PRETEXTOS PROFESIONALES

-Jaime, do you have a minute? -Yes, of course, come in. I came to talk to you about the report. I'm not turning it in and I wanted to see what excuse is better. Well. What excuses do you have? I was thinking my computer broke and I lost everything. Come on! That one doesn't work anymore. It's better to say that you were in the bathroom masturbating. It's like saying you didn't receive an email. Put some will into it. You have to feel bad for not forgiving, it has to be personal. -The death of a family member. -Yeah.

That could work. So let's go with the classic. My grandmother died. Do you know that she? Two weeks ago her brother-in-law died. I don't know... Two deaths in a row sounds fake. -That's true. -Yeah. Anything else? I'm breaking up with my wife. Okay, I think that might convince me. You can cry? No, but if I rub my eyes, maybe. Well. Why do you separate? For the death of her brother. Since he died, she became cold and distant. We don't get along anymore. I've actually wanted to break up with her, but I can't now, it's the worst time.

Man, no way! I have goosebumps! -That's good. Use that. -Alright. That is a good one. -Jaime, do you have a minute? -Yes, of course, come in. What's happening? How is the report? Well, actually I came to tell you that I can't deliver it. Why not? Do you remember my brother-in-law died two weeks ago? Well, my wife has changed a lot since then. She is cold and distant. I don't recognize her. Things between us are no longer the same. I want to be there for her, but I also want to leave her. -I can't make the report. -Wait, relax, it's okay.

I understand. I can wait until tomorrow. -I can't do it tomorrow either. -Why not? Tomorrow I will be bitten by the Zika mosquito. -Thank you. -Alright. Continue. Damn Urrutia! He always surprises me. Hello Jaime, how are you? I'm here for the paycheck. The paycheck! Yes, that's true. -But I didn't go to the bank. -Actually? It's just that we are doing the audit and we are really supported... -I used that excuse, right? -Yeah. Cracks in the bathroom. They started in the mirror. -The building is falling. -Actually? Yes, Civil Defense passed. It is awful. -I've used that too, right? -Yes, last month.

Yes, last month. Have I used aliens before? -No. -No? I am an alien. -That? -Yeah. I'm from Mars.