RPG, But The Players Are Terrible

Did I unsheath it too quickly? I mean, if you want, if you can, you know, you just know, oh my gosh, that's amazing, wait, what the hell, so cool, okay, now you have a bagette sword, a failed boat, would you like to go to the battle and I want to put my bagette directly into his heart with coins full of mouth wait noticing noticing that my sword is coin in my mouth noticing that my sword has been freshly toasted by his fireball that is going to kill him come on good job I hit the sandy I see the grittiness that makes and I retain post-traumatic stress disorder.

I wink at Pointcrow and say: I guess you better trust my plans in the future, hey, Paladin, you know what I've never doubted you in my life and I never intend to start now, well, you don't have the option. because you are still enslaved, yes, I say, I forbid you to question my plans again. I love my free will. I get down to pick up the cane. Okay, the staff can be used at any time to spawn a random enemy. Generate one. Do I know if? It's just that he's under my control, no, he's just there, okay, cool, I say, come on guys, let's go rescue FDD and I run south and we go further down, okay, no, FDD, no D, is he dead? ?

Yes, he is dead. I ran forward to retrieve the restart from him. card, okay, the wizard will attack you while you runOkay, by growing Doug, you will grow 50% in size, oh, I grow, okay, how does this help? They are random, fair enough, yes you get their reset card. Okay, I immediately cast a demon familiar to bring FDD back from the dead. I was going to put you in seven seven years of life, the little boy I'm very young but I'm like a huge baby now yes, I start to make a sand castle, okay, yes, I'm too immature to follow what's happening now.

I'm just working on the sandcastle, uh, failed ship, you're awake now. I'm sorry, my love, there are some things in this world that I cannot forgive, I draw my bow and shoot him in the heart with a true shot, true shot. he will always hit and that will remove three of the Hearts from him. You have one last chance. Please deliver a new Leaf Point Crow. You are up. I bask in the beautiful Glory that is Failboat love. I can't hurt the one you love and the one you care about. because you met him 5 minutes ago God, that's irrelevant wait, wait PO cro didn't meet him 5 minutes ago he was enslaved love at first sight I hear we've heard a lot about this in the last 5 minutes right and wrong I know the Centaur is in his deathbed but I refuse ah, there's a gold coin and I run straight north to put the gold coin in my mouth, okay, I think that brings him back to the then he's going to attack, uh, miss, let it all out, okay, uhoh, oh no, maybe that means spawning a random ally for us, oh, now it's stolen my entire flow.

Doug Doug, it's your turn. FDD runs towards the centaur and jumps to try to confront the goblin. out of minion fight 13 that's enough to kill him cute oh clean can he in the same turn jump on the centaur's back yeah why not failboat now it's your turn I see how it is if you want magic I'll give you magic your sand castle It's looking great right now, okay, okay and I summon an enemy above the head of the human section of the mage. Okay, you summon an enemy. This will determine how strong the enemy is. Well, I hope it's like a Rock Golem.

Yes I am. I hope they reach a terminal velocity of 20 feet it's not that high 20 feet it's like we live in a 2D world so it's like hitting PR hard he falls and lands on the guy we'll see how much damage that does. Is it close enough? We will say that they both die. Yes, Fortnite's default dance hits the gritty one. I walk towards the gold coin I face and plant it on it. the ground, uh, eating grass and mud to capture not only the gold coin but also everything around it, yeah, I forgot how young Doug was, wait, I thought I was six, I'm still seven, yeah, you are seven, oh, we.

I have tons of time, okay, we're good, yeah, now you have his wand that you can use to cast a random spell oh FDD, welcome back FDD, he curls back into his position, it was like you knew when you were stuck in a sofa for a long time. period of time and it shapes your butt like you have an FDD mark on your horse, oh I want to point out to Doug how beautiful Sandast is. I'm proud of you, Doug. I thank him and enslave him to. He's still working on the sandcastle as we head south, is he still a baby or is he still huge?

Yeah, what I want to say is hey, hey, Doug, thanks for letting me in charge of the sandcastle, it's the leaven I can make. I have like a boo spell, don't worry, I'm dealing with it, okay, I give in and say, okay, Point Crow, come on, let's go south, it's cool that the character enslaves means I'll only get the Point Crow character for the rest of the time. game, how about this? We'll see if Point Crow can break free with each role. You have to overcome a growth of 10 points, but can it be a disadvantage? Because he likes to be dominated.

Yeah, wait, wait, what is this real point? Raven, oh, oh, yes, yes, we still have it, oh, you guys came across this, an angel and a dragon fighting. I mean, you guys want to take the lead on this. I just had a whole moral Quan. I'm a little emotionally damaged right now, oh. I have absolutely no free will um, I settled down to take a nap, it's pretty late for me already, okay. Angel and dragon are going to fight as if they were under the control of, you know, Doug. I want to help him sleep by singing to him. some toast Malone, you know God, it's something we teach you, you know at the Council of Toast Wizards, you're playing with your last health right now, buddy, well, oh, I'm waiting, am I rolling because of how well I sing this? no, this is between the dragon and the angel, but it's clear that your God hates bad puns, so you take your chances every time that the dragon will be victorious in this one, come on Dragon, okay, the dragon will attack Doug, what's a Dragon except for a centaur with wings Lizard center with wings and a lizard head, yeah dude, these dragons suck.

I easily dodge the attack by going prone, okay, the dragon is going to sleep, so, uh, FDD approaches him, strokes his wing and sits down too. I'm going to take a nap, I'll walk over there too and give him a little pat on the stomach, no FDD, the dragon, okay, okay, we'll say the dragon is your friend, now, let him go, FDD gets on. his back and starts riding him oh hey fallboat how come you okay man if he experiments with another one and he still comes back to me that's how I know it's true if you really love him you gotta let him go hopefully next time hey and then I come over to Doug, I'm so sorry, I say, hey, ride Zen, shine, my, my, brother, can we take his last heart?

Yeah, that's right, I think he has to roll to survive that one. I'm willing to shoot for that. one, oh, no, no, roll, you know, yeah, well, roll, you have to roll to get it back, though, what's the DC above 10? oh, get there, get there, okay, bread-stricken God bread-stricken God, they used to call me Panera Paladin but now they'll refer to me as Casper the Friendly Toast oh my god oh oh dear god God is like that Jesus Christ oh God mine is fine, I groan at that pun but then I reluctantly take out my healing potion and drink it myself, okay?

I'll see how much that heals you, Doug, with your four wholeheartedly, well, maybe I can get extra HP, oh, what a bummer, God, I'm good at this good job, Doug, uh, we'll say that gives you a few years more, oh. Great, low, I slowly put Po Crow on my back and threw him into the lava to the left. Can I take it back? There is a coin behind him, pick up the coin, oh my god, it was on every screen, there was a coin. On every screen, my gold coins go with me, they were in my mouth, yeah, I mean, now they're in your corpse, oh, right, right, burning in lava, yeah, I get you, I get you, uh, but yeah, we will say what you are receiving. to be the dragon now okay, beautiful, I throw a slave creature to the dragon, okay, enslave the creature, come on, come on, oh my God.

Crow points out, you are now enslaved to Doug once again. I jump to point at Crow's back and summon Failboat to join in as well and say. let's get out of here I jump on the Dragon's back, hell yeah brothers let's be on our way oh but FDD is on the back of the failed ship okay I can't believe the real enemy of this campaign was him bread God, okay, I look up to the sky and I shout to the heavens pan God, you took Point Crow from us and now we will take you down and I tell pointcrow to fly us to the skies to attack the pan God I.

I fly to the heavens, I attack the pan God, luckily he had the slide ready the whole time, he definitely knew about the brown bread situation, oh the bread, God, we found it, hell yeah, bros, let's go get his ass. Shout, how dare you be an evil race! God takes away the pointcrow from us, wait, where are you getting to? off Sorry, wait, what's up dragon, hey, hey, Dragon, we're in a serious moment here, this is a critical platform, Red God, did you take our old friend? I've known this man for 2 minutes and you will. Ru, the day you took it from us and I became a failed ship.

I'm like the damn Dragon cares more about Pointcrow than we do, yeah that's actually crazy, okay I'm going to the bread God and say bread God. a chance before we engage in brutal combat, join us, join our group. I have n years left to live pan God, we could spend it together oh God, he ruins himself due to damage, okay, fail, it will be your turn first, I got up. my dead lover's wand and cast a spell, it's a bit over the top but okay, it seems a bit in one direction, ideally don't make it grow to 50%, yes, no, okay, I'll do what my lover can't and I will strike. with Fireball you're going to throw Fireball what we got baby what we got baby what we got Baby W absolutely huge wow that's going to miss this sucks uh I I I look up at a failed ship and I say a fireball like that let me show you how it's made and I cast Fireball.

Will this be the first fireball hit in this entire campaign? We'll see, well, that's all he can do. So, oh, okay, dragon 18, oh, that's just the sound of my fireball, okay, yeah, just. I want to, I wanted to tell you that you know you're welcome, uh Doug, it's your turn. I look at bread, God, and say: making bread puns, being such a hypocrite, only someone with a dark and icy heart could have that behavior that you don't deserve. I have such a heart and I cast teleport and teleport my entire body into his heart oh oh my God bursting into his internal organs and bursting from the inside we can see if as a two year old three that's a three year old excuse Me, no, no, I get in about halfway.

I like his gallbladder. Ah, you're going to get a little lost. Oh damn, but you will land next to the gold coin. No, I pick her up and yell at the other kids we have. the loot, let's fail, the plane is working, the plan keeps working for no particular reason, he seems to hate this Dragon right now for no other reason, oh, that one is going to fail, he's going to throw another one at the failed ship, oh damn eh, wait what. he's the god of bread oh oh, he doesn't really know, uh, it's okay, you're awake, got it, I take my arrow and I shoot it straight into his heart hoping to burst it where Doug couldn't, oh my god, this is it. the least climactic. battle, we're like shooting fire into the sky, collecting coins, just dropping a sentence, nothing hits, now it's Doug's turn, um, to the dungeon master, what happens if I use a spell that costs more than the amount of life that I have left, does it die?

I say FDD, you're always the best of us, you live, you live in my name, I hate you buddy, carry on for me, do the brave thing, I'll be watching you and flossing from heaven, but I don't even listen to you 'cause I jump and me I hold on to the bread, let's go and then I throw a black hole on my shelf. There is no dog, dog, no, this is lost. What if you miss him? I just died. 12 12 that has to work. Years away. 17 that will kill Doug Doug and the god of bread. Let's go and as I'm walking away towards the black hole, FDD hears me say, hit the sand, he speaks.

The teacher is dead. The teacher is dead. It wasn't a typo. F, okay, okay, I bend down carefully and put FTD on my back, wait, wait, wait. just just uh just fill oh my bad this the other one wait no no no no no no this is no this makes the dragon now climb on the back of the failed ship this seems more suggestive than I would have liked let's go find you a centaur and you Fly, it looks like you need another video to watch, but don't worry, I have to click on this one with my nose.