Red, White & Greenland: Stephen Cold-Bear is Lost in Space Force

Stephen Lewis, you know like I, I don't know if you remember, yeah, but as I mentioned yesterday on the show, I recently had the opportunity to work with Uso, the nonprofit charity that helped support service members and their families earlier this year. One more year I told them I wanted to help, so they sent me to Thule Air Base, which is located at the northern tip of Greenland, 750 miles above the Arctic Circle, because apparently they thought I would be most helpful as far away as possible. of Humanity. It's absolutely fascinating up there. Thule is now under command of the newest branch of the military, the US Space Force, and I wanted to learn about their mission on top of the world, so I headed north to meet with Chief Master Sergeant Roger , a toberman.

Join me now for the multi-part adventure we call The Late Show Presents Red, White and Greenland Stephen Colbert is

lost

in the Space Force. I traveled far above the Arctic Circle to Thule Greenland as I traveled through the stunningly desolate landscape 2,500 miles away. At home I couldn't help but think that walking was a bad choice. I finally met the Chief Master Sergeant of the Space Force, hey Chief Toberman there you are, hey thank you very much yes sir how are you meeting me? Somewhere, I know you. the title is Chief Master Sergeant of the United States Space Force Roger Toberman, but in the interest of time, would it be okay if I just called him Chief Master Sergeant of the United States Space Force Roger Toberman?

When did the concept of Space Force begin? 2001 the Rumsfeld commission recommended that the Department of Defense consider creating a

space

force

until 2001 was literally the beginning of your

space

odyssey. Do you have an Anna to deal with? The ending means no, what the hell is going on with that space baby? Do you have a space baby? No, no, could you tell me if you had a giant space baby? It's probably not right. What is the significance of Thule Air Base? Why up here obviously made a lot of sense during the Cold War, but there are no more tensions with Russia at the moment.

I think there are still some tensions, I certainly don't follow the news, which I don't know, we still have an important mission to look at the North and this. it's the northernmost base we have so you get a great location anywhere in the world this is as far north as you are as the army has a base yes it is which is interesting from a perspective space is that the same technology that we use to detect early missile warnings, we can also see objects in space, so we can use them for spatial awareness as well and therefore we are uniquely located here how much warning would you receive if Would there be enough of a missile launch to, um, just panic or would I have time? to warm me up so I can literally kiss goodbye, so I think we'll have enough to maybe keep you from having to say goodbye, okay, but if I tell you more, we might not be able to do it, so we'll keep it. at that level I don't want to be told anything that could jeopardize the security of the United States unless it's entertaining for people to hear.

I love space. I'm a big fan of strength. What are you doing? What do they do? space

force

, do we guarantee unrestricted access and freedom to maneuver in space? Alright? Are there currently any restrictions that we are not aware of? Is there a space war we don't know about? a space war you don't know about space skirmish, is there a space skirmish we don't know about? Oh, that pause says a lot, you say: how much can I say to this guy? Yeah, well, we know there's been activity recently, right? and other nations are testing weapons and we should really be concerned that I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we know we mean you know or I know, do you know what I know about the weapons that are being tested in space?

Is it the Ruskies? Are they up there shooting our guy? Are they shooting at our satellites? Is it like not? No, are they attacking us? it's like you know the ramming speed is it's it's it's kind of like a galleon uh battles no so what are they doing? there are no battles what there is is an increasing amount of activity there is more stuff up there just two or three years ago we were tracking a little over 20,000 objects in orbit, about 1,500 of them were man-made and now there are almost 50,000 objects and 5,000 of them are man-made, so it's getting very, very busy, wait a second if the others weren't man-made.

Are you saying the aliens made everyone else okay? Just let the cat out of the bag. No, no, dad has three eyes, there is no cat, there is no cat, no, it seems that a cat is not really a cat, no, you also monitor missiles launched from submarines, right, yes, okay. Why do they have to monitor all of space and part of the ocean? The Navy is that lazy, no, but they say, "Hey, guys, could you grab something from the ocean? We're

lost

, no, no, it's the weather, the missiles we don't use." They don't stay underwater, sure they go through it, but the missiles that are in space eventually hit the earth, it's not like the military takes it from there, you guys are the space force, yeah, it looks like the Navy is trying to give them some of the things they don't have.

I don't want to do it and it's cool, there's no one from the Navy here, just us chickens, you're the top enlisted officer of the Space Force, okay, I'm going to ask you a question that I've asked several people at NASA. . Stop asking but I won't because what I'm going to ask you is important and we are both adults. I didn't need you to answer this question directly. There are people who do it in space. Don't know. Do you think it would be important for people to do it in space so we know what it's like to spread the human species on other planets and maybe repopulate the Earth in case something happens while people are in space for science for science ? in space for science, you don't know, you have to imagine that everything is fine because there is no gravity that is better than a water bed, right, the water bed is impossible, by the way, that's for the Navy, you guys are in space, they find the point of zero gravity, no, this is when you're starting to regret the interview.

I apologize. You're a gentleman and you shouldn't be doing this. Let's go back to the aliens for just a second. If you had to come face to face with an alien, okay, let's move on. something basic, I'm not saying a Gorn, okay, I'm not saying a Klingon or a Kazinti, I'm just saying like, uh, a gray, okay, okay, a slender Lithuanian basketball player a little lanky, which Captain of Starship would you emulate and are you? fighting you go Captain Kirk reboot Kirk Picard Janeway I'm probably going to Han Solo wow very cute so you just shot first why do space lasers go pew pew pew pew pew why do they make that sound if you don't know for the Well, um, yeah Han uh If you were having sex in space, would you shoot first?

Okay, it's a five-star radar facility. Yes, I heard that if I stood in front of that for about five minutes, it would boil the contents of my stomach. It's true? terribly graphic, it would cook me like a microwave. I wouldn't, yeah, I wouldn't stay there. I have interns to get college credits. We could have them wander in front of him. I don't believe it. Drama students, that thing detects intercontinental ballistic missiles. yes sir ok I bet when it's 40 degrees below zero here every BM you take is IC just to make that joke that's fantastic thank you thank you.

I think our job is done here, let's go back to the United States. I made a poop joke at the top. of the world when we return my epic saga of the green Atlantic continues stay there