talk to, okay, let's go okay, so I would say it Doug, um, I was wondering, uh, when could I talk with you?

I probably need about 15 minutes and I'm wondering when would be a good time. I know you've been really busy with work and I'm wondering there are some things I'd like to talk to you about so we can have a better partnership and I'm wondering when would be a good time for you. How about Saturday? Well, now it's Saturday, we choose a time, it's lunch. Well, it's noon, maybe it's our time to walk. I don't know what it is, but. Now we're there and you tell me now what was that thing you wanted to talk to me about and I say, you know, I just want to tell you how much I appreciate how hard you work, I know that this dream that you have is so important and not just how hard you work and dedicate your time, energy and money to do this work so you can support our family.

Thank you. I really want to start by saying that I know how much this means in the world and how generous you are. For our family, what I've noticed is the last three experiences we've had with the kids, you came in late or left early and I heard Joey say where is dad and what am I doing here right now with you, Doug. I'm just giving you information I'm just telling you what I've noticed the other thing I want to know I know that we usually go out on Sundays and in the last six months we've done it twice and I miss you and So what I'm wondering is that I also know You've been getting up earlier and going to bed later, so there are a few things I want to ask you, one is how are you?

How do you feel? How's your energy level? How are you? you are doing the second. What I want to tell you is that the kids miss you and I miss you, so I'm wondering if there's any way we can help you do what you need and stay connected. How would you receive that? Well, I can go two ways. I would say the ideal way would be to be receptive to that and be like you know I understand your concerns. You're right. I have been working a lot. I've been tired, I need to pay more attention to the family, spending time with you, the kids, etc., etc., but I think what tends to happen is that I would shut up, okay, give me that and I'd say I'm fine. "You're exaggerating, right, or I'm fine.

They're too young to understand. You know. I would say something like that, which I think is common. So how would you proceed? After that, I would say. Well, I was just noticing some things that I didn't know if they were affecting you or if we just want to be close to you while you build your dream well and do all this, and sometimes we miss you, so we're just sharing with you that we love you, we miss you and we're proud of you, and we're. what I was thinking is that maybe you and I could come up with some ways that you could have both rights and if or when you're open to that, just know that we're here and we want to support you or I would say to this person.

If there's any way I can support you better so you feel like you can have more time with the kids or Is there something that you're doing that maybe I could get you off your back or we could have some help? Is there something that you're doing that you think? that could be attended to by someone else to give you even more time? right, because I see how hard you're working, so it's more about valuing going to what this other person values ​​when you need to connect with someone who you think is burning out, or they're using work as a coping mechanism, sometimes remember what I was telling you that in the adjustment phase of burnout they start to disengage from relationships because it's too much energy, so what I like to do is just tell them, hey, I noticed you haven't slept in at all.

The last three months like that was kind of fun, we watched TV and did whatever, um, how are you? and if they said oh, I'm fine, I'm fine, no problem, then it's like, oh, okay, then it's the truth. It is not like this? You are not going to show up for this relationship. I would never do that. What I would say is that I miss you. I miss you. I love when we spend time together. Is there anything we know? So it's more about not doing. someone makes a mistake, but I really care about them and then ask if there's anything you can do to support them and appreciate what they're giving you well and then I try to maintain some level of emotional well-being when that person doesn't.

I don't give you the answer you're expecting and maybe they'll give you a little nudge and just try to stay Keel so that eventually, hopefully, that person ends up coming when they're ready. Well I think the only thing people need to do is What I know is that you can't make anyone do this and some people like me have to hit rock bottom before they know there is something called burnout, they literally don't think like I thought that was infallible. I'm a doctor like me. I've done 36 hour shifts like you've got to be kidding me. I tell other people to eat their vegetables and rest after their heart attack and meanwhile I don't sleep for 36 hours so somehow I thought I was different and I was hitting.

One day a wall was what taught me, oh my God, a wake-up call to Central and sometimes, as painful as it is, we have to allow people to lose relationships, lose opportunities, they wouldn't have their health collapsing, whatever. whatever, because that is the awakening. Call them out, but I hope that everyone who hears this will follow you and listen to you because you know and what you're really doing is trying to help them before that, right, exactly right, I mean, you and I have been through some pretty tough experiences and if our lives and our pain can serve as a survival guide for someone else, I'm in it, you know, I hope that can be the case, turning pain into purpose, so Neha, I think this is a great place to we. close our combo I wanted to thank you once again for coming on the show if people want to get a copy of your book if they want to connect with you online what's the best place to do it yeah it works in life and they can they can get it at Barnes Noble uh Amazon anywhere books are sold and if you want, there's also a Giveton account if you decide you want it for your company or your team or whatever, and I'm an intuitive intelligence Inc.com.

Inc at the end intuitive Intelligence inc.com and Neha Sangwon is amazing. Well, I'll be sure to include links to those things in the show notes for those listening. What I invite you to do is share a conclusion. Today's episode was super important as we covered something that a lot of people struggle with and that is burnout, so if what you learned was anything you learned about the causes of burnout or the

signs

and symptoms of burnout or what you can do if are you completely exhausted or what can you do if you can in the beginning stages of exhaustion why the five pillars of energy and health are so important whatever your biggest takeaway is make sure to tag Neha and tag myself because we would love to hear your comments, we thank you once again Thank you for listening to this episode of Adversity Advantage.

I'm your host, Doug Bobst. See you next time.