Reimagining masculinity; my journey as a male sexual assault survivor | Landon Wilcock | TEDxQueensU

Traditional gender roles can free men from the limitations of

masculinity

. Challenging one's identity or

masculinity

means stripping it and then rebuilding it in a healthy and constructive way. You can be a man who cries. You could be a guy who has never played any sport in his life. You could even be a man who was raped. Only when I questioned this identity and the principles I had learned, did I begin to heal. Recently I have been able to begin to reconstruct my own identity, this time not based on these traditionally masculine traits, but on those that I believe make up my own identity as a man.

These now contain confidence, passion, honesty, loyalty, kindness and perseverance. Let's work hard to understand how social norms, such as traditional notions of masculinity, can prevent

survivor

s from seeking help. Once we understand these issues, let us work together to challenge them as dominant ways of thinking, so that we can achieve a society that does not pressure the most vulnerable, but rather strengthens them. Today I ask you to join me in reshaping the way we approach

sexual

violence, against any and all genders, and challenge our ideas of masculinity. To do this, we must consider how we interact with the men in our lives.

By making these small changes to the way we treat the men in our lives, we can begin to shape a new society, one where no one is left holding their own pieces. To do this, we must resist phrases like “Man up!” and "Be a man!" When the men in our lives show weakness, we tell our sons, brothers, and friends that showing emotions is healthy, that sensitivity is toughness, and that weakness is strength. Thank you all. (Applause) (Cheers)