Ryan Gosling Monologue - SNL

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, RYAN GOSLING! THANK YOU! THANK YOU. IT'S... IT'S GREAT TO HOST SNL AGAIN. I'M HERE FOR MY NEW MOVIE, "THE FALL GUY" WITH EMILY BLUNT! SO DON'T WORRY. I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE JOKES ABOUT KEN. BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUN. KEN AND I HAD TO BREAK UP. WE CAME TOO DEEP. AND IT'S OVER. SO I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT. I'M REALLY GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT A LITTLE. I HAVE TO. BECAUSE... THANK YOU. You know when you play such a difficult character, for so long, just letting go feels like a breakup. AND TO PROCESS A BREAKUP, THERE'S REALLY ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN HELP, THE MUSIC OF THE GREAT TAYLOR SWIFT. ♪♪ ♪ I CRUSHED VENICE BEACH, IT'S TRUE, MY CLOTHES WERE TIGHT, BUT SOMETHING ABOUT THAT SPANDEX FELT SO GOOD ♪ ♪ I LEFT MY SKATES IN THAT BIG PINK HOUSE, BUT I STILL HAVE THAT FUR COAT, AND I'LL WEAR IT RIGHT NOW ♪ ♪♪ ♪ OH, THAT SWEET DEFINITION OF MY WASHBOARD ABS, INDIGO GIRLS SINGING IN THE CAR WITH BABS ♪ ♪ IF I SAID I WAS GOOD, YOU KNOW I'D BE LYING, BECAUSE I WAS JUST KEN, AND NOW I'M JUST RYAN ♪ NO NO NO NO.

HELLO, EMILY BLUNT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I'M PROMOTING OUR FILM. NO, YOU ARE NOT. WE HAD A COMPLETE GAME PLAN. IT WAS GOING TO BE EPIC. I WAS GOING TO HIT YOU WITH THINGS. INSTEAD OF SINGING ABOUT KEN, AGAIN. BUT IT'S NOT TOTALLY UNRELATED. I LISTEN TO THIS SONG ON "THE FALL GUY" WHILE THINKING ABOUT A BREAKUP. I'M DOING EXACTLY WHAT WE TALK ABOUT. DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT, RYAN? NO. YOU'RE KENNING RIGHT NOW, AND I HATE THAT IT'S EVEN A VERB. TAKE OFF YOUR COAT. YOU ARE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. COME ON. YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF.

GUYS, I DON'T WANT TO BE DIFFICULT, BUT, RYAN, YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING. IS THE TIME. I KNOW. I KNOW YOU'RE RIGHT. GOOD. I JUST CAN'T. ♪ BECAUSE HERE WE ARE AGAIN ON OUR TECHNICOLOR BEACH, I DIDN'T REALLY ASK HIM, HE WAS OUT OF REACH ♪ ♪ I WAS THERE, BEACH BLONDE HAIR, NOW IT'S TIME TO WISH GOODBYE TO KEN ♪ YES. THIS IS HOW IT'S GOING TO BE. WHAT THE HELL, EMILY! YOU WERE A STUNTER AND YOU COULD GET HIT. AND LOOK HOW GREAT IT WAS. GOOD? ACROBATIVE. THAT'S SO COOL. YOU KNOW WHO ELSE WOULD THINK IT'S COOL? ACQUAINTANCE.

KEN IS DEAD. ALRIGHT? KEN IS DEAD. BUT EMILY, YOU WERE IN "OPPENHEIMER" LAST SUMMER. YES. I MEAN, EXACTLY. I mean, I know it was an inferior movie, but. I MEAN, IT WAS NOT. WE LIKE TO WIN EVERYTHING, REALLY. BUT DID IT WON YOU THE HEARTS OF THE PEOPLE? I DO NOT THINK. BUT NEVER MISS IT? I MEAN -- ♪ FATHER OF THE ATOMIC BOMB AND A BOTTLE OF JACK, USED TO BE THE ALCOHOLIC WIFE OF A GUY IN THE HAT ♪ ♪ TALKING TO ALBERT EINSTEIN, DRINKING A MARGARITA WITH CHRISTOPHER NOLAN ON THAT GIDA'S BACK ♪ ♪ AND I MISS ALL MY KENS, AND I MISS KILLIAN MURPHY, AND YOU REALLY SHOULD SEE THE FALL GUY, BUT I CAN'T LOOK LIKE ♪ ♪ LET KEN GO, BECAUSE HERE WE ARE AGAIN IN 2023 WITH THE SUMMER OF BARBENHEIMER It Was JUST YOU AND ME ♪ ♪ DRUNK ON BEER, WITHOUT HAIR, NOW IS THE TIME TO GET GOODBYE TO EVERYTHING ♪ ♪ WE WERE KITTY AND KEN, AND I WISH YOU HAD SEEN US, YOU ARE FAITHFUL IN THE END, AND YOUR BOY DIDN'T HAVE A PENIS ♪ ♪ YOU MUST CONFESS, WE ARE A LESS TO IMPRESS, BUT IT'S TIME TO WISH KEN, KITTY, BOTH BYE ♪ GOODBYE MY SWEET PRINCE.

NO. WOW. OH LORD. IT CAME ON AGAIN. CHECK IT OUT. THAT'S CORRECT. BECAUSE KEN WILL NEVER DIE. TONIGHT WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU. CHRIS STAPLETON IS HERE. STAY. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. EMILIA BLUNT!