Rodney Dangerfield Carson Tonight Show 2/9-1974"},"lengthSeconds":"780","ownerProfileUrl":"http://ww

playing that crazy character are you still afraid of flying? that he used to be one of your used to be afraid of flying right? Oh, I used to do it but now I don't fly everywhere anymore, how did you get over it? because we've had a lot of people on the

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who said they just absolutely couldn't break that it was a phobia, that it was a phobia, right, yeah, well, it started with Bob Hope when I was on tour with him. uh oh we had a lot of crises and I think Jimmy remembers them Jimmy Zito uh but um now I fly everywhere because I decided that you know, if you want to go somewhere you have to fly or take the bus and it's a little long so you just said that you said yourself forget it I'm not going to be afraid anymore yes and now I love it oh that's great I really enjoy it do you have any other phobias any unnatural things that drive you crazy no one mine is an excessive fear of Rodney Dangerfield, that's one of my phobias Great transition to bring him here.

He is a strange man. It's one of New York's finest restaurant tours. He is a true creator of fashion. success of his nightclub he at Dangerfields still gets no respect would you welcome him please Mr. Rodney Dangerfield, what a crowd, what a crow, beautiful, beautiful, and I tell you, I tell you

tonight

is

tonight

, it is Nice, we have a crowd of adults too, you know, yeah? I did a

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last week for a group of teenagers and these kids continue today, you can't tell the boys from the girls, I mean the girls above, us guys let our hair grow long.

I was talking to someone who you asked, look at that teenager, look at that. a boy or a girl said that's a boy that's my son I said sure you knew you're his father he said I'm not his father I'm his mother I don't know how to tell you that life is not easy after a while I no longer know who to believe well The other day I was at my bank they put signs everywhere in this bank you have a friend last month there were two late payments my friend took my car I'll tell you with me nothing is easy nothing you know well last week I saw My dentist is not a beauty.

My dentist, I said, can you give me a new tooth that matches my other teeth? he put a tooth with four cavities I tell you last week was a difficult week for me last week I also broke up with my psychiatrist last week for the first time I told him I was suicidal he told me from now on I have to pay in advance The first time I saw a psychiatrist I felt like two cents a kid I said D can you help me all day? He thought I was ugly and he made me lie on a couch face down.

I tell you that when I was a child he had no respect, no respect, you know the time he was lost on a beach and a police officer made me look for my parents. I told the policeman. I think we will find it. He said I don't know. There are so many places he could hide from me as a child. My old man. He didn't help either, you know, the time I asked my old man if he could go ice skating on a lake. He told me to wait until it was warmer. I tell you, sometimes I can't take it anymore.

Today I have two children. and that's hard too, you know you can't talk to the kids today my son's birthday last week there was a small party, they brought the cake, the boy blew out all the candles, I told him, I hope your wish comes true, He said, if so, that's the last time you'll see me blow out candles, smart boy, I got it, you know, the last time I took my son to Cony, I asked him if you wanted to go to a crazy house and he He said to save my money. We will be at home. soon here we will go out with a couple of blondes, yes, it's good to see you, it's been a long time.

I always enjoy coming here, you get treated here, a place where they turn up, you know, I leave, I leave a club. I'm closing this week at a club in New York, but I'll be back next Monday. I close everything for a week. I'll be back next Monday night, September 9, until my jokes are going to be dangerous, but it's always a I love coming here. You know, I also like to go to Las Vegas. You know, I'm going to Las Vegas for a couple of days. I always go there. You meet so many wonderful people in Las Vegas.

You have no idea. Can you tell us about some of them? The last time I was there I met a lovely girl. Oh, a lovely girl. Valerie Dubois. Valerie du. Oh, lovely girl. Valerie Duah. In fact, she told me to call her VD. Valerie sure was a wonderful person. in Las Vegas, nice, oh, Vegas, there really is change, they have gambling, there, the big hotels and nightclubs, that's what the big nightclubs have there, just, is it really that different from the places where work when I started? You know, the tough places, the small joints, right, oh? tough place you know places like the Rosario rocket room you know the Rosario rocket room tough tough Dominic's Atomic Bar and Grill that was another one oh Dominic was tough he was tough do it tough during the show he used to yell at the ax all the time when it was night boy was singing why was he born not to sing and that's a real Heckler Dominic bad news yeah I tell you show you gotta brake you gotta brake Johnny wouldn't guess so I never really had the brakes as a kid, I never braked either, This has been following you your whole life, you mean I was tough when I was a kid, yeah I was a kid the first time they took my picture, the pony threw another one at me, I should have you.

You have to try it outside the city, right, you can't bring it, take it to a road, take it to a road, you have to break it, have the feeling that you wasted your whole life, I don't know, it's not easy, I don't have it. I respect the day I was born I really don't respect the doctor picked me up and hit me. I found out that no, she put some in you because we have to take a break here, but then we'll come back and find. Find out how your health is because I always get so much that I feel like I'm doing a magic act here after this message of interest that you just found at the lake tonight.

My guest is Miss Doris Day Carol Wayne and we're just. Listening to the trials and tribulations of Mr. Rodney Dangerfield when he was young I sometimes think you're fooling me, but you come from a pretty bad place, oh, I had a pretty bad past, I was a lonely kid too, Johnny, oh, lonely, even in a park I had no friends I really remember the seesaw I had to keep running from one end to the other that's that's that's lonely that's sad I grew up I was lonely too and I grew up I couldn't get dates with girls girls didn't have problems with girls look a guy with looks, it's all looks, you know, but there are more important things, it's underneath what counts.

The depth of the soul, that is what is important in appearance, how many times do you take a walk down the street and see a tall and handsome man walking arm and arm with a short, fat and ugly girl, I never saw that, you never saw That, you never saw that, I thought he probably had no soul or depth, nothing but appearances mean nothing, man, I have a niece, an ugly girl he married. she is happy she is an ugly guy right and today they have two very ugly children ugly children yes in fact they are all so ugly in a family album they only keep the negatives I tell you what is most important appearance is love you have to have love love is I have a lot of love in me Johnny a lot I love a lot of things I love sports I love music and one of my children How many children do you have?

I have two children I love my children My children of course, but our boy gives me a problem L is really that age now he copies everything you see something he copies you know just imitates everything yeah that's why we got rid of the dog okay oh They are very impressionable at that age, if you kill your feelings, your child is standing there. with one leg up yeah I know what you mean of course not but we're dogs I'm just kidding that's all you know how's your health? are you OK? are you in good health? health very well doing good there is no love in the house that It hurts me There is no love in the house Excuse me, we were not ready to go to H yet.

I'm sure there is no love in the house. You know my wife is the easiest place to get along. You know that oh my wife, your kidneys. I can tell you stories about my wife sometime, yes, or have a few drinks sometime. I'll start to really talk when I drink, I talk, you know, my wife is a cold person, Johnny, I'm sorry, her side of the waterbed is frozen. very cold I never had love when I was a child, neither did my brother receive love not because he was much tidier than me my room was messy but I didn't care that my brother's room was in order his towel was well aligned Combs brushes H O is in the right place, what does it mean?

What is he today? He is an attendant in the men's room. It means it's embarrassing to have your brother. He works in a men's bathroom b. People say: Hey Rodney, what could your brother say? Don't know. what to say, I tell him it's a business for himself, you know, yes, that's good, they say you work in a business, a big business, well, I'll put it this way, if you closed tomorrow a lot of people would suffer, that's true , that's true. But the thing is that you want to be happy, do the work you like, that's what you have to do to work the way you like, that's important, do the work you like, and my doctor, Dr.

Vin Bomach, how is he? what is the doctor like? The important thing is to never take your work home. They take their work home with them right there. A guy in my name with a traffic cop. A traffic police officer for 20 years. Johnny can't forget that he is a traffic cop. He takes his work home. he's ridiculous he makes love to his wife he tells her to stop yes, that's that, that's bad, that's bad, I understand what you mean, it's a very bad idea, but as long as you're healthy, I guess that's what Most importantly, you know, Johnny, health.

I mean, you mentioned before with tennis, you mean you have to leave tennis for a while, but tennis is very good when you get back to fitness. Playing tennis is very good. I don't play tennis. I can't play tennis. the tennis guy, you know, tennis, you have to be rich and come from Connecticut, you know, hey, we'll take daddy's car, that's Deuce, you know, I can't, right? But tennis is good, that's how you lose weight, you know? When you burn energy, you lose calories that way. All the doctors say that all types of exercise are great.

You burn energy. You lose calories. I mean, in fact, doctors say that when a man makes love to a woman, he burns energy and loses 150 calories. m L a girl once lost even more I lost 150 calories my watch and my wife but you have to eat the right food F fish is very good fish fish is important John very good I know myself I love seafood I don't like restaurants about seafood, oh really, nothing original, you don't have the same sign, you know the fish you eat today slept last night in some bay, I say when I go fishing, I'm only interested in how it's prepared, I don't care where the fish slept, if it slept, who it slept with, no. there is a difference in fact I think a fish will taste much better if it is morally bad that's how I think Andoral fish is probably better the fish is very good I don't like classy restaurants those classy seafood restaurants you order a lobster before Cook it why do I have to show it to you and I once went out with a girl and I was trying to impress her.

I like this girl too John. I took her to a nice place. Had a few relaxing drinks it was beautiful, you know, trying to impress the girl, nice, romantic, it was beautiful, no wine, you know, these two are fine, when the lobster came, she was really finished. I was a little impressed with the girl, how manly she was, you know, I sat in a manly position I looked at her very manly and then the waiter put a bib on me I don't like class re you don't like class re I like to eat in house to house I have to worry about a tie and a jacket nothing you want something else there is no big production but I waited I open the refrigerator I see what is around right I have an Ator refrigerator at home it is I can't forget it it is very misleading my refrigerator is always full there's nothing to eat we have things in our refrigerator like uh half a bottle of flat soda a cup with a broken egg in it this broken black has been lying there for four months waiting for someone to roll over we have a bottle of ketchup that we use later We have another bottle of ketchup, it's almost empty, it's a banana for you and a half, and there's one more thing in our refrigerator, a big pot takes up an entire shelf, and the only thing in this big pot is a hair for boiled potatoes, I just said, and with my wife you know since I'm married at every meal I do the same finish it I'm just going to throw it away somehow I have the feeling that she only makes me eat what she's going to throw away that bothers my wife a lot the way she serves the food Serves terribly wrong I mean, you put a steak, how do you forget the plate?

There's a big crowd out there, oh, big crowd tonight, beautiful audience, and we're right.