Respecting Your Man | Sermon by Tony Evans

God established the family as you know and established guidelines for that covenant and marriage is called a covenant, it is called a binding relationship between a man and a woman that is a relationship until death do them part, that is the only reason why God even allowed divorce. under certain limited and more restricted scenarios it is because of the sinfulness of men according to Deuteronomy 24 compared to Matthew 19 the sinfulness of men God had to find a way to protect men and women from each other, but God's idea of relationships is that there would be no divorce except under the restricted scenarios of adultery and/or desertion, which those would be the only two categories I want to focus on in the covenants is the concept of hierarchy when God wanted to make sure his rules were operating. in history instead of him establishing a chain of command a chain of command that chain of command is listed for us and I will read it to you in 1 Corinthians chapter 11 where it says verse 3 I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man the man It is the head of a woman and Christ is the head of God now that is in the text that is what the Bible says that there is a chain of command in history and that chain of command is also in eternity for example God is the head of Christ now Christ is equal to God in essence but Christ is not equal to God in function and a fundamental difference that you and I understand is that there is a difference between function and essence essence we are all equal function we are all not equal there must be different functions if a job is to be done now you see this in

your

job in

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job there is an owner and then there is a CEO, the person who manages it and then there is the mid-level management and then there is the more generic staff now yes everyone CEO the work is not done but if there is no CEO then the work is not directed if there is no owner there is no business so that no one is employed at each of those levels is an essential part of doing a job and unless there is a chain of command then everything is at stake now let me explain before I go into details the purpose of the chain of command the purpose of the chain of command is to fulfill the wishes of the owner the reality is when you are the owner, you can do whatever you want because it is yours, okay, no one else can come into my house and tell me how to furnish it, they can tell me what they think about how I furnished it, but they have no authority in terms of essence from the mouth of our company because it is my house which property certain rights come while God is owner the earth is the Lord's and its fullness the world and all who live in it he is the owner and, frankly, he is not asking for advice, therefore, he says and whose advice has the Lord seen and whose advice did he think then the Lord is not really asking for advice, you can give it to him if you want, but I just want you to know that he is not looking for advice because he knows how he wants his world to work and that is why what God has done is establish institutions designed to carry out his program. and each institution has a hierarchy, the first institution is the family and the hierarchy is husband, wife, children, the three are the same in essence, but all three are different and the church has a function and in the church it has a hierarchy it has a system it has elders have deacons have a teacher all of that is designed to ensure that God's plan in history is fulfilled and then the government says the Bible pray for the Kings and in Romans 13 it says that because they are the ministers of God, the work of the government is to carry out justice in society, all based on hierarchy, but our concern is the home, we have already established that the husband is the chief executive, he is the one who must ensure that the wishes of the owners are met. carried out in the oldest institution called the family, that is your job, if you fail in that job, you have done great damage to the cause of Christ, while you do not excuse men for not being men that is a man cannot look at your wife and say for her I can't be a man because masculinity is not related to how another person treats you, it is related to who you are because of God's creation, we must take a step and say that many women make It is extremely difficult for men to easily assume the responsibility that God has given them.

As you see, we live in a world, ladies, where more and more men in general and minority men in particular are beaten daily by an unjust society, but in the Bible nothing was understood. No matter what happened in society at large when he got home, it was a different story when the man walked through the door there was a place where everyone knew who he was there was a place where there was no confusion or lack of clarity that there was one kingdom the man could lead and be recognized as a leader and that was his home in the Bible the concept is called patriarch and the patriarch was a man who led the home and all the people under the home in such a way that everyone in the home revered his role , which led to the concept of respect.

There is no command in the Bible for a woman to love her husband. She does not exist. There are verses in the Bible that talk about women loving their husbands, but there is no commandment for a woman. love your husbands but there are many commandments for a warrior husband to love your wife now there is a reason for that a man's greatest need is not love now all men need love but that is not their greatest need a man's greatest need It's reverence You may not like it because there is little silence here, you may not want that, but I'm sorry, that's just the way it is.

Men go to great lengths to be revered, they don't necessarily go to great lengths to be loved, but they do go to great lengths to be revered. to be revered when they then put notches on their perennial belts for all the women they have conquered is a desire to be revered is the desire to appear lord. super stud who has this ability to conquer all these women, it is a self attempt to inflate one's own ego, although most of those stories are lives, they are attempts to embellish a God given need for Dominion when men tell their wives yes. you think you're talking when they're angry or maybe when they're not, it's because they're not

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me and I don't know how many men I've talked to who say this, women usually say my my husband doesn't love me in general, that's how it comes and that's how I was created to come, but men usually don't say that men usually say that my wife doesn't respect me because a man's God-given need is not primarily for love a man's need is reverence now some of You guys are already mad and I haven't even gotten to the verse because your attitude is I'm not bowing down to any man okay but you don't want that same response if he If I said I don't love any woman I see in a very mutual gathering of needs, so let's look at Peter three first before I get into any more trouble and so you know that God is speaking here in the same way as your wives and your Of course, if you are not married, you need to develop a mindset for marriage with this in mind: be submissive to your own husbands, so that even if any of them disobey the word, they are not living as they should live, they may be one without saying a word because of their wives behavior thank you sister i need help now When the text opens in the same way that means it is talking about something that happened before and at the end of chapter 2 what you find is that Jesus Christ suffered unjustly verse 22 who committed no sin nor was deceit found in his mouth and while he was reviled did not respond by reviling while he suffered he did not utter threats but continued to entrust himself to the one who judges justly and he himself bore our sins in his own body on the cross so that we might die to sin and live to justice because by his stripes you were healed because you were continually you have gone astray like sheep but now you have returned to the Shepherd and guardian of your soul in the same way the comparison with wise man in chapter 3 is drawn from the illustration of Christ in chapter 2 and in chapter 2 it says that Jesus did nothing wrong, he was God's ideal spokesman, but he was nailed to the cross regardless. fact that he was treated unjustly despite that fact he was treated miserably, but instead of arguing his point, which would have been a legitimate argument, it means he says he trusted himself into the hands of the one who would do what was right and then the Bible says that although you were straying, you have now returned to the Shepherd and Bishop of your soul, in other words, you are in this building today because God has taken hold of you and you have begun to respond appropriately to Christ on some level in the same way he was submissive.

For their own husbands, there are now two concepts that create an immediate problem. The first concept is the concept of submission, but before you judge it, understand it. The concept of submission is not a concept of being a doormat or a floor rag, it is not. say let your husband beat you that is not the concept of biblical submission let me give you the concept of submission submission means to voluntarily place yourself under the authority of another in accordance with the ultimate responsibility you have for christ so submission means to place oneself under part of the authority, but submission has limits, in other words, you are submitted to the Lord first, our Asians v says to submit to your husband as to the Lord, so submission is to your husband, but the husband has limitations, you must be like the Lord.

That is to say, you do not submit to anything that forces you to disobey God just because your husband wants you to do so, but on the other hand, you do submit to everything that is not contradictory to what it is convenient to obey the Lord if I often say stealing. a bank, you say no, you say no because that would not be in agreement with the Lord, then the criterion of submission is the agreement with God, but the responsibility apart from that is integral now he says submission to the things of your own husband, assuming that you are married and By the way, single women have just seen some advice, so clarify so as not to spend 50 years of a frustrated life.

Don't marry someone you don't feel you can submit to. If you are a strong woman, then get married. a stronger man is fine because it is a miserable combination if you are stronger than your husband it is fine because he will be frustrated because he is too weak to lead you but you will be frustrated because you will have to lead him so that they It is going to be a perpetual fight so That, depending on your temperament, always marry someone you can admire, not only physiologically but also attitudinally and mentally. Now, if you are already married, it is too late.

Okay, you can't change your husband because he is weaker than you have to do. What you need to do is learn to shore up your weaknesses and turn them into strengths and establish some of your strengths to shore up your weaknesses. Now some of you continue to tell your own husbands that that means no one else's husband is a declaration of possession. You must submit, place yourself under the authority of your husband now, if your attitude, lady, is: I am NOT placing myself under any man, you must remain single. I mean, you have that right as a single woman, but you don't have that right as a married woman.

I don't have that right to get married, aha, okay, to put it another way, some ladies, many ladies, and this is the danger of working wives, there is nothing wrong with working wisely, but you must understand when I went over proverbs 31 , the great danger of working wisely. It's that they end up showing more respect for the boss who is married to another woman than for her husband because now the boss controls the money. I know a lot of you ladies don't like your male bosses, you don't like the way they treat you, you don't like the way they talk to you, you don't like the way they throw work at you, you don't like them.

He doesn't like any of that, but when they show up, he's still Mr. so and so is still treated with a modicum of dignity now why are they treating him that way? They don't treat him that way because he has earned it, it's quite the opposite, they treat him that way because of his position. I move on to the next line even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they can be won without a word by the behavior of their wives there's a lot there and I'm halfway through I'm serving and still in verse one but there's a lot here let me talk about it for a moment the issue of respect has nothing to do altum Utley with the success or failure of your husband in his job that you must understand that you are

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him for his position there are many people you don't like who you should respect there are a lot of police officers that you may not like but you better respect them when you walk into the courtroom you don't have to like the judge but you better respect them say the wrong thing and you will be slapped in contempt of court because sitting behind On that bench there is not only a man but a man with a rope attached who occupies a position and what you respect, even if you don't like the person, is the position, as long as they occupy that position now don't get me wrong the judge doesn't it is better than you the police is not better than you your boss is not better than you you do not respect them out of bitterness you respect them out of position and that distinction there are many people in life that you do not like who you should respect and your husband should be the main amongthem this is not an option, the Bible says that even if he is not fulfilling his full responsibility, you are obligated unless he makes you do something against Christ to recognize his position and not disrespect him and the greatest way in which women disrespect their men it's with their tongue, it's not what you say and how you say what you say to the man in your life that is the illustration of your respect and when you talk to someone in society that you don't like but that you must respect, you control yourself, try to curse the local judge and see where it takes you when the policeman you don't like stops you and you feel that he has been unfair, use bad words against him and get out of the ticket that way you will find that that It doesn't work because that is not to be tolerated or take your children mothers I suppose you give your children instructions that they don't like and they get up and say well, no I don't care what you tell me I'm not going to do it We have a problem in our hands We certainly do because even if you were wrong and what you said to your children they should respect your position as a mother, am I right?

Well, they are the same way those you don't like are expected to respect you or receive respect from you. The Bible teaches that you should always recognize your husband's position, even if you disagree with your husband's point of view. He says, even if they are disobedient, see that even if there is, it doesn't mean just agreeing with that point, you have to make that distinction, you may not agree with the point, but he says that the way the You want it without saying a word, let's talk. about this phrase without a word or you start getting into it now eh, without a word doesn't mean talking less Ness, doesn't mean you never say anything that's not the concept of the phrase without a word what other word has the connotation of scolding, that's the concept of without a negative word, not now ladies, let's think about practically how long have you been nagging your husband about things that in your marriage, since the day you got married, right years, you've been nagging him and he's still nagging you. does.

The same things, okay, you should be thinking about it by now. You need a new strategy. Well, you should think about yourself now. Why doesn't the man respond to your complaints? There's a reason he doesn't respond to that, because you tell him what to do. You're telling him what to do and he rebels because what you've done has deflated his God-given ego. I mean, I hear a lot of women say, "I'm tired of dieting." If you have to do that, don't raise your hand since I'm tired of feeding his ego because it's better that you go to sleep and get up again because that is a divine requirement in the same way that he shouldn't get tired of loving.

You should not get tired of respecting him because just as you need affection he needs that reinforcement an acclamation of respect continues saying that the way you win them is without a word by behavior to put it another way what you will do go beyond what they You say, okay, so if you're bothering him and you still don't do anything, you just gave him double trouble. Now where I go from here is going to be deep. I haven't even gotten to the deep end yet. I'm still on the road. light things, but remember this is God speaking, okay, so if you get angry, get angry at God while they verses observe your chaste and respectful behavior, see that you are chaste, the concept of your gentle and respectful behavior now in some cultures they make their women.

Do this to make sure it's done. They force them to do it right through physical force or having some repercussions if they don't. In certain cultures, to show respect, they have to walk behind their husbands, you know, and in certain cultures. You know, when husbands talk, they don't dare to speak. One of our employees was in Egypt once and her wife prepared the meal and he complimented her on it, she said it was a tremendous meal and they took him outside of her and warned him not to do it. Are you ever going to do that again because the way we keep these ladies in position is by letting them know that they're doing what they're supposed to do, so now you really don't have it so bad, ladies?

Well, I won't go into that, but it says that they are to observe, that is, to respect, it is to visibly demonstrate that I hold you in the highest esteem for your position that I recognize that you are the hierarchical leader appointed by God in this home now if you are the boss in your job licences that at your job if you are the supervisor at your job supervise your work don't bring that mess home okay, don't bring it home because you have a problem I'm going to tell you that you have a problem because most men a Unless they're very, very passive, they don't want supervisors as wives, okay, so once the supervisors look, now I know what some of you ladies are thinking, you're sitting there thinking, well, what you should do, preacher, it's telling these men to be men, so we want to do it right, well, I did it two weeks ago, now I'm telling you to do it because you're supposed to do it right, that's a responsibility, it's something that God gives you. has given to make three in marriage and let it not be your adornment, well, God is really hindering us, your style here be merely external, braiding your hair, wearing golden swear and wearing dresses, but rather it be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit that is precious in the sight of God, do not let your adornments be merely external, now you ladies look good, it is well, and I know the reason you look Well it's because they make a big investment in looking good, but they make a big investment of time in looking good. the biggest investment is in the shopping area, the second name is shopping, okay, you know, I try to be a good husband, sometimes I go buy what my wife wants and I don't want the big things that I enjoy doing because that It means hours and hours and hours of going through things to tell me why it doesn't look good and it just doesn't turn me on much, but I have to apply these

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s, so I go sometimes, but there is a significant investment and you know you have heard about it. the way you ladies pay attention to mirrors, the world to you is one big mirror, you know, it's the mirror at home, there's a mirror in the car, now you put them on the driver's side in case of being driven, then on the passenger side. you understand your path the first thing you have to do is powder your nose look in the mirror again and you don't even need a mirror ten that shines is enough as long as it reflects the why because God knows our lady is very aware of our public presence and beauty and God does not condemn that is acceptable before God men, you should be looking for a beautiful woman, it's okay, there is nothing wrong with that and, ladies, you should be as attractive as possible, in other words, if you are single, It shouldn't be because you didn't take care of yourself and you didn't look good and you weren't appealing that badly with it, but God has a big problem if there is so much emphasis on the external being fixed. for your audience and not getting ready on the inside for your Lord God has a big problem with that God has a problem with you spending hours and hours on clothes in any store you shop at, spending hours and hours on clothes but not being willing to go through hours and hours of strategy of being the woman of God at home he has a problem with that there is a problem with that he says to be the hidden man of the heart what he is talking about is showing you construct that you are inside that you follow God's plan in your home exalting your husband to the position of leader in which God has placed him now some men are passive not by choice but by circumstances they were raised without a father they were raised with the dominant and dictatorial mother that's all what they know so you go ahead before being so passive but that's all they know and if you think this generation is a bad burden on our children, get married when we have 70% of our children who have been dating without a father, We have a whole generation. of women who are looking for Mr. right, royalberry or we'll have to apply this to your honeymoon to get this started early because we have a lot of young men who are being hit by circumstances that they have absolutely no control over, which means if you're ever going to become the man . for what he was created for, you will have to become the type of woman who raises him to the level where God recognizes him.

That is what it means. It does wonders for a man to listen to his wife. I'm very happy to be able to do it. tell my friends you are my man it does wonders for a man to hear from his wife it's amazing being married to you it does wonders for a man to hear from his wife darling please leave me I'm dying to follow you all right now I can tell most of you don't they've been using this here, it does wonders for a man when you ask him first before you go ahead and buy it and say honey, if that's okay with you, I'd sure like to have this, but I thought.

First I need to ask you to make sure that he agrees with the direction that you're taking our house now let me tell you let me tell you let me tell you why they are works that work because that sounds so good to him. I'll want you to come back with that again, so you'll probably get a yes, it's because of your behavior, the way you respect him in words and deeds, not by scolding him, when you're going to go up and become a man, I mean you . live the way some of the wives talk element you are a repentant brother you know it well I sure wish I were married to a man you know those kinds of statements you see that it is a lack of respect for God's hierarchical frame of reference there is no way avoid it The Bible says this is not new verse five four this way in times past the holy women also who hoped in God adorned themselves by being submissive to their own husbands now please get the key here the women did not try to change the husband who waited on God look if you disrespect your husband you are working against God and if you are working against God no matter how much you pray you will not get God's help to change your husband if you wait on God that means you must obey God, You can't.

I hope to God you do what your friends do. One of our problems is that we talk to too many friends and watch too many soap operas. Well, that's one of the problems. Well, I mean, some of us think we're Alexis or something. called to run the show here and you notice that she can't stay with her husband either, so the idea here is that there is a commitment to having God on your side and the way you can have God on your side is by obeying His particular instructions since the old women were like this they themselves were doing it not only were they beautiful externally they were beautiful internally their husbands her whoo she is beautiful because of her character and then he illustrates it that is Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord ladies let's read that together verse 6 first line let's go like this Sarah obeyed Abraham calling him Lord what did she call him she was calling turn to your husband and calling him right now a snob now the word no now he says these women from the Old Testament must be the New Testament illustrations the word Lord means teacher that It is what it means it means nothing says Abraham was called by Sarah Lord and you have become her children if you do the right thing without being afraid of anything now see that some of you return to call the Lord of your husband it scares you it scares you what you call Lord call him Lord and call no man Lord well let's see where Abraham Sara called Abraham Lord Genesis chapter 18 yes, the Bibles are changing because I know some of you inside yes, there has to be another interpretation for Genesis chapter 18 verse 11 let's look at verse 9 then they told him where is Sarah your wife and he said behold in the tent and he said I will surely return to you at this time next year and behold Sarah your wife will have a His son and Sarah were listening in the door of the tent that was behind him now Abraham and Sarah were old men of advanced years Sarah could no longer have children and Sarah laughed to herself saying that when I am old I will have pleasure that my lord is also old and the Lord Abraham said, why did Sarah laugh saying, Indeed, I will have a son when I am so old.

It is something too difficult for the Lord. There are many things there. God said Abraham, your wife, only she is going to have a baby. Sara hears that and says what. that's impossible, I can't have a baby at 90 years old and then she says: will I have pleasure again with my lord? In other words, she was saying that not only can I not have a baby, but I can't even do the that you need to have a baby, so in the context of her calling Abraham my lord my teacher, it's in a context of an impossible situation, am I right? some of you ladies are married to impossible men, some of you ladies are married which means no Anyway I'm not saying you can change some of you ladies are married.

I mean, you don't see any hope for some of you who are married in impossible situations, but Sarah called Abraham Lord and believed that God would answer even though it sounded impossible at first. to him and as a result the Bible says that a year later Isaac comes through an impossible situation. I'm saying that God himself can take whatYou consider that mess of a man and turn it around, but you have to say my lord, you have already done it. You have to step up to the plate and play your role and make sure you have done everything humanly possible to honor the Lord before the Lord does everything he can to perform a miracle in your family.

Don't ask God why he has done it. I haven't changed you man, if you haven't changed your role, don't ask God why he hasn't turned you around, man, if you ever respected his leadership, some of you ladies need to go and say today, honey, I I apologize, I have not let my disagreements with you turn into lack of respect for you and because of the lack of respect for you I have made a mistake and I want to begin today to recognize your leadership in this home my lord that is what matters to me that is what I and failing to do that means you are not Sarah, you say what I was left without daughter Sarah, so you will not receive the miracle that Sarah got, that is what it means that Sarah got a miracle, it was an impossible situation, but she got a miracle, why?

Because she did it. God's way, that's why that's what I'm saying. I'm saying that while we have a concern about male leadership in our culture, one of the biggest contributors to it being as bad as it is is the fact that women don't honor their husbands.