SNL Commercial Parodies: Household

-Presentation of the Starbucks Verismo home brewing system. Simply insert the capsule of your choice, press coffee, espresso or latte and give the machine your name. -Marsha. -And when it's ready, Verismo's voice feature will let you know. -Amorphous. Order for Amorfa. ♪♪ -We at Roach-Ex know... ...that there is nothing worse than unexpected guests at home. -Ah, home, sweet home! -Especially cockroaches. -Good digs! -They always make their presence felt. -I, um, would give it a minute. -And once the cockroaches get in... -Oh. Hey, enough with the light, huh? -...they feel at home. - Actually he will say anything. ♪♪ -And before you know it, they're practically part of the family. -Run with you. - -Because when it comes to cockroaches... -Hello? -...let's be honest. -Dear? -What is yours... - -...is theirs. - -Yeah!

Yes, daddy cockroach! -You had sex with my wife. -Someone had to do it. ♪♪ -That's not good. -Get out of my house! -Ah, Bill, perfect moment. We're running out of snacks, buddy. ♪♪ -Bill? Bill, you're drunk. -Shut up! ♪♪ -Wow. -Good good good. The big guy has a can of Roach-Ex Plus. What are you going to do with it, Bill? Are you going to spray me? -Shut up. -Well, spray me, Bill. Go ahead, do it. Did you know? I'll give you a little help. -You're crazy. -That's right, I'm crazy, Bill. If you want me out of your house, just push the nozzle.

Do it. -I will do that! -Do it, Bill! Spray me! Do it! -I will do that! ♪♪ - You can't do it, can you, Bill? You know why? Because you are not a man. You are nothing more than a... Ah! ♪♪ - No. No. - - No! No! -Son. ♪♪ -So send cockroaches an eviction notice with the Roach-Ex Plus Cockroach Killer. Cockroaches don't stand a chance. -Children, it's time to put on your pajamas. -That? -I mean your Swiffer Sleepers. -Who said sweeping floors can't be fun? -Are you ready, guys? -Yeah! -Yeah! -♪ A-dust and a-slip, on the floor you're riding ♪ ♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ -Swiffer Sleepers, the dust collector that crawls and rolls. -Emily? -Hurrah! -♪ Mop and wheeze, wipe and sneeze ♪ ♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ -This is your ticket to swiping. ♪♪ -Swiffer Sleepers makes floor cleaning a family affair. -♪ Here comes Swiffer Sleepers ♪ -Not recommended for children with allergies. ♪♪ -For more than 40 years, here at Starbucks we have brought our passion for great coffee and espresso to people around the world.

But a place was impossible until now. Introducing the Starbucks Verismo Home Brewing System. Simply insert the capsule of your choice, press coffee, espresso or latte and give the machine your name. -Marsha. -And when it's ready, Verismo's voice feature will let you know. -Amorphous. Order for Amorfa. Yellow? - Marsha? -Oh yeah. -Thank you. -And if Verismo makes a mistake in his order, simply call his attention and explain the problem. -This is tea. I ordered a coffee with milk. -Well. So, a tea and a latte? -No. I just... There's no tea. I just want the coffee with milk. -Eh...

It's okay. Hold. -Once Verismo says "Wait," you're just nine minutes away from having your coffee. -He said he doesn't want tea. -She said that? -And from the creators of Verismo comes Verquonica, a larger, non-functional machine with which Verismo talks about you. -Why do you want a tea if you want a coffee with milk? -I do not know, man. -That's stupid. -And if you order now, you'll also receive Starbucks accessories like non-refrigerated milk jugs, a bunch of discarded wooden stirrers, and a package of Sugar in the Raw crushed in a puddle of cream. -Coffee with milk for SharShar? -Um, I already have my latte. -Now she doesn't want a coffee with milk?

Oh Lord. -This bitch is crazy. -She is working my last nerve. -Starbucks' Verismo. -Hello. I'm Pete Kemper. And I want to talk to you about a sleep revolution. My wife Stacy and I have been married so long that, well, we both have our own routines. -I go to sleep early. It is a night bird. -Absolutely. But here's the good news: I'll never disturb Stacy's sleep, thanks to my patented Kemper-Pedic Me Time mattress, the only mattress that absorbs energy and doesn't transfer motion, even from inches away. Stacy will sleep soundly no matter what she's doing, whether it's rolling dice... ...adjusting change in my pajama pockets... ...exercising... ♪♪ ...making coffee using a French press. ...or even doing the worm. -With the Me Time mattress I sleep soundly, without those strange squeaks that used to wake me up. - I know.

What was that? -It's great. -You don't believe us? Try my famous Italian dinner test, where I put a glass of Chianti on one side of the bed and slap pizza dough on my lap on the other side. See? The wine does not spill no matter how much you hit it. I can pound that dough for six to eight minutes until I can't stand it anymore and I'm exhausted. Hey. Who's ready to eat? So if you and your spouse have your own routines, do yourself a favor and get a Kemper-Pedic Me Time mattress. Buy one today and get a special laptop screen that protects the glare of a laptop, so you can take it to bed at any time.

Kemper-Pedic Me Time mattress. Because you need some time for me. ♪♪ -I have children. And you know what that means: spills and lots of them. -Mother. - Uh oh. ♪♪ -Damn. -I spend a lot of time cleaning up messes, so I need something that is absorbent and affordable. So what am I looking for? A suit from José. A. Bank. With its innovative price buy 1 get 3 free, a suit from Jos. A. Bank is indeed cheaper than paper towels. And now they come in these easy-to-use dispensers. With 4 outfits for the price of a modest dinner, I can feel good about throwing them away when I'm done.

They're great for any job around the house, like removing pet stains... ...absorbing grease... ...even diapers for the little ones. Plus, they are great for starting a fire. It's so flammable. And we talk about absorbent. A regular paper towel disintegrates under the liquid. But a suit from José. A. Bank disintegrates without any liquid. The only downside: keeping my husband's suits in order. - Dad, that one has spaghetti! -José. A bank. Guaranteed Quantity. -Wow! Honey, how do you keep the house so clean? -A lady never tells it. -A woman's job is done better with GE Household Appliances. Times change and today women are the primary breadwinners in 50% of American

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s.

And that means that housework is a man's job. So give him the tools to get the job done right with GE's new Big Boy appliances, like the Big Boy dishwasher, which features a 70-pound steel door. -I would like to see a woman do that. -And, she hears her, she may have climbed the corporate ladder, but she'll need a real ladder to use the Big Boy washing machine, because that sucker is six feet tall. Dirty floors don't stand a chance against the Big Boy Sit-On Vacuum. That's 240 horsepower of pure

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torque, with a detachable stain remover that completely annihilates stains.

All GE Big Boy appliances have an Energy Star rating of F-minus because they run on gas. So this holiday season, be a man and ask his wife to buy you GE Big Boy appliances. -Wow. How could you leave it so clean here? -Ah, I'm sorry, baby. A boy never says it. -GE Big Boy appliances.